After several minutes Jack gripped Will’s hair with both hands, pulling hard as he again offered a cryptic prayer heavenward. “Oh, God. Please…please…God…”
Jack’s balls tightened in Will’s hand, his entire body suddenly rigid in the seconds before orgasm. When Jack shot his copious seed, Will was ready. Eagerly he swallowed, pulling back to lick every drop from Jack’s shaft.
He lay his head on Jack’s hip and reached up to touch his chest. Jack’s skin was burning, his heart pounding so hard for a moment Will was worried he would have a heart attack.
“Shh,” he whispered, “shh.” He moved up beside Jack, who still had his arm slung over his face. His lips were parted and he was breathing hard. “Jack. You okay? You’re kind of worrying me. Can you slow your breathing a little bit?”
Jack moved his arm and faced Will. His cheeks were flushed, his skin covered in a sheen of sweat, his eyes fever-bright. “I’m okay,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “Better than okay.” He pulled himself up so he was leaning against the pillows at the headboard.
Slowly he shook his head from side to side and let out a long, low whistle. “That was really something. That was a first for me. Now I know what the big deal is.”
“You mean the first time another guy went down on you? I thought you said you and that guy, Luke…”
“Not that. He didn’t do that. I mean, what you did…with your mouth. No one’s ever done that.” Jack blushed and looked down, bringing his hands protectively over his spent cock.
“But surely Emma…”
“No.” Jack shook his head firmly. “Not her. Never.”
Will was silenced by this. He tried to imagine getting to the age of forty-four before having your first experience with oral sex. He failed. “Wow. No kidding.”
“It was…amazing.”
“Plenty more where that came from.” He laughed. “And lots more besides.”
Jack’s attention was on Will’s still-erect cock, half of it bared above the narrow band of black silk. “Can I…touch it?”
Will wasn’t entirely sure he’d heard him correctly. “Can you touch it?”
Jack nodded. Will couldn’t help but note the contrast of Jack’s charming hesitation to the men he usually had sex with, who took what they wanted, no questions asked.
Will pulled his underwear off and tossed it away. He lay back against the pillows and put his hands beneath his head, closing his eyes to put Jack more at his ease. He felt the light touch of Jack’s calloused fingers on his belly, then the grip of tentative fingers curling around his cock. He sighed with anticipation, almost desperate for Jack’s touch.
Jack continued to hold his cock, his fingers cool against the heat of Will’s lust. He arched up in encouragement but Jack remained immobile. Will opened his eyes and lifted his head a little to see what the problem was. Jack was staring at Will’s body as if mesmerized, his lips parted, his tongue touching his lower lip.
“You okay?” Will asked.
Jack seemed to snap out of a daze. “What? Yeah.” He dropped Will’s cock and pulled away. “I’m—I’m sorry. This is so much to handle right now. I think I need some time. I don’t know. To figure this out.”
Ah
, Will thought, trying to keep any bitterness from creeping into his thoughts.
Typical guy—now that he’s come, now that he’s had his orgasm, he’s suddenly able to think clearly
. Was Jack now second-guessing himself? Regretting his haste in falling into bed with Will? Convenient that this happened
after
he’d let Will get him off.
Jack began to speak and Will struggled to listen without leaping to conclusions. “Please don’t think I don’t find you attractive. I
do
. I’m just—I don’t know—I need to figure this out. The craziness whirling through my head right now. For you this is probably just an experiment. See how far you can get with the old guy—”
“No way,” Will interrupted, suddenly angry. “I can’t believe you’d say that. Do you think I’ve been making up everything I said? Do you really think I’d go to those lengths, say what I said about love, just to have a quick fuck with a virgin?”
“No, no, I guess not. Please, I’m sorry. That’s just my insecurity talking. You’re so good-looking and confident. I still haven’t figured out what you see in me.”
Mollified, Will replied, “Hey, I’m sorry I bit your head off. You don’t know me that well. You don’t know I never talk about touchy-feely things like love and emotion. I wasn’t lying tonight when I said I’m as out of my ken as you are. Just in a different way.”
“Maybe in a similar way.” Jack looked down, his cheeks turning pink. “What just happened—it can’t be just physical. I mean, can it? I’ve never experienced anything like that before, Will. To tell you the truth, I used to wonder sometimes what the big deal was about sex. Why people, men especially, were so into it they’d do incredibly stupid things to get it.” Jack lay back against the pillows and looked up at the ceiling.
“First the kiss this afternoon. I’ve been kissed before. I’ve even, as I confessed earlier, been kissed by a guy. But when
we
kissed it was different. It was like it was charged with something electric. No, not even electric—something cosmic. Something beyond my experience.
“And when you touched me this afternoon, sure it felt good. I mean, everyone likes a massage, but my cock was hard as a rock the whole time your hands were on me. And when I saw you in the shower…” He stole a sidelong glance at Will, who smiled and nodded for him to go on. “Well, when I saw you, so young and strong, your cock in your hand, your head thrown back… It was like I was watching a dance. The most sensual, erotic dance I’ve ever seen.
“Then just now. Oh my
God.
Your mouth, when it touched my cock, I thought I was going to explode. I felt like the blood was racing through my veins at a hundred miles an hour. It wasn’t just that it felt good. It felt
incredibly
good. It felt like I had been waiting for your mouth to touch me like that my whole life, only I didn’t know I was waiting. I’ve lived my entire life with a vague sense of discomfort, of being ill at ease in my own skin.
“Suddenly I don’t feel that way. I feel like—” He paused and turned his head toward Will, his expression one of wonderment. “I feel like singing. I can’t even carry a tune, but I feel like singing. I feel like dancing around the room. I feel like opening the window and screaming out to the world that my life is finally beginning.” He took a breath and let it out. “I know this doesn’t even make sense. You must think I’m insane. Shit, I think I’m insane. I was hoping by trying to say this crazy stuff out loud, it would make more sense. But it doesn’t.”
“Yes it does.” Will was grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. “It does make sense, to me it does. I felt the same way when we kissed. And like you, I’ve kissed a guy before. A
lot
of guys.” He touched Jack’s arm and smiled reassuringly. “Jack, maybe you’re over-thinking this stuff. It’s partly my fault. I promised to go slow and then I couldn’t keep my hands and my mouth to myself. I love how incredibly responsive you are. We have so much to explore together. Being with you is like the first time for me too, because I’m experiencing it through your senses in a way. Each touch, each feeling is new.”
He took Jack into his arms. Jack leaned into him, hiding his face against Will’s neck. Will’s cock still ached with unrequited lust but he found to his surprise he wanted to put the needs of someone else before his own. He pushed the words whispering around the edges of his consciousness aside—
that’s because you’re in love
.
“Can you stay tonight? I would like it if you could stay. Maybe in the morning we can pick up where we left off.”
“I’d like that. Only I don’t want to wait until the morning.”
For the first time that night, really for the first time since he’d begun to have sexual feelings toward Will, the unceasing, panicked patter in his brain stopped or at least quieted its incessant chant—
you’re with a man, you’re with a man, you might be gay, oh my God, you’re with a man, you’re touching a man, you want a man, you might be gay, you’re gay, oh my God…
The anxiety was still there, but the terror was easing, replaced with a kind of wonderment.
You’re with a
man
—with Will.
Despite the fact he’d just orgasmed, his cock hardened as he leaned into Will’s strong, naked body. His heart was still smashing in his chest and it was difficult to catch his breath. Will’s cock pressed against his thigh.
When Will’s lips had closed over his cock, pleasure had exploded through his body, drenching him in a soaking heat of sensation. How easily Will had taken him in, sucking his cock deep into his throat like it was the easiest thing in the world.
He had no idea what he was supposed to do next. Did Will expect him to suck his dick? Could he do that? Did he even want to?
I do want to, but he’d probably laugh me out of the room. I haven’t the first clue what to do.
He wasn’t repelled by the thought of touching and sucking Will’s cock. The realization was a strange one for a man who’d spent his life thinking he was straight as an arrow. No, he wasn’t repelled, but he was scared. He’d spent the last twenty years with a sexually repressed woman, and instead of trying to help her grow, he’d simply capitulated, forcing himself to be content with what little physical intimacy they shared.
Now the world had split wide open. The sexy man at this moment kissing his neck no doubt expected him to return the favor he’d just bestowed. Unlike Emma, Will was anything but sexually repressed. He’d probably done things and had things done to him Jack hadn’t even thought of yet. How strange it was to feel so young and untried, when he was fourteen years his lover’s senior.
His
lover
.
Dare he use the word? Did the word imply love was involved? Or was it just a euphemism for a sex partner? Even that was a tough one to swallow. Jack tried to quiet his mind. Though Will had protested otherwise, this still might be just a kind of weird sexual experiment for him—an amusing diversion to see if he could seduce the handyman.
Well he had succeeded, hadn’t he? Jack felt utterly vulnerable, completely exposed. He wanted to trust Will, and there was a fledgling trust balanced delicately in his heart for the younger man, but the slightest wrong move on either of their parts could send it tumbling, or so he thought.
Stop thinking.
“Hey,” Will said softly, his voice low and sensual near Jack’s ear. “Where did you go? I feel like you’re off somewhere else right now. Come back to me.”
Jack startled, surprised Will could sense this. He pulled away from Will’s embrace and lay on his back, turning his head toward Will. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I guess I’m lost in my own head. I still can’t quite believe I’m here with you. I can’t get a handle on what’s going on between us.”
Will leaned up on his elbow. A sweep of his hair fell in a wave over his forehead. His eyes glittered in the light of the moon now risen and shining through the window. “It’s okay. We don’t have to figure everything out right now. Whatever is going on between us, I like it. I hope you do too.”
Jack didn’t reply, unable to admit he didn’t just
like
it, it was consuming him.
Will leaned down toward the bottom of the bed, where the sheets lay rumpled. He pulled them up over their naked bodies and lay back down. He closed his eyes. This gave Jack a chance to examine his face. The man was classically handsome, with his long, straight nose, square jaw, high cheekbones and smooth forehead. He was easily one of the best-looking men Jack had ever seen. Again he wondered what the hell Will wanted with him. Surely this guy could have his pick of any man he set his sights on.
He told himself not to look a gift horse in the mouth. For whatever reason, and for however long it lasted, at this precise moment, Will seemed to want him. And he wanted Will, oh yes he did.
Jack’s gaze moved down Will’s body. He could see his cock, still erect and outlined against the sheets. Tentatively he touched Will’s chest. Unlike his own, it was smooth. His skin was cool to the touch, the muscle hard beneath it. Will was smiling, just a hint curving his lips. Gathering courage, Jack pressed his hand against Will’s chest, feeling his heart tap a steady, strong rhythm beneath his fingers.
Holding his breath, Jack gripped the edge of the sheet between thumb and forefinger and dragged it down Will’s body until his cock was exposed. It lay stiff and long, pointing upward along his stomach. Jack’s cock was thicker, but Will’s was longer, the head large and fat. Could he possibly take such a thing into his mouth?
Will opened his eyes and bit his lower lip, the gesture erotic. “That felt nice, when you touched my chest. You have such strong hands. I like the way they feel on my skin.”
Jack placed his palm over Will’s heart. He stroked his way downward, feeling the hard muscle beneath the skin. He felt dizzy, trepidation and desire churning in equal measure in his gut.
Will had let his eyes flutter shut again. Jack understood he was giving him space—giving him time to adjust to what was happening between them.
Jack moved his fingers down to Will’s stomach until they were a fraction of an inch from his cock. Unable to resist, Jack touched the head with one finger. Will’s cock twitched in response and he moaned.
Jack’s own cock had fully recovered. The scale of his emotions tipped between nerves and desire, desire winning out. He gripped Will’s shaft. It was hot to the touch, a thick vein pulsing up the side. Will’s cock stiffened beneath his fingers. He didn’t dare look at Will’s face, focusing instead below the waist.
Shifting downward on the bed, he moved his face closer to Will’s crotch. He could feel his own heart thudding against his ribs. He moved closer still, so his nose was almost touching Will’s cock. He breathed in, aroused by the musky scent.
Dropping his hand, he tentatively snaked out his tongue and licked along the smooth flesh. Again Will’s cock twitched at the touch, though he was otherwise still. Cautiously Jack licked upward toward the spongy head, drawing a circle around it with his tongue.
He moved to get a better angle, closed his eyes and opened his mouth. Slowly, his heart squeezing so tight he could barely breathe, he lowered his mouth over the bulbous head. He leaned down a little, trying to take it deeper. It already filled his mouth and he had managed barely more than the head. His heart was beating so hard he felt dizzy.
Will touched the back of his head. “Yes,” Will whispered, holding onto the “s” as he pressed gently against Jack’s hair. More of the shaft slipped into his mouth. Its head touched his soft palate and Jack gagged, not expecting it. Instinctively he jerked back and Will’s hand fell away.
Gasping, Jack thought,
I can’t do this.
He wanted to do it. He wanted to give Will the incredible pleasure he’d given him, but he knew he didn’t have the skill. Still, he tried again, lowering his head, his lips sucking down the shaft as he tried to imitate Will’s actions.
Again the head touched his soft palate and again he gagged, unable to control the reflex.
Shit.
He closed his eyes, waiting for Will to jerk away with disgusted impatience.
You can do this. Just don’t think about it.
That didn’t work—this time he gagged almost the moment he wrapped his lips around the head. He was angry with himself and acutely embarrassed.
“Hey,” Will said, his voice tender. “Relax.” Humiliated, Jack looked up at Will. “I can see from your face you’re beating yourself up right now. Please don’t. This isn’t a contest. We’ve got plenty of time. As much time as we need.”
Jack nodded, still embarrassed but grateful for Will’s gracious reprieve. “What you did felt great,” Will continued. “You’ll be a natural once you relax.” As he spoke, he wrapped his hand around his own shaft. Jack’s eye was drawn toward it. Will’s hands were narrow, the fingers long and elegant compared to his own beefy ones.
Will curled his fingers around his cock, his thumb pressing along the pulsing vein. “When I was in the shower,” Will whispered throatily, “I was thinking of you. I was thinking about how much I wanted you.”
Jack was unable to pull his gaze away as Will began to masturbate in front of him. Using his left hand, he gripped the base of his cock tightly as the right hand continued to stroke and pull at his shaft.
Jack’s cock sprang to rock-hard attention. Will’s green-eyed gaze was fiery, his tongue peeking between his lips, his chest rising and falling with each hot, sensual stroke of his hand.
Something in the gesture shot straight past Jack’s whirling mind, heading right for his cock. Before he realized what he was doing, he pushed Will’s left hand away, taking the hot, heavy balls below into his hand. Will groaned and let his head fall back, his right hand flying over his shaft.
Within a few moments Jack felt Will’s balls tighten, as Will stiffened and gave a cry. He jerked spasmodically, shooting jets of cream onto his belly and chest.
His hand dropped away from his cock and, reluctantly, Jack also let go of his balls. Will opened his eyes and grinned weakly at Jack. “That just kind of snuck up on me. That was really hot.”
Jack smiled back uncertainly. He was still wildly aroused, his cock jutting stiffly toward Will.
Hot
was an understatement. It was incendiary, combustive, molten.
Jack knew he was ready for Will to take him to the next step, whatever that might be. His cock ached to feel again the fiery perfection of Will’s lips and tongue, which had driven him nearly insane with pleasure.
Will reached for the box of tissues beside his bed, wiping away the evidence of his orgasm. “You like to watch, huh?” he said teasingly.
Jack felt his face heat but he didn’t deny it. Will held out his arms and Jack lay beside him. Will turned into him, resting his head on Jack’s chest. “Your heart is beating so fast,” Will whispered.
Will began to kiss Jack’s chest—butterfly kisses that sent shivers of pleasure running down his spine. He stopped at Jack’s left nipple and licked in a lazy circle around it, causing it to perk to attention. Lightly he bit the nubbin, sending electric currents of desire straight to his cock. He did the same with his other nipple and then began a slow, sensual glide down his abs and stomach.
Jack’s cock ached in anticipation. Will gripped his thigh with one hand. The other hand gently closed around the base of his cock. Jack gasped, his heart lurching as Will’s lips closed over the crown of his shaft. Will continued to lower his head, his lips creating a heavenly suction.
“Jesus,” Jack moaned softly, barely aware he had spoken. Will began to move his mouth, lifting and lowering, his tongue dancing along the underside of Jack’s cock while his lips did their magic, his fingers gripping the balls beneath.
Jack could feel an orgasm building. He gasped, the pleasure overwhelming his senses. All at once Will pulled away, letting Jack’s cock fall wetly against his belly. Jack groaned, desperate for his touch, still too shy to demand it.
Will didn’t keep him waiting too long, however. He bent again over Jack’s cock and licked in a slow, teasing circle around the head, gliding over the slit, outlining the base of the crown with the tip of his tongue. Nearly overcome with lust, Jack grabbed his head and pulled him down, aware he was being aggressive, not able to help himself.
Will didn’t resist, taking Jack’s shaft deep into his throat. Will’s finger prodded and teased between his ass cheeks. Jack stiffened, embarrassed and unsure about this sudden, if gentle invasion of his most private place. The finger was wet and pressed easily past the sentinel of muscle ringing the entrance. Though he was embarrassed, it felt good. He couldn’t deny it. It felt great.
It was as if there were a furnace boiling deep in his belly—he was literally on fire. Whether in spite of or because of Will’s intimate probing, Jack’s climax welled up like an earthquake shaking inside of him, shattering through him, utterly beyond his control.
For an indeterminate amount of time Jack lay in a stupor, only barely conscious of the man beside him. Dimly he became aware of a harsh, rasping sound, which he eventually placed as his own ragged breathing. He realized his fingers were entwined in Will’s hair, probably hurting him. He forced his cramped fingers to let go and his hands fell limply to his sides.
Will stretched out beside him. He leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, on his eyelids, on each cheek and finally on his lips. “You liked that, huh?” he said, the teasing lilt back in his voice.
Jack turned toward him, trying to focus. “Yeah,” he said, a grin lifting the corners of his mouth. “You could say that.”
Will laughed, happiness suffusing his features. Silently Jack marveled to think he was the source of this happiness in some way. He laughed back out of sheer joy and impulsively caught Will in a bear hug.
They lay together in post-orgasmic contentment, stroking each other’s bodies and faces. They whispered back and forth, mostly the sweet romantic nonsense shared between new lovers. Jack felt sleep tugging at him but he resisted, wanting to savor this quiet, shiny new joy—a joy he’d never experienced before, a joy he hadn’t known existed.