Made To Love You (17 page)

“This feels so wrong,” she attempts to laugh.

“As least the lighting is romantic.” I try to keep the mood light. We’re both so on edge.

After her clothes are off, Jaylinn gets back on the bed and I lay the blanket over her legs just as the tech comes back in.

“We all ready?”

“Yeah.”

I take a seat at the end of the bed and the tech takes a seat in front of the machine. She types a few things and then reaches for a bottle. “This shouldn’t be too cold.”

Jaylinn’s foot flinches as she pours the ‘not too cold’ liquid on her stomach.

“Sorry about that. I’m going to try and do the ultrasound this way and see if we can see anything.” She picks up an instrument and brings it to Jaylinn’s stomach. The screen comes to life with a bunch of snowy stuff on the screen. She takes a few minutes to look around, I guess, but then she takes it off and wipes Jaylinn’s stomach. “Looks like we’re going to have to do a transvaginal ultrasound.”

Jaylinn nods and the tech grabs another instrument that looks like a wand. Jaylinn bends her knees as the tech spreads that same goop she used earlier on the end of it. With her free hand she lifts the sheet and sticks her hand on the blanket, the wand disappearing.

I’m up and on my feet. “What the hell is going on?”

“Transvaginal ultrasound,” the tech repeats what she said earlier. “I’m not able to see anything so I have to perform the ultrasound this way.”

“It’s fine, Cooper.” Jaylinn says in a calming voice. At least one of us is calm because I don’t like the look of this test.

I sit back down and the tech continues. After a few minutes she says, “Ah, there you are.” I glance up to see what she’s looking at but I still don’t see a damn thing.

“Is that it?” Jaylinn turns her head looking at the screen.

The tech taps a few buttons and little plus signs appear on the screen. She points to the screen. “Your baby.”

I lean to the side so I can see the screen clearly but I still don’t see anything. “Where?”

She moves her chair to the side and I lean in close. She points the screen again. “This is the sac.” She draws a circle around a dark area. “And this little thing right here is the baby.” It’s so tiny you can barely see it.

My eyes slide to Jaylinn’s. She’s covering her mouth with her hand. I don’t feel so well so I sit back down. She really
is
pregnant. I’ll be damned.

After the test is over and we have a few pictures to take with us we’re wheeled into a room to wait for the doctor.

“So, looks like we definitely have a baby in there,” Dr. Mock walks in looking at a chart. “I’d say it looks like you’re about six weeks.”

My mind flips back six weeks. Mason and Hailey’s wedding. Our stay at Atlantic City minus Jaylinn’s birth control because she forgot it. We did the old pull out method, but well, we all know that doesn’t work so well.

“We’re going to prescribe you some prenatal vitamins and you’ll need to follow up with your OB in the next few days,” she closes up the files. “Do either of you have any questions for me?”

“Yes, but we could be here for hours.” I blurt out.

Dr. Mock laughs. “We’ll send you home with some information but your follow up appointment will also be a huge help to you as well.” The doctor turns to Jaylinn. “I know these next few days are going to be extremely hard on you but remember, you’ll get through it. Take some deep breaths and some relaxing baths. I’ll also prescribe you something to help you sleep tonight, but after tonight if you’re still this upset call your OB.”

Jaylinn sits up in the bed. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll have your discharge paperwork done up for you and then you can be on your way.”

We sit in silence after Dr. Mock leaves. The events from today start slamming back into me tenfold. Holy shit, what a mess this is.

“Are you mad?” Jaylinn asks me but she’s looking out the window.

I pull up a chair to sit next to her. “Why would I be mad? You didn’t do this by yourself and I know you didn’t do it on purpose.” I take a deep breath. “I’m supposed to be leaving next week for spring training and I’ll be gone a few weeks. Layla just passed away, Eli is fighting for his life, you’re pregnant and you’re mom has cancer.” I take another deep breath. “I know how I’m feeling right now so I can only imagine how you’re feeling, Jay.”

She starts crying again, her whole body shakes with sobs. I climb into bed with her again and let her cry until she can’t cry anymore.

After a while she settles down and is only now hiccupping. “Why does it feel like we are living our lives in fast forward?”

I kiss the top of her head. “I’ve never wanted to rewind a moment in time, until now.” I reach for her hand and hold it tightly. “We only get this moment and whatever the future holds. So if what we are doing seems faster than normal then all I can say is we both better hold on for the ride.”

Jaylinn

I’ve got the two prescriptions the doctor ordered for me. I’ve bottled everything deep down inside so that I don’t feel anything at the moment. I’m just floating along. Cooper and I walk hand in hand back to the waiting room. He wanted to take me home and get me to bed but I wanted to go back upstairs. When he pushes open the door everyone is on their feet. Hunter rushes over to me. “What happened? Are you alright?”

Cooper leads me over to an empty chair and he takes the seat next to me. “She’s fine,” he answers for me.

Hunter crosses his arms over his chest. “I can see that, but what did the doctor say?”

I squeeze Cooper’s hand as my eyes land on Mrs. Del Luca. Her eyes are so red and her cheeks are tear stained. She’s holding onto Erin like she’s her life line. It should be Layla that she’s holding onto but it’s only her memories she’s clinging to in this moment. All the what if’s, what could have been’s, and the what will never be’s, is all that she has to look forward to because of one evil person’s choices. I wish I was strong enough to go sit with Erin and Mrs. Del Luca but I’m not. I’m a damn mess.

“Like I said, she’s going to be fine,” Cooper huffs. “Any word on Eli?”

Hunter glares at Cooper but MacKenzie steps up and backs him away. He’s not going to be happy when he finds out the reason I fainted. It’s another reason why I should have just gone home. Everyone would have understood but I refused to take the coward’s way out and leave so I could cry myself to sleep. The least I can do is be here even though I won’t be much help. I can’t leave Eli here by himself either. Layla wouldn’t want me to do that.

I know I’m also going to have to tell everyone that I’m pregnant but it seems like such a shitty time with everything that is going on. So for now, Cooper and I are keeping it to ourselves. I know this level of stress isn’t good for me at all. I’ve seen what it did to MacKenzie and even Hailey while they were pregnant. I’m going to try my damnedest to be strong for not only myself but for everyone else, too.

After a while of sitting, surrounded by the overwhelming sounds of the loud silence I lived through when we were last here with my mom, I start to nod off. The events from today have completely drained me. I lean my head on Cooper’s shoulder and rest my eyes for a few minutes.

Layla 12:06pm
: Can you talk?

Me 12:07pm:
Yup, give me a few.

About ten minutes went by before I called. “Hey,” Layla answered.

“I’m glad to see you’re still alive. I was getting worried. How are you feeling?”

Layla sighed loudly. “Can you come over?”

I put the key in the ignition and started my car. I had a feeling she was going to ask me to come over. “Sure. I can stop over in about a half hour.”

“Okay.” Layla took a deep breath. “Please don’t hate me. Just give me a chance to explain everything before you tell me to take a hike. So you remember that bar I told you I used to work at?”

“Kind of, Joe’s or something like that?”

“Jax’s,” Layla went on to give me instructions to the bar and told me to meet her in the parking lot. I had to remember to act dumb like I didn’t know anything even though Eli had just told me. Layla needed to tell me her side of the story.

I pulled in right on time. I climbed out and looked around. This was a fucking shit hole. “Is it safe to be here?”

She shrugged. “You want to come in?”

“You live here?”

Layla shook her head. “Yup, I’m sorry I lied to you about where I lived,” her eyes started to water. “I’m sorry about never opening up and telling you anything about me. God, this is so messed up,” she said as she wiped away a tear. “I should have told you about this a long time ago but I didn’t want you to judge me. I didn’t want you to pity me.”

“Layla, I would never.” And that was the truth.

“So let me start from the beginning…”

Layla laid everything out for me. She was embarrassed of where and how she lived. Her mom is an alcoholic who skipped town on her and a little sister who I didn’t know anything about. She also told me that I was right to hate Brian. He had been hitting her for a while. She never left because he was helping her pay the bills to keep the roof over their heads and food on their table.

By the time she was done telling me, she was a crying mess and I was crying right along with her. And Brian’s last words ring out in my head, “You might be laughing now but you’ll be crying later.”

“Jay,” Cooper lifts his shoulder pulling me from my sleep, “you’re crying, baby. What’s the matter?”

I sit up still hiccupping from crying. I wipe my eyes with the backs of my hands and I look down to my lap since I can’t bring myself to look anyone in the eye.

Cooper lifts my chin so I’m looking up to him. “I’m going to take you home. You need to get some sleep.”

I shake my head the whole time. Out of the corner of my eye I notice that the room is empty except for Erin and Mrs. Del Luca. I guess everyone figured they couldn’t do anything right now so they went home. “I have to stay for Eli.”

Erin pipes up, “I’ll call if anything changes.” I hope beyond hope that Eli pulls through this and that he’s okay or it’s going to wreck Erin, and then his niece, Sophia, will lose the one man she has in her life.

“See?”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath know that I have to say goodbye to Layla’s mom. Cooper stands and holds out a hand for me. I turn my body slightly in her direction and as soon as our eyes connect we both start crying again.

Mrs. Del Luca gets up from her chair and wraps me in her arms. “Thank you for loving my daughter. She was so lucky to have a friend like you.”

I’m angry at her. I want to scream and shout that maybe if she wasn’t such a shitty mom that Layla might not be dead. But then I think of Fallon, sweet little Fallon. She is going to be beside herself when she hears about the news. I decide to not even respond back to what she said because I’m afraid she won’t like it. As much as I hate her, no parent should ever have to bury their child.

Cooper takes a step over to Erin and hugs her, “Call us if anything at all changes.”

“I will.”

Erin and I share a long hug and then Cooper and I make our way out of the hospital and down to the car. When I step outside the cold air hits me in the face but it feels good against my flushed face. At least I can feel something.

When we get home the first thing Cooper does is get a bath ready for me. He helps me into the bathroom, removes my clothes and puts a clean towel on the rack for me. Most of the time when I need a little time to myself, Cooper leaves me alone in here to clear my head but I don’t want that tonight. I want to be wrapped up in his arms. I want his shield around me.

“Stay with me,” I say as Cooper turns to leave the bathroom.

He looks over his shoulder. “You sure?”

I nod.

Cooper strips out of his clothes leaving them in a pile at his feet. He climbs into the huge tub first and then helps me in. I sit between his legs and lean back against him. Together we sit in silence for a while. It’s not uncomfortable but it’s intense. We’re both working through our thoughts about today. So much has been altered in the last twenty-four hours. Our lives have forever changed.

Cooper startles me when he speaks. His voice bounces off the walls. “Remember when Fallon called us aunt and uncle for the first time?” I love how he’s remembering her and it’s such a happy memory.

“We were sitting out on the deck at Eli’s about to eat dinner when she asked why she didn’t have any relatives,” my heart squeezes and tears prick my eyes. “That little girl captured my heart that night. The look on her face when I told her that you and I would like to be her aunt and uncle.”

We’re quiet again both remembering that night and the look on her face. Her crazy curly blonde hair was sticking up everywhere, her blue eyes shone bright and when she smiled that little dimple on her left cheek winked at us.

Another memory flashes in my mind. Layla called me late one night and was in a little panic. She couldn’t figure out how to slip money under Fallon’s pillow when she lost her first tooth. When Cooper found out a few days later he handed her a twenty-dollar bill. Layla was pissed but she never said anything to Cooper. He was as star struck about Fallon as I was.