If Not For You (35 page)

Paula reached for the bottle and scowled as I nicked it away, “I know your daddy left you a shit load of money when he kicked it.”

I was well aware of my father’s estate and its worth, but it sat in trust and would stay put until my name remained clean for one full year. It was my father’s last ditch effort to keep me out of trouble and point me back on the straight and narrow.

“Don’t be so fucking crude, a little respect here. That money’s locked up, I can’t touch it.”

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “I’m sure you can scrape it together. You’re resourceful, use that pretty little head of yours.” She patted my hand. “You have until we dock in Egypt or I give your girlfriend a visit.”

Paula had balls, I’d give her that. With a blank stare, images of my fingers neatly wrapped around her throat, squeezing that smug look off her face encircled my head. She handed me a black business card with a phone number and nothing else.

My brows knit together. “What do I give a shit, she’s not my girlfriend.” I spit out trying my damnedest to come off unaffected.

“Oh come on, never kid a kidder. That one’s got your dick in a vice and you’re hard for her. I can see it, I remember that look. You looked at me that way once upon a time. You don’t want her to find out the truth, so you’ll cooperate like a good boy.” She raised her hand to my cheek and I jerked away like it was hot coals against my skin.

“Stop it!” I barked, in a nasty vile tone I didn’t even recognize as my own.

“You can reach me at that number to arrange a money transfer. It’s really in your best interest to do as you’re told.” she warned.

I grasped the beer bottle tight, waiting for it to break in my fist from the pressure. I managed to spit out, “Fuck you, Paula!”

She turned away with a smile. “We could do that, babes, but you’d still have to pay…remember you have until we dock.”

Paula sauntered into the hallway and glanced next door. With a wink, she placed her index finger over her lips making a
shhh
sound and then walked away toward the elevator.

The beer bottle rocketed across the room at an alarming speed, shattering into a million tiny shards against the wall, leaving a trail of beer trickling down to the carpet. The fire in me exploded before my eyes, the rage I felt was undeniable. The fact that she had screwed me over once and was returning to do it all over again, boggled my mind.

I rummaged through my luggage until I located my laptop and plugged it in when I discovered to my dismay that the battery was drained dry. I paced back and forth like a lion on the prowl, waiting until it charged enough to bring it to life. I sat staring at the screen trying to think of what to say, feeling every bit the fool having to crawl to Mr. M.

Mr. M. I have some trouble. Paula is on the ship and she’s threatening to tell Tandy that I’m working for you. She wants money. I need you to arrange a loan from my father’s estate. G.

I blew out a long breath and hit send. I started picking up chunks of glass, collecting them into the waste basket before calling room service for a cleaning. It was the least I could do after the mess I made. A ping sounded from the laptop sitting on the table and I rushed to open the reply.

We certainly have a mess, don’t we? How the hell did she get on the ship? And how the hell did she find out you’re working for me? My man tried checking the passenger list but security has him blocked. The only thing to do is pay her off. I’m not touching your father’s money. This is my problem, I will pay her and make sure she disappears. M.

She said I have until we dock at Egypt. That’s two days. G.

You just keep her away from my daughter. I will take care of the rest. M.

Thank you. I will do my best. I owe you. G.

You owe me nothing son, just keep that tramp away from my daughter. I will be in touch. M.

Now was the time to keep a distance, I couldn’t risk Tandy finding out, not like this. I desperately wanted to tell her everything, and I vowed that I would once Paula was taken care of. Why I was there and who I was working for would surely destroy what Tandy and I had. Not to mention, she’d break all ties with her father and in turn Mr. M would hang me from the nearest tree on behalf of them both.

What a fucking tangled web
, I thought. The dark pool I was keeping afloat in, with my head just slightly above water, was beginning to churn into a wicked storm. It was brewing wildly and the reality that it was only a matter of time before the waves sucked me under and I drowned in the underbelly of my lies was daunting.

“No more secrets!” I avowed out loud, they would only come to surface sooner or later, time to man up. The more I thought about it, the more I knew what he had to do. I
had
to tell her everything, try to convince her of my devotion to her and the old man would have to deal. Seizing my cell from the table, I sent Tandy a text, turned my phone off and slipped it into my pocket.

First and foremost, I had to deal with Paula. By tailing her, I could keep a distance from Tandy and keep track of Paula’s whereabouts. Picking up the phone, I waited for the main service to pick up.

“This is Monica. How can I help you today Mr. Carter?”

“Hi Monica, I was hoping you could help me locate a dear friend that I think may be on this cruise. It’s sort of an emergency.” I nearly gagged on the words, dear friend.

I worked my magic, using my most sultry tone when I spoke to her, crossed my fingers and waited while she fought with divulging private information. I could practically see her worrying, her lower lip curled or biting at her nails while she made her decision.

“What’s your friend’s name, Mr. Carter?”

“Paula Stuart.” I waited listening to her nails clicking the plastic keys of the keyboard.

“Sorry, I don’t have anyone listed as a passenger or guest under that name.”

“You’ve been very helpful Monica, thanks so much. Goodbye.”

So the hunt began, lunch would be the best time to do it, I could stake out the smaller dining rooms and restaurants. She’d have to eat.

Knowing exactly how Paula worked was going to help. She had a lethal charm about her, like a coiled cobra waiting to pounce on her latest victim, sinking in her fangs and injecting her poison slowly and deliberate. Thankfully I knew her too well.

***

There was an almighty crash next door stirring me from my misery for a few minutes as I wondered what had happened. But it only kept my interest for a short spell.

When my cell announced a text, I almost didn’t want to see it, almost. It was Gage. I stared at the heartbreaking picture on the screen of our linking tattoos. My heart fluttered with hope and I quickly opened it, like the fool I am.

I’ve been an ass. When we dock in Egypt I’ll be leaving the ship. I have business. We need to talk it’s important. I will call when I’m back on board. Trust me. G.

Trust me? What the hell did that mean? I was the ass and he hated me for it. I was convinced of this after he stormed out and left me with half a bottle of fancy scotch, leaving me to my own devices, to get totally sloshed, for which I was still suffering. Remembering his last text saying ‘No Tandy’ when I begged him to listen nearly broke my heart.

I puffed out a breath “Trust him? Whatever.” And I turned my head to the sound of the sliding door closing next door.

Perhaps I should have introduced myself to Mr. Sexy-next-door-neighbor on that first day aboard. I could have thrown myself at him, had a night of naughty hot sex and been done with it. Then I would have missed that introduction to Gage and our lives would have taken a different turn in the road. I would never have gotten close to him and my heart wouldn’t be aching for him at this very minute.

What a fool I’d been. Falling for a man on a cruise, letting him practically move in with me, giving him my virginity and to make things worse, I tell him I love him. What a fool! I did love him though, and the reality of it all? I was a fool to lead him on. I had no right to drag him into my wreck of a life, a life with an unknown future. If anyone was to blame for all this mess, it was me.

I could trust him, I could give him that much. I did trust him. He didn’t lie to me or lead me on an uncertain path, knowing that the future could finish us. No, that was me. If anyone was to be mistrusted it was me.

Gage was going to end up with a broken heart, left with a void where it once held me. It would shatter him if anything happened and he discovered that I had kept it from him. It would crush him and all because I hadn’t been honest from the beginning. All I could do now was tell him the truth and hope to God he could forgive me.

***

Blending into the crowd as best I could was a challenge. My being taller than most with blond shoulder length hair and a better than average build certainly didn’t help my ability to mingle in as I observed Paula from a distance.

She was doing well at the Blackjack table. Her ability to suck a man in with her full sexy lips and that I’ll-show-you-mine-if-you-give-me-what-I-want look, had men all around her practically throwing chips her way. All vying for her attention with hopes of getting fucked or at least a blowjob, they plied her with drinks and more than a few tightly stacked money clips passed under her nose.

I had it figured out in a matter of minutes. It was quite obvious how she was able to stay on board. She was sharing her
assets
for a bed to sleep in. What did she care if she had to fuck a few dirty old men, she had done it before to get what she wanted.
You do what you’re good at
they say.

Whore
, I thought to myself, or did I? When several people in the crowd turned to glare at me, I apologized and moved for a better, less obvious view.

I scrutinized Paula for a while as she worked her whore magic. She slipped her hand through her next victims waiting arm and they left the casino, unaware that I was on her tail. It wasn’t an easy feet following the pair. I couldn’t exactly get onto the elevator with them, and found myself maneuvering the stairwell to see the floor they exited to. As luck would have it, this poor sap had a room just down the hall from mine, perhaps not a good thing when I thought about it.

Watching the poor sucker, for lack of a better word, licking at the skin on her bare shoulder as she giggled and tee-heed had me nearly throwing up. The pair disappeared behind the closed door and I waited from the vantage point of my own room and opened a much needed bottle of beer.

I wanted to gouge my own eyes out, seeing in my mind what those two were doing in that room, just to earn her a place to sleep for the night.

A surprisingly short time later, Paula knocked on my door. I watched her admiring her newly manicured nails through the peep hole. Opening the door quickly, I pulled her into the room with a jerk.

“Hey! Take it easy, babes,” she cried out, half intoxicated and wobbling on her over the top glittering stilettos.

“I told you to stay away, what the fuck do you want now?”

She lowered her eyes to the buttons on my shirt and reached for one. “I was bored. Want to play?” But being on my guard, I grasped her wrist before she could get her claws dug into me.

“Get it through your thick skull. I don’t want to play with you, Paula. Not now, not ever. What happened to the old guy from the casino, run outta money?”

“Who, Monty? He’s asleep,” she said, with a smile, “someone’s been watching me.”

Neither confirming nor denying that I had indeed been following her most of the day, I stood seething. The stupid self-satisfied grin on her face was enough to royally piss me off.

“Speaking of which, did you get
my
money?” she demanded straight faced with her arms now crossed over her chest.

“Have I called you? No, which means I don’t have the money yet.”

Her hand reached over and lifted my tie from the table at the door. “You don’t have to be rude.” She raised it to her nose and inhaled.

“Paula, rude is all you understand.” I tugged the tie from her fingers and threw it back down on the table, took hold of her elbow and turned her toward the door. “I’ll call you when I get it.”

After walking out to the hall, Paula made a sudden move to Tandy’s door and my hand tightly fastened onto her arm. She let out a shout and I dragged her down the hall to the elevator and stood with my hand over her mouth until it arrived. I pushed her inside roughly, not caring who saw or if I left a mark or caused any pain.

Speaking in a whispered tone I warned her, “Don’t come near my fucking room again, next time I won’t be such a gentleman.”

The elevator closed and I turned just in time to see Tandy duck into her room.
Holy shit
, I thought. My stomach did a flip flop and I could feel the color drain from my face. Had she seen what happened? Had she heard us? I needed to find out.

Ominously knocking on Tandy’s door, I waited and when she didn’t answer, I talked through it, knowing that she had nowhere to hide and would be forced to listen.

“Tandy I know your there, open the door,” I ordered, knowing she was standing on the other side of the door because of the dark shadow underneath. “Tandy answer me.”

“Go back to your friend. Leave me alone,” she said, with a notable tremble in her voice.

“Son of a bitch,” I whispered, realizing that she was crying and feeling like an asshole for bringing her to tears again.

“Sweetheart, don’t cry, open the door.” I found myself begging.

“I’m not crying and don’t call me, sweetheart. You gave up that right when you walked out.” She bit out. I could practically see the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“She’s not my friend.” I tried to assure her.

“It didn’t look that way to me…when you kissed her at the elevator,” she cried out.

“I didn’t kiss
her
. What are you talking about?” I asked, deeply confused.