If Not For You (40 page)

I have to say I was so not impressed, if you’ve seen one crumpled building you’ve seen them all. I sat on a large block and drank down the last of my water, Gage scooted me over some to join me, “Sweetheart, I’ve had enough,” he puffed out.

“Me too, let’s get outta here,” I said, pulling Gage to his feet.

Standing amongst the ruins Gage’s phone suddenly went off startling us both. “What the hell?” Gage said, pulling it from his pocket. He eyed the screen and then me with an acid look, “It’s your father.”

I thought for a moment and then shrugged, “Don’t answer it.”

Gage shook his head, “I can’t not answer he’ll go nuts,” he said, and putting it to his ear, “hello?”

He stood listening. I heard my father’s rage coming through the phone as Gage stood and listened answering in bits and pieces. “Yes sir…Yes, sorry sir…yes she is in my sight…yes…no sir…I do understand…I didn’t mean…yes sir…Goodbye.” Gage contemplated the clouds up in the sky to clear his anger away and blew out a deep breath before pocketing the phone.

I waited for several seconds and then wove my fingers into his, “What was that about?”

“I didn’t check in last night,” he said, grinning and pulling me close, “I was busy, remember?”

“Guess that means you’re on his shit list?” I stroked the stubble on his chin. “Been there, done that. My poor baby. Is Daddy not happy with your performance?”

“As long as you’re happy with it, screw your father,” he said, as we moved on with the tour. “Seriously though, I better make sure I check in more. Man he’s pissed at me, ripped me a new one.”

I reached back and slid my index finger up the crack of his ass. “Right about here?” I asked and he squirmed away from my invasion glaring.

“Hey! Stay outta there,” he scolded, “there are parts of this bod you don’t get to play with unless I say-so, those are the rules.”

I leaned in until I was close to his ear, “Rules are meant to be broken, darling,” I whispered, with a leering smile. “I hear that if a certain
interior
gland is stimulated it can give a man a mind-blowing orgasm.”

He leaned in and whispered, “All’s fair baby.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning you go there,” he challenged, “I go there.” He raised his brows and we continued on, a devious smile crossing my lips.

***

“See that park over there?” I pointed. “Let’s get lunch and spend the afternoon doing absolutely nothing.”

He looked around, “Sure why not? Nothing sounds perfect to me. Let’s find food and come back.”

At a tiny bakery just down the street we ordered Tiropita, a breaded cheese that kind of looked like a cheese pie, bottled water and baklava of course, we had to give that a whirl. We sat in the shade of a cypress enjoying our meal.

I lay back with my fingers woven with Gages’ looked up into the tree and thought about a life without him and drew a blank. How was I going to go on if he wasn’t in my life? I couldn’t fathom the idea. My heart shattered in my chest with sharp piercing jabs, knowing I would soon find out. I could only hope that he may find happiness in someone else’s arms, one day.

Bringing me out of my thoughts Gage asked, “Did you know that the cypress tree is a symbol of Artemis?” I shook my head no. “She’s the Greek goddess of the hunt, young girls and the moon.”

“How did you get to be so smart?” I asked, trying to remove myself from the funk I was under.

Gage rolled into his side. “I read. When I was in prison that’s basically all I did.” He rolled back onto his back. “I studied and I read everything I could get my hands on.”

“Is prison as horrible as I imagine?” I asked, staring at the sky as did he.

“Worse.”

“Were you scared?”

“Scared? Not really. I got along pretty well with everyone, kept to myself most times.” He sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees. “At night it was hard. I’d have to say it was unnerving at night, too quiet. No one slept, you kept one eye open. Things happened at night, guys were there at lights out and gone the next morning.”

“Oh my God,” I sat up to look at him, “it must have been hell for you.”

He put his arm over my shoulder. “Let’s read your dirty book,” Gage laughed, he was done with the need for dredging up the past and I was glad to move on.

“How do know I have it with me?” I asked, as he opened my backpack, reached in pulling it out.

“Do you go anywhere without it?” he asked, a devious look in his eye.

I swatted at his arm, “Nope.”

He looked at the book’s cover. “Jasinda Wilder eh? She sounds hot.”

“She a hot little red head,” I told him. “A very
married
hot little red head,” I added.

“That’s too bad, I like red heads,” he teased and then looked at my not so amused face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that, I was just kidding.”

I nudged his shoulder with mine and smiled, “Calm your shit Romeo. I know what you were getting at.”

With our backpacks acting as pillows we lay back and Gage started to read. “By the way,” I spanned through the book, “the good parts are highlighted.” And Gage grinned.

***

The air was thick with smog, it was so busy and the traffic worked so hard against us. Once we left the pedestrian only areas, we didn’t dare try to cross the street without a designated crossing.

We weren’t too far from the appointed meet spot to catch our bus back to the ship when I saw a familiar face through the crowd. “Gage, isn’t that John?” I pointed ahead.

He peered past the bus, a head taller than most, his view unimpeded. “I’m not sure, what the hell would he be doing in Greece?” Gage wondered and I shrugged my shoulders.

“I lost sight of him, can you still see?” I asked, on tip toe.

Surely my mind was playing tricks with me, he should be in jail I thought. Even if he wasn’t arrested, he should still be in the States. I had such mixed feelings, such mistrust. Could he explain himself back into my graces? I worried my lip as I thought hoping I wouldn’t see him again and this was all a case of mistaken identity. They say that everyone has a twin out there, maybe I just saw John’s.

Gage shook his head, “Lost him,” he tightened his grip on my hand as we barged on, “maybe we’re seeing things, the smog is pretty heavy,” Gage laughed.

We sat on the packed bus and waited, fanning ourselves, while last minute passengers boarded and got settled. I was looking out the window at the throngs of people bustling along the streets and there he was again. This time I had no doubt it was him when he turned in my direction and waved once he spotted me.

I waved back and faked a happy to see you smile. I wasn’t sure whether I should be leery or delighted to see my former friend. After all it was still unclear as to his part in the thefts. “He’s coming this way,” I said, looking to the front of the bus as he emerged.

“Oh shit,” I said, as John got closer.

“I ratted out his brother. Don’t you think he’ll be pissed?” Gage asked, standing as John closed in. “John, how are you?”

He shook Gage’s hand and leaned over to give me a hug. “I’m good Gage. Honey, it’s great to see you.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked, rather rude, my mixed emotions getting the better of me. “Sorry that didn’t come out very nice, I’m just surprised to see you.”

“Sit.” Gage said, and John squeezed into the seat between us.

“This is cozy,” John said, trying to compress his body to fit better. “I came back to the ship this morning when it docked. I missed the tour group so I’ve been wandering around alone.”

“But I thought you,” I didn’t want to say it but it was the elephant in the room, certainly a moot point. “Weren’t you arrested?”

John turned to both of us with a woeful expression. “My brother was arrested, not me. I swear I had nothing to do with what happened.” He took my hand in his and held it to his chest. “If I had known Jack was carrying on with women and robbing them…well, the truth is I don’t know what I would have done. But I wasn’t involved.”

Gage gripped his shoulder in one of those manly caveman ways and said, “We believe you man.” John smiled. I wasn’t convinced and felt somewhat guilty for being skeptical. I gazed at my mother’s ring and John’s hand enfolded around mine, the tip of his finger touching the gold band.

“I appreciate that, Gage,” he continued, as I turned away looking out the window as the bus pulled into the busy traffic and proceeded to the docks. “I should have known something wasn’t right. Jack is a bit of a slut and he does have a past with women and getting into trouble. With the new novel getting so close to deadline I was convinced he had turned his life around.” He shrugged his shoulders. “It just goes to show, you never know.”

“No John, you never know, especially when it comes to family,” I said, never tearing my gaze from the view out the window. What my father had done still stung and John’s situation only dredged up the memory. I could see Gage’s reflection in the window. His large hand clasped onto the nape of my neck reassuringly and my heart fluttered. He loved me but was still riddled with remorse.

John squeezed my hand and talked softly. “I’m so sorry for what my brother did to you, I’ll make it up somehow, make things right,” John offered.

I shook my head. “No John. There are some things that can be fixed easily and others that cannot. This I’m afraid is one of those blurred lines. Believe me when I say you owe me nothing.”

“But honey.”

I cut him off with the wave of my hand as I pulled it free from his grasp. “Let it go John. Okay?” I said.

“So you’re continuing on with the cruise then?” Gage said, taking over the conversation. “Any plans for dinner?”

John shook his head and I swung my head around to glare at Gage. What the fuck was he thinking, asking before he even considered that I may not wish to share my evening. “I have no plans.”

“Then you’ll join us for dinner,” Gage said, as he saw my eyes narrow into a your-a-dead-man glare.

“If you’re sure, honey,” John focused on me, “I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

There it was, that awkward moment. The one that if you said no, you’d feel like a piece of shit for being such a bitch and because your being forced to say yes, you’re starting to melt down before your very eyes. “You’re more than welcome to join us,” I said, staring at Gage. “We can do breakfast too, you should join us when we tour Venice, I’m sure we have nothing planned.”

I knew Gage had something special planned for Venice; he had been all secretive earlier hiding on the balcony with his phone so I couldn’t hear. This would piss him off as much as inviting John to dinner was pissing me off. He’d learn never to mess with this bitch.

Gage’s face turned pink and his eyes shot daggers, I could read him like a book. “That’s an overnight tour, sweetheart, remember?” Gage said, in an exacting tone that both John and I understood. “We have a room booked.” The cat was out of the bag this was his secret bared, at least I knew now and could prepare myself.

“I have plans in Venice, thanks anyway,” John said.

I watched as Gage’s shoulders relaxed and the tension eased away with John’s revelation. At least I made my point and Gage would think twice about making random invites without consulting me. He knew I didn’t follow orders well, not outside the bedroom anyway, and having plans made for me only infuriated me more.

***

“What the hell are you thinking Gage?” I burst out, before the door had closed all the way. “I don’t want to have dinner with John, not tonight or any other night.”

Gage held me by the shoulders, stopping me from making my grand escape to the washroom. “You were good friends, at least hear him out so you know the whole story. You’re going to do this.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing that Gage loved it when I did that, not. “Fine, but I’m doing this against my will. You can be such a pushy prick.” I crossed my arms over my chest and stood defiant. Gage smirked, backed me across the room and shoved my hard against the wall, delightfully hard. A grunt escaped my lips at the force and Gage quickly swallowed it with his mouth over mine.

Gage growled into my ear, “Insolence will get you absolutely nowhere with me, sweetheart, and you know it.” Holding my hands behind my back as he devoured the flesh at the lobe of my ear, I squirmed. “Stand still.” he whispered his order.

“And if I choose not to?” I decided to play the not so submissive card and regretted it immediately as Gage released his grasp and pulled away.

He walked over to the door and swung it open. “Then play time is over.” He left me standing, the lock was about to engage into place when it opened again and Gage’s head peeked in. “You learn to do as you’re told and I’ll finish what was started. Think about it.” He laughed and the lock closed behind him.

“Bastard,” I roared out and threw myself on the bed. I was hot and tired and now left with a puddle between my legs and regret. I played the wrong card, time to shuffle the deck and start again. I’d get him back for this, the wheels were turning.

***

“I need your help.”

“Sure, Gage. Come in.”

I moved past John into the tiny room as John waved his hand in the direction of the table under the window. “Would you like something to drink?” He offered from a variety of bottles sitting on the dresser.

“Nothing for me thanks,” I waved my hand and sat. “I can’t be long, Tandy will wonder where I am.”

John came over with a glass of clear liquid and ice and I detected the distinct scent of Gin, the smell reminding me of paint thinner. “How can I be of service?”

I looked at John and hesitated for a moment, “I need you to keep Tandy busy for a while, I need to make some calls and set up an important meeting. Will you help?”

John turned his head sideways with a suspicious stare. “If you’re doing something behind her back I’m afraid I can’t help, I won’t be part of it.”

Scrubbing my hand over my face I sighed, “you better pour me that drink.”

***