Having Faith (25 page)

“That is not acceptable,” Faith heard herself saying, wondering where in the hell the confidence in her voice was coming from.  “My name is Faith O’Connell.  I am in town for one day only – today.  And as for what it regards?  Tell Mr. Longstreet that it concerns his
son
.”

Silence.

Faith’s entire body was shaking now.  Matt looked at her, pride etched across his beautiful, youthful face, and he gave her a two-thumbs up – a well-timed reminder that this was not about her.

“Hello.”  Faith recognized Nathan’s voice immediately.  Even that single word held the command of a quarterback calling out a play to his team mates, the smooth Southern drawl so familiar.  “Hello?  If this is some kind of prank - ”

“Nathan,” she finally managed.  She heard him pause on the other end.  “Who is this?” he asked, his voice a little less authoritative.

Faith took a deep breath for strength.  “Nathan, it’s Faith.  I – I got your letter.”

The silence on the other end of the line stretched for so long Faith thought he might have hung up, at least until she heard him sigh.  She looked at Matt, who gave her a smile of encouragement.  When she spoke again, her voice sounded more confident. 

“I thought maybe you and I could talk for a few minutes.”

Another long stretch of silence.  “Alright.  Come to my office and - ”

“No, Nathan,” Faith said before she lost her nerve.  “Neutral ground.”

“Neutral ground?” Nathan asked, sounding surprised.  “Are we at war?”

Faith ignored that.  Nathan Longstreet might have been able to charm her once before, but no longer.  She wasn’t a scared, naïve fourteen year old anymore.

“How about Pappy’s Diner, ten a.m.?”  Pappy’s was a twenty-four hour place right off the interstate.  A very busy, very public location that would hopefully keep the drama to a minimum.

“I’d prefer to do this in a more private setting.”

This was not about what Nathan preferred.  Faith didn’t give a damn about that.  “That’s a no, then?”

Again, she sensed his surprise.  He wasn’t used to her having a spine, she realized. 

“You aren’t going to be reasonable about this, are you?”

“I am trying to be reasonable, Nathan,” she said, just a hint of annoyance staining her otherwise even tone.  “But if you prefer to handle this in court - ”

It was a bluff, of course.  Faith had already decided she would not have Matt submit to a paternity test.  One million dollars was a hell of a lot of money to someone who’d been eking out a living day to day, but things were finally starting to look up.  She and Matt were happy (broken heart notwithstanding).  She had a decent job, and Matt was doing phenomenally well in school, making lots of friends.  They had their own home.  It might not be much in most people’s eyes, but it was theirs.  She liked her new life.  And she wouldn’t give it up for anything.

Another sigh, but this one was definitely forced.  “Alright, Faith.  I’ll meet you at Pappy’s.  But if you think for one minute that I am going to - ”

“I don’t,” she said, cutting him off.  “Ten a.m., then.  Goodbye, Nathan.” 

Her hands were still shaking even after she flipped the mobile closed. “Well?” Matt asked.

“We’re meeting him at a diner just outside of town.  I was thinking we could stop by Ethan’s grave on the way, pay our respects.”

Matt nodded soberly.  “I’d like that.  And Mom?  Thanks.”

* * *

K
ieran sat in the rented sedan, waiting impatiently.  His heart nearly leaped out of his chest when he saw her.  Well, to be truthful, he saw Matt first - the kid literally towered over his mother – but had he not, Kieran would have had difficulty picking her out of the constant ebb and flow around the airport.

He stepped out of the car, ready to pull an intercept.  He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to say.  “What the hell were you thinking?” probably wasn’t the best opener.  Neither was, “You belong to me,” or “Get in the fucking car, we’re going home.”  It seemed all of the things in the forefront of his mind weren’t suitable.  After much thought, he decided to wing it based on her reaction to seeing him. 

By the time he got to the cab waiting area, they were gone.  He knew she didn’t have a rental lined up; the reservation would have appeared in the searches he’d done.  And there hadn’t been time to grab one once their flight landed. 

He very nearly smacked his palm on his forehead.  Of course she wouldn’t get a rental!  Just like she wouldn’t get a cab.  Maybe he was every bit as insensitive to her situation as she’d accused him of being.  Even as the thoughts found purchase, he spotted the bus pulling away.  He quickly pulled out his phone and dialed Ian with the number of the bus as he sprinted back toward his rental.

“Lost her already, did you?” Ian chuckled into the phone.  Kieran let loose with a few colorful expletives.  He was
so
not in the mood for Ian’s shit. 

“Relax, little bro.  Just activate the GPS in your phone.  I chipped Matt’s cell.  As long as it’s on, you’ll be able to find him.”

“You couldn’t have told me this earlier?” Kieran grumbled into the phone.

Ian’s laughter was rich.  “And miss the groveling?  Not a chance in hell.”

Sometimes being the youngest sucked.

* * *

I
t wasn’t hard to find Ethan Longstreet’s final resting place.  The aboveground vault bearing the Longstreet name was noticeably larger than anything else around it, and there were still plenty of greens and flowers placed around the exterior.  Faith kneeled just before the structure, placing the small bouquet they’d purchased in front.  She murmured a few soft words, a prayer maybe, as she and Matt held hands and bowed their heads together.

Pappy’s was just close enough to the interstate to be filled with tourists and travelers, but not a lot of locals.  It was for primarily that reason that Faith had chosen it.  She had been gone a long time, but Faith didn’t want to take the chance of being recognized.  An added benefit was that Nathan wouldn’t be on his home turf.  Faith would take any advantage, no matter how slight.

After some consideration, Faith thought it might be better for her to speak with Nathan alone first before introducing Matt.  That way she could feel him out and decide whether or not to move forward.  As much as she wanted to fulfill Matt’s wish to meet his father, she wouldn’t hesitate to leave if Nathan was acting particularly nasty.

She explained this to Matt.  He agreed, reluctantly, but only on the condition that he remain close enough to intervene if necessary.  Faith didn’t think it would come to that, and tried to convince him otherwise.  If this meeting went anything like the last time she saw Nathan, he might have some less than kind things to say, and she didn’t want Matt to hear those kinds of things about his mother. 

But Matt was adamant (a trait he seemed to develop after spending several months around a certain willful Irishman) and assured her that he knew the truth, no matter what he would hear.  Sighing, Faith agreed to the compromise.  Sometimes it was hard for her to remember that her little boy was growing up, and that he had one heck of a protective streak in him.

With that in mind, Matt took a seat at the counter, while Faith slid into a nearby booth.  Faith ordered a cup of coffee and a muffin, though she doubted she could eat anything.  She was so nervous her stomach churned.  She alternated her glances between the front door and where Matt sat.  Matt’s face was shadowed by the brim of the ball cap he wore, but he was close enough to hear every word.

Promptly at ten, a familiar looking figure came into the diner.  Familiar, though the passage of time had definitely left its mark.  He still had his blonde hair, but there was significantly less of it than there once was.  His form, while athletic, had softened somewhat over the years.  He was handsome enough to turn a lot of feminine heads, in any event, and the expensive cut of his suit didn’t hurt, either.

As he looked around the diner, Faith held her breath, waiting to feel.... Something.  Anything.  Some spark, some interest, some residual tenderness, but found ... nothing.

When Nathan’s eyes finally settled on her, they widened perceptibly.

“Faith,” he said, his voice every bit as rich as she remembered, though it had deepened slightly.  “You look positively –
stunning
.  Christ.  You still look like a teenager.”

The color rose in her cheeks a little bit.  Nathan had never called her stunning, had never complimented her on her appearance at all, actually, she realized.  Of course, then she’d been fourteen, only on the cusp of womanhood.  Motherhood and time had changed things significantly.  Though she remained on the slim side, she had more than her share of womanly curves, thanks in large part to her pregnancy early in life.

But then Nathan wouldn’t know that, because he’d never believed her, and she’d been long gone before she’d shown a baby bump. 

She smiled, just a little one, and inclined her head at the compliment as Nathan slid in across from her with athletic grace, bringing with him the scent of expensive cologne.  It was a struggle not to wrinkle up her nose.  Kieran always smelled so fresh, so naturally masculine; she had become so accustomed to it that she found this offensive.  She wondered idly if Kieran even wore cologne at all, then decided he probably didn’t.  He was just naturally delicious.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, wrenching herself back to the situation at hand.

He continued to stare at her, not taking his eyes off of her even while he gave his order to the waitress.  Faith fought the urge to squirm, as well as the even stronger urge to look at Matt.  She could feel his eyes on them.  Protective.  Watching.  Waiting.

She felt his presence as keenly as if he’d been sitting beside her, giving her the strength she needed. 
Her
son.  Practically a man.  And though Nathan might be Matt’s biological father, he had absolutely no claim whatsoever on the young man eyeing them warily. 

And it made her realize something else, too:  Nathan Longstreet couldn’t hurt her anymore.  Whatever hold he once had over her was long gone.  She no longer felt the anger, the betrayal, the hurt that she once did.  If anything, she felt a kind of detached gratitude.  If not for Nathan, she would have never had Matt.  If not for Nathan, so many things would have been different.  What happened made her stronger, and, she hoped, a better person because of it.

“I just can’t get over how young you look, Faith.  So young and sexy and
beautiful
.”

She didn’t bother thanking him again.  The waitress brought more coffee and a plate of biscuits covered in sausage gravy, placing the plate in front of Nathan.  Automatically, Faith tried to picture Kieran eating that and couldn’t.  Kieran took great care of his body, keeping to naturally low-fat and organic foods.  She bit back a smile, recalling how much he had raved about her cooking, how he liked that so many of her dishes were filled with fresh vegetables from the farmer’s market and those she’d canned from her own garden.  Of course, it probably never occurred to him that she did so because meat was so expensive...

Faith shifted uneasily.  It seemed that everything reminded her of Kieran.  No matter where she looked, there was something that made her think of him, or something he said, or the way he looked or smelled or laughed. 

Nathan continued to stare at her across the table, and that only served to increase her discomfort.  Only Kieran had the privilege of looking at her like that - like he wanted to taste her.  She liked when
he
did it, but Nathan’s ill-concealed appreciation was unwelcome. 

Damn it, she cursed inwardly.  She’d just gone and done it
again
.  Couldn’t she go five seconds without thinking of Kieran Callaghan?

“I’m sorry about your father, Nathan,” she said finally, because someone had to say something.  “He was a good man.” 

Nathan nodded, but his expression hardened as he no doubt remembered the circumstances that had precipitated this meeting.  “He was.  But he was also a soft-hearted old fool,” he said.  Faith wondered how his eyes could go so quickly from blatant admiration to suspicious accusation and still remain condescending the entire time.

He watched her carefully for a reaction.  She offered him none.  Ethan Longstreet had been kind and generous to her and Matt, both with his time and his money.  Faith always refused more than the bare minimum she needed at the time, and always paid it back with interest when she could.

“Are you married?” he asked suddenly, shooting a glance toward her left hand. 

“No,” she answered simply.  She supposed it would have been polite to inquire in kind, but the truth was that she didn’t really care, especially when it had absolutely no bearing on the reason she was here.  All it took was a brief glance downward to note the gold circlet around his left ring finger anyway.  She wondered idly if he had married Carla Martin; her daddy had a lot of strong political connections.

The interest in his eyes increased.  “Why not?”

She could tell him it was because she’d never met the right one, but that wasn’t true.  She had.  It just so happened that something between them wasn’t possible, especially since she had pushed him away.  Kieran hadn’t tried to contact her in several weeks.  Some part of her believed that if what he had said were really true – if they really were soul mates – then nothing would have kept him away, not even her panicked decree.  Faith took absolutely no pleasure in being right.   

And how ironic was it that each passing day had her missing him more, and him getting on with his life?   She was now convinced that Kieran
had
been the right one – her true soul mate – just as Kieran was discovering that she wasn’t his.

Regardless, she hadn’t the slightest wish to discuss any of it, and certainly not with Nathan.  It was irrelevant. 

“Nathan, the reason I wanted to speak with you was because - ”

He held up his hand, halting her.  “I know why, Faith.”

“You do?”  Faith couldn’t help but steal a glance over at Matt.  His body was still angled away, though she could tell by the way he held himself he was listening intently. The baseball cap he wore did a good job of covering his dark coppery locks, but it was probably unnecessary.  Nathan hadn’t looked his way even once.