Lucky Break (17 page)

“Shh, it’s okay. She’s not worth it. Don’t let her break you.” Kade pulled her into his arms. They’d graduated only a little while ago. She’d watched the crowd, scanned for her mom who didn’t come.

She’d done exactly what Kade told her not to—she let it break her.

The whole time Mae congratulated her, she kept the smile in place. She pretended it didn’t bother her. This was graduation and they were going out. The second she got to Kade’s truck, the smile melted. She didn’t need to fake it with him.

Kade helped her in the passenger seat of his truck. They drove for a good ten minutes before she realized they weren’t headed to the party. “Where are we going?” Sidney wiped her eyes.

“You can’t go to a party like this, Peaches.”

She shook her head. “You shouldn’t have to miss it. It’s our graduation party! I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not missing anything,” he practically grunted at her and kept driving. He parked the car away from his house and she knew exactly where they were going.

To his little lake cabin.
Their
lake cabin.

Just like she’d done at the hospital that night, he held her while she cried. Shushed her while she asked why she wasn’t good enough. When he kissed her tears away, he didn’t stop there. For the first time, he really kissed her. Not to give her a first kiss, but because he seemed to want to. They started out tentatively, testing the waters. It startled her at first, to have Kade’s mouth against hers like this, but then it felt right. He kissed her like crazy. He tasted minty. His body molded to her and she couldn’t stop thinking that this was
Kade
. They shouldn’t be doing this. She never wanted him to stop, either.

He laid her down and she let him. She couldn’t read the look in his dark eyes, didn’t know what she felt besides the pleasure of his touch. The way his eyes watching her felt as good as his hands.

When he unbuttoned her shirt, she let him. When he kissed the swells of her breasts, she shivered.

It was the most erotic thing to ever happen to her.

Kade’s fingers went for the button on her pants and her heart leapt, nerves and excitement battling inside her.

“I want to be with you, Peaches. I want you. I’ll take care of you. If you leave…I’ll go with you.”

She froze at that. Her plan was to go to Los Angeles in a few weeks. Her mom was ecstatic about
that.
That she was getting out of the trap that was Shamrock Falls.

She lost herself in her pain again, but then he had her pants unbuttoned and he was kissing her stomach, on his way down. “You don’t have to cry anymore, Peaches. I’ll always be there for you.”

Sidney put her hand between them, stopping his kisses. Kade had plans here. He was going to help his mom—to take care of her. He’d never wanted to leave Shamrock Falls and she couldn’t let him uproot his life because of a promise made in the spur of the moment while she cried like a baby.

She couldn’t stay here, either. That might be right for Kade, but not her. She’d still be the little girl her mom left behind if she stayed. “No, Kade. Stop. Just…just hold me.” And he had. For the first time ever, it had been Kade Mitchell who fell asleep before her.

Sidney snuck away then, afraid she’d want to stay and be that little girl who everyone left behind. She ran to Mae and from there, all the way to LA.

Sadness spread through her like a disease. She needed him. Yes, it had been her decision not to take things to the next level, but here, in this moment, she wanted to be as close to Kade as one could get to a person.

They could handle it. When she left this time, things would be different.

“Kade…make love to me.”

He sucked in a deep breath. He crawled over to her, laying her on her back and hovered over her again. If at all possible, his eyes got darker. His body got harder. Kade’s hand cupped her cheek and his tongue danced with hers. When he pulled back, she shivered.

His mouth explored her neck, her collarbone. He pulled one of her bra straps down and kissed her shoulder.

As he moved to the other one, she saw his hand shake. This big, gorgeous man was that excited for her? It was nothing compared to the mini-explosions going off inside her. To the fullness in her chest or the desire flooding in her.

Sidney lifted so he could take off her bra. Goose bumps pebbled on her skin.

“My God, you’re beautiful. So perfect.” His voice actually broke and God, she felt like she could cry again. Good tears, happy tears.

“I want to see you, too.” No, not want. Need.

Sidney fought to steady her hands as they slid between Kade’s body and her own. She unbuttoned his shorts and pushed them down.

“You’re beautiful, too.” Her eyes traveled down, to the space between them. As much as she enjoyed looking, she wanted that distance gone. Badly.

This time when he kissed his way down her belly—when he wiggled her out of her panties—she didn’t stop him. They deserved this perfect moment.

Just like those other times they’d held each other, neither of them let go as they made love.

Chapter Eleven

“I’m not so sure this is a good idea,” Sidney said from the passenger seat. Kade actually wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea, either. Not after yesterday. Not after how it felt to be inside her. To really claim her as his. It was different—knowing he wanted her and finally having her. Jesus, he’d never felt anything like it.

It was Peaches, and she’d been his. He savored every one of those moments, trying to show her the words he knew she would never want to hear.

Even more so than before, though he’d have to do it, he wouldn’t want to let her go.

He was in deep shit.

“She wants to see you. Wants you to meet Justin. It’s only a couple hours,” he said.

His mom had called him on their way home yesterday. When she found out Sidney was with him, she’d begged Kade to bring her when he came for his visit today. He’d been iffy on it, but then she’d asked to speak to Sidney and just like him, Sidney had a hard time telling his mom no.

They’d agreed it would be better if she didn’t know anything romantic was going on between them. It would be easier to explain when Sidney left, but he didn’t like the idea of being around her and not being able to touch her.

“Are you sure you
want
me to go? Will things be uncomfortable for you?”

He huffed. “Mom loves you like a daughter. And you’re my oldest friend. There’s no reason it shouldn’t be comfortable.” But she was right—it would be uncomfortable as hell because his mom knew how he felt about her. Knew how gutted he’d been when she left. And all it would take would be one look and she’d know he’d be the same way when she left again.

He kept trying to remind himself it was supposed to be different this time. He knew all along she would be leaving. That he wouldn’t offer to go, but knowing it was coming wouldn’t stop it from being hard as hell, because the knowledge that this would be temporary didn’t stop him from falling in love with her again.

Had he ever stopped being in love with the woman who sat next to him? He didn’t think so. Not that it mattered either way. What mattered was in less than a week, she’d walk away and he’d let her. What kind of man would he be if he didn’t?

They spent most of their drive to Seattle silent. Sidney screwed around with her phone most of the time. He wanted to grab the thing and throw it out the window.

The second they pulled into his mom’s driveway, she shoved it into her purse.

“Are you sure it’s not a stupid idea to bring her a bag?” She held another one of her creations on her lap.

“Don’t be ridiculous. She’ll freak out over it just like all the women you meet do.” Kade winked at her. “I really want to kiss you right now, Peaches.” He always wanted to kiss her full, red lips, wanted to touch every creamy part of her skin. “That’s not all I want to do to you.”

Her cheeks went pink. “What would you like to do, Kade?” She had a wicked glint in her eye that told him he was in trouble. She planned on making this hard on him. “I’m feeling very needy. Mmm, I’d love to have your mouth on me right now…”

Heat seared his gut. If he wasn’t careful, he’d walk into the house in a very embarrassing state. “You’re being a witch.”

Sidney actually winked at him before saying, “You like it when I’m bad.”

“You’re damn right, I like it.” He started to reach for her when someone banged on his truck.

“Kade! Kade! Kade!” He ripped his hand away at the sound of his little brother’s squeaky voice.

“You’re in trouble later,” he told Sidney with a grin before he opened the door. “Get over here, Squirt!” Kade knelt on the ground and his brother rushed into his arms. He ruffled the little guy’s hair and gave him a hug, Justin squeezing him back in return. “Can’t…breathe…” Kade teased. When Justin let go, he said, “When did you get so strong? You’re going to have more muscles than me soon.”

“Yay!”

Kade stood up and grabbed Justin’s hand. He never thought he’d have a sibling, but he loved it. Loved it more that Justin would never have to deal with the things he had as a kid.

When his gaze locked on Sidney’s, he saw her eyes were watery. He cocked his head at her, but she shook hers as if telling him not to worry about it. He definitely planned to find out what was wrong later, but for now, he hit the unlock button so she could get out. When she walked over to their side of the truck, he introduced her to his brother.

“Justin, this is my friend Sidney. Sidney, this is Justin.”

Despite her skirt, Sidney kneeled to the driveway like he just had. She held out her hand. “Hi, Justin. It’s great to meet you. Kade talks about you all the time.”

Instead of shaking her hand, Justin launched himself at her, giving her a hug. “Are you Kade’s girlfriend?” he asked.

Sidney’s face paled like she didn’t know how to reply. Kade just laughed. “I told you she’s my friend, Squirt. What do you know about girlfriends, anyway?”

“She’s pretty. I like pretty.”

Sidney looked up at him. “What are you teaching this boy?”

Laughing, he scooped his brother in his arms. “She
is
, isn’t she? I like pretty, too. Unfortunately, just because you think a girl is pretty doesn’t mean she’s your girlfriend. They have to agree to it.” He winked at Sidney to show her he was only kidding, but she still looked a little hurt.

“Hey,” he started to say to her just as his mom stepped down off the porch.

“Are you guys going to sit in the driveway all day? I want to see my kids!”

Sidney flinched, but then smiled. Kade grabbed her hand when she stood. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” She turned away from him and headed over to his mom. “Mary! It’s so good to see you again.”

Kade followed her over, holding Justin while the two women hugged.

“Oh, Sidney. We missed you so much. Don’t you run away without telling us good-bye again.”

“I know…I’m sorry.”

This time when he looked at her, he saw a tear escape. Kade watched it roll down her face, wanting nothing more than to kiss it away.

…

Sidney sat on the back deck with Mary, watching Kade play ball with Justin in the yard. He rolled on the ground with his brother, chasing him and playing catch. She’d never had the chance to see Kade with a young child before, and like with everyone else he came in contact with, he was incredible.

She didn’t know what was bothering her, but she’d felt sad, lonely, and confused all day. She had so many mixed emotions about coming to see Mary and Justin. Mary’s new husband was at a work conference, but she’d showed pictures and gushed about him. It warmed Sidney’s heart to see Mary happy. The woman deserved it, but it made Sidney feel lonelier than she had before.

Sidney hated this mopey feeling. Hated seeing Kade look at her like he wanted to try and fix whatever plagued her, when she couldn’t even explain what it was.

“The flowers are beautiful,” she told Mary, trying to get herself out of her weird funk. She had an array of flowers in pots all around the deck and also some planted in the yard.

Mary beamed at her. She had a tinge of gray to her hair that she hadn’t had five years ago. “Thanks. You know I’ve always loved gardening.”

“I do.”

“Do you remember the corsage I made for your senior prom? You and Kade looked so cute together that night.”

Sidney smiled at the memory. A few weeks before the dance, she and Kade had been out by the creek. Rowan had gone home not long before.

“Which one of your girls did you ask to prom? I’m sure they’re all waiting with bated breath to see who you ask.”

Kade had shrugged. “I haven’t asked anyone yet.”

“Why?”

He’d scoffed at that before picking up a rock and throwing it into the creek. “You know I don’t like to dance.”

“Who cares? Senior prom is a huge deal, Kade. You’ll remember this night forever.”

“If it’s so important, I’m thinking we should just go together, ya know? I mean, if I’m supposed to remember that night for the rest of my life, who better to go with than my best friend?” He’d playfully nudged her with his shoulder.

It hadn’t been until that moment that she realized she wanted to go with him. That it had been the reason she’d turned down Thad when he’d asked her. This was her last dance of high school and she’d wanted to spend it with her best friend. “Okay.” She’d shrugged.

“Okay? You’re going to agree that easily? I thought for sure I’d have to talk you into it.”

Sidney pushed him. “I’m not that bad!”

Kade grabbed her hand. “Yeah, you kind of are. Don’t worry. I still love you, though.” Then he’d ruffled her hair. Sidney laughed as she kicked water from the lake at him.

“I do remember… It was gorgeous. You made it with tulips. They were always my favorite flower.”

“I know. Kade threw a fit when I made the first one with roses. I had to scramble at the last minute to put one together with tulips. He wanted everything perfect for you that night.”

Sidney’s insides started to melt, and her heart felt like it swelled. Then her stupid loneliness draped her again. “That sounds like him,” she said quietly as she watched him play with his brother. “He wants to take care of everyone. He puts everything onto his shoulders when it’s not his job to.”

“Eh.” Mary shrugged. “Yes and no. I don’t think it’s a hardship for him to do that for someone like you, who he loves. It makes him feel good. It’s an admirable quality.”

Sidney almost reminded her this was Kade they were talking about—he cared about everyone. Loved everyone. But she didn’t.

“I always felt guilty, though,” his mom continued. “Kade had a rough time of it because of his dad. He always felt bad for not taking better care of me. He never understood that
I
was the adult, and that he never should have had to clean up my injuries. I never wanted him to have to do that, but again, you know how he is. He’s always been protective. Of course, it’s different with you, because he’s in love with you.” Mary wiped a tear that fell from her eye.

Sidney gasped. Kade in love with her? She knew he cared about her. Wanted her. But could he really be in love with her? Her heart kicked up at the thought.
Oh my God. Do I actually
want
Kade to be in love with me?

“After you left, he couldn’t handle being in Shamrock Falls anymore, but I knew he’d never go if I didn’t. That’s how I ended up here. It was the best decision we could have made, but I hated he felt that obligation to me. As his parent, it shouldn’t have been that way.”

Sidney flinched. She’d never forgive herself for walking away from him the way she had. “I’m so sorry, Mary…for what I did. For hurting Kade.”

She reached over and clasped Sidney’s hand. “I am too, sweetie. I’m sorry it happened and I know you didn’t mean it. He made it, though. He’s okay. It’s good to see you kids together.”

“We’re not together.” The words automatically rushed out of her mouth. Again her eyes sought out Kade. He turned to look at her and gave her a smile and a wink. Butterflies went crazy in her belly. Did she want them to be together, for Kade to be in love with her? No…she couldn’t…

She thought about the time they’d spent together since she’d been back. The laughs and tears. The fights and the make-ups. What something as small as a wink or a smile from him did to her.

They had such a wonderful past. So many years behind them.

And yesterday, the way it felt to make love to him—it had never been like that for her. Like it was more than just a physical act. No, it had been. Oh
God…

She loved Kade Mitchell. She was
in
love with him.

Had she always been? Probably. She’d hated the idea of him ever being with someone else. It felt incredible to be the one he turned to.

None of that really mattered, though. What did matter was she knew she’d fallen in love with him
now.

The urge to run hit her. This was exactly what had happened to her mom. She’d fallen in love, had Sidney. Her dad left right after and her mom a few years later. No, she couldn’t let herself be in love with him. If she did, she’d be stuck here.

Would that really be so bad? To be here with Kade and everyone else I love?

“Oh…I just assumed,” Mary said.

“I’m leaving soon.” The words felt wrong coming off her tongue now, but they couldn’t be truer.

“He told me that when you first came back. I don’t know why I thought things had changed. I guess with him bringing you here and as much time as you’ve been spending together, I just thought…” Mary let her words hang in the air.

Did she really want to be with Kade? Yes, yes she did, but wanting it wasn’t enough. She had to leave. Follow her dreams. She made a commitment to LA and she planned to see it through.
There’s nothing here for me, Mae. I have to go.
Her mom’s words came back to her.

“What about Sidney? She’s here.”
Yes! What about me?
she’d thought. “This was never the life for me, Mae…you know that. Sidney…I never planned to have her. She’ll be much better off with you. There are things I want…I just can’t stay. Not for anyone.”

Which meant her mom hadn’t wanted her. She wasn’t good enough to make her stay.

“No. Things haven’t changed. We’re just friends, Mary. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too…just please, don’t hurt him when you go this time.”

Hurt. She’d do anything to make sure Kade wasn’t hurt again. “I—”

“Okay, ladies. Break it up. The men are coming back, aren’t we, Justin? No more girl talk.” Kade fell into the chair beside her. Sidney knew he was aware things weren’t permanent for them this time, that he was okay with it. He’d said so.
She
was the one who had to keep reminding herself.

True, she wouldn’t let herself hurt Kade. But she knew it would break her own heart right in two when she left.