Jaded (The Butterfly Memoirs) (23 page)

She was gargling with mouthwash by the time I reached the bathroom to take a leak. I grinned, taking in the moment; both of us naked in the bathroom taking care of nature’s necessities.

I washed my hands before angling in for another kiss.

She stopped me with a hand on my chest. “Oh no, I swished, you brush.”

“It’s like that?”

“Oh yeah. Once I get fresh, you have to, too.” She ran water in the shower, reached past me for the body wash I’d given her, winked, and stepped in. The smell of jasmine flowers permeated the air bringing memories of last night to mind. I wanted her again. I would never stop wanting her.

My teeth brushed in record time, I walked over and hauled the shower curtain back. The sight of her wet skin, the fragrant soap running over every curve and between every valley of her body forced me to forget about bathing.

“I suggest we conserve water and—”

Yasmine dragged me into the shower.

We’d get clean….eventually.

***

A wedding date had been set by the time we left my place. Yasmine was determined to make our day a big event. She’d always dreamed of being a June bride, but it was already late May. There wouldn’t be enough time to plan for what she wanted. We settled on November, right in time for Thanksgiving. It would give the holiday a whole new meaning.

As much as I wanted her to move in, we decided it was best she stay at my mother’s awhile longer. At least I didn’t have to wait until Friday night to be with her. She would stay over anytime she wanted, or when I convinced her to.

Once we told my mother the good news, she would tell her parents. I’d seen them from a distance the night of her friend’s wedding but never officially met them. She assured me they would fall in love with me the moment we met. Then there was her younger brother, Brandon, who she informed me thought no man would ever be good enough for his sister.

Yasmine, being an avid planner, decided to have a big dinner at our place on Sunday for our families to meet. The idea of having an extended family was exciting. Since my family lived in Maryland, it would be great to have family nearby.

I parked in my mother’s driveway behind Yasmine. She got out of her car and waited for me. We walked hand-in-hand to the front door. Since she didn’t return last night, I expected my mother to open the door with a big smile on her face.

Yasmine rang the doorbell to announce our arrival, then opened the door with her key.

The house was silent and devoid of the smell of fresh coffee.

“Hello? Mom?”

There was no reply.

I walked past the living room; the TV was off. I met Yasmine in the kitchen. There was no sign of recently used dishes. In fact, everything was the same as when I had left the night before.

Yasmine’s expression mirrored my own. “She didn’t say she had plans to leave today.”

“I know. None of her friends were supposed to come by. I’m sure she would have told us if she had a change of plans. She always does.”

I picked up my pace, checked each room, and called her name. Yasmine was right behind me.

We reached the end of the hall; my mother’s bedroom door was closed. I paused for half a second and peered over my shoulder. Yasmine nodded and put a hand on my shoulder. I knocked softly, not wanting to scare her if she were still asleep.

We waited; no reply. I swallowed hard and twisted the knob. “Mom?” Her bed was empty, the sheets in disarray, but she wasn’t there. I spied the light on in her bathroom, took two steps towards the door, and froze.

My mother lay on the floor, her eyes closed.

My legs were lead weights. My worst nightmare had come true. I stared at my mother and willed back time.

“Oh no…Ms. Belinda?” Yasmine brushed past me into the bathroom. She was on the floor in seconds, testing my mother’s pulse. “Wake up…Zack, she’s breathing! Dial nine-one-one!”

Everything happened in slow motion. I walked to the door; phone in hand, unable to dial, and dropped to my knees. My mother appeared so fragile. She lay on the cold floor, eyes fluttering, and her breath labored.

“Oh God…Mom…,” I ran a hand over her face. There didn’t appear to be any blood so she couldn’t have hit her head.

“Zack…” Her eyes opened, but her voice was a whisper.

“Mom…”

I was vaguely aware of Yasmine when she removed the phone from my hand.

“What happened?” I angled my body on the floor next to her and gently lifted her head into my lap. Yasmine left the bathroom and returned with a throw blanket from the bed.

“Don’t try to move her, she may have a broken hip,” Yasmine said, unable to disguise the worry in her voice even though she held it together while I reverted to the emotional state of an eight-year-old. “The EMTs are on the way, Ms. Belinda. Hold on, okay?”

My mother managed a weak smile. “Thank you.” Her eyes closed for a moment; when they opened again, she studied our faces. “I’m okay, don’t worry.”

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here last night. How long were you on the floor?” Yasmine asked.

A wave of guilt plagued me. Damn. I should have called when Yasmine suggested. If she didn’t answer, we would have dressed and been here in no time. This was my fault. If I hadn’t been selfish and …damn.

“The two of you…were together last night?”

“Yes.” My throat tightened from the admission. “Mom, I should have—”

A slow wave of her hand silenced me. “No…no, it’s okay.” Her eyes traveled over to where Yasmine’s hand rested on her arm. “Oh…,” she gasped as tears sprung from her eyes.

Yasmine looked at the ring on her hand. “You were right.” She smiled, her eyes now wet. “I do love him.”

My mom reached for my hand that sat on her shoulder, her grip weak. I tried to hide my fear. “We’re getting married.” Words I’d been excited about moments before were strangled in my throat.

How could I be excited about marriage when my mother lay on the bathroom floor?

“Mom, how long have you been like this?”

“Don’t worry about it, Zachariah. I just lost my balance and fell, that’s all. I have old joints so it doesn’t take much to break a frail bone. And before you say it, I should have been wearing the medical alert necklace.”

I hadn’t realized it was missing. I opened my mouth to speak, but she’d closed her eyes again and grimaced.

“Did the paramedics say how long it would be before they get here?” I asked.

“No, but I’ll go stand outside so I can direct them in.” Yasmine patted my mom’s hand. “I won’t be gone long.” She kissed her cheek before walking out of the bathroom.

As we waited, I noticed pills were scattered across the floor. I squinted to read the label of the empty bottle near the toilet. I knew she still took medication despite the cancer being in remission, but the prescription wasn’t one I recognized. I would have questioned her, but didn’t want to disturb her rest, she’d been through enough.

But the moment we arrived at the hospital, I would contact her doctor and find out what was going on.

I cursed. This was why I didn’t want the job so far away from home. Even with Yasmine living here, it wasn’t enough. The moment my mother needed us, we failed.

Never again. No matter what else went on in my life.

Discovering what was going on with my mother’s health and making sure she had everything she needed would take precedence.

I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost her.

I damn sure was not about to find out.

Chapter 29

“What the hell is taking so long? Don’t they understand what ‘emergency’ means?” Zack ground out, wearing a hole in the floor of the small room where his mother was being held in at the hospital.

I glanced over at Ms. Belinda. She was in pain, but resting as much as she could. We’d been at the hospital for over an hour. The paramedics explained to the staff on hand about the suspected hip fracture. We were awaiting a gurney to take her to x-ray to confirm the extent of the damage.

“Baby, calm down.” I walked over to where Zack stood glaring out of the curtain separating the bed from the one next to us and the nurses’ station.

“Why? They’ve done no more than check her vitals. She needs something for pain.” He shook his head, clearly unsatisfied. “Mom, I’m going to go find someone. This isn’t right.”

“Zack, wait…” He ignored me and kept going.

I’d never seen him this upset before. I empathized because I felt the same way. Storming around the hospital wasn’t going to make things move any faster. Since she wasn’t bleeding or experiencing heart or lung problems, an x-ray for the possibility of a broken hip was not a priority.

“Let him go,” Ms. Belinda murmured.

I walked over to where she lay. Her coloring was way off. She appeared paler than usual. “Can I get you anything? Would you like some water?”

Her head dipped low. “No, sweetie, there’s nothing you can do.” Her eyes opened.

“I feel so awful. I wish I had come home last night.” Unable to keep my tears inside, I let them fall.

To my surprise, a light laugh emerged from her. “No you don’t. You were with the man you love. I don’t fault either of you for following your heart. In fact, it makes me happy to know you did.” She patted the bed next to her.

I sat slowly, not wanting to jostle the bed. She reached for my hand.

“You know, I’ve viewed you as a daughter since the day we met. I knew you were the one for my son.”

I forced out a laugh. “That doesn’t surprise me one bit. You were singing his virtues the moment we kicked him out of the room.”

“Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” A small smile lit the corners of her pained face.

“Yes, ma’am, you did. I’m glad to be marrying him. And now I’m gaining the world’s best mother-in-law.”

Those words brought sadness to her face.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about. Do me a favor, do you see Zachariah anywhere?”

Confused, I slid off the bed and peeked into the hall. “No.”

“Good. We only have a few minutes and what I have to say is for you alone. I need you to promise me what I’m about to tell you stays between us.”

My eyebrows creased. “Okay…”

She studied me for a moment. “I’m serious, Yasmine. What I’m about to tell you, no one knows, not even my son. I need it to stay that way. Do you understand?”

Nervous, I nodded. “Yes, ma’am, I promise.”

She watched me for a moment longer then reached for my hand again. “I’m dying.”

I blinked. “
What
?”

“The cancer metastasized. I’ve already had several second opinions. There’s nothing they can do. No amount of chemo is going to stop it. It’s in my bones; that’s why I broke my hip. Well, if it’s not broken, it’s never going to fully heal.” She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as if hit by another wave of pain.

“Are you…are you sure? There’s nothing—”

“No, baby. My doctor said I only have a short time left. Six months to be exact.”

“Six months? Oh my god…” Tears fell uncontrollably. I calculated the time; it fell right around the time Zack and I were planning to wed.

“That was three months ago.”

I closed my eyes and dropped my head to my chest. “Three months?” I whispered.

“Yes, three months.” She squeezed my hand.

I didn’t know what else to say. One of the brightest, most beautiful women ever to grace my life was dying right in front of me. I’d never been in a situation like this before. No one in my family had ever dealt with such a debilitating illness, much less the loss of a family member, since I was born.

A part of me wished this were a test to see if I’d run like Melissa. I forced my eyes open and studied Ms. Belinda’s face. Her words were true. An untold sadness haunted her eyes. All at once, I imagined the years she should have ahead of her disappear. Our wedding, grandkids…anything else she could possibly have hoped for snatched away.

Zack.

In his mind, his mother’s illness was still in remission.

“Ms. Belinda—”

“Call me mom, no need for formality.”

“Mom,” my throat tightened. “Why don’t you tell him? He needs to know.”

She sighed heavily. “When I was diagnosed, Zachariah dropped everything in his life to take care of me. I appreciated it because I needed him; there was no one else. But he nearly lost himself because he sacrificed everything to take care of me. I’ve lived my life. I’ve had love, I’ve had sorrow. I’ve had a family and a chance to be happy. The only thing Zachariah has seen is the pain of losing his father, my illness, and a woman who didn’t love him. If he finds out, he’ll drop everything again to be by my side. I don’t want that.

She paused, closed her eyes, and wiped a tear. “I want my son to know those things, Yasmine. I need to leave this earth knowing my son is in love with a woman who loves and supports him.” Her eyes opened and she focused on me. “You can be those things for him. That’s why I’m confiding in you. When I go, he won’t be expecting it. It’s going to tear him apart. I saw the way you handled the situation today. My son nearly lost it. You took charge and kept him level headed. I need you to prepare to do that again. His reaction today is nothing like what it will be when I’m gone. I need you to please, please, keep this between us. It’s not only for his wellbeing, but for yours, as well. I don’t want him to destroy what you two have by pushing you away. I know my son. If he finds out now, that’s exactly what he will do, Yasmine. You need him as much as he needs you.”

“Ms. Belinda…Mom, I’m not Melissa. I would never leave him. I would be here for both of you. You know that, don’t you?”

“Sweetheart, I don’t doubt that for a moment, but he may not see things that way. That’s a chance I don’t want to take. Do you?”

Before I could respond, Zack entered the room with a nurse in tow.

“She’s in a lot of pain. We’ve been here over an hour and no one has done a thing about it.” Concern and aggravation were in his voice, as well as determination his mother’s health be addressed.

I stepped aside as the nurse reviewed her chart. “Her doctor is being notified before anything else is done. I’ll find out where that stands.” She addressed Ms. Belinda. “How are you doing?”