Mazel Tov: Celebrities' Bar and Bat Mitzvah Memories

First and foremost we would like to thank Kate Marcus, whose hard work, talent, dedication and passion for this project made the book possible.

A heartfelt thank you to all of the wonderful people we worked with at Simon & Schuster including our outstanding editor, Amanda Murray; her incredible assistant, Annie Orr; and the always supportive David Rosenthal. We also would like to personally thank Michael Korda for his enthusiasm and interest right from the inception of the book.

Also, special thanks to Katie Hockmeyer, Lindsay King, Katie Murphy, Bridget Leininger, Joyce Piven, Stacy Green, Billy Daley, Devin Johnson, Sabrina Clay, Guy Ludwig, Christine Taylor, Ashley Stachowski, Rich Thurber, Nicki Fioravante, Rose Snyder, Leslie Adler, Stephanie Jones, Mary Duffy, Erika Masonhall, Marshall Wittman, Jessica Michaels, Marla Kleiner, Jack Jason, Jody Smith, Mary Garrigan, Tarik Flannagan, Andrea Smith, Lisa Kussell, Jon Streep, Jill Fritzo, Ron Fierstein, Donna Bojarsky, Diane Harrington, Julie Nathanson and Amos Remer.

Introduction

Jeremy Piven

Michael Kors

Harvey Fierstein

Larry King

Jeff Zucker

Noah Wyle

Kirk Douglas

Charles Grodin

Donny Deutsch

Richard Dreyfuss

Howie Mandel

Andy and Josh Bernstein

Marlee Matlin

Henry Winkler

Ed Koch

Bark Mitzvah Lady

Judy Gold

Gene Shalit

Ronald Perelman

Joseph Lieberman

By Jill Rappaport

You might be asking, What’s a nice Jewish girl from Michigan doing writing a book about the bar and bat mitzvah experience when I never had one myself? Well, because I did…. Even though I personally never got to utter those precious words, “Today I am a Wo-Man,” the bat mitzvah experience left an indelible mark on my life, and here’s why: at thirteen, no one loved a party more than I. And boy, those were some
serious
celebrations intensified by my
serious
crushes on some of the boys. The service seemed to give these thirteen-year-olds an air of confidence that they did not have the day before. Maybe that phrase “Today I am a Man” is more poignant than we think. However, being the
deep
thirteen-year-old that I was, the stellar moments for me included the excitement of wondering what to wear, putting on way too much makeup, then parading into the parties with my best pals, Lisa Lapides and Laurie Dean, and watching the boys check us out. I should mention I dreaded the hora but kicked butt in the bunny hop.

As for my childhood, I was born in Detroit and raised in a Reform home. My wonderful, supportive, and nurturing parents, Mona and Daniel Rappaport, were not very religious, but respected the Jewish tradition and passed that on to my sister, Linda, and me. When I was ten, we moved to Bloomfield Hills but continued to go to Temple Israel in Detroit. To be honest, I dreaded Sunday school, and the idea of memorizing all the Hebrew required to be bat mitzvahed was not exactly my idea of a good time. So, fortunately, my parents gave me another option: confirmation. Again, the weekly classes were a nightmare, but the final celebration, the party, was fabulous! Deep, huh? I realized at that moment that what I had done was special. I was blessed to have gone through the ritual. The year was_____. (I can’t say; my mother does not allow me to reveal my age.) But I can say the month: it was June. Of course I remember what I wore; you never forget the important things in life. And what an outfit it was…. Can you say
frightening?!
We’re talking a shiny, floral, one-piece, sleeveless hot pants number with a wraparound skirt open in the front to expose my gams. This was definitely a fashion “Don’t,” but I “Did” it anyway, and the scary thing is that I thought I looked fabulous. So did my boyfriend at the time, Steve Finkel. But what did he know? His hair was longer than mine, and he wore a corduroy jacket with velour pants. Mr. Blackwell would have
kvelled. That
list I would have made!…The celebration after the service was at our home. Everyone came to pay homage to me, the girl who was voted “Most Seen in the Halls Without a Pass” in high school. Needless to say, I was every teacher’s worst nightmare, and I did not fare much better with the rabbi. They all used to shake their heads and say, “God help your parents.”

That said, I was lucky to have Rabbi M. Robert Syme in my life. He was a warm and dear man whose expressions have stayed with me throughout my life—for example, “Every day, God gives you twenty-four gold coins, and it is up to you how you spend them.” The idea that every hour of every day is precious is something that I try to remember. He was a very special person.

Looking back, my confirmation was a significant moment in my life and an important milestone. Fast forward: years later…. (Don’t worry, Mom, I won’t say how many.) And here’s the book, featuring special bar and bat mitzvah memories. I even threw in a confirmation, and I would like to say I hope you find the stories shared by these many wonderful, well-known people to be as touching, heartfelt, and hilarious as I did. In talking with each individual about his or her own experience as a Jewish thirteen-year-old in the limelight, it was clear that each was affected in a profound way. Some knew they were born to be on stage or in front of a camera, like CNN’s talk guru, Larry King, and Emmy-winner Jeremy Piven. Others discovered they could have the power to lead, like NBC’s president and chief executive officer, Jeff Zucker, and U.S. Senator Joseph Lieberman. A few overcame tremendous difficulties to even have a bar or bat mitzvah, like Oscar-winner Marlee Matlin and actor Henry Winkler. And one decided the bar mitzvah experience was even more special the second time around…even at eighty-three years old, says beloved actor Kirk Douglas. From doing it
his way,
like designer Michael Kors, to having
no say,
like
Deal or No Deal
host Howie Mandel. Every story is unique and heartfelt, and the fact that this book focuses not only on bar mitzvahs, but also bat mitzvahs, and even confirmations, makes it that much more interesting. You will see that all recognize their celebration as a significant and enlightening rite of passage. Despite some humiliating moments for a few, this was the point at which they were launched into the world as responsible people. And
Mazel tov!
for making it part of your library. Maybe after reading this book, you will say, “Today I am a
fan!!
”

Linda Solomon

The phone rang, and it was my best friend in elementary school, Michelle Nickin, screaming with excitement, “Did you get the invitation?” With great disappointment, I had to answer “No.” The mail hadn’t arrived. I decided to wait on the sidewalk. After minutes that seemed like hours, I finally spotted our mailman. He was smiling and waving a parchment envelope bearing my name, elegantly engraved by a calligrapher. It was The Invitation…my first invitation to a friend’s bar mitzvah. I remember every detail about Bobby Fleisher’s special day. It was so very special for me too. From this day on, I saved every bar mitzvah invitation I had received and kept them in order with Bobby’s on top. My mother made a beautiful floral box for me, and I placed each invitation in this box and safely stored them under the window seat in my bedroom. My mother still lives in the house where Jill and I grew up. Not too long ago, I was looking for some things in my bedroom. It looks exactly the way it did when I was thirteen. I decided to open the window seat, and there was the floral box. Bobby’s invitation was still on top.

When I was fourteen I began to prepare for my confirmation at Temple Israel in Detroit. Our grandparents, Elisabeth (Bess) and Louis Rappaport, were founding members of our temple. Temple Israel on Manderson Road was so very elegant and beautiful with its mahogany walls and marble foyer. The year our class was confirmed, stained glass windows depicting our Jewish heritage were created for the temple. Each member of my confirmation class was asked to memorize a passage that described a story from one of the windows. My portion (four lines) referred to the window describing the life of Rabbi Leo Beck. Recently, one of my friends who was in my confirmation class told me he still remembered my four lines, since all I did every day for months was repeat every single word in those four lines to anyone who would listen. The thought of speaking in front of the congregation made me very nervous. I have to admit and I am embarrassed to reveal that I did walk up to the
bima
with my four lines written on my hand just in case. My parents celebrated my confirmation with our family and close friends at a beautiful afternoon luncheon at our house. It was a sunny June day, picture perfect, and I was the photographer so I’m not in many of the photographs. I used my Polaroid Swinger, one of my confirmation gifts, to capture my special day.

It has been many years since my confirmation. Every year at the high holy days, I reflect back. Temple Israel has relocated and is a much larger and contemporary synagogue, but the beautiful eternal light from the original temple remains eternal. And the stained glass windows designed and created during my confirmation class still adorn, and the bright and beautiful colors of the image in the Leo Beck window reflect my history.