GLBTQ (21 page)

Been There:

“Drugs and alcohol can be a problem for many GLBTQ men and women. It makes us feel temporarily like our problems are gone and life is great. But the truth is the more you do, the worse you feel. Life just gets worse. Relationships fall apart and people get hurt.”
—Ben, 18

Some people believe the stereotypes that all or most GLBTQ people drink, smoke, and use drugs. While the bar and club scene does have a place in GLBTQ culture, the idea that all queer people party and use drugs and alcohol is far from true.

In an interview with GayHealth.com, Michele Fitzsimmons, outreach coordinator for the Lesbian AIDS Project, said that GLBTQ teens tend to gravitate toward queer bars and clubs because they're some of the only places teens feel comfortable expressing their sexuality. “When you're coming out, your self-esteem might be shaky,” Michele says. “It's very easy to slip into a situation where [drug and alcohol use] becomes an addiction or that use puts the user at risk.”

Bars and clubs aren't supposed to admit people under 21, but many teens still sneak in illegally. Unfortunately, the bar and club scene can be dangerous. People desperate for acceptance may drink to fit in or smoke to strike up a conversation. Others might take ecstasy or crystal meth to boost their confidence or feel relaxed. If you find yourself in a club tempted to try these substances, remember the effects they can have on you. And remember, not all GLBTQ people in clubs drink, smoke, or use drugs. It's definitely not a requirement to fit in.

Being in a bar or club requires staying alert. Many people in clubs aren't thinking clearly or using good judgment because they've been drinking or using drugs. Others may be sober but looking to harm or take advantage of people. So be smart. For example, if you want something to drink, get it yourself. Don't let someone you don't know very well bring you any kind of drink—even bottled water. No matter how nice she might seem, she could easily slip GHB (G), ketamine (Special K), Rohypnol (roofie), or another substance into it. If you're under 21, it's illegal to be in a bar or club, so even if you don't use drugs or alcohol, just being in these establishments can lead to severe consequences that have a negative impact on your life.

In the United States, turning 21 is considered a huge rite of passage. Many young people look forward to being able to legally drink. Many teens can't wait to try alcohol. But amid all this excitement, it's easy to forget that alcohol is a drug that can cause a lot of problems. Many people—not just teens—have misconceptions about how alcohol affects the body.

Here are some common myths:

When you're feeling stressed or depressed, having a drink will make things better.
How many times have we heard people exclaim, “I need a drink!” after a tough day? GLBTQ teens do have a lot to deal with, but alcohol won't help you forget bad feelings or problems. In fact, it can compound them. Alcohol is a depressant that slows down your brain. Drinking it can contribute to depressed feelings and prevent you from thinking clearly. While it might seem like alcohol is giving you a lift, it's actually bringing you down. Alcohol use can also negatively impact the quality and duration of sleep, which can negatively affect your body and intensify feelings of depression.

Drinking makes you look cool or mature.
For GLBTQ teens, the idea that drinking can help them fit in—whether they're at a high school party or a 21-and-over club—can be attractive. But alcohol won't suddenly make someone popular or fit in. In fact, underage drinking can cause you to behave around others in ways that you later regret. It also can give people the wrong impression about you and what's important to you.

Drinking will help you meet people.
Maybe you think having a drink or two will help you relax and be more social, but meeting people while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs is not the way to put your best foot forward. If you're looking for meaningful relationships and new friends, you won't come across as your best self if you're tipsy or flat-out drunk. You could say or do embarrassing things—things you'd never do or say when you're sober. Or you might end up making decisions about things like sexual contact or drinking and driving that you later regret.

Been There:

“During the nine months that I was drinking, I didn't meet one person who I knew was gay. Once I could stop drinking, I made several gay friends and, ultimately, started to date again. Although I came out to my father and to all my friends when I was 16, it was almost like coming out again once I stopped drinking. I met a lot of new people and came to terms again with who I am.”
—Blake, 20

By refusing to drink, you're looking out for yourself and showing confidence in who you are. What's more, you can say no to drinking without feeling awkward, self-conscious, or like a prude. Here are some tips for turning down alcohol, even when others are pressuring you.

• Order a drink, but buy club soda and lime or something else nonalcoholic. Just holding a nonalcoholic drink may help you feel more comfortable.
  
• If someone asks you if you want a drink, say, “No, thanks,” or hold up your cranberry juice and say, “I've got one,” or say “I'd rather go dance.”
  
• Be a designated driver. At some clubs, designated drivers get unlimited free nonalcoholic drinks.
  
• If someone brings you a drink anyway, you don't have to accept it. Again, hold up your soda and say, “Thanks, but I'm good.” A real friend's not going to pressure you to drink.
  
• Be supportive of friends who choose not to drink.
  

Did you know that GLBTQ teens are more likely than their straight peers to use tobacco? A study published in the
Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine
showed that gay, lesbian, and bisexual teens reported much higher use of cigarettes and smokeless tobacco than heterosexual teens.

A National Youth Advocacy Coalition report released in 2010 also examined smoking among GLBTQ teens. The report showed that unique stressors, such as discrimination and lack of family acceptance, contributed to higher rates of tobacco use. It also revealed that many queer young people see smoking as an important social activity. In fact, of the teens surveyed, only 28 percent reported having never smoked. The average age at which respondents began smoking was 15.

For decades, the tobacco industry—a group of companies that makes their money from getting people addicted to something that can and does kill—has used ads, product placements, and other messaging vehicles to convince us that smoking is cool and will improve the quality of our lives. Some of this advertising has been aimed directly at young and queer people. Think about who they're targeting—
you
.

Documents from the tobacco industry that have been made public consistently show Big Tobacco targets teens with its marketing messages. Big Tobacco also targeted queer people in the 1990s with a marketing project called Project Subculture Urban Marketing, known inside the major tobacco company R.J. Reynolds as Project SCUM. Are those the kinds of companies you want to support?

If you're feeling isolated or eager to meet others, smoking can seem like a good social link or a way to approach others. Some people like to use lines like, “Got a light?” or “Can I bum a smoke?” when they want to meet someone.

Nicotine, a powerful and addictive chemical in tobacco, can make smoking easy to start but hard to stop. It provides smokers with a rush that can feel very satisfying—many people are hooked at once. Studies show it is more addictive than heroin. Nicotine cravings can be so intense that people are willing to stand outside in pouring rain or subzero weather to get their fix. If you doubt how tough it can be to quit, just think about how many advertisements you see for stop-smoking programs, gums, patches, and pills.

GLBTQ teens sometimes turn to smoking for a release from daily stresses. These young people use smoking as a way to relax or relieve some of the depressed feelings they might have. Tobacco might give them a temporary feeling of relief, but it's just that—temporary. And it comes at a steep cost—increased heart rate, decreased stamina, decreased lung capacity, and increased risk of developing cancer. That's not to mention the price of cigarettes or the unavoidable foul-smelling breath, clothes, and hair.

If you're still not convinced that smoking is bad for you, consider this:

According to the Centers for Disease Control, tobacco is one of the biggest causes of preventable and premature death in the United States, claiming the lives of more than 440,000 people each year. And roughly 90 percent of cigarette smokers become addicted before the age of 19.

Just as with alcohol and tobacco, GLBTQ teens have higher rates of drug use than their straight peers do. It's not that queer teens are fundamentally prone to substance abuse. It all comes down to stress and depressed feelings. Some GLBTQ teens desperately want to feel better, and they think using drugs will help them relax and fit in with others. In the end, drugs don't work any better than drinking or smoking. They won't improve your life or help you feel good about who you are.

Been There:

“I started doing drugs when I was nine. I tried to fit in with that crowd and hide my ‘secret identity.' By the time I was 13, I was put in drug rehab. . . . My rehab counselor told me I wasn't going to be able to stop using unless I was true to myself. I went home and thought about what he said. The next day I started coming out to friends.”
—Sam, 15

Instead of solving problems, drugs compound them. When you're feeling depressed, drugs make you feel a little better at first, but then, as the effects wear off, much worse (similar to the effects of alcohol). Some drugs can make you feel like you're stuck in a bottomless pit or out of control. If you're feeling stressed, drugs that are supposed to make you happy often leave you feeling paranoid, jittery, or out of control. In general, drugs are unpredictable. You don't really know what you're getting, and you can't be sure how they're going to make you feel.

If you like to go out dancing or to raves, it's likely you'll come across drugs like crystal meth, ecstasy, ketamine, marijuana, or GHB. These so-called club drugs can be just as dangerous and unpredictable as any other drugs. It can be tempting to think they'll help you forget about the teasing at school or the fight you had with your parents about your girlfriend, or that they'll make it easier to let go and party. It doesn't work that way. Drug use always has consequences, whether or not they're immediately apparent. Not only do drugs damage your body and your judgment, they're also illegal and could get you in trouble with the law.

Even if you're not using drugs yourself, someone else's drug use could get you into serious trouble. Never ride with someone who is drunk or high, even if she swears to you that she's sober. If you have a license, offer to drive her somewhere. But even if she refuses, don't get in the car with her. If you do, you're putting your life in her hands.