Grasping For Freedom (7 page)

Usually guilt escaped him. He'd ride the high, and leave before he ever settled his mind. Something happened back there when she'd hugged him. Her arms calmed him, and cleared his head. He enjoyed himself too much. What they shared seemed too similar to what always remained out of his grasp, and he was never allowed to have, and that made seeing Brandy again dangerous.

"Hey." Rain whistled, lifting his chin.

Torque took in Rain's location and without turning around to see if the cabin was in view, he knew his game was over. He veered over to the sidewalk and met Rain at the side of the building, knowing exactly what was going to happen. "What's up?"

"Everyone comes to the table tomorrow at three." Rain glanced to the left toward the cabin. "Be there, or we come looking for you. You'll be going against the vote."

There were a million excuses he could use to make the situation better. Every lie would've been easier to say than the truth. Rain wouldn't know if he was only returning Brandy's car keys or he'd forgotten one of his tools in her car or she'd asked him to check on her sticking door. But, he'd take responsibility for his actions. He'd fucked up. Big time.

He nodded. "I'll be there."

Club honor came first in his life. He'd broken a rule, and he'd take his punishment.

Rain left him alone. He walked over to his bike. Besides Rain, he'd been in the club more years than even Slade, the VP. A few times during his membership, he'd had to turn down the offer to stand at Rain's right side. It was nothing personal, because he respected his prez, his club, and his brothers. He preferred to distance himself, and not be disappointed.

Only Rain knew why he spent time in prison, but his president never asked for the truth. He'd spent seven years of his life shut away, five of those years as an adult in the worst penitentiary in Washington.

Positive there were more brothers in the club who'd spent time behind bars, he wasn't alone, but that was their business, not his. He'd told no one else about his past.

Tomorrow, he'd go in front of his club and let his family vote on his punishment. He rubbed the top of his chest, below his shoulder. Their judgment felt a lot like walking into a cell and hearing the door clang shut. His freedom was at risk for doing the crime of having sex with Brandy. This time, he was guilty.

"Fuck," he muttered.

He moved over to his bike, ripped his helmet from the Velcro strap on the bitch seat, and slapped it down on his head. At least he'd be the example of what would happen to any of the other members who tried to touch Brandy. He pushed the bike and flipped up the kickstand. Even that fact brought him no comfort.

"Wait," Brandy called, jogging across the parking lot.

Her shadowed form took shape the closer she came to him. Her black hoody hung down over her hips, covering a pair of black jeans. The Converse without laces on her feet showed him how important it was for her to talk with him, because she hadn't even taken the time to tie her shoes. Hell, the consequences of having sex with her couldn't even penetrate the lust he once again felt for her.

His stomach tightened and he forced himself not to react out of need to push her away. Rain already knew what he'd done. He couldn't change anything, but he wouldn't hurt her any more than he already did. She wasn't a bitch, she was a lady. A lady who needed a fucked up felon like she needed a gangbang.

And, even though he noted the significant differences between them—their age, their station in life, their personalities, he still wanted her.

She shoved her hands in the pouch of her sweatshirt, breathing hard, hair swept behind her shoulders but still mussed from when he'd ran his hands through it. He sighed heavily. Her bright, focused eyes tore him apart.

"I need to tell you something," she said, barely above a whisper.

He shook his head. "It was great sex, sunshine. That's all it was meant to be."

She was old enough to understand relationships started over dinner and wine, not on an old mattress inside a cabin, behind a biker bar. He moved his handlebars, holding his Harley up with his feet.

"I know." She nodded unequivocally. "Of course, I know that. I came out here so you'd understand that I have no delusions or...or thoughts that we'll repeat having sex. I knew exactly what I was doing, and what you were doing. But, you'd left like I'd contaminated you and—"

"No." He dropped his gaze to the gas tank on his bike. "Walking out of that cabin had nothing to do with you."

She tilted her head to the side. "O—kay. Fine. Great. I misunderstood then, and I can stop sounding ridiculous and leave you alone. Good night."

She backed up two steps and walked away with her shoulders back and her head held high. Maybe her strength and acceptance was the reason why he said, "Brandy?"

She turned around quickly. "Yeah?"

Emotions he tried hard to ignore surfaced, stealing his breath. He owed her the truth. "I broke club rules going into your cabin tonight and taking advantage of you. There's a meeting tomorrow, and you won't have to worry any longer. I'll pay for hurting you."

"But that's—"

"My fault. I broke club rules. I knew what I was doing and I'd do it again. That's why I'm sorry." He leaned forward and rested his forearms on the handlebars of his motorcycle. "Take care of yourself. Rain's a good guy. He'll make sure you're protected and your job is safe."

She took a step toward him and stopped. "I wanted to have sex with you and I'm not afraid to tell Rain what happened. We're both adults and it's not fair for anyone else to judge you for what you do on your own time. I'll talk to Rain and explain everything. He can't hold you accountable for a stupid club rule."

"The club makes rules for a reason and if I would've held up my end, you wouldn't be out here talking to me," he said.

She shook her head. "I don't agree, so I'll be the one to make everything right again for you."

His shoulders relaxed. What she said was probably the sweetest thing he'd ever heard someone say to him. "I'll handle Rain. You'll be fine and better off after tomorrow. Get some sleep."

She remained standing there, hands tucked into her hoody, eyes on him. He couldn't take anymore, and started his Harley. She continued watching him. He put his feet on the ground, pushed, and backed his bike out of his parking spot for club members only.

Brandy ran forward and put her hand on his arm, stopping him. "You're not an asshole," she spoke over the sound of the engine.

He grinned, because she was getting sweeter every minute. She was also naive and young. She had no idea.

"Go home." He lifted his chin motioning toward the cabin.

Her fingers tightened on his arm. "Thank you."

"For what?" he said.

Her mouth tightened into a thin line. He almost missed the slight shake of her head, refusing to answer. Then she threw her arms around his neck, squeezing him tight, freezing him in position, unsure of what to do, because everything changed when she held him.

He cleared his throat. "Sunshine?"

She leaned back dropped her arms, and walked away without knowing what he wanted to say. He stayed on his bike until she hopped up on the porch of the cabin and opened the door. Only when she was safe, tucked into her little cabin, did he ride away. Instead of cleaning up the mess he'd made, he'd created more questions than answers.

He'd seen the flash of pain flicker in her gaze when she'd told him thank you. He didn't do anything to deserve those words, so why was she thanking him? What would make a woman her age so damn understanding?

He'd treated her like one of the Bantorus bitches. From experience, he knew no one had taken away her choices during sex before. He'd forced her to let him do what he wanted, and she damn well got off on the power trip. Another man would've cherished such a willing participant, and showed her a good time. Hell, she almost seemed grateful to him and he hadn't done one damn thing special.

B
randy's plan to sleep the day away and ignore the world on her day off after a fitful night of worrying about Torque ended when the pre-paid cellphone rang. She grabbed the phone and answered after the first ring.

"Hello?" she said.

"Afternoon, baby," Radiant said, his tone upbeat as if he hadn't gone to sleep and still rode whatever drug high he was on from the night before. "Let's hear what kind of information my girl has for her new family."

Her stomach rolled. She'd never claim Los Li as her family. If she had a choice, she would never have gone to them asking for help. Her dad was her main concern.

"First, tell me about my dad? Is he okay?" she said, bunching the blanket to her middle to cover her naked body as if Radiant would be able to see her sleeping in the nude.

"Baby, baby, baby..." Radiant chuckled on an exhale. "I told you to trust me."

"Please, tell me if you've seen him," she said, leaning forward. "Does he seem...okay?"

What she wanted to know was if he was fighting and getting in trouble. When he'd come up missing, he'd left everything behind.

"He's fine," Radiant said. "Now, tell me what you've learned. I want every little detail, no matter how insignificant you believe it may be."

She pressed her hand to her forehead. "Uh, I heard Rain mention a ride in two weeks...twelve days from now, I guess. A man named Remmy is going, but I don't know who else."

Out of all the conversations she'd overheard between Rain and Bruce, Torque's name was the one that came up the most, but she purposely left out that information. She'd do anything to reunite with her dad, but talk was talk and not significant. For all she knew, Bantorus members hadn't chosen a team of riders for the job.

"What else?" Radiant said. "Think hard, baby. Use that pretty head of yours for something. We need more."

She closed her eyes and swallowed. God, she couldn't fail.

"I don't know anything else. I'm learning more of their names though. There's a big guy...Orca, but I don't know what he does for the club. Um, Pete, he's older and runs a garage here in Pitnam. Sh-Shift's Garage is the name. I tried to come up with an excuse to get the car you gave me into the garage to find out which Bantorus members worked there, but one of the members looked at the Cadillac in the parking lot instead. H-he questioned me about the car being owned by Los Li."

"What was his name?"

She clenched her teeth together, realizing her mistake. "It's...his name is Torque."

"All right, baby. Now we're getting somewhere." Radiant's voice lowered. "Tell me about Torque, and I'll see about you having a conversation with your daddy in the future."

"There's not much to say. He looked at the car, fixed some part—even though I didn't know anything was wrong with it. Then he gave me back my keys," she said, hoping that would be enough, and Radiant would understand that she didn't appreciate knowing she drove a car he'd used for Los Li business.

"So Torque's able to work now..."

She sucked in a breath, hoping Torque wasn't Radiant's target. "What do you mean?"

"Where's Torque during the day normally?"

"I-I don't know that." Her breath whooshed out and she hurried to continue. "They have a meeting today at three o'clock. I'm going to hang around inside the bar, even though it's my day off. I think all the members of Bantorus will be there."

"Good, baby." He paused. "It's almost time for that meeting, don't be late. You'll receive another call tonight. Make sure you answer, and I'll make sure your dad's near. If I approve of the information you bring me, you'll get to hear the old man's voice."

She threw off the blanket, afraid he'd hang up. "Please, can you—"

A click ended their conversation. She squeezed the cell in her hand, raised her arm—wanting to throw the stupid phone and yet knowing it was her lifeline to keeping her father alive, and muffled her scream of frustration. What did Radiant want from her?

She left the bed and paced the room. Nauseous and lightheaded, she walked out of the bedroom into the living area of the cabin and got a drink of water. After she'd soothed the burning pit in her stomach, she stared down into the sink.

Rain was the president. Slade was the VP. Torque, Remmy, Jedman, and Bruce seemed like they were in some kind of leadership role on equal footing with Slade and only listened to Rain. She'd met the prospects and other members like Orca, Pete, and Jimmy, who seemed to go to Torque and even Bruce for information as if they were lower in status within the club. She set her glass in the sink. That meant she had six bikers who would have information that Radiant wanted. But which biker was he interested in?

Torque's name had brought more excitement from Radiant on the phone. She braced her hands on the counter and let her chin fall to her chest. Even though she'd had sex with Torque, she knew absolutely nothing solid about him.

She assumed he worked at the garage too, since he fixed her car. He came in often during the day and night, only to disappear into Rain's office or talk to the other bikers. As of yet, she hadn't seen him visit the bitches cabin. The fingers on his left hand were bare, she'd doubled and tripled checked to make sure he wasn't married—although, Rain didn't wear a ring and he was very, very married.

She stomped her foot, frustrated with her lack of knowledge.
Think, think, think.

Torque dominated conversations, had little use for chitchat, and couldn't give a care what other people thought of him, including her. He'd warned her off as if he had a motive to be a loner.

He wasn't all bad. She bit down on her lip, remembering how he'd made sure she found pleasure last night before he did. He definitely wasn't an asshole. When he'd left, he could've kept walking, but he explained how he'd screwed up.

She balled her hands and thumped the counter. She wasn't blameless like he claimed. Her goal here was to save her father, not screw a biker.

She had no idea the bikers were held to the rule of not having sex with an employee of Bantorus. Protection was one thing, and she liked knowing she was safe, but she was an adult and could decide who and when to have sex on her own without anyone's permission. Rain telling her she was protected while she worked for him was quite different than telling her she was banned from sleeping with a MC member.