I hear the keys jingling and his footsteps coming from our bedroom. “I can’t believe I got talked into going over to Mason’s so I can help babysit.”
“Suck it up, buttercup.” I pat his face, turn to open the front door and walk off towards the truck. “Just think of all the laughs you’ll get at Mason’s expense while he’s trying to handle the twins.”
“You know I’ll get dragged into helping.” Cooper opens the driver side door of his truck and slides in. “He can’t do shit by himself.”
“My brother will be there, too,” I offer.
“Ha, he’s got his hands full, too.” He shakes his head “Do you see where I’m going with this?”
“You could go to Jackson’s and pray you don’t get the stomach bug from Alex.” I’m trying to make him see he’s got the better deal.
“Yeah, no thanks. I’d rather deal with crying babies and shitty diapers than throwing up,” he shivers. “As little as those kids are they have more bodily functions than I’ve ever seen.” Cooper pulls out of the driveway. “We’re waiting to have kids for a few years. I want us to enjoy ourselves first.”
“I’m okay with that,” I shrug. “We’ve got all those nieces and nephews if the desire to have babies any sooner ever comes up.”
I like that he wants kids with me in the future. We never really talked about it. Since getting engaged and planning a wedding for next year I don’t see how having a kid would fit in. I’d like to buy a house, finish school, and then have kids. We’re both still so young and trying to figure out our life plans so holding off on having any kids is perfectly fine with me. That is until I glance down at my cell phone and see a text from my mom.
Mom 5:09pm:
Just checking in with you. Have fun at the movies.
Mom has kept her word about checking in with me so I’m not worried all the time and I don’t pester her.
Me 5:10pm:
Thanks mom. How are you feeling?
Mom 5:11pm:
I’m fine, Jay. Have fun. Stop worrying.
I hate that I’m a worrier. I wish I could just push it all aside and just live in the here and now but it’s so damn hard for me.
I can feel Cooper’s eyes on me so I glance over at him.
“What’s the matter?”
I shake my head and attempt to shove the worrying away. “Nothing.”
“Jay,” Cooper warns.
“Mom just texted me.”
“And?”
I rest my head back against the headrest. “She was just checking in.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” He glances from me back to the road. “That’s what you wanted, right?”
“Nothing is wrong with it.”
He shakes his head and mumbles something like ‘this isn’t going anywhere’.
“I was just thinking about our future, finishing school, the wedding, kids and then I saw a text from her and it made me sad.” I try to keep my emotions in check but it’s so damn hard sometimes. “There is a chance she might not be around for any of that.” I take a deep breath and hold the tears at bay.
“I’ve told you this a million times and I’ll keep telling you. Stop worrying and thinking about things like that unless you have a reason to.” Cooper grabs my hand and brings it to his lap. “She’s fine right now.”
I nod. “She’s fine right now.”
A few minutes later we pull up to Mason’s. MacKenzie, Hunter, the kids, Chloe, and Layla are already here. Before Cooper even has the truck shut off the front door swings open and Hailey is standing there with her hands on her hips.
I take a deep breath and push all the heavy stuff aside. “Told you to hurry up.” I mumble climbing out of the truck. “It’s Cooper’s fault.” I yell over towards Hailey.
She stands there shaking her head. “You keep having sex the way you two are and she’s gonna be knocked up next.”
Cooper throws his arm around Hailey’s neck and pulls her inside with him. “Your two kids are enough birth control for us, sis.”
“Hardy har har.”
“Boo!” Mason yells from somewhere in the house. “What the hell is this shit?”
We follow Hailey into the kitchen where Mason has both the babies in high chairs. He’s holding jar of food up to his nose and smelling it. “This smells like shit.”
Hailey goes over and takes the jar from Mason. “Quit smelling it and just feed it to them.”
“I tried that.” Mason throws his hands up. “Caleb just spits it out.”
Hailey takes the spoon from the tray and dips it into the jar. “Open up, bubba.” Caleb with his big blue eyes and dark curly hair opens his mouth and closes his lips around the spoon. He swallows and opens his mouth again.
“Unbelievable.”
Cooper starts chuckling. “Looks like you don’t have the magic touch there,
daddy
.”
Mason turns and glares at Cooper. “Let’s see you do it, tough guy.”
Cooper never backs down from a challenge. He steps over to Hailey and takes the jar from her. He follows the same steps as Hailey. Caleb opens his mouth and takes the food without a problem.
Mason throws himself in the chair at the kitchen table.
“He’s a picky eater.” Hailey tries to stroke Mason’s ego.
Mason rolls his eyes.
“Try it with Alexis. I bet you she eats it.”
Chloe steps into the kitchen. “We gotta get going or we’re not going to have time for dinner.”
Hailey holds out the jar and spoon for Mason. He takes it from her Alexis opens her mouth wide for him. She is absolutely adorable with her blonde hair in a ponytail at the top of her head. “See.”
Mason smiles.
“She’s only being so compliant now because she’s going to be a handful when she’s a teenager,” Cooper grips on Mason.
“Fu—”
He gets cut off by Hailey hitting him in the stomach. “Mouth!”
“Schooled,” Hunter shouts coming into the kitchen.
MacKenzie steps up beside him. “You’re one to talk. What was one of Olivia’s first words?”
Hunter looks down shaking his head. “Shit.”
“Exactly.”
Cooper bumps MacKenzie’s shoulder. “Hey.”
MacKenzie turns towards Hunter giving her brother the cold shoulder. “We’re getting out of here.” She stands on her tip-toes kissing Hunter on the lips. “Love you.”
Hunter glances over to Cooper and chuckles. “Love you, too.”
“You can’t ignore me forever.” Cooper shoves his hands in his pockets. He admitted to me he felt a little guilty not involving her in at least helping to pick out the ring.
She completely ignores him and walks out to the living room and comes back in with Layla. “Let’s go, girls.”
Cooper steps in front of MacKenzie with his hands still shoved in his pockets. “I’m sorry.”
MacKenzie puts a hand up to her ear. “What was that?”
Cooper drops his head to his chest. “I’m sorry.”
“Layla,” MacKenzie looks behind her. “Do you hear someone talking?”
Layla holds her hands up. “I’m staying out of this.”
Cooper says it again louder this time. “I said I was sorry.”
I’m trying to hold back my laughter because she’s going to make him work for this.
“That’s better,” she reaches up and puts a hand on Cooper’s cheek. “Was that so hard?”
This whole time all she wanted was a sorry. I know she’s happy for us, she’s told me a million times but she’s dragging her brother through the mud for not including her. And I don’t blame her one bit.
Jaylinn
This is the coldest winter we’ve had in a really long time. It’s the beginning of February and they are calling for a foot of snow so I want to stop at the store and grab a few things for dinner and some snacks. I also want to swing by mom’s house to check on her. When we were at her last treatment they changed it up a little because she had started throwing up and was getting really dehydrated.
“Coop, I’m running out for a little bit. Do you need anything?” I lean over the back of the couch and kiss his cheek.
“We need some water but I think that’s it.”
“Okay, I’m going to stop by mom’s really quick to just check on her and see if she needs anything.”
“Alright,” he’s barely paying attention because he’s watching a movie.
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I pull up to the house I grew up in and it’s funny after all these years that nothing really has changed. Same old color, same old porch that needs a little TLC and the screen to my old bedroom window still has a little hole in it when Cooper’s thumb went through it. I was late getting home when we snuck out together one night. I didn’t want to get in trouble or be seen with Cooper so he helped me climb through the window but when he pushed up on the screen his thumb broke through it. A smile graces my lips as I remember that night.
I climb from the car and grab the bag of rock salt near the front door. The sky is getting darker; the snow will be here soon. I sprinkle some on the steps and down the walkway before placing it back on the step and going inside.
“Mom,” I call out.
She doesn’t answer me so I go back towards her bedroom to see if she’s in there. She’s been sleeping a lot, too.
I tap my knuckles on her bedroom door and push it open. She’s not in there. Then I hear the sound of her crying. I turn and rush towards the bathroom.
“Mom,” I push the door open and see her on her knees in front of the bathroom sink. “Mom,” I bend down so I’m eye level with her. “Mom, talk to me.”
She holds her hand up as she burst into tears again. “My hair,” she gets out between hiccups.
I glance down to her hand with the clumps of her hair in it. My lungs tighten and it’s so damn hard to breathe. We knew this would happen, again, another side effect. But, we were also hoping it wouldn’t or it would at least be minimum hair loss. By the look of the clump in her hand and the huge bald spot in the front of her head, that’s not the case.
Shove the heartache and pain away, Jay. Be strong for mom.
I take the hair from her hand and toss it in the trash can. I turn back around and grab her hands within mine. “Mom, look at me.”
She slowly raises her head.
“Your hair will grow back. Remember all those times we talked about this?” Mom and I had been looking up different styles and types of wigs just in case this happened. We were laughing at the time saying she could have different color hair every day of the week. It’s not so funny now.
“I know,” she sniffles. “I just wasn’t expecting it so soon.”
I nod in agreement. “I’m going to go call Kelly and see if she can fit us in today, okay?”
After we looked up the wigs we called spoke to the hairdresser we’ve used for years. We explained what was going on and asked what her opinions were. She suggested that mom cut her hair short so that it wasn’t such a shock but mom refused. She said that she wasn’t going to lose any of it. I’m betting she is regretting that now.
“Okay.”
I help her off the floor and get her out into the living room. I run out to my car, grab my cell phone and a bag I had stored in my car for when this moment had it presented itself. I bought a few hats for mom while I was out shopping, ones that are cute and stylish and will help with the shock of her missing hair.
I walk back into the house and wander into the kitchen. I place down my things and call over to the salon. I lean over and smell the daisies that Cooper and I sent my mom last week while the phone rings.
“Empire Hair Salon, Kelly speaking.”
“Hey, Kelly, I need to see if you can get mom in today.”
She’s quiet for a second, knowing what this means, but I know that she hasn’t hung up because I can hear her clicking away on her computer. “Just cleared my schedule, see you in a few minutes.”
Kelly herself has battled breast cancer and won but she knows what my mom is going through and said she’d be there for us at the drop of a dime. Anything she can do to make things easier on us she’d do it.
“Thank you,” I sigh and hang up.
I take the bag I put on the table and walk over to mom. “I got you a little something the other day when I was out shopping with Layla.”
Mom doesn’t speak to me but she looks inside the bag and pulls the first hat out. It’s a cute black knitted hat with a flower on it. Since it’s the middle of winter no one will even notice that her hair has started to fall out with this on. Well, that is until we make it to the salon to have it shaved off.
She pulls the hat out, brings it to her face and cries into it. I’m trying to be brave and keep my emotions out of this horrible time for my mom but she’s making it so damn hard. I know I just need to give her a few minutes to get herself under control. Plus, if I don’t walk away for a second I’m going to be crying right alongside her and we won’t get anywhere.
I grab my phone from the kitchen and send a quick text to Cooper and tell him I’ll be longer and why. Then I send a text to Hunter letting him know what happened and also one to Elle so that when she stops over later she’s prepared. Elle’s been a great friend to my mom through all the years. Once she found out what was going on she started to come over every day to check in on her. I’m so thankful that mom has someone in her life like Elle. I don’t know my dad other than he’s a piece of shit but even if for some reason he was still around I doubt that he’d care mom was going through this.