Authors: Amy Johnson
“You’ve got the wrong idea about that.”
“Whatever,”
s
he snapped. “Just go to bed, will ya? Leave me alone.”
“Ok. I’ll leave you alone.” He took her hand. “I just want you to know, I’ve always loved you. That has never changed.” Yeah right. Probably he loved Tiffany Triple D too.
She snorted in disbelief, “Well
,
aren’t I lucky? My husband loves me. Woohoo! I can hardly control my excitement. Now leave me alone.” He searched her eyes for what seemed like an eternity before finally releasing her hand and leaving the room. A moment later Megan heard his footsteps going up the stairs, then the sound of running water in the bathroom.
She sat on the floor staring at the mess she’d been trying to clean up. Ted thought she was beautiful. He loved her. That’s what she’d wanted
,
right? She could probably follow him up those stairs and put a little passion back in their marriage. Now she had back a little of what she longed for. All she had to do was go get it. But it was too little
,
too late. Now the thought of a passionate night with the man she once loved more than life itself made her want to throw up. All over her mother’s left over lasagna on the kitchen floor.
By twelve-thirty that night, Ted was sleeping like a baby, probably dreaming about Tiffany. Megan sat on her front porch steps waiting for Mickey to show up.
She had dressed in a black sweat suit with black shoes and had a black Nike ball cap on backwards, her newly short hair sticking out the front. She’d loaded two flashlights, her purse
,
and an old Polaroid camera in Ted’s black gym bag and she clenched the keys to the studio in her hand. All she needed was Mickey and she was good to go.
Mickey was running late. And the later he got the more second thoughts she had. What she should do
wa
s wait until tomorrow, talk with Ted, and figure out where they went wrong and then develop a plan to fix it. Only that wouldn’t happen because he’d just lie to her and behave for a little while
,
and once he was satisfied the coast was clear he’d cheat again. And next time, he wouldn’t be so careless about it.
Of course that theory only worked if he was cheating on her. Which, he had to be. Why else would he have naked pictures of his friend in the basement if he wasn’t?
She’d have to divorce him. It would send her mother into a catholic frenzy but if he was having an affair, he had to go. She’d be alone. She blinked back a tear. She’d never been alone. She went straight from her parent’s home to this house with Ted and even though they had a distant marriage he was still there. A warm body to lie next to at night or share a meal with.
Megan saw headlights coming down the street and a moment later Mickey’s car swung to a stop at the curb. She grabbed her bag, crawled in the front seat
,
and rested the bag in her lap. She glanced back and saw Josie in the backseat.
“Ready?” Mickey asked.
“I guess. What took you so long?” Mickey pointed to the backseat with his thumb.
“I had to go get Josie. She’d a killed us if we hadn’t brought her along.”
Megan had a flashback to Josie prowling around the basement in her condom covered fingers and stifled a laugh.
“Where’s Duff?” Megan asked.
“I sent him home. He’s on probation. B&E would not be a good idea for him right now. He said if we do anymore after September he’d love to come along. His probation is up then.” Megan rolled her eyes and bit her cheek to keep from lecturing Josie about her choices when it came to men.
“B&E?”
“Breaking and Entering?” Josie and Mickey both explained.
“Well technically,” Megan began, “I don’t think its breaking and entering because I own the studio with Ted. So I think all we are doing is entering.” She held up the keys to the studio. “With a key.”
“So we won’t be breaking anything?” Josie asked sounding way too disappointed.
“No.”
“Well that just sucks. I even went out and bought some gloves.” Josie leaned back in the seat and sighed. “My first B&E and I don’t get to break anything. What a rip.”
Megan and Mickey exchanged looks. He had an amused look on his face. He was certainly enjoying himself.
“Oh I know!” Josie shouted startling both Megan and Mickey. “We can give each other code names.”
“Yeah like Larry, Curly and Mo,” Megan said.
“No silly, like I’ll be…Lolita.” Josie eyed Megan and Mickey slowly. “Mickey can be Bond. James Bond.” Mickey smiled. “And Meg, you can be…uh…Oh no I can’t think of a name for you. Mickey?”
“Minds blank
,
babe.” Mickey answered.
Josie thought about it, “Mine too.” Literally Megan thought. Good thing she had big boobs. At least God compensated for giving her an IQ of twelve.
“I don’t need a name,” Megan said flatly.
“Hey, we could be Charlie’s Angels. What were their names?” Josie
asked
.
“The original ones or the new ones?” Mickey asked.
“Huh?”
“Well first there was the original series back in the seventies,” Mickey explained to Josie. “And then they made a movie recently with a new cast. You haven’t seen it?” Josie shook her head. “It’s bitchin’
,
babe. You gotta see it.”
Megan banged her head on the passenger side window glass listening to Mickey and Josie talk about the Charlie’s babes and their wicked outfits.
The o
ne thing about Josie and Mickey
was
that they seem
ed
to be made from the same mold. They ha
d
the same personality and demeanor. If they could somehow share bodies, they’d be the perfect human form. With Mickey’s intelligence and sense of humor and Josie’s big boobs and model looks, they could do some serious damage. Of course they both d
id
enough damage by themselves to keep Megan and the rest of the girls in a constant state of damage control.
Sitting in the car with them now made Megan think of the Wizard of Oz. If they were all going to see the Wizard right now, Mickey would ask for a killer set of knockers and a woman’s shoe designer to keep him supplied in size 13’s. Josie would naturally ask for a brain. And if she wasn’t smart enough to ask herself, Mickey and Megan would make sure the request got through. And Megan, Megan would ask for the truth. For the truth about a man she’d spent ten years with, yet she felt like she didn’t even know. And now
,
sitting in this car she wasn’t even sure she really wanted it. Loneliness wasn’t appealing. In fact it scared her to death.
“Alright! We’re here.” Mickey announced as he cut the engine. “We just going to go on in?”
“Yep.” Megan held out the key ring and began looking for the right key. She hadn’t been to Ted’s studio in years when he hadn’t been there, so she had no idea which key fit the lock. When they got to the door she’d have to use the flashlight to see and start trying keys until she found the right one. They’d parked behind the studio and two parking lots over
,
where the factory workers parked their cars for the graveyard shift. Hopefully Mickey’s car would not be noticed.
“What if Ted wakes up and finds you MIA
,
babe?”
“He won’t,” Megan answered briefly.
“Think he’ll think something’s up? Go out looking for you.”
“He won’t wake up.” Either the words or her tone startled him because he stopped walking. Josie was digging in her purse and walked right into him sending them both lurching forward. It wasn’t until then that the light from the parking lot was bright enough to take in their costumes.
“What do you mean he won’t wake up? You kill him?”
“No. I dosed him. He’ll sleep like a baby.” She gave Josie a thorough once over. She m
ight
be clueless but when it came to fashion she was gifted. And creative.
“Dosed him? With what?” Mickey asked watching her closely through squinted eyes.
“Benadryl. I gave him three pills.” Mickey stood rigid, his mouth open. “Don’t worry,” Megan explained quickly. “It won’t kill him. It’ll just knock him out.”
“You sure?” From the sound of his voice he’d transformed into Michael. Responsible, reliable
,
and cautious Michael. Too bad his clothes stated the absolute opposite.
“I’m positive.” When he still didn’t look convinced she changed the subject. “And what’s with the clothes
?
You don’t look like cat burglars. You look like sex kittens.”
“Divas,” Mickey corrected. Once they got to the door and she felt covered from the entry way she trained the flashlight on them. Mickey was wearing a tight camouflage mini skirt with a ripped hem that was decorated with rhinestones nestled together in haphazard patterns. His shirt was also camouflage and had the words U.S. Army sequined on the front. The wiry hair from his chest and arms stuck out everywhere. His bleach blonde hair was ratted and nestled
on
top
was
a US Army visor
,
and he wore combat boots which he’d embellished with spray paint and glitter to give them a camouflaged diva look. With his height and build he looked like G.I. Joe the drag queen drill sergeant in a circus side show.
Josie on the other hand had traded in her glitz and glamour look for an attempt at a gothic Marilyn Monroe. She wore a black bustier and short black leather shorts that covered a miniscule amount of her pretty little butt. Her legs were encased in black fishnet stockings that were ripped and torn-purposely Megan assumed
,
and thigh high vinyl boots with heels that added a good six inches to her five foot six frame. Her platinum blonde hair was arranged in a flawless bob and her
makeup
was black and flawless. Tough Marilyn Monroe may have been her inspiration; Marilyn Manson was the end result. And as usual
,
she looked completely hot.
“I told you to wear something comfortable, something you could move in. You guys look like you should be trick or treating. Or better yet turning tricks,” Megan said as she began trying the keys.
“Good. That’s just the look we were going for,” Mickey said
,
admiring his get up.
“Yeah. I had to put together a special outfit for my first felony,” Josie said, giddy with excitement. “Plus if we get busted and go to jail I want to look hot in my mug shots.” She paused, pondered something. “You know if we get caught we could be on T.V. Maybe even Cops. They could do a special episode. You know Fabulous Fashion Felons or something like that. My Mom would shit a brick if I wasn’t dressed to the nines. She’d probably tape it and show it to all her friends and then…”
Megan continued trying keys doing her best to ignore Josie and her bulging cleavage. Mickey was holding the light for her while she tried the seventh key. The lock clicked and she swung the door open, and then slammed it shut again, covering her ears in a panic.
“What the hell was that?” Josie asked scurrying behind Mickey to hide.
“Sounds like an alarm,” Mickey said, stating the obvious. Megan stood frozen staring at the door. When had Ted installed an alarm? And why? They’d never been broken in to. The studio was located in a nice neighborhood. There seemed to be no need for an alarm. Of course he did have a lot of expensive equipment.
“You know anything about alarms?” Megan asked. The question, of course, was aimed at Mickey but it was Josie who responded by pulling a small satin looking sash from her bustier and examining the tools.
“I used to date this guy once,” She began and Megan and Mickey both rolled their eyes and shook their heads. “And he used to house sit for rich people when they were out of town, and he always had to…what do you call it? Circumvent their alarm systems. I watched him do it a few times. All you have to do is…”
Josie began to work on the alarm system with talk of ‘demagnetizing the connection’ and other terms that Megan knew nothing about. She just stood frozen in shock and disbelief as Josie matter of factly went through the how to’s of disarming an alarm, all the while using the tools as expertly as a surgeon would a scalpel. You know
,
for a woman with so little common sense she could surprise the hell out of you with some of the stuff she knew. This was evidence that she did have a brain but maybe it was programmed on the wrong channel.
“…And that should do it.” Josie tried the door and it was pure silence. No buzzing from the alarm. No ear scattering shriek. “See? Piece of cake.”
“Uh Josie, this guy, where is he now?” Mickey asked.
“Jail. I don’t know what for. He said it was a bum rap.” And her IQ
wa
s back in the negatives. She must’ve burned what few cells she had disarming the alarm.
“Josie, you ditz,” Megan snapped as they entered the office. “He’s in jail because he wasn’t house sitting for anyone. He broke into those houses and probably robbed them blind after he rolled you around in the sheets. Jeez!”