Lucky Break (16 page)

He worked her button next, pulling it out of the hole and then sliding her shorts down her legs. When Sidney stepped out, he took her in. His eyes didn’t miss a spot on her, once, twice, making her shiver from his wandering eyes. She wanted to shy away from his study, but couldn’t make herself move.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he said, “I’m going for sainthood by only swimming with you right now, Peaches.” She was, too. But he didn’t even kiss her. Only took off his shoes and shirt before he walked over to the swing. “Climb on.”

Her head went foggy and her chest felt full. How simple of a thing—him knowing she’d want him on the swing with her—but it filled her with so much happiness she thought she could burst.

Or maybe that was the fear, because suddenly everything felt like too much. Yet she wanted to take her fill.

“Come on. You always swing with me, and I’ve never let you fall.”

She took the hand he held out for her and let Kade help her onto the swing. She had the shakes. From Kade or the height, she didn’t know.

Kade pushed them through the air. They both stood with their feet in the tire, Kade’s feet and legs straddling hers. It was a much tighter fit than it used to be. He’d lean to make them keep going and as he did, his body pressed against hers. She felt him in places he didn’t even touch, inside and out.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” His mouth whispered against her ear.

No, it didn’t feel good. The wind whipped through her hair and her heart rivaled a stampede of elephants. With each pass over the water, her fear flew out of her. Kade wouldn’t let her fall. “It feels incredible.”

The swing transported them back in time. She was that little girl again, spending her summer days with her best friend. Every once in a while he would push them off the tree so they could keep swinging.

“Jump with me.”

His words startled her, ripping her from the past. “I can’t.”

“You can, if you want to.” Little lines crinkled around his eyes. He looked serious, so sure she believed him. “It’ll be fun. Jump with me, Peaches. I’ll hold your hand the whole time, but you don’t need me. You can do it by yourself, if you want to.”

She could, couldn’t she? People did it all the time. Kids did it. The water wasn’t far beneath them and she remembered always wishing as a child that she could brave it.

“Do it.”

She tried to laugh him off. “Didn’t anyone teach you peer pressure isn’t nice?”

He chuckled, his breath mingling with the wind by her ear. “Don’t be a baby.”

“Don’t be a bully.”

She wasn’t sure where the question came from, but she found herself asking, “What does it feel like?”

One of his hands covered hers on the rope. That small touch sent shockwaves through her. “It’s amazing. For those few seconds before you hit the water, you can fly. Adrenaline pumps through you and it’s like you can do anything. You just let go, Peaches, and you’re…free.”

Let go. That’s what scared her. She couldn’t let go with Kade or she’d fall.

She’d fall in love with him.

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

She knew that. If she said no he would stop the swing and let her get off, because that was Kade. He’d never really push her into anything, but hearing him say it almost freaked her out more than the jumping did. She didn’t want him to let her go.

“We’ll go together?”

“Always.” There was no hesitation in his voice.

Sidney let the wind blow everything away—let her fear and worry and insecurities ride through the air. “Count to three.”

“One.” The hand covering hers tightened.

“Two.” Sidney squeezed back.

“Three.” They let go of the rope and they were flying. Or falling was more like it, but it felt like flying as they soared toward the water.

The cold lake rushed over her head as they hit. She pushed for the surface, Kade’s hand still tightly around hers. They broke the water together and he looked so sexy, smiling, his hair flattened against his head.

He was right. In that moment, she was free. And she’d never felt anything like it.

They continued to swing off the rope and play games she hadn’t thought of since she was a kid. By the time they finished, her stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

He pulled towels out of a bag and they sat down on the blanket to eat lunch, with nothing but the sound of water, trees, and nature around them. It was perfect. She still rode a high from jumping, but she felt completely calm and comfortable, too.

Kade was looking out at the water, but her gaze stayed on him. She admired him the way he’d done with her as he undressed her. His hair was still wet, but starting to dry. It was sexily mussed as though someone had run her hands through it.

Sidney wondered what he was thinking about. Their day? Lucky’s? Her?

Because she kept feeling his muscled arms around her. His hand clutching hers. His body hugging hers on the tire.

Sidney shook her head as though the thoughts would disappear like words on an Etch A Sketch. “I think I’ll try to get a tan,” she told him, lying down on the blanket in her underwear. “You’re sure no one will come out?”

“Yup. The family renting the place never really came down here anyway, but I know it’s only the woman there right now. They bought a house in Seattle and her husband has been back and forth. He lets me know when he’s gone so I can keep an eye on things.”

Leave it to Kade to take care of anyone and everyone he could.

Luckily the sun set high in the sky above them, so it was almost like a spotlight where they sat. She closed her eyes and felt Kade lie down beside her. Her lids fluttered open to see him lean on his hand looking down at her. His other hand came up and started to trace the edge of her bra, her neck, throat, and shoulders.

She’d never get used to how incredible it felt to have him touch her. And then, she wanted to know everything about him. To erase those years apart like she’d been trying to do with her thoughts. “Where did you go? The past five years… Where have you been?”

His jaw tensed for a second and she regretted mentioning their time apart, but then he wiped it away. “Seattle. I couldn’t…I didn’t want to be here anymore. After things with you…and then we were finally free of my dad…”

Yes, his dad. She would never forget that night they were both sixteen. Kade woke up in the middle of the night after his mom had been pushed down the stairs.

“Peaches, he hurt her. He hurt her real bad this time.” Kade cried into the phone. It was the first time Sidney had ever heard him cry.

“What happened? Where are you?” Her heart thundered. She felt like she would vomit. It killed her to hear Kade like this.

“I couldn’t get him off her! He pushed her down the stairs. I didn’t know what to do.” He cried harder. Tears were pouring down her face, too.

“Where are you? I’ll be right there.”

“The hospital.”

Sidney grabbed Mae’s keys and raced to the truck. She didn’t even take the time to tell her aunt. The only thing that mattered was Kade.

For once she didn’t stall the truck. She drove like crazy and parked in a doctor’s spot.

The second she got inside, she found him. For the first time in her life she remembered Kade looking small. He was always larger than life, but in this moment, he looked broken.

“She’s unconscious,” he said into her chest.

Sidney just held him while he cried. She held him the whole night as they shared a small, lumpy chair at the hospital. The next day when he said he wouldn’t leave, she stayed, too. Mae came down and got the truck, brought them money and food. Kade had to talk to the hospital staff and the police about what had happened. About all the abuse. And she never let go of him.

They stayed at the hospital for three days until Mary woke up.

He just kept saying he’d kill his dad if he ever saw him again. That he’d never fail to protect his mom. Those words scared her. Not of Kade because she could never be afraid of him, but
for
him. She hated that he had those ugly thoughts in his head.

Still, nothing could have pulled her away from his side.

His dad disappeared after that. Kade took it real hard that he got away without being punished. There were nights Kade would call her like he used to when his parents would fight.

She’d talk to him till morning. Sometimes they’d fall asleep on the phone together. She always wished she could have done more for him.

A few weeks before graduation Kade’s dad had shown up again and gone after Kade’s mom. He got arrested, and Mary hadn’t handled it well. Sidney never could fully understand why, even after that, she’d stayed loyal to him. And of course Kade was there for her, always the protector.

How could she have let him leave his mom after that?

“I’m sorry, Kade. About your dad.” She didn’t know why she said that now. “That’s why…” She didn’t let herself finish. Couldn’t bring up leaving him even now.

“It’s over. He’s gone—that’s all that matters. You saved me back then, you know that, Peaches? Those phone calls—when we’d sneak away at night, I couldn’t have shut it out if it wasn’t for you. I would have gone crazy while we waited for Mom to wake up if you hadn’t been with me.”

Sidney gasped. She suddenly wanted to cry, like her heart would break open, but not because it hurt. No…because it was so full.

She’d saved Kade, too? It hadn’t always been the other way around?

He didn’t give her time to reply and she wondered if it was on purpose. “So yeah, Mom and I packed up and moved to Seattle. I started school there and we rented a little house. She ended up meeting a professor. The man was damned determined to date her, but she kept telling him no.” He never stopped his fingers brushing across her skin as he spoke.

“Yeah…I bet you didn’t want her to have anything to do with him, either. I’m sure you were overprotective of her.”

He didn’t try to deny her words. “It was weird at first. She’d only ever been with my father. She was scared. I wanted to beat his ass before he had the chance to hurt her, but he didn’t give up. He’s a good guy. I told her I thought he was and that was all it took. I think she was more scared I couldn’t handle it than her. It wasn’t long after you—well, and we all know how stubborn I can be.”

Guilt hit her. It wasn’t long after she’d disappeared on him. But now more than ever she knew she couldn’t have let him leave his mom—make him follow her to Los Angeles because he had some misguided hero streak and made her a promise when she was hurting.

“They’ve been married about three and a half years. Justin is two and a half. He’s an incredible kid.”

She laughed, shocked to hear he had a little brother. Then laughed at herself for ever thinking he had a son out there who he wasn’t close to.

“That’s fantastic, Kade. I’m so glad they’re happy.” Glad he was happy too.

“Yeah. She deserves it.” His body tensed as though he were reliving all the things his father had put them through. “It’s in the past, though. What about you? How’s life in LA?”

She actually had to stop and think about how to answer the question. How ridiculous was that? LA was her dream. What she’d always wanted. Why couldn’t she just open her mouth and tell him how wonderful it was?

How could she not have seen that Shamrock Falls was a little piece of wonderful, too?

“It’s good…I mean, it’s LA. I always wanted the city, you know?”

He nodded. Still watching her. Still touching her.

“It’s not as easy as I thought it would be…the auditions…jobs. Still waiting for my big break. They wouldn’t be dreams if they were easy, though, right?” Her words sounded hollow in her own ears.

“I don’t know…yes and no, I guess. Are you happy? That’s what matters, Peaches.” His finger dipped under the edge of her bra, giving her shivers.

She thought of the thrill she got while she acted and how she reveled in discussing a scene with directors. “Yeah. I mean, there are those hard times when I just want to walk away from it all, but there are good times, too. It’s what I’ve always wanted.” She didn’t know why she kept saying that. That it was what she
wanted
.
It’s what I
want
,
she thought
.

“Do you talk to your mom?” He leaned forward, kissing the trail his fingers had just made—the tops of her breasts, shoulders, neck.

“No…not really. Once in a while she calls to tell me how well she’s doing. You know how she’s always been…when I do something good, she cares. Otherwise, I’m nothing.” Sidney could hardly think with his mouth on her. All she could do was feel. She let her eyes drift closed. “She calls to make sure I know I still don’t live up to her expectations…that I’m still not good enough.”

Kade stilled. His body continued to lean over her, but he didn’t move. Finally, he lifted his head. “You don’t have to prove anything to her, Sidney. You’re ten times better than she’ll ever be.”

The conviction in his voice made her want to believe him. “She’s successful. She’s on Broadway. I haven’t made it yet.” Her eyes started to sting. Oh, God. Was she really going to cry? “She left me, Kade. She never looked back. I only asked one thing of her and I wasn’t even worth it for her to come graduation night!”

“Fuck her!” He sat up abruptly. “That was her issue, not yours. It’s because she isn’t worth it, not you. You’re smart, determined, beautiful, and loyal. You can do anything you want and what that woman does, doesn’t matter.”

She felt a stab of pain at the word
loyal
. She hadn’t been loyal to them at all. And he’d said almost the same words to her five years ago. When she spent graduation crying because her mom didn’t love her. That she would never be good enough for the one person a child should always be good enough for.