Grasping For Freedom (18 page)

Only he'd know what to do, and right now he was God knows where, doing God knows what, for her. No matter how many times he assured her it was his job to protect her, she knew differently. She blew out her breath, planted her elbow on the table, and propped her chin.

All her life, she'd depended on herself. Her dad repeated to her all the time how family takes care of family, and they must not fail again the way they had with her mom. That fear of failing was one of the reasons why she'd continued looking out for her dad when her mom died. She couldn't trust strangers because only she knew what had driven her dad to step back into the ring. The others only wanted to use her dad for his ability to fight in the ring.

She laid her hands flat on the table, sprawling her fingers, and inhaled. Once Torque came back to Pitnam, she'd hit the road and go back to California. She had no other choice. That's what she had to do.

She stood and retrieved her packed suitcase from the bedroom. A quick glance throughout the cabin, and she was sure she had everything with her. Hollow and numb, she couldn't allow herself to think of leaving Torque right now. She'd deal with that once she had her dad safe and back with her. If she thought of what she was leaving behind, she'd change her mind.

She also knew Torque would not let her leave. He was that kind of man. The kind of man she needed and wanted.

However, she wasn't delusional.

Once she walked away, he wasn't the type of man who'd run after her. Regrets would always lay heavy on her shoulders, but she'd survive. Not saving her mom, unable to save her dad yet, and bringing Los Li back into Torque and the Bantorus MC's life would always haunt her. Torque didn't deserve to live in fear.

She had to be strong.

She hated being strong.

The door of her cabin swung open. She turned, expecting Bruce, and found Torque filling the room. Her body urged her to run toward him, but she stayed where she was. He gazed at her intently, taking her all in. Her body betrayed her. She warmed under his attention and craved a moment to put her hands on him to make sure he was okay.

Lightheaded from not eating and the valiums Ginger kept forcing her to take, she swayed. He was alive.

That's all she every wanted. He was back safe with his club, and they'd support him. He'd survive.

His shoulders tensed, his stance braced, his mouth barely moved. She looked away, puckered her lips, and blew the hair out of her face in an attempt to hide her conflicted thoughts.

"Come here," he said.

She ignored his request. "H-how did the meeting with Lagsturns go?"

He closed the door for once and moved toward her. "Sunshine, look at me."

Stronger than she was feeling and more determined than she'd ever had to be, she brought her attention back to him. "Did you learn anything about my dad?"

"More than I knew before going to Lagsturns." He cupped her face. "What the hell is going on with you?"

"I-I failed. Radiant let me go without a word about my dad. I had no idea if you were in danger or even able to come back. Now I'm stuck in lockdown in my cabin with no way to help anyone. It's not a good feeling," she said.

His thumb caressed her cheek. "I know, sunshine."

"I had no idea when you'd get here or what was happening. I don't like not knowing what is happening to people in my life. I don't enjoy being locked up with a group of people I barely know and told to calm down. I also don't like the whispers around me and when I ask questions, I'm told it's club business, like I should know not to ask because I'm only a woman. Shit, Torque, nobody will answer me, and I keep asking about you and if anyone has heard, and they just tell me that I'll know when they know." She blinked back the tears that threatened. "I need to go home."

Torque's head went back, but he continued to hold on to her. "You are home."

"I mean, back to California. I need to find my dad. I don't know what Radiant did to him," she said.

Torque's touch softened until she leaned her cheek into the palm of his hand. He was steady, hard, and here. All three things made it impossible for her to ignore her feelings.

"I'll take care of finding your dad, but you're staying right here," he said.

She shook her head and opened her mouth to argue with him when he kissed her. Like his personality, he consumed her. Firm lips, nudged her mouth open wider. His tongue dominated her ability to pull away. She leaned into him, letting him support her with only his hands framing her face. The kiss soothed her desperation, clear down to her toes.

Weak and submissive, she was in his arms and off the floor before she could think of protesting. Not that Torque gave her time to formulate a word to stop what was happening. Even if he did, she'd never deny herself what only he could give her.

He took her to the couch. She was naked in a matter of seconds, sprawled atop the cushions, his fingers toying between her legs, his mouth at her neck, and her hips bucking the air.

She shook with need from the two days without him. More than anything, she craved him taking ownership of her responsibilities. His forceful attitude gave her no wiggle room. She had to trust him and she did, except where her father was concerned. She couldn't hand that part of her life over to him, and he had to understand it had nothing to do with her love for him.

"Babe...please," she said, needing him to stop, wanting him to continue.

Afraid he'd continue to weaken her resolve to leave, she closed her eyes and tried not to think about him touching, talking, breathing. Around him, she almost believed her dreams weren't shattering around her.

His tongue swiped the tender skin under her ear. "Say you'll trust me."

She bit her lip, her hips arching in the air to the pressure of his fingers on her clit.

Denial stuck in her throat. She couldn't.

"Trust me," he stated, taking her earlobe into his mouth.

The warmth of his breath left goosebumps on her. She sucked in her bottom lip and bit down.

His finger slid inside of her, while his thumb continued stroking her.

She moaned.

"Trust me with your dad."

She shook her head, trying to move away from his mouth that continued to lavish her neck, making her lose control. Her back arched bringing her hips up. He slid his finger in farther, and touched the spot that made thinking obsolete.

"Stay with me and together we will find your dad," he murmured against her skin. "I promise."

Again with his finger, and again she cried out in pleasure.

He stayed inside of her, bending his finger, stroking her G-spot. "Trust me, sunshine."

"God!" She thrashed on the couch, losing the battle.

The rush of warmth disbursed clear through her. She panted and bucked.

"Let me take care of you and your dad," he continued.

She quivered, holding back the impossible. Because no matter how deep her love for her dad ran, her heart belonged to Torque. "Yes..."

With her compliance, she relaxed and her insides rolled, one delicious wave after another of pleasure, filling her completely.

Torque remained at her side, slowly stroking her through her climax and back down to earth, never leaving her. She finally opened her eyes to deal with what she'd volunteered herself to do when he stood and unzipped his jeans, pulled a condom from his wallet, and settled himself between her legs. He thrust into her as if to make sure she stayed with him. Her body, already sensitive, greedily took his hardness, sighing in anticipation of more.

She'd missed him.

She'd missed this.

She'd missed how she felt when with him.

Torque braced himself on the back of the couch, one arm beside her head, and gazed down at her while moving his cock in and out. She ran her hands over his chest, over his scars, over his tats.

She had no idea how she'd deal with loving and needing one man, and loving and needing her dad. The strength she needed to make both of them happy seemed impossible for her to find.

She laid her finger over his lips, and he sucked her finger into his mouth. The erotic feelings of his tongue against her skin had her climaxing again, taking him with her. He groaned as his pelvis jerked in unsteady rhythm, until he lost his strength and laid down, pulling her over, and laying her atop his chest, her leg flung over his thigh, her head in the crook of his neck.

"Missed you, sunshine," he said, kissing her forehead.

She grabbed on to his words and tucked them away deep inside. She only hoped he felt the same after they found her father.

B
randy covered a yawn mid-sentence and tried to bolster enough energy out of the espresso Torque put in her hand. Amazingly, yesterday after Torque got home and they'd settled on her not leaving Pitnam alone, she'd fallen asleep on the couch and didn't wake up until twenty minutes ago to find the sun peeking over the coastal mountains.

Sometime during the night, she was subconsciously aware of rearranging her position to lay her head on Torque's lap as he sat with the door open. He'd dozed, but she swore the man never slept a full night in a prone position.

"Is it going to be okay with Rain if you take off with me for a couple weeks?" She sat down on the porch step beside Torque.

He drank from his own coffee cup. "Already talked to him. He wanted to send riders with us, but I talked him into us going alone. He's called off lockdown."

"You think you'll be safe?" she asked.

From what she understood, Los Li wanted Torque dead because of some miscommunication someone received from a man in prison. With a hit on his back, danger chased Torque no matter where he went. However, the idea of him being in California, closer to Los Li, scared her. It'd make him too easy to find.

"I think Radiant pulled everyone back off me, and that's why he called and told you the job was over. I made a couple calls this morning, and words getting around that Los Li got whiff of Jimmy Chain ratting everyone out for his own vendetta. They've called off all the hits," he said.

"Why would he do that?" She leaned against Torque. "They're all criminals. They lie and kill, but they'll take someone's word as being the truth? Doesn't make sense to me."

"Not much makes sense when it comes to Los Li, sunshine," he said.

She drank the rest of her espresso. "So, we're going to leave for Cali tonight?"

"I want to travel with you after dark when there's less traffic. You're not used to riding yet, and it'll be safer." He removed his hand and stood. "I have a friend who's doing some digging and trying to find out if your dad's still with Los Li. It's a long shot, because I have my doubts that he can get any news about what is happening inside Los Li, but if they let your dad go, we'll hear about it before we arrive. That's all we got to work with right now."

She stood, stretched up on her toes, and kissed him. "Thanks, babe. It helps. A lot."

Shouting came from the side of Cactus Cove and Torque's body went stiff before Brandy found herself hustled back onto the porch. Motorcycle engines roared to life. The backdoor of the bar opened and Rain whistled.

Torque turned around, his body blocking Brandy's view. Her heart raced, not understanding what was going on, and she clung to the back of Torque's jeans.

"Everyone roll out. Drive-by at the garage. Lock 'er down," Rain yelled.

Torque waved him on. "I'll cover the bar. Take the others."

"Lock it down, brother," Rain said, running for his motorcycle.

Torque removed the pistol under the back of his belt. She hurried to keep up with him. "What's going on?"

"Shots have been fired over at Shift's Garage," he said, grabbing her hand and running to the next cabin. He kicked on the door. "Everyone out and inside the bar," he shouted.

While he banged on all of the eight cabin doors and made sure no one was inside, Brandy ran beside him. No longer tired, her adrenaline spiked making her jumpy.

In the last cabin, two girls, barely awake, stumbled and ran toward the back of the bar to get inside. Torque paused, and she tugged on his hand wanting to get inside.

"Hang on," he said.

She squeezed his fingers, unwilling to part from him. "What's wrong?"

"Listen." He cocked his head.

She tossed her hair behind her shoulders to hear better, but all she heard was her rapid heartbeat pounding against her chest. "I don't—"

"Sh." He stalked toward the corner of the bar, away from the back door.

He gave her a look she interpreted as 'stay behind him'. She pressed against his back, squeezed between a rock hard body and even harder brick building.

Traffic sounds grew louder. Torque spun and plastered her against the wall, yelling into her ear over the noise that continued to grow. "Go to the back door, stay by me, and don't stop running."

Car tires screeched, engines roared, and gunshots echoed around her. Half way to the door, she could no longer hear what Torque was yelling. Heavy weight took her off her feet and her knees dug into the gravel. She stretched her arms out in front of her to stop her face from hitting the ground. Panicked, the wind knocked out of her, she clawed out at the rocks, trying to move failing. Strange voices yelled around her, stilling her struggles.

"Stay still," Torque said against her ear.

Without moving, she tried to see what was going on. She had a clear view of the back parking lot, clear to the cabins. The shots were close, so whoever was out there must be right around the corner in front of the bar.

Two more shots rang out. She screamed before she could stop herself.

Torque kissed the side of her head. "It's okay, sunshine. They haven't spotted us."

"Who is it?" she whispered, all confidence of them getting inside the bar gone.

He shifted his weight, and brought his pistol up near her shoulder. "They're driving cages, so I'd bet money on Los Li."

"Oh, God." Her muscles seized. "M-my dad. I need to go see if he's with—"

"You're staying put." He shoved his pistol in her hand, wrapping her fingers around the warm steel, and then lifted his weight to the side of her. "The safety is off. It's cocked. You've got eight shots. You see anyone, you shoot, and you keep shooting until the gun clicks."