Learning to Stand (25 page)

“
I thought I was being all
stealth,” she said.

“
I won’t tell,” he said.
Maggie’s little head poked out of his jacket. Maggie yipped when
she saw Alex.

“
My Maggie! What’s she doing
on your side of the deck?” Alex asked.

“
Your Maggie?” Max
laughed.

As a joke, their contractor painted a line
between Max’s side and Alex’s side. He made them promise never to
cross the line without permission. Of course, Max and Alex never
had separate sides growing up. In fact, outside of undergarments,
they wore the same clothing. And, much to their mother’s chagrin,
often slept curled up next to each other in the same bed.

Max held out his arm for her and she tucked
herself against him on a teak bench. He gave her the glass of
Merlot. Hidden from the growing party below, the twins sat in the
companionable silence they called twin time. When Alex sniffled,
Max spoke to their sadness. As they did when they were upset, they
spoke as if they were one person.

“
We always thought we would
have babies,” Max said.

“
I feel...” Alex
started.

“…
awful.”

“
And a little...”

“…
relieved.” Max completed
their thought.

“
Relieved is a good word. I
mean, Nancy had like...”

“…
twenty miscarriages before
they...” Max added.

“…
had the twins.”

“
I couldn’t do that,” they
said in unison.

“
You think John
will...”

“
No,” Max said. “He’s not
going to divorce you. I keep telling you but...”

“…
Mom convinced us,” she
finished his thought.

Max nodded.

“
You ever wish you
weren’t...” Alex started.

“
Never. I don’t care if I’m
sterile.”

“
I don’t care about my bad
eggs,” she said.

“
It’s a part of
being...”

“…
your twin,” they said in
unison.

“
I mean it would be nice...”
Max started.

“…
to have a baby or maybe
twins,” Alex said. “But we...”

“…
can’t.” Max shrugged. “I’m
sad but...”

“…
not enough to wish I
wasn’t...”

“…
your twin,” they said in
unison.

At their pronouncement, white fluffy flakes
of snow began to fall. The twins pulled the bench toward the warmth
of the chimenea.

“
How long have you worked
for Pershing?” Alex asked.

At Max’s laugh, Maggie squirmed in his
jacket. He let her out. She walked across the bench to snuggle in
Alex’s lap. Holding her with her blue cast, Alex rubbed her fuzzy
ears with her right hand.

“
And you were going to
mention it...?”

“
You knew what I was doing,
just not who I was doing it for.”

“
And the law
firm?”

“
I’m a partner in the law
firm, Alexandra. You’ve seen my name on the door, the
stationary.”

“
Uh huh,” Alex
said.

“
I work on the side,” Max
said. “Kind of like you and Homeland, except they pay me. Steve
doesn’t care about my heart. I get to participate, in a small way,
to help secure the nation. It feels good. Plus, it keeps my
security level up so I can hang out with my superspy
sister.”

Max looked at Alex.

“
You knew all of this,” Max
said.

“
Not names, but the rest I
figured out.” Alex nodded. “When you say it now, I don’t feel like
I didn’t know… not like John.”

Max leaned his head forward. Alex pressed
her forehead against his in their gesture of love. While the wind
blew snow flakes on them, the twins rested against each other. Max
was putting more wood on the fire when Alex asked:

“
Are you ever going to date
again?”

“
No,” Max said. “Fran
destroyed any desire to have a relationship.”

Alex laughed. Max glanced at her.

“
Drama,” they said in
unison.

“
Are we going to...” Max
started.

“…
adopt?”

Shifting apart, Alex and Max held each
other’s eyes.

“
We should probably …” Max
said

“…
talk to John,” Alex
said.

“
About what?” John
asked.

He had been standing near his bedroom door
waiting for them. Once they moved apart from each other, he knew he
wouldn’t interrupt their twin time. From her perch on Alex’s lap,
Maggie barked a hello to John.

“
We don’t know if we are
going to...” Alex said.

“…
adopt. We thought we
might...” Max said.

“…
ask you,” Alex
finished.

John sat down in a deck chair next to the
chimenea.

“
Include the husband in a
decision? To what do I owe this honor?”

“
We like you,” the twins
said in unison.

John laughed.

“
I’m not ready to make a
decision. There a few things we need to look at before we are
certain we cannot have our own children. Surrogate for example
or...

“
Surrogate?!” Alex and Max
said in unison.

“
I’ve not had a chance to
think this through. I need to...”

“
Control everything,” the
twins said in unison.

“
Exactly,” John
laughed.

Laughing, Max kissed Alex’s cheek. Without
another word, he picked up Maggie and walked into his bedroom.

John sat next to her on the bench. She
kissed him hello.

“
Love you,” he
whispered.

“
Me too,” she
replied.

“
Your nose is cold,” he
said. “Are you all right out here in the snow?”

He picked up her wrist to take her pulse.
She flicked his hand off. He smiled.

“
Don’t be mad. I just… want
you to have something to… remember me by,” he said. John pulled a
small blue box from the inner pocket of his coat. She winced.
“Please Alex...”

His deep blue eyes implored her to open the
box. She held her right hand out to him. Opening the blue Tiffany’s
box, she found a micro-pavé set diamond band. The delicate platinum
band with gleaming diamonds seemed to echo his love. She touched
her heart with her left hand.

John smiled. Pulling the ring from the box,
he slipped it on her right hand.

“
Your left hand is still too
swollen. And...”

“
You can’t fix my wedding
ring,” Alex said.

He shook his head.

“
The jeweler laughed at me.
We spent...”

“
Forty dollars.”

“
On both rings,” John said.
“I’m so sorry Alex. I wanted…”

Alex kissed him. Softly at first then her
lips and mouth began to consume his responsive lips. With great
effort, he broke off from the kiss.

“
Your parents are here,”
John said.

“
Hmm…”

Their faces were less than an inch
apart.

“
You think...”

John kissed Alex with intense passion. She
had to use her blue cast to push him from her. They sat inches from
each other, out of breath, staring at each other.

“
Knock it off you guys,”
Colin said as he came out onto the balcony. “Mom sent me to get
you. I don’t want to… damage my innocent eyes.”

“
We need to change. Col, can
you tell Mom we’ll be right there?”

“
Not a chance. If I leave,
you won’t show up. You do that every single time. And every time, I
get shit for it,” Colin said. “No way. I’m waiting for
you.”

Alex pushed past her little brother to her
bedroom. Changing into a pair of jeans, she went into the bathroom
to attempt presentable. With her military shaved head, and the
white tips on top, she was her usual fashion failure. When she came
out of the bathroom, Max, John and Colin were waiting for her. They
made their way to the common dining room where a large noisy party
was unfolding.

The noise alone was enough to make them
pause at the door to the dining room. Their house guests laughed
and talked over each other. Moving into the dining room, Alex saw
Matthew, with Erin at his side, near the end of the large dining
table. Outside of their brief interaction around the future of the
team, Alex hadn’t seen him since he was wounded. In this moment,
her pain and disappointment evaporated leaving her beloved friend
in its place.

Matthew stood from his chair and she walked
into his embrace. Erin held Alex’s hand. Stepping back from
Matthew, and squeezing Erin’s hand, she saw Matthew wipe a tear
from his eyes. Erin turned to talk to Samantha.

“
I don’t think I’ve said
this but... I’m glad you’re alive,” Alex said.

“
I’m glad you are alive,”
Matthew said. “I wish you weren’t so famous.”

“
It puts a crimp in my life
in hiding.”

“
Have you seen the video?”
Matthew asked.

“
I haven’t quite gotten
there,” Alex replied. “I’d rather…”

She nodded her head toward Erin then Sam.
She had hoped Erin and Samantha wouldn’t see the video. She was
sure the violence on the video would be too much for them.

“
Me too,” Matthew said. “You
did great, Alex. Really great. I’m very proud of you.”

“
Survival skills mostly,”
she smiled.

Matthew laughed then groaned. He put his
hand over his chest wound.

There was loud cheering toward the entrance
of the room and Alex watched her parents entering the dining room
from the kitchen. Alex looked up when Matthew touched her arm.

“
They want to show the video
late tonight. They… Well, Troy, would like you to give commentary.
Steve Pershing wants to review the fight and get your assessment.
He hasn’t admitted it but I think he wants to brag on your
skill.”

“
Oh boy,” Alex said out of
the side of her mouth.

She turned to hug her mother. Rebecca made
cooing noises over Alex. She touched Alex’s abdomen, her cast and
the bruises on her face. Alex could barely tolerate the fussing.
She fought to keep from slapping her mother’s hands away. After
decades of disconnect, she and her mother were trying to find paths
toward each other. Alex smiled at Rebecca.

“
That awful man is here.”
Rebecca leaned close to Alex so Alex could hear her over the
noise.

“
What awful man?” Alex
asked.

“
Pershing,” Rebecca
said.

“
He said you were still
angry with him.”

“
He kidnapped you! The
moment he entered your life, you changed from the sweetest little
girl to all of this… boy stuff – martial arts, shooting arrows,
backpacking. And, really, look where it’s gotten you.”

Alex squinted at Rebecca. Rebecca gasped and
put her hand over her mouth.

“
I did it again?”

Alex nodded.

“
I’m sorry Alex. I do try
but it is hard for me. I think my natural state is… provincial as
John says. John told you about our conversation?”

Alex raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“
Well,” Rebecca kissed her
cheek then whispered in her ear, “sorry for being a
bitch.”

Alex gasped at her mother’s use of the word
bitch. Rebecca laughed at Alex’s response. Over her mother’s
shoulder, she saw Patrick and Steve Pershing laughing at something
Troy said.

“
What’s going on with Sam?”
Rebecca asked in Alex’s ear.

Alex shook her head.

“
I’ve seen them together,
Sami and that… Senator,” Rebecca said. “He’s running for office and
says he can’t do it without Sam. Of course, his wife is pregnant
again. He and his stupid woman have been in every magazine talking
about ‘keeping the fire hot’ in their loving marriage. Bah. I was
freshening up in the restroom of City Zen and Sami came in. She was
crying. When she saw me, she pretended everything was all right…
like Erin did… last year.”

“
That’s frightening,” Alex
said.

She and her mother fell silent remembering
Erin’s abusive relationship with her boyfriend Marcos. Erin barely
survived the last beating. Alex glanced at Erin to see her laughing
at Larry. Thank God, Erin was safe.

“
I thought it might be
Rasmussen,” Rebecca continued. “He is so dangerously attractive.
But Sami seems happy tonight.”

Alex looked over toward Raz. Feeling her
gaze, Raz’s grey eyes looked up. He smiled at Alex. Samantha was
sitting next to him talking to Max. Raz’s hand was draped on Sam’s
thigh.

“
No man should be that
attractive,” Rebecca whispered.

“
Not even that one,” Alex
said nodding her head toward the door as Ben came in.

“
Very funny,” Rebecca said
of Alex’s biological father. “I’m a happily married woman.” Rebecca
watched Ben laugh with Patrick and Steve. She turned back to Alex
and whispered. “He does get more handsome every year. But so does
Patrick. Ooh look, Helene. Gosh she’s gorgeous. Eighteen
now?”

Alex nodded.

Ben’s oldest daughter made a beeline through
the room to Alex. Speaking in rapid French, Helene explained that
she’d begged Ben to bring her. Please, please, please won’t Alex
take her to see universities… maybe Harvard, Yale. Please. Noticing
Alex’s mother, Helene fell into her polite French girl persona.