Kingdom of Lies (Imp Series Book 7) (32 page)

I grinned. “I tell Avarnak that I gave the magical gem to the dragon. He goes head-to-head with big-and-scaly. Then you open a gateway and shove the dragon and Avarnak through. With the gem and the Queen’s crown.”

“You gave that thing the crown?” Random Woman shrieked.

“You gave that thing the gem?” Gregory shouted.

“Of course I did. How else did you expect me to convince Avarnak to come here? It’s a brilliant plan, although if you prefer, you can just kill Avarnak when he arrives and the dragon can leave with the gem and the crown.”

“This is a complete assembly intercourse.”

It took me a second to realize what he meant. “Cluster fuck, babe. The term is cluster fuck.”

W
here is my gem?”

I took a step back from the fuming demon, mindful of the SWAT team still at the ready behind me, as well as a rather angry angel.

“Possession is eleven tenths of the law. You’re a greed demon; you should know that.” I dodged a laser beam that dug a small trench in the pavement. “You probably don’t want to do that. There’s an angel here negotiating with the dragon, but if you start tearing shit up, he’s liable to think you’re the bigger threat to humanity.”

“I’m not afraid of an angel,” he sneered. “I’ve already killed fifty.”

Twenty. Clearly the gem’s magical powers didn’t extend to math skills. “I’ve killed six. Or seven. I’m not sure; I’ve lost count. Trust me, you don’t want to mess with this particular angel.”

“Where is my gem?” Another laser beam etched a line across the first. Good thing I was quick on my feet or I would have been sliced in half.

“Safe. You get the gem, and I get half of Aaru. Deal?”

“No deal.”

I jumped again. The sidewalk was beginning to look like urban abstract art. “Fine. I’ll just use it on myself and kick your ass. Let’s see, there are three charges left? Four? That ought to be enough of a power increase to turn you into a smear on the pavement.”

He hesitated. My muscles tensed, ready to hop if he started up the eyeball weapons again. “Fine. I get the gem with all remaining charges. You get half of Aaru.”

Liar. He had no intention of giving me half of Aaru. He was planning to kill me as soon as he took care of the angels. I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to push him so far that he decided to kill me right now. Gregory was busy building the construct for the dragon’s gate, which required enough concentration that he wouldn’t be able to come save my sorry ass if I needed it.

Personally, I thought this temporary gate thing was a great idea. I was imagining we could use it to get rid of all sorts of bothersome creatures. Just pop open a gate right under where they were sitting, and bingo, it would be like washing them down the drain.

I’d been informed my idea would require the creature to hold very still, and be fairly compliant about being sucked through a gateway. Which gave me some doubts as to the effectiveness of my plan C.

And there was no plan D.

“Deal. The dragon has it. Go get it.”

Avarnak’s eyes nearly left his head. “I thought you were lying about that. There’s really a dragon? A real dragon?”

The guy wasn’t afraid of an archangel, but he was unsure about facing a dragon? What the fuck?

“Yeah. A real dragon. You might want to go get the gem before the angel sends him back.”

The demon snarled. “You stupid fucking imp. I’m not giving you half of Aaru. In fact, I’m going to kill you once I get the gem back. Which means you have about five minutes to get the hell out here, because if I see you again, you’re dead.”

I restrained myself from rolling my eyes and scurried behind a light pole, as if I were terrified. As soon as he was inside the front door of the museum, I hustled around the side where Gregory stood in what appeared to be a meditative trance. The priest was off to one side, clasping his hands and looking at the angel in mute adoration. Random Woman was on the other side, holding a colored tri-fold map of the museum. Damn. If I’d have known she had that, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time tromping through the ceramics exhibits earlier.

“He’s in,” I told Gregory. “Hurry up and open the gate. Just make sure it’s big enough for the dragon and Avarnak too.”

Random Woman and the priest both shushed me. I’m sure the angel needed to concentrate, but he also needed to know we were on a tight timeline.

I heard a roar followed by the sound of an explosion and high-pitched screams. The priest and Random Woman both took off, followed by the entirety of the SWAT team and uniformed officers. I turned to face the museum, thinking the worst.

The dragon or the demon, I wasn’t sure which, had blown away half the front wall of the museum, which left the second story partially collapsed and the roof listing dangerously to the side. It was hard to tell what was going on, with fire and lasers the only visible thing in the dust-filled air. Gregory stood, unmoving. I hoped he could adjust the gate about fifty feet forward, otherwise the only thing that was going to disappear was the museum and its contents.

“They’re on the move,” I shouted at the angel. Then I ran, trying to get a better view to see what was going on and hopefully get the pair of them back in place.

The light show continued with the added danger of trees and park benches being flung about. I could make out the dragon’s shape rolling on the ground with what appeared to be a giant crocodile/lion attacking it.

Whoa. Avarnak had certainly gotten more than laser beam eyes when he’d used the gem on himself. Careful not to get crushed by flying trees, I watched the demon wrestling the dragon, one of his grubby little clawed hands trying to pry the gem from where the dragon had imbedded it into his skin. A light flared behind them, and I stomped in frustration. The gate. The motherfucking gate that neither of them were going to use.

I might get burned—I would most likely get lasered in half—but I was going to have to throw myself in the middle of this mess and get both the demon and the dragon through the gate.

The key was the gem. I revealed my wings and took flight, soaring upward to get a dust-free view. The dragon had placed the gem between his eyes, right next to the crown that inexplicably still remained on his head. I locked in on my target, tucked my wings to my sides, and shot like an arrow toward the dragon’s head.

Unfortunately, both the demon and the dragon were still locked in combat, and instead of nailing the dragon right in the face, I hit Avarnak.

Plan H. Or maybe Q.

The demon thrashed about like the half-crocodile he was while I wrapped my arms tight around his toothy snout and hung on. “The gate,” I shouted to the dragon. “You need to go through the gate as we agreed upon, or the deal is off.”

The dragon blinked, recoiling at the sight of me bronco-busting a crocodile/lion demon. “He tried to steal my—“

“I got him. Go, go!” I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold on, and plan R required some specific timing.

“Nine months,” the dragon reminded me. “And when I return, I want to hear the story of violent romance.”

“Yes, yes. Hurry before the gate closes.” I wasn’t sure how much longer Gregory could hold it open.

The dragon bounded away. Avarnak tried to follow, but I spread my wings and managed to slow him down. Five, four, three, two, one. I released the demon and he fell forward, rolling into the museum via the gaping hole and through the gate.

I ran toward Gregory. “Close it. Close it, close it, close it!” Just in case he didn’t hear me, I tackled him, knocking him to the grass.

His arms came around me, and I buried my face against him. We’d done it. Dragon gone for nine months, which hopefully would be long enough for repairs to be completed on the museum, and Avarnak out of our hair. I gave him two weeks before the dragons killed him.

“Cockroach, you seem to be very fond of shoving your enemies through gateways for other’s to deal with.”

Yep. First Bencul, and now Avarnak. “Next asshole is going to go to Aarie for the brownies to pick apart.” I got up and turned to look at the museum. Yeah, the front half was probably beyond repair, and there had been lots of windows broken. I’m sure several of the exhibits didn’t survive the dragon either. All in all, it wasn’t too bad. Nine months tops.

As I watched, the middle section of the museum exploded in a spray of rock and metal. The roof groaned and sagged further until the whole museum looked like someone had melted the right half of the building.

“Did you do that?” I asked Gregory.

“No.”

Not a reassuring tone of voice, but before I had a chance to question him further, a voice boomed out from the museum rubble.

“Az, you motherfucking, cocksucking, worthless, deceiving bitch of an imp. I am going to kill you.”

Avarnak. Damn my lousy luck.

H
ad the demon not gone through the gateway? I backed up until I was pressed against Gregory, hoping the angel had a plan Z. He grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me behind him, which seemed like the beginning of a really solid plan to me.

“Stay back. Stay back and let us handle this.”

Us? I looked around at the busted museum, uprooted trees and overturned park benches. All the humans had fled. Was he going to do that aspect thing and divide himself into all sorts of Gregory clones, because from the way he’d explained it, he still only had the cumulative power of one archangel when he did that.

“Where is it? Where is it, you bitch?” Avarnak was looking for me, holding the alexandrite aloft in one of his reptile hands.

“Where’s what?” Gregory asked me. “And why isn’t he stronger? I’m getting the same power reading off his energy as I did before I opened the gateway. Is the gem used up?”

“No, at least I don’t think so. It’s back at my house, and I didn’t know how to check how many charges remained.”

Gregory turned to face me. “It’s back at your house? Then what’s he got in his hand?”

“A five-carat alexandrite with a doppelganger spell. Well, it used to have a doppelganger spell, but I used it the other day, just for kicks. You have no idea how much fun two of me are. I’ve got to get another one of those.”

Gregory stared at me and made a choking noise.

“What?” I asked. “You don’t seriously think we only have one big-ass alexandrite in all of Hel, do you? That one’s a little more purple than the power-level one, but most demons wouldn’t notice.”

The angel grabbed me and kissed me. “You, Cockroach, are a genius.”

“Yeah, except Avarnak didn’t go through the gate as planned, or he managed to come back before you closed it. Either way, he’s over there smashing up a pub. We better go kill him.”

“No,” the angel moved me behind one of the few remaining trees and pushed me to the ground. “You stay here while we handle this.”

There was that fucking ‘we’ again. I didn’t argue, since I really didn’t want to be impaled to the ground by my wings or skewered with dragonglass again. Gregory revealed his wings, all six of them in their cream and grey glory, and brought forth his sword. He shimmered, glowing with light that nearly blinded me as he took to the sky. Suddenly popping sounded in the air, and angels appeared, wings outstretched as they flew toward the demon.

This fucking rocked. The war happened over two-and-a-half-million years ago, and most of the ancients didn’t go into poetic detail about the battles. True, this was just one demon against a dozen Grigori, but it was as close as I’d ever get to a reenactment.

I moved away from the tree to a better vantage point and regretted that I didn’t have any popcorn handy. This was going to be epic. And short. Twelve highly skilled enforcer angels who had been killing demons for their century of service against one powerful, yet incredibly stupid, greed demon. Five seconds. I was willing to lay a bet on it.

I would have lost that bet. Avarnak heard the beat of wings and spun about, his laser eyes working overtime. The angels dodged the shots, twisting acrobatically in the air. Fireballs flew from his hands, singing the tips of a few Grigoris’ wings. Still they advanced, Gregory at the forefront.

The angel’s sword was like a lance as he dove toward the demon. Avarnak raised a hand, and the sword glanced off an invisible wall. Gregory spun midair, barely missing a collision. Other angels weren’t so lucky. Five smashed into the barrier, bouncing off and skidding across the ground. Avarnak took advantage of their position to slice them with lasers, tearing through flesh and delicate wings with the beams.

Not good. Gregory was down to seven angels, none of whom could get through the barrier. I wasn’t sure how the demon was managing to launch an attack through a wall that the angels couldn’t penetrate, but it was clear I had to do something.

Actually, under normal circumstances, I probably would have sat back and waited until Gregory was down to one or two helpers, but I’d noticed one of the angels left standing, or flying, was Eloa. There was no way I was letting
her
fight beside my man while I hid behind a tree, so I decided to be brave and risk impalement.

I clearly couldn’t go through a barrier that repelled Gregory’s sword, so I did the imp thing and went around to the back door. Of the pub.

The demon had done some serious damage to the establishment. Not that I blamed him. It was a pub, the first place to look when you were trying to track down a lying imp that had nearly gotten you trapped in another land with a bunch of dragons over a gem that was just a gem. Still, I mourned a bit for the back door barely hanging on by one hinge, the oak bar stools that now resembled kindling, the dented kegs leaking ale all over the floor.

I had to climb over the remains of several tables and half the bar, then pick my way through broken bottles of liquor on my way to the front. Huge glass windows had been blown to pieces, some of them fused together from the heat. Out front stood the demon, his scaled tail twitching as he pivoted to launch another attack.

The battle was even more dramatic from this perspective. All I needed was 3D glasses, and it would have seemed like those angels were coming right for me. I watched for a few seconds, rather pleased when a fireball knocked Eloa out of the sky and into the side of an abandoned police car.