In Your Honor (35 page)

“
What are you doing out
here?” she asked softly, her lips grazing his ear. Electricity shot
through him from her lips' point of contact straight to his
gut.

He always had two reactions to her
closeness. He was instantly ready for anything and yet completely
relaxed. He pulled her around in front of him onto his lap, she
rested her head on his shoulder, and he let out a contented
sigh.

“
I can't believe the week
is already over,” he said heavily.

“
I know, it went fast,”
she sighed against him.

“
The fire almost ready?”
he asked. The guys had started building a fire in the pit on the
patio out back every night. It was a great way to wind down at the
end of the day. Kip had brought out the guitar and he and Lucy
would pass it back and forth, leading the group in song.

“
Yeah, they sent me to
come and find you.”

“
I don't know if I'm ready
to be without you yet,” he confessed. They had grown close over the
week. Closer than he thought possible. He was so wrapped up in her,
he could hardly think straight.

“
I know what you mean.”
Hearing her reciprocate his own feelings caused him to hold her a
little tighter.

“
I suppose we better get
downstairs,” he said after a few more minutes.

Lucy fit into his life perfectly. She got
along with his friends, which wasn't easy for anyone. She tolerated
Harmony, she was always up for an adventure, and she completely
adored and trusted him. He was starting to think that she needed to
stick around. Permanently.

The songs and talking went way too late that
night; everyone knew that when morning came they'd have to go back
to real life. Each of his friends hugged her, saying their goodbyes
now since she would have to leave right away in the morning.

When Shane came out of the bathroom after
his shower, she was sitting up in bed waiting for him. He walked
towards her slowly, their last kiss goodnight looming before him.
He sat on the edge of the bed and tried to take her all in.

Her dark eyes, her soft smile, the curve of
her neck, the way she moved as she crawled across the bed towards
him. She stopped very near his face, reaching up to push his hair
back.

“
I don't want you to sleep
on the couch tonight,” she whispered, and Shane felt his heart kick
into overdrive. He didn't respond; instead he waited for her to
finish so he didn't jump to any conclusions.

“
Do you think that would
be okay? If you slept here, without doing anything?” She watched
him earnestly, her eyes reflecting the purity of her question.
“It's our last night,” she tried to explain when he didn't answer
right away. “I... call me a hopeless romantic, but I would really
like to wake up in your arms.”

Shane pressed his lips together. He wanted
that too. He took a deep breath and nodded.

“
Okay, but no funny
business,” he leveled at her seriously. More for his own benefit
than hers.

“
Okay,” she whispered,
trying to hide her smile.

He stroked her cheek with the pad of his
thumb and she closed her eyes. He caught her bottom lip in his
mouth and delighted at her sudden intake of air. He usually kissed
her slowly, and he'd caught her off guard with his impulsiveness.
He framed her face with both hands, determined not to let the kiss
get too heated before crawling under the covers with her. But he
was a fool to think that any kiss with Lucy could be less than
perfect.

He finally pulled away and gazed at her
flushed face and slightly puffy lips. Her eyes fluttered open and
she smiled at him shyly. His response was to shake his head and
take a deep breath. “I'm gonna miss the hell out of those
kisses.”

Her smile widened and she pulled the covers
down, beckoning him to join her. She snuggled against his side and
he wrapped both arms around her. He wouldn't be getting any sleep
tonight, he could already tell.

He looked down at her peaceful expression.
That was all right, it was totally worth it.

The sun was hot, that went without saying.
But Blake had still muttered it numerous times throughout the
morning. He came down off the ladder for the final time that day
and wiped the sweat off his face with his arm.

He was filthy, covered in roofing tar and
crap from the gutters. But he was happy he could help his mama out
so she didn't have to hire someone this year. And it felt good to
do something physical.

After being out at Lucy's grandparents'
house a couple of days ago, he began avoiding any more emotionally
jarring journeys around town. He thought he had been ready. Now, he
wasn't so sure. So he kept busy doing chores around Mama's
house.

She must have suspected him of not being
forthright with her when she asked how it went, because she had
been loading him up with as much manual labor as she could find.
That had been her tactic for getting him to come clean when he was
a kid.

He wanted to believe that he had dealt with
the things he needed to. Had faced them, and had come out the other
side more or less intact.

So why did he still feel so...
unfinished?

“
You done already?” she asked as she
handed him a glass of iced tea.

“
Yup,” he nodded, taking a long
drink.

“
Good job.” She took the glass away
from him when he was finished and raised an eyebrow. It was the
look that only mama's can give to their boys. “Triny Newton called.
Said he has some things that need movin' and was wondering if you
were still around.”

Blake avoided her eyes. “I can head over
there in a bit.”

“
You never mentioned seein' him. Weird
how that didn't come up.”

“
Must have slipped my mind.” His eyes
flicked up to hers, and he could tell she wasn't buying
it.

“
You want things to be different,
Blake, you're gonna have to
do
somethin' different.” She was cross and probably
fed up with his repetitive avoidance.

“
I know, Mama.” He rubbed
an arm across the sweat on his face, the dirt smearing across his
skin, then readjusted his ball cap. “I didn't know what to say. How
do you say, 'Man, I've screwed everything up. That was fun to
relive'?”

“
Don't get glib with me,
mister,” she replied, giving him the patented Mama-Glare. “You
start comin' clean about stuff and you'll find you have a lot less
baggage to carry around.”

He sighed and looked at the ground. She was
right. For some reason he never let it all out, he kept packing it
down. And it was getting heavier and heavier to carry.

“
Now get your butt over to
Triny's and work until you puke. Be home for supper and expect to
start tellin' me the truth.” She snapped her fingers at him and he
had to hold back a smile. Oh, he had missed his mama.

On the ride over he wrestled with his
internal thoughts. He had come home to settle things. To fix what
needed fixing. Why was he still avoiding it, then?

Mama was right, he needed to start being
honest. With everyone.

Triny was waiting for him on the porch.
Blake lowered the kickstand and dismounted the bike slowly. He
wondered if Triny and his mama had talked, compared notes. Plotted
his untimely demise. Probably.

“
Mama said you need help moving
somethin'?” He looked into the weathered face of the man who had
acted as a surrogate father to him during his most explosive and
angst-filled years. How could he ever make up for abandoning him
and his daughter?

“
Yeah, some young bulls got out and
they're mixed up with my heifers.”

Blake's eyes widened. He hadn't ridden a
horse in a very long time. This was a bad idea.

“
I don't know, Triny,” he said,
already shaking his head. “Isn't there someone who usually helps
you out with this?”

“
C'mon, Blake.” Triny was already
striding towards the barn. “I'll give you my best cutting horse. It
shouldn't take you too much time at all.”

Blake's internal guilt told him he at least
owed Triny this favor, but he was afraid his abilities might not be
up to the task.

“
I could really screw this up, Triny,”
Blake tried again, but the older man was leading two horses from
the barn, already saddled.

“
This is Shirley,” he said, handing
the reins over along with a pair of old gloves. “She's my best
girl, you'll hardly have to do any work at all.”

Shirley was a gorgeous blue roan quarter
horse. Blake couldn't stop himself from reaching out and touching
her soft muzzle. She pushed into his hand, taking deep breaths of
his scent. He reached up and rubbed the white star that stood out
on her dark coat. Her large eyes found his, and he couldn't help
but wonder if the animal could read his thoughts. Did she see the
facade he was putting on? Could she sense his inner turmoil and
self-doubt?

She pushed into his shoulder with her muzzle
and then stomped a foot impatiently. He walked around to her side
to mount up, barely thinking about it. “All right, all right, I
hear ya,” he murmured to the mare, and she humphed in
agreement.

Triny's ride was a beautiful red dun he
called Laverne. The man easily settled into the saddle, and Blake
suspected that this had all been prearranged. Mama and her
tricks.

When Blake's rear end connected with the
saddle, a tidal wave of memories washed over him. Some things you
never forget, and how to ride a horse is one of them. He was a
rocker through and through, but he had been raised a country boy.
Triny had never seemed to mind that his attire didn't quite match
the cowboy get-up. Even now, Blake felt fairly comfortable in his
ripped-up jeans, a seriously faded Germs t-shirt and his black
motorcycle boots—though they probably weren't the best for riding
horses.

Triny kicked his mount into a trot and Blake
followed. He looked down at the reins in his hands, and marveled at
how everything seeming so natural. “Like riding a bike,” he
muttered, pulling his ball cap lower over his eyes. Shirley's ears
swiveled back, listening to him, and he smiled.

Triny hadn't lied about Shirley. As soon as
they came upon the herd and identified the two young bulls, Shirley
did all the work. Blake simply held on. It was exhilarating being
on top of such a powerful animal again. The adrenaline pounded
through his veins and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

It was a different kind of a day for Blake.
Having Triny tell him, guide him, and remind him, Blake thought of
his own father. The things they had done when he was small, before
the accident. The things he did with Triny right up until he'd hit
self-destruct on his life here.

When they got back to the barn, Blake helped
take care of their mounts without being asked. He felt the ragged
edges of his soul smooth out slightly the longer he stroked
Shirley's slate-colored coat. She nuzzled his shoulder and he
scratched under her forelock.

“
You are gorgeous, you know that?”
Blake murmured, and Shirley agreed with him.

“
She likes you,” Triny observed from
the doorway.

“
She's a sweetheart.” Blake smiled at
the horse, touching the white star on her face.

“
Your daddy had a horse like that
one,” Triny remarked casually.

“
We didn't have horses,” Blake
corrected over his shoulder.

“
No,
you
didn't. But your daddy did. He
had a breathtaking beauty of a cutting horse when he met your mama.
Blue roan, like Shirley. But your mama had some complications when
she was pregnant with you. The medical bills were too much and your
daddy had to sell his horse. Got a good price too, from what I
heard.”

Blake stared into Shirley's expressive eyes,
thanking her silently for the wonderful day. She lipped at his
shirt sleeve gently in playful response. What a flirt.

“
How do you know all
this?” Blake patted Shirley one last time before walking toward
Triny.

“
I know all kinds of
things.” Triny chuckled and turned to head back to the house. Blake
frowned at the man's retreating back. If there were stories about
his dad that he hadn't heard, he wanted to change that.

“
What else do you know?”
he asked, catching up and trying to get Triny to look him in the
eye.

“
The most important thing
to your daddy was taking care of his family.” Triny spoke slowly,
focusing on his steps. “He took that job as a lineman because no
one else was hiring and he needed to pay the bills.”

Blake swallowed hard. He had struggled with
the reason for his father’s death for years. He saw it as him being
irresponsible and dangerous. And wasn't he? Couldn't he have done
something different?

“
What do you mean, no one
was hiring?”

“
I mean, there weren't any
jobs.” Triny rubbed his chin, as if the details made him
uncomfortable. How was it that Triny knew more about this than
Blake? How come his mama had never said anything about
this?

“
Your mama was already
waitressing and working weekends at the library. Your daddy got
offered the job as a lineman and he jumped on it. The pay was good,
the work was dangerous. He got a generous life insurance policy,
and that's how your mama was able to pay for the house and the
funeral when it all went to shit.”