Hush (16 page)

The bartender had just set down my water when Siva showed up. He spotted me right away and began to weave through the crowd.

“Hey,” he said and kissed my cheek.

“Hi,” I smiled. I knew I had that gooey eyed look on my face but I just couldn’t get rid of it. Lyndi kicked me in the shin. “Ow,” I said and rubbed the spot. Lyndi cleared her throat. “Uh… Siva this is my friend Lyndi. Lyndi this is Siva.”

Siva took Lyndi’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said.

Lyndi blushed and looked at me. “Oh my God,” she mouthed.

“Sit down,” I told Siva.

“Where?” he asked
,
with a chuckle. I looked and realized all the seat
s
were taken.

“Oh right,” I said, squishing my brows. “Guess you’ll have to stand.”

He laughed. “Have you been drinking? I thought after
that night
you were never drinking again.”

I looked at Lyndi and pointed at her. “It’s her fault. Damn peer pressure.”

Siva smiled. “Is it still peer pressure when you aren’t actually a peer?”

“Damn,” I said again, “I guess I’m just plain stupid.”

Siva ordered a drink and leaned against my chair while he drank it. Lyndi finally seemed to recover herself.

“So you’re the man that has stolen Sloane’s heart?” she asked.

“I guess I am. I hope there’s not another,” his lips quirked showing his scar.

Another band came up and started their set. Their music was catchy and upbeat.

“Dance with me?” I grabbed Siva’s hand and tried to stand. “Whoa,” I said, grabbing my head as a sudden wave of dizziness overcame me. “I don’t feel so good.”

Siva sighed and looked at Lyndi. “This is why she shouldn’t drink.” His tone was light. At least he wasn’t angry.

Lyndi laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“I better get her home,” he said.

“I’m right here,” I said.

He laughed. “Bye Lyndi. It was nice to meet you.” He started to lead me away but then he turned around and spoke to Lyndi again. “Next time you two do something try and stay away from the alcohol.”

“Will do,” she said
and saluted him
.

He led me to the parking lot and helped me inside the Porsche.

“You okay?” he asked, pulling out.

“
Mhmm
fine,” I said, but I wasn’t so sure.

“Sloane? Wake up, Sloane, we’re home.
Wakie
wakie
,” someone poked me.

“Huh?” I looked around.

“We’re home,” said Siva. He helped me out of the car.

I squished my eyes closed as the sudden movement of standing made me sway drunkenly. I pulled away from Siva’s hand and ran to a corner of the garage where I emptied my stomach. He held my hair back. At least I didn’t throw up on his shoes.

“Are you okay?” he finally asked.

“I think so,” I breathed. He helped me into the elevator, into the apartment, and then up the stairs into his bedroom.

Siva laid me down and then chuckled. “What are you going to do if we both wake up naked tomorrow and you don’t know how it happened?”

“Since that’s happened drunk and sober already I don’t think it’ll be much of a shock anymore,” I said.

He laughed and kissed the top of my head.

“Night Sloane.”

“Goodnight Siva,” I said.

I almost told him that I loved him right then and there but I figured coming from a drunk he wouldn’t believe it.

Chapter Twelve

It had been so long since I had been home that I stood staring at my clothes trying to figure out what to pack. My suitcase was completely empty and I had to leave for my flight in an hour. This was beyond annoying.

Siva’s arms came around my waist and his lips pressed against my cheek. “Aren’t you going to be late?” he asked.

I turned in his arms so I was facing him. “Yeah,” I huffed blowing hair out of my face. “I don’t know what to pack.”

He laughed. “Typically you start with clothes,” he said.

“Maybe the problem is that I don’t want to leave you. Can’t you come with me?” I asked again.

His full lips turned down in a frown. “I told you Sloane. I can’t.”

I sighed. “I know,” I said turning back to my clothes and away from him.

“I really do want to meet your mom,” he said.

“Siva, it’s fine really. Go back to bed. It’s early,” I said.

He kissed my bare shoulder. “I want to see you before you leave,” he said. “You won’t be back until, Sunday.”

“I’m going to miss you,” I said melting against his body.

“I’m going to miss you too, Sloane. More than you know,” he breathed against my neck.
I was pretty sure he had shown me last night, just how much he would miss me, and quite frankly it was the best night of my life.

“You know what they say; absence makes the heart grow fonder,” I said.

He chuckled. “I’ve never understood that saying.”

I pushed at his arm. “You need to go. I’ll never get packed if you keep standing here talking to me.”

He brushed his lips against mine. “I’ll go make us breakfast.”

He disappeared out of the closet and I was left surrounded by my clothes. I tossed in a couple of skirts, dresses, jeans, and t-shirts. Better safe than sorry. I even added a swimsuit just in case.

I zipped up the suitcase, grabbed my carryon bag, and dragged them both down the steps. I dropped them by the
door
and padded into the kitchen where the scents and sounds of Siva making breakfast greeted me. He slid an egg onto a plate, added two strips of bacon, poured a glass of orange juice and slid it across to me.

“You best hurry,” he said sitting down beside me.

He was right. I was going to be very late.

He swallowed a bite of egg and said, “Jacob will drive you to the airport.”

“You’re not taking me?” I asked with a pout.

“I want to,” he said. “But I can’t. I have some important stuff to do for work. A couple of people are supposed to be stopping by.
”

“Oh,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” said Siva.

I swigged down the orange juice and wiped my mouth on a napkin.

“
It’s fine, really,” I said. “I’ve got to go.
I’ll miss you.”
I love you,
I wanted to add but I didn’t.

“I- I’ll miss you too,” he swallowed. I kissed him long and deep.
His stubble itchy against my hands.

“Bye,” I said putting my forehead to his.

“Bye,” he said.

I didn’t want to
go. “I’ve really got to go,” I
said.

“Stay,” he breathed.

“Tempting,” I said. “But my mom would kill me.”

“Well,” he grinned, “You’re no good to me dead.”

“I guess I’m not.”

He kissed me again and followed me to the elevator.

“Bye,” I said again as the doors closed. He waved.

And I kicked myself.

Why hadn’t I told him that I loved him?

* * *

Jacob was waiting in the garage with the Porsche already running. When he saw me he hopped out of the car and grabbed my bags, putting them in the trunk.

“Thanks,” I said climbing in the car. I was still beating myself up over not telling Siva I loved him. Why hadn’t I been able to find the words?
“You really don’t have to do this,” I said. “I could just take a taxi. I don’t mind.”

Jacob waved his hand. “It’s no problem. A friend of Siva’s is a friend of mine.”

Jacob climbed in the car and pulled out of the garage.

“Are you happy to be seeing your mother?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s been a long time. It’ll be good to see her.”

Jacob nodded. “Siva will miss you. You’ve been… you’ve been very good for him Sloane. He’s different now. Good different. He’s… happy,” said Jacob.

“He is?” I asked.

“Very,” said Jacob.

I sat back against the seat. That was good to know. Sometimes I wondered if Siva was truly happy with me.

Jacob continued on to the airport. It was early and traffic was light. The sun was just beginning to rise, staining the sky.

My heart racing.
We were almost to the airport.

“Jacob,” I said.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Turn around,” I said.

“What? Did you forget something? You’ll miss your flight,” he said hitting the blinker so he could turn around.

“Yeah,” I said. “I forgot something very important.”

I pulled out my cellphone and called the airport to change my flight to a later one.

The rest of the way back to the flat I smiled.

I was going to tell Siva that I loved him. I had to.

* * *

Jacob pulled into the garage and parked.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, the stupid, silly, grin still plastered to my face.

“I’ll be waiting,” he said.

“Thanks,” I said and dashed out of the car and to the elevators.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach making me feel weightless. Excitement coursed through my veins. This was it. I was finally going to say it.

The elevator soared upwards and with it my heart.

My heart thumped madly in my chest
as the doors slid open. I walked down the hallway and was about to insert the key when I noticed the door was slightly ajar. I pushed it open with a smile on my face. “Siva!” I called, hoping he was still home. “Siva!” I called again coming into the foyer. I stopped when I reached the living room.

“Siva,” I gasped as my heart tore in two. “No,” I said. “No, no, no!” He had his arms wrapped around a pretty brunette. She was obviously comfortable with him, too comfortable, her lips
plastered to his, and her hands all over his body
. “Siva,” I said as the tears coursed down my face. I
walked backwards, towards the door, with my hands up like I could physically ward off what I was seeing.

“It’s not what you think!” he cried looking heartbroken. But I didn’t believe him. The brunette wore a triumphant look.
I climbed in the elevator.
“Sloane!” he said running towards the elevator as if to stop the doors from closing. I averted my face trying to hide the tears. The last thing I heard him say was, “Fuck!”

My heart dropped to the floor and down to the garage, down to the core of the earth, down, down, down, it went.

I ran to the Porsche and tumbled inside.

“Go! Go now!” I screamed at Jacob and smacked his arm. “Go! Go! Go! Now!” He peeled out of the garage going fast. But not as fast as the tears that fell down my face.

I bit my lip in an effort to quiet the sobs, it didn’t work.

Finally curiosity got the best of him and Jacob asked, “What happened?”

I couldn’t answer him for a moment. I smacked my fist against the leather seat. “He- he- he was with another woman!” I screamed. “Why?” I buried my face in my hands. “I was goin
g to tell him I loved him. But…oh…
am I glad that I didn’t.” My whole body shuddered. “Just get me to the airport,” I said.

Jacob said nothing. He seemed as shocked as I had been.

He pulled up to the gate, got my bags out, and turned to me with his hands in his pockets. His blonde hair shone with highlights in the morning light. “I am sorry, Sloane. I did not know.”

“I’m sorry too,” I said taking my bags from him.

He gave me a sad smile and then I surprised us both by hugging him.

“Bye Jake,” I said.

He smiled. “Bye Sloane.”

* * *

I was sitting at the terminal my plane was supposed to take off from when something caught my eye.

The set of the shoulders, the hair, the clothes.

No, he wouldn’t dare. I left my bags and marched across the way to the small café. His back was to me.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed as menacingly as possible.

Siva turned. His violet eyes glimmering.
With tears?

He wiped his face. “I thought you were gone,” he said. He had a Styrofoam cup full of steaming black coffee in front of him.

“I changed my flight before I came back to tell you-”
that I loved you
, I stopped myself, my mouth snapped together with an audible pop.

“I wanted to explain before you left.”

My mouth formed a narrow line
. “I don’t think there’s anything you need to explain, Siva. You cheated on me,” I shrugged my shoulders.

Siva’s hand slapped the table making me jump. “I did no such thing,” he said. “Alexa-”

“Alexa? Is that her name?” I sneered.

“Yes, that’s her name,” he said and his
teeth were clenched. “
She works for me,” he said. “Nothing more.”

“I’m not that cozy with my
co-workers,” I said with heat. I was really trying to fight my tears though. I kept picturing Siva and the pretty brunette doing the
horizontal
tango. I hated that it hurt so much.

Siva growled. “That’s why I fired her.”

“You fired her?” I asked and I hated how small my voice sounded.

“Yes,” he said, “she was out of line
. I’m sorry you had to see that.
”

“More like sorry you got caught,” I laughed.

“No,” Siva hissed. “Never Sloane. Do you hear me? I would never do that.”

“It looked like you did,” I said.

“Exactly,” he said, “
looked
like. You don’t know what you saw.”

“Oh yes I do. Little Ms. Perfect Alexa had her hands all over
you
and her lips far too close to yours.”

“Dammi
t, Sloane,” he said. “Listen to me. Please, I’m begging you. Begging you,” he repeated. “Please listen to me. Please believe me.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I love you,” he whispered.

“What?” I gasped and sat down in the chair across from him.

“I love you Sloane. You’ve had my heart ever since I saw you in that church. You’ve captivated me, my own little witch.”

“Siva,” I gasped. “Don’t say that.”

“Why?”

“You
hurt
me,” I said and the tears started up again.
I want to believe you
.

“I know Sloane,” he said, “but I didn’t mean to. I swear it was all her. She’s been making her attentions clear and I did nothing to thwart it which was my fault. I just didn’t expect
that
to happen.” He laughed to himself. “Love is a weakness. Look what it has done to me.”

“Love is not a weakness,” I said vehemently. “Love is worth fighting for. Fight for me, Siva. Fight for us.” I reached across the table and grabbed him by the shirt. I was surprised by the amount of passion I had left in me. I was mad and I was hurt but that didn’t change my love for him and love makes us do funny, stupid, things.

“I am!” he yelled in the café. I was sure we had the attention of everyone now. “I’m trying Sloane! I’m trying! But what if I lose you! It won’t have been worth it. I’ve never loved someone Sloane. Never. You’ve bewitched me. I don’t want to lose you! I’m fighting! Fighting hard!” His shoulders shook. “Please believe me Sloane. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I believe you,”
I said
. I could see the truth shining in his eyes. “But I’m hurt Siva. What I saw? I can’t just erase that.”

“I know,” he sighed.

They called for my flight.

“Siva, I’ve got to go,” I sighed.

“No,” he said shaking his head.

“I’ll be back Sunday like was planned. I need to think about some things.
About us.
About my life.”

He hung his head. “I understand Sloane. But I do,” he said.

“You do what?”

“Love you.”

“I really have to go,” I said.

“Is there any chance?”

“Chance for what?” I asked.

“That you’l
l love me?
”

“I’m already there, Siva. I have been for a long time.”