Grasping For Freedom (13 page)

"My dad's the only relative I have," she blurted, rubbing her fingers over the palm of her hand in worry. "He's got some issues that require me to make sure he stays home, so I can keep an eye on him."

"What's wrong with him?" he asked, leaning back.

"He's crazy," she said as if stating the car she drove was a Cadillac.

"And you take care of him," he stated, respecting her more for her dedication to her father when roles should be reversed and her father was the one who should take care of her. She deserved someone looking out for her, loving her, supporting her.

"Yes and no." She moistened her lips. "When he's content, he's capable of working and looking out for himself. The problem is, he has something inside of him that is stronger than being a responsible man, a father, a...I don't know, a normal, rational person. That craziness overrules his commonsense. So, I make sure he stays out of trouble and doesn't ignore his responsibilities. When he gets the urge to go off on his own, I worry about him doing harm to himself or someone else. He makes bad decisions and can lose every penny to his name in a matter of hours doing stupid shit."

He rubbed his hand over his jaw, keeping his opinion to himself. Normal father and daughter dynamics were out of his comfort zone. He had no idea how families worked, except for those who were Bantorus members and married. He also hated to see her working and worrying over a grown man, even if he was her dad.

"I take it that was your dad on the phone earlier?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes."

"But you're here, and he's...?"

"California," she said.

"Does he need money? Is it that the kind of trouble he's in?" Torque reached for her hand and held it between both of his. "I can help."

She sucked in air. "Don't do this," she whispered. "He's my responsibility."

"Sunshine, if it was one of my Bantorus brothers, I'd give everything I have to make sure they were safe and well. It's only money," he said, meaning it.

When he'd walked out from behind bars, nothing tied him down except Bantorus MC. He had a roof over his head, food in his gut, and a Harley to ride. Everything else was extra shit that meant nothing to him. He'd learned long ago that material things were useless when he had everything taken from him and the only thing that mattered was his freedom.

The way he saw it, Brandy's dad was stuck in his own prison without the ability of getting out on his own. Her dad owed his life to Brandy for being the kind of daughter who gave a damn, and someone needed to show her how much that meant to a person who literally was one day away from having his freedom stripped away.

Her hands shook. He raised his gaze and didn't like what he was seeing. Tears pooled in her eyes and her chin trembled. He was done for.

"Look at me." He waited until her attention came back to him. "I can't give you what most men can. I wish I could. Right now, I wish I were the man to bring you the happy back. I'm probably fucking this up by making you stay here, making you talk, making you hurt more, but I can't stop. And, I might not be able to give you what you deserve, but I can promise you that I will help you any way I can."

"Why?" she mouthed, no sound escaping her lips.

"I don't know," he muttered on a curse. "I've been places and done things that no woman should ever hear about. I need to protect you, and that includes protecting you against everything that's me."

"But you'll help?" she asked, leaning closer. "You'll give my dad money if that's what he needs?"

"In a heartbeat, sunshine. In a fucking heartbeat to get your happy back," he said.

She nodded, and kept nodding long after. Then she got up from the couch and paced in front of him. Her lips moved, and her gaze flittered around the room. He wanted to get up and go to her, but he held back. For how much he wanted to make the decision for her, she had to work out what was in her head on her own.

"This has nothing to do with money." She sat back down beside him. "I'm scared."

"Talk, sunshine," he said, leaning back and taking her with him. "You have my word. I'll protect you from anyone and anything."

She laid her head in the crook of his neck, her hand went to his stomach, and he absorbed the shakes he could still feel in her body. He swore to do whatever he could to erase her fears.

"Before I tell you what brought me to Pitnam, I want you to know how I got in the place I am. My mom committed suicide when I was sixteen. She suffered depression after taking care of my dad for years. I was the one who found her, because my dad had run off a few days before...he was chasing his own dreams even back then. Afterward, I don't know if he manifested his guilt over what happened, but when he's low, he's violent. I'm afraid he'll kill someone," she said, with no emotion as if everyone dealt with life crushing disasters every day."

"Jesus, sunshine, your mom—"

"It's okay. I'm okay. This is the only life I've known. It sucks when I really think about it, and I wish I could've saved my mom and knew what was happening, but I'm determined to save my dad," she said. "I need to stay strong for both of us, so let me be strong."

"Right." He closed his eyes, letting all the information she handed to him soak in. She never questioned his past, but trusted him. He could do the same for her.

She wound her arm around his middle, holding him tight. "Not long ago, we lost the bar my dad owned. The economy took a huge hit. The area we lived in had two other bars open up within three blocks and crippled our business, and we couldn't hold on. From there, my dad went on a rollercoaster of highs and lows. I tried to get him to agree to see a doctor, in case there was a medication that'd help him accept the changes in his life or calm him down—he's high strung, and he refused. I ended up finding work at a lounge on the other side of town to pay the bills, but that meant being away from him for long periods. Then one day, he disappeared. At first, I believed he'd come back in a day or two like he usually did, no worse for his absence, besides a black eye or broken finger from fighting. But, when four days went by, I knew something was wrong."

He opened his eyes, because she'd said her dad called her. That meant he was still alive.

"After two weeks, I was desperate to find him. I'd exhausted all the contacts he had, and had nowhere else to turn." She swallowed, and he felt the muscles in her body shift and the tension return. "Then one night a man showed up at the duplex and said he knew where my dad was and he'd take me to him. It turned out he's a really bad man. I'm scared of what he's going to do to my dad, to me...to you."

His arms tightened around her and he kissed the top of her head to keep from grabbing more ammo mags and riding out on his Harley after the mother fucker who had her running scared. "I don't need to hear the rest."

He understood so much more about her. Her dad was in trouble, she'd bailed him out, and somehow she ended up owing someone. Someone was blackmailing her—his gaze locked on to hers and he went back through everything that'd happened between them. The pressure in his head intensified as the pieces all came together, and he bit off, "Los Li."

One deep line between her brows appeared and she slowly nodded. "Yeah."

The shoulder Los Li ruined when they shot him twice spasmed, making him hurt all over again as if the injury was fresh instead of almost a year old. He ached to get up and walk the truth off. Her link to Los Li put him smack dab in the middle of protecting her and going to the club with the information.

"I need to tell you, so you can protect yourself." She scooted away from him and turned halfway on the couch to face him. "Los Li is using my dad, for what reason, I don't know. No doubt, they see him as a way to bring them money."

He sat forward and ran his hands through his hair. "And what are you doing here? Tell me you aren't coming after Bantorus. Do not tell me that."

"I can't," she said. "Radiant, that's the guy who came and took me to my dad—but he didn't. He blackmailed me into working at Cactus Cove and supplying him with information on Bantorus MC in return for freeing my dad. If I didn't come and work for Bantorus MC, Radiant was going to put me to work as 'a bitch' within Los Li in exchange to get my dad out of there. I'm not a bitch..."

"What the fuck?" He stood and walked over to the chair where he'd placed his cell phone.

Brandy jumped up and followed him. "Please, listen. Please."

"Give me a sec, sunshine," he bit off.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He looked away from her. She was working for Los Damn Li, and the fucking Mexican mafia. He rubbed his shoulder. The same motherfuckers who put two caps in him and walked away scotch free. No retaliation, no payback, no fucking nothing.

"Torque, I had—"

"Don't." He held up his hand and pointed straight at her. "Don't talk."

Fury deafened him. Los Li had made their way right into the core of the family, and none of them had suspected a thing. Already tense and jumpy, he wanted to ride out and retaliate. They'd used a woman who was alone, frightened to death for her father, and...

Brandy hugged her middle and waited silently for him to react. He should've known. He'd questioned her about the car she drove. He should've fucking known, but he was panting after Brandy and blind to what was happening around him with all the changes in Pitnam with Gladys retiring, and wasn't thinking.

He walked into the kitchen, opened the bottle of Motrin, and popped four pills in his mouth, not bothering with water. The pills barely made it down his constricted throat.

Most of all, he wanted to go after blood.

Brandy had no choice but to try to save her father, and walked right into a trap. She'd done the only thing possible. He braced his hands on the counter and let his head fall between his arms. He unknowingly took advantage of her, having no idea the turmoil in her life, and that fact settled on his shoulders weighing him down.

She was fighting to save the only family member she had left. Even while she struggled, she gave and gave more of herself to him than anyone had before. That point wasn't lost on him.

"Sunshine..." He pushed off the counter and turned around. "Come here."

She moved and stood directly in front of him, not touching, not stroking, and not leaning her warm body against him. He'd done this to her. She was afraid of being herself, afraid of the consequences, afraid of Bantorus. Afraid of him.

They might not know shit about each other, but he knew her. He knew the kind of person she wanted to be if given a half fucking second to live her own life.

Instead of waiting for her to wrap her arms around him, he stepped forward and embraced her. He cradled her head against his chest. It was time he gave to her, instead of taking.

"Tomorrow, we'll go, meet with Rain, and take the problem to the club," he said.

She stiffened. "No, Torque. He'll never understand."

"He has to know. I'll protect you, and I'll get your father away from Los Li, but you do not mention one more thing to Radiant," he said. "Swear to me."

She nodded against him. "I promise."

The situation worse than he ever imagined, he tried to figure out what Bantorus MC could do for her. All of the options brought danger to every single one of them, the town, and the club. He inhaled deeply. Los Li would pay. They'd pay for hurting his woman personally.

His chest tightened.
His woman?

His loyalty had always been with Bantorus Motorcycle Club. Bantorus until death. The only time a woman came before club was if the woman was an old lady. There was no hesitation in what he had to do, because he wasn't going to walk away. Not this time. Not with Brandy.

"I should've known...," he whispered hoarsely, his throat closing. "I should've fucking protected you from the start."

He needed to safeguard her, and the only way he could do that was if she wore his stamp. Because he owed Bantorus MC for his freedom, he had to take the right steps and put everything on the table. That's the only way he could protect her.

He'd have the whole family behind her, but she had to know what she was getting into with him. She deserved to know the truth of who he was.

"
Babe
," she said, stroking his cheek bringing him back into focus. "It's not your fault. I should've told you before we got to this point, but I thought I could do what they asked of me and everything would be okay."

His heart squeezed, because her jack shit nickname in her big ass attitude and bravery, tore down walls he had no plans to break down.

"I can protect you." He filled his lungs and pushed through the desire to run out right now and head to California to pay back those sons of bitches for hurting her. "But there are a couple things you need to know about me before you make the decision to let me help, and you're not going to like what I tell you."

Her head titled to the side. "What?"

"I spent seven years in the state penitentiary for murder. I made connections inside, so when I got out, I hitched a ride to Pitnam where I walked into Rain's office—no money to my name, no bike, nothing but the clothes I had when they stripped me down. I pledged my loyalty to Bantorus MC, and that's never going to change. When I told you I'm an asshole, I meant it. My blood runs Bantorus, and I'm not giving you the choice of keeping this secret between us. But, I can guarantee you protection from the club, from Los Li, and provide you with everything you need to get your dad back and to never be scared again for the rest of your life, if you'll be my woman."

"No..." She shook her head.

"Listen." He placed his hands on each side of her face and forced her to look at him. "The only way I can protect you is by telling you the truth, and claiming you as my old lady. I know it's hard to hear and I don't blame you for what you're thinking. But, I'll do right by you."

"Claiming me?" she said.

"Before you get it in your head that this is temporary, it is not. You'll probably end up hating me many times before this is over, and sunshine, I'll make sure it works out because that's my job. That's what I have to offer you. You need protection. I can get that for you...if you're my woman."