Huckleberry Hearts (33 page)

“Will donating blood help Cassie?” Anna asked.

If nothing else, it would be good karma, as Mom would say. “Yes. If they don't give it to Cassie, they can give it to someone else in trouble.”

“Let's go, then,” Anna said, already heading out the door.

“Don't even think about it, Mamm. You're too old,” Esther said.

“I'm not old yet,” Anna said, turning on her heels and striding out of the waiting room like an Olympic sprinter in orthopedic shoes. No one would have been able to tell she'd just had foot surgery.

“Wait for me,” Felty said. His step was even more sprightly as he walked away. Those two were amazing. Their blood could probably cure all sorts of diseases.

Luke and Linda followed the grandparents.

Norman lifted his pale face to glare at Zach. “Now do you understand why I have been so concerned about my sister? Why I begged her to stay with us?”

Zach clenched his teeth. He couldn't stomach Norman's preaching today. “We can have a frank doctrinal discussion when this is over, Norman. But right now, my only focus is getting Cassie better.”

“But don't you see what you have wrought with your worldly influence? She decided to leave the church, and now God is punishing her.”

Something inside Zach snapped like a rubber band. He seized Norman by the collar and shoved him violently against the nearest wall. With grief and fear laying waste to his senses, it took every ounce of strength not to pound his fist into Norman's mouth. “Shut up! Just shut up!”

Norman grunted and scowled with every muscle in his face. “You have no right . . . Let go of me. I am a man of peace.”

“What you are is a spiteful, despicable hypocrite, and a sorry excuse for a human being.” He shoved Norman away from him. “Get out of here. I can't stand to look at you.”

Esther surprised Zach again when she laid a gentle hand on his arm. His temper came to rest when he looked into her eyes. “This will not help my Cassie, will it, Doctor?”

Zach took a step back and shook his head.

Esther pinned Norman with a stern eye. “Did the good Lord take your
fater
because he was a wicked man? Are you saying he deserved to die?”

“Nae, Mamm. I did not mean—”

“I know what you meant, Norman, and it does not reflect well on you. God is the only righteous judge of men.” She put her arm around Norman's shoulder. “God would never take my Cassie as a punishment. If He punished His children that way, we would all be dead. We are all sinners.”

“If she dies, my heart will break,” Norman said.

“Mine too,” Esther said, her voice cracking. “But we will accept the Lord's will.” She wrapped her fingers around Norman's arm and pulled him in the direction of the elevator. “Let's go pray. And then we will give blood.”

Zach was torn between prayer and a good battle with the punching bag at the gym. Would his prayers help or hurt Cassie's chances? He felt raw and angry, scrubbed from the inside out with a wire brush. His truce with God was fragile indeed.

There was nothing he could do
but
pray. God already knew how mad he was. Maybe Zach should give God a chance to soften his heart. Maybe God would see Zach's meager offering of faith as enough to save Cassie.

He took the stairs to the little chapel in the basement of the hospital. The room seemed dark and lifeless as if even God had abandoned it. Zach sat in one of the folding chairs and bowed his head.

Jesus said that all things are possible to him who believes. Could his faith save Cassie? If his faith was weak, would he lose her? Did her life hang on the strength of his faith? The thought was almost too horrible to contemplate.

Leaning his arm against the back of the chair in front of him, he prayed. “Heavenly Father, I want to believe. Help me believe. I'll do anything You want if You will just save Cassie. I love her. Please, spare her life.”

He wept until he was spent, until every muscle in his body trembled with exhaustion.

After several bleak minutes, someone slipped an arm around his shoulders. He glanced up. Felty sat beside him.

“What does God want from me?” Zach said. “What more can I do?”

“God uses tribulations to strengthen our faith.”

“So you mean that Cassie has to suffer to test
my
faith? That doesn't seem fair. If my faith is to be tested, I'm the one who should suffer.”

“That's not what I mean. God doesn't make bad things happen to test our faith. More people are made bitter by trials than are made better. Bad things happen. How we respond to a trial is up to us, but if we let Him, God can teach us something in the process.”

Zach leaned his head in his hand. “What am I supposed to learn? I can barely think, let alone open my heart to God.”

“You think if you have enough faith Cassie will be healed?”

“Yes. Jesus said it's possible if I believe.”

Felty folded his arms. “Do you remember the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego yet?”

Zach nodded. There weren't many Bible stories he didn't remember. “The king threw them into a fiery furnace, and God saved them.”

“What did they tell the king right before he threw them into the furnace?”

Zach pressed at the space between his eyebrows. “They told him that they wouldn't worship his gold idols. They said God would deliver them.”

“They said that God was
able
to deliver them. And then they said something that everybody forgets. They said, ‘But if not . . .'”

Zach furrowed his brow. “What does that mean?”

“They told the king that God was able to deliver them, but if God chose not to deliver them, they would still believe in Him.” Felty tightened his arm around Zach. “You might have enough faith for Cassie to be healed. Do you have enough faith for Cassie
not
to be healed?”

“I don't understand.”

“Will you still believe even if Cassie is taken? Because that is the true test of your faith.”

Zach wanted to jump to his feet and yell and shout and break every rickety folding chair in the chapel. He would never agree to letting God take Cassie. That wasn't faith. Felty didn't know what he was talking about.

Felty seemed to sense Zach's inner turmoil. “Jesus said, ‘Thy will be done.' Can you say the same and mean it?”

Zach thought of Jesus on the cross. He told His disciples He could have saved Himself, but He didn't because it wasn't the will of God. He had the power and didn't use it.

Zach's budding faith had taken a crushing blow when Austin died, but looking back, what had his faith been but a misguided hope that God was his own personal genie who existed only to grant his wishes? And when God hadn't granted his wish, he'd stopped believing.

God had given him a test, and Zach had failed miserably.

He drew in a shaky breath. “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”

A tear rolled down Felty's cheek and disappeared into his long, gray beard. “Me too, Lord. Me too.”

It was Zach's turn to comfort Felty. He wrapped his thick arms around Felty's thin, eighty-five-year-old shoulders. “Will you pray with me?”

“There's nothing I'd rather do.”

“Dear God,” Zach began, his voice strong and clear as if God were giving him the words. “I want Cassie to live. I know you can heal her. Please heal her. But if not, I will still believe.” He swallowed hard. “Thy will be done,” he said, and meant it.

Chapter Thirty

The pain was nearly unbearable. She held perfectly still so as not to make it worse. The left side of her body could have been on fire. Her head throbbed as if it were stuck in a vise, and a sharp pain down her spine almost took her breath away. She was too tired to open her eyes, but if someone knew she was awake, maybe she could get something for the pain.

If someone knew she was awake . . .

Where was she?

Was she dead?

No, she didn't think she'd be in this much pain if she were dead. And it hurt. Bad.

There was nothing else to do. She'd have to open her eyes.

It was dark outside the window and the lights were dim, but she could see enough to know she was in the hospital. Had there been an accident?

Zach Reynolds sat on a chair close to her bed fast asleep. Her heart raced at the sight of him. Oh, how she loved him!

Did this mean he'd gotten her text?

Her text. Her mad dash to the hospital in the buggy. An accident. She didn't even know what had hit her.

She wanted to reach out and smooth the hair from Zach's forehead. She wanted to lean over and give him a kiss. He was so incredibly good-looking and so incredibly good. How could she resist?

Okay, leaning over and kissing anybody was not a good idea. When she moved her head a fraction of an inch off her pillow, the pain flared to life. She groaned softly. No moving for her.

That slight noise startled Zach awake. He looked at her, and his smile could have guided ships into the harbor. “Cassie,” he whispered.

“Sir Galahad,” she whispered back.

He reached out as if her touch could save him from drowning and slipped his hand into hers. He bowed his head and gently pressed his lips to her fingers. She felt his tears on the back of her hand as his body shuddered and he disintegrated into gut-wrenching, heart-cleaving sobs. He wept as if he'd just walked out of the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

“Thank You,” he said. “Thank You, God.”

With her heart overflowing, she held very still and let him weep.

Chapter Thirty-One

Zach had been living off little more than coffee and prayer for three days. Dr. Mann had all but ordered him to get some sleep and a good meal or threatened to ban him from the hospital. After he made sure Cassie rested comfortably, Zach had sprinted down to the hospital cafeteria to grab a quick bite. He never wanted to let her out of his sight again.

Only when he had smelled the chicken noodle soup had he realized how famished he was. He'd ended up eating a club sandwich, two bowls of soup, a roll, three cookies, and a piece of pie. Plus a cup of green Jell-O in Austin's honor. He had practically been able to hear Austin giggling with every bite.

After polishing off his third cookie—nowhere near as good as anything Cassie made—he leaned back in his chair and took a swig of coffee. He should call Mom. A twinge of guilt stabbed him right between the shoulder blades. Mom had probably been pacing the floor since he had texted her that Cassie had been in an accident. He should have called way sooner than this.

He pulled his phone from his back pocket and punched in Mom's number. She answered on the first ring.

“Zach. Finally.”

He winced. Mom sounded more than a little annoyed. “Sorry I didn't call sooner.”

“No offense, son. I've tried not to be pushy, but really? It's a good thing I didn't hold my breath waiting for your call. I get a text—
Pray for Cassie, she's been in an accident
. Then four hours later—
She's out of surgery. She's going to be okay. I'll call you as soon as I can
. It's the curse of a mother with boys to never get the details of her children's lives.”

“I'm sorry a text was all you got, but considering my state of mind, you're lucky it wasn't a call from the insane asylum.”

“I called all my ladies from church and from the auxiliary. We prayed like crazy.”

Zach's heart felt as if it had grown three times larger in the past few days, and it only kept growing. “Thanks, Mom. It really helped.”

“How is Cassie?”

“She had a punctured lung, a broken back, and a ruptured spleen. They took out her spleen and put a tube in her chest. Her back had a minor fracture. No permanent damage.”

“Thank the Lord for that.”

Zach couldn't keep his voice from cracking. “I almost lost her, Mom. I don't know what I would have done.”

“I know.”

“But you should have seen all the people. Her family put out word that Cassie needed blood, and within an hour there were two hundred Amish people waiting in line at the hospital to donate. I bought every doughnut in town to pass out.”

There was a brief silence on the other end. “You sound terrible. How long has it been since you've had any sleep?”

Zach's hand seemed to automatically go to his forehead where the headache had been lingering for days. “I don't remember, Mom. I just . . . I couldn't leave, you know?”

“Of course not, but it would be better if you didn't end up in the hospital yourself.”

“Mom, I'm going to ask her to marry me.”

An even longer pause. “Are you converting?”

He chuckled. “She's decided not to be baptized after all.”

“Well, that's good. I'd probably go years without hearing from you if you couldn't even text.”

“I'm wondering if I should wait until she's out of the hospital before I pop the question. I don't want to rush her, but I don't want to wait too long either.”

“There's no universe where the hospital is an appropriate place to propose to a girl,” Mom said. “Find the most romantic spot in Shawano.”

“I'm terrified just thinking about it,” Zach said.

“If she has any sense at all, she'll say yes. You're a catch. All the auxiliary ladies think you're hot.”

Zach groaned. “Mom, please. Too much information.”

Mom giggled. “You can tell Cassie I said so if it will make her more likely to say yes.”

“No thanks.”

She sounded so close, and he wished he could reach out and get a hug. He felt as if he'd been put through the wringer on Anna's washing machine.

“What are you going to do about a ring?” Mom said. “All your dad's insurance money went to medical school. You're living off hot dogs and ramen noodles.”

“I don't know. I thought maybe I could give her my class ring until I can afford something really spectacular.”

“Absolutely not,” Mom said. Her voice seemed to echo throughout the entire cafeteria.

Zach chuckled. “Okay, bad idea.”

“I want her to have the ring your dad gave me.”

Zach felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see his mom standing there in all her motherly wonderfulness. His heart swelled as big as the sky as he leaped to his feet and wrapped his arms as far around her as they would go. “Mom!” he shouted, not caring who he disturbed in the small cafeteria. The tears ran down both their faces as they stood there making up for months of hug deprivation.

“You look terrible,” Mom said.

“You look wonderful,” Zach replied. They laughed through the tears. “I can't believe you came,” he said.

Mom retrieved a tissue from her purse and mopped up her face. “Yesterday, after forty-eight hours of not hearing a thing, I went a little crazy. I hopped on a plane this morning. Thank goodness for American Express.”

Zach draped an arm around Mom's shoulder. “I'm so happy, I think I'm going to pass out.”

Mom lifted her eyebrows as she eyed Zach. “You might pass out from exhaustion and starvation. It looks like I got here just in time.”

“Just in time.”

She nodded and rolled up her sleeves. “I'm here to help. Put me to work. And when can I meet Cassie?”

“Let's go see if she's awake. If not, you can at least meet her grandparents. Since the accident, they've been at the hospital almost as much as I have.”

“I've been dying to meet them. They've taken good care of you. I owe them my deepest gratitude.” She cupped her hand over his cheek. “They brought my son back to himself.”

Zach shook with happiness. “Mom, God is good, and I'm never going to leave Him again.”

Mom got all soft and mushy around the eyes. “Pop would have liked hearing that.”

“He already knows.”

 

 

Cassie sat up gingerly and let Mamm help her put on the back brace that fit tightly around her like a corset. Then she carefully put on her pants. Mamm frowned but didn't say a word about the jeans or the collared blouse or the white Nikes with fluorescent pink trim. She even knelt down and helped Cassie put her shoes on. In the days following the accident, her mamm had somehow come to terms with Cassie's decision not to be baptized. Mamm hadn't said a word about the church or Cassie's wickedness in all her time spent in Cassie's hospital room. She even cheerfully bore Zach's presence even though he wasn't Elmer Lee. Cassie was proud of her for making an effort.

A near-death experience could do that to a person.

Every moment Zach wasn't working had been spent by Cassie's side. She finally had to put her foot down—which was hard because she couldn't even get out of bed—and insist that Zach go home and get a good night's sleep. He'd done it reluctantly, but she held firm. She wasn't about to let him catch pneumonia on her account.

A few days ago, his mom had come to town, and her presence had helped Cassie rest much easier. Not only had his mom taken over the job of monitoring Zach's sleeping habits, but she had lifted some of the burden from Zach's shoulders. She took shifts worrying about Cassie so Zach could get some rest.

Zach's mom was just as Cassie had imagined her: loving, no-nonsense, devoted to her son and God. She had to have been a remarkable woman to have raised such a remarkable son.

At the times Cassie was lucid, she and Zach had talked about her accident and his newfound faith. He told her of his dream and his despair and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. She told him of her decision to leave the community and her desperation to get to him after reading his letter.

They rejoiced in God's tender mercies. And Zach smiled. A lot.

The visits and cookies and flowers from Amish and church friends never ceased. Mammi and Dawdi were at the hospital almost as much as Zach was, and her brothers and sisters and other relatives visited regularly. The doctor finally had to set strict rules about visitors. Cassie wouldn't have gotten any rest.

The doctor said she could live just fine without a spleen, and some physical therapy on her back was all that was required for her to function normally again. Lord willing, she'd be good as new in a few short months.

“You'll need your scarf and jacket,” Mamm said as she took Cassie's hospital gown and folded it at the foot of the bed.

Someone knocked on the door to her room.

“Come in,” Cassie called, smoothing down her blouse. Mammi ambled into the room carrying a fuzzy pink sweater. “This is for you,” she said, holding out the sweater so Cassie could get a better look.

Cassie sighed and ran her fingers along the tightly knitted yarn. It felt silky soft, like a newborn
buplie'
s hair or a bunny rabbit's fur. The yarn was light, feminine pink that Cassie knew would bring out the color in her cheeks.

“Mammi, this is beautiful.”

Mammi beamed even wider. “A beautiful sweater for a beautiful girl.”

“Don't encourage vanity,” Mamm said, before clamping her lips shut. She looked as if she were biting her tongue.

Mammi raised an eyebrow. “God made Cassie beautiful, like the lilies of the field. Even the lilies wear petals.”

Mammi helped Cassie pull the sweater over her head and put her arms through the sleeves. It fit perfectly. The sleeves were long and the neck was high. A modified cable pattern ran down the front of the sweater. The collar of her blouse peeked out of the top and gave her a very tailored look. She liked it. “When did you make this?”

“I whipped it out whenever you weren't around and stuffed it into my bag when you were home. I was sneaky. I knew the doctor would eventually work up the courage to ask you on a date. I had to be ready.”

Cassie giggled. Zach had been standing in the hall outside her room this morning when he dialed her cell phone. He had apologized profusely for calling a number she had only given him so he could check on Mammi's foot, then proceeded to ask her on a date. Their first date. He told her he would pick her up at the hospital doors as soon as she was discharged.

Was it bad for her health that her heart raced as if it would trip over itself?

Cassie gave her mammi a kiss on the cheek. “Oh, Mammi. I'm so happy.”

“I am too. You're number eight for me.”

“Number eight?”

“Number eight match.” She counted on her fingers. “Moses and Lia, Aden and Lily, Beth and Tyler, Gid and Dottie, Ben and Emma—they were together once already, but I got them back together. Lizzie and Mahlon—Felty says I can't count them because they sort of got together on their own, but I'm counting them anyway, and Mandy and Noah. Though truly, Mandy and Noah are Felty's match, and I should give credit where credit is due.”

Cassie's jaw dropped to the floor. Her mamm's did the same. “It was your plan to match me with the doctor?” Cassie said.

Cassie's mamm looked momentarily indignant. “Mamm, how could you? He's not even Amish. What about Elmer Lee?”

“Now, Esther. You know as well as I do that Elmer Lee was never going to work out for Cassie. Dr. Reynolds is a gute boy, and he makes Cassie very happy.”

Mamm's expression softened to putty. She patted Cassie on the cheek. “The doctor is a gute man. He is not the one I would have chosen, but my Cassie deserves to be happy.”

“Jah,” Mammi said. “And he has such nice hair.”

 

 

Cassie hadn't really wanted to ride in the wheelchair. She felt like enough of an invalid already. But the nurse insisted. Mamm and Mammi followed close behind as she was wheeled to the elevator and then out the sliding hospital doors.

Zach was leaning on the hood of his car with his arms folded, looking better than anyone had a right to look. Cassie took a deep breath and tried not to hyperventilate. This man, who had stepped straight out of a men's fashion magazine, was taking her on a date.

He wore jeans and a navy blue sweater that had a pattern eerily similar to the one on the front of Cassie's sweater. Another of Mammi's creations?

He smiled as if he'd never really been happy until this very moment. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi.”

“You . . . I've never in my life . . . You look beautiful.” His eyes shone with admiration as he tried to find the words. He gestured at her sweater. “We match.”

She grinned. Mammi was a tricky one.

Zach opened the car door for her. She got into the car, trying not to wince. She was still very tender yet.

Zach grabbed a blanket from behind her seat and spread it over her legs, winking at her as he did. She held her breath and tried to calm her pulse. He'd feel bad if he caused her to have a heart attack.

Cassie waved goodbye to Mamm and Mammi as Zach pulled the car away from the curb and grabbed her hand. “Is this okay? Does it hurt?”

“It feels amazing,” she said.

“Yes, it does.” His smile was subtle, as if he were trying to contain all his happiness. “How are you feeling? Can I do anything to make you more comfortable?”

“I'm a little sore, but considering where I've been, I'd say I'm doing well.”