From the Shadows (A Shadow Chronicles Novel) (18 page)

As we sat in the Waffle House eating pork chops and baked potatoes, the companionable silence we’d endured for the last few hours—in which
Race had also dozed off—was broken by Race asking me to tell him about the pack I belonged to. I told him about the Alpha couple, Tom Wilson and Martha Jensen, who were actually brother and sister and not mates. When he asked why that was, I replied that it was one of the old traditions even the open packs still clung to, that an Alpha pair had to both be werekind. Since the passing of the last Beast Master, it had gone from being mates to being brother-sister to keep that tradition going, and in the absence of one or the other—such as an Alpha candidate being an only child or without an opposite sex sibling—then the closest relative of the opposite sex was generally named Alpha.

Both of us paused and looked at one another, and I knew he was having the same thought I was: that everything kept coming back around to the ritual.

Shaking that thought away, I moved on to some of the membership of our pack. First person I mentioned was one of my best friends, Jake Anderson. Race scowled when I spoke of how close Jake and I were, how the Malamute shifter was always the first person I thought of when I called for back-up, but I admonished him by gently reminding him he had nothing to be jealous of. Jake and I were just friends. Besides, I pointed out, I hadn’t gotten jealous when he mentioned having shared a bed with the first vampire he’d ever met. Therefore he had no business getting jealous over Jake.

“No, but you did threaten to yank her fangs out and shove them down her throat,” Race reminded me with a grin. “Do I need to do the same with your buddy Jake, or any of them other yahoo barkers?”

This time it was I who frowned. “No, you don’t,” I said firmly, stopping myself from adding that while Jake and I had never slept together (the boy I’d had sex with in high school had moved out of state ages ago), he had seen me naked more than once. Nudity was simply a factor of life when one was two-natured, and both males and females had to get comfortable seeing the other in naught but their skin fairly quickly.

Especially in the first few months, when spontaneous shifts could happen as quick as a mood swing and clothing was more likely to be destroyed.

After our meal, we’d just gotten back on the road and the sky was beginning to turn a rather pretty combination of orange and pink when Lochlan suddenly woke up, gasping and sitting up sharply so fast that I was startled.

“What?
Where?” he mumbled. “Oh, the car. Right.”

“Are you alright?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Quite well, my dear. Thank you for asking—though my right arm and hip are a might sore.”

“That’s probably because they were hanging off the edge of the seat the whole time you were asleep, dude,” Race told him.

“Yes, I suppose that would explain it.”

I heard sniffing sounds from behind me then, fol
lowed by, “I smell pork. Cooked pork, not the raw kind my sister used to keep handy.”

I cleared my throat. “Race and I actually just got done eating dinner,” I said.

“Sorry we didn’t think to bring a waitress for you to snack on the rest of the way,” Race added darkly.

I reached over and smacked his arm. “That was not necessary.”

Race only shrugged as Lochlan replied, “It’s quite alright, fair Juliette. Given whom your multi-faceted lover previously worked for, his snarky comment is of little surprise to me. I imagine it is born of his guilty conscience, as I’ve no doubt he was the take-out delivery boy.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Race’s expression darken
, and he reached for the buckle of his seatbelt. “Don’t even think about it twice, pretty boy,” I said sharply.

“Oh, so it’s okay for him to insult me but not for me to punch his lights out for it?” Race bit out angrily.

Though his tone caused irritation to flare, my voice was surprisingly calm as I said, “I shouldn’t have to point out that you antagonized him first with that smart-assed comment you made—though to answer your question, neither, in fact, is okay. Not his insulting you, nor you punching his lights out for it.”

“I admire your willingness to come to my defense, my fair Juliette, but I should not have to remind you that shifters and vampires are natural enemies. It is—”

“Yeah, I know. It’s in your nature to fight, and when you can’t you resort to witty repartee. I remember this little speech, Lochlan,” I retorted.

I looked into the rearview mirror and saw Lochlan shrug. He then said, “Some of us need not resort to physical violence to
resolve our issues. We’re more evolved than the Neanderthal and prefer vocal evisceration. So much more sophisticated, don’t you think?”

Race growled deep in his chest and reached for his seatbelt again. I
reached over to stop him and then caught Lochlan’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “Let me make something clear right now, to both of you: I will
not
tolerate you sniping at each other like children—and I sure as hell won’t put up with actual fighting. I love you both, and like it or not you are both a part of my life—which means you’re going to have to learn to get along. There is no other option because I can’t bear to lose either one of you.”

A long moment of silence followed my declaration. No doubt they were both rather stunned by what I had just said—for that matter, so was I. But every word I said was true; I knew that as sure as I’d seen the sun go down half an hour ago. Never in my life did I think I’d ever care so much about a vampire, but I did. Lochlan had done something for me that I sometimes felt I could never repay, and for that he had my eternal gratitude. He was fun to be sarcastic with. He loved his sister as much as I loved my brother. And though he hid his feelings behind his
snark, I knew he cared about me too, though I honestly couldn’t figure out why. I suppose it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that we’d been able to see past our differences and we’d forged a strong friendship.

And Race… He was my childhood crush. He was a man whom I’d seen stand up to a vampire twice his size. He’d walked a
way from a life that had left him consumed with guilt. And he had been there for me when I needed to let go, to release some of the pent up pain that had been my constant companion these last three weeks. He had held me and soothed me while I cried, and the next morning he had made love to me in a way that reminded me what it was like to be treated with care. Race had declared himself mine and sworn that there was no other for him but me, and he had promised that he would not force me to do anything I wasn’t ready for.

Yeah. I loved them both.

Of course, while I knew that as truth, I was not so naïve as to believe they’d stop baiting one another just because I had told them to. They were, after all, two men who both cared about the same woman. I had observed that they both felt protective—even possessive—of me, so naturally their respective relationships to me were going to cause some friction. And while I could admit that it made me feel safe and loved to have so many macho men (my brother included) looking out for me, I also knew that I wanted them all to accept that I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. And that infighting would only serve to cause me pain. My hope was that Race and Lochlan could do as Lochlan and I had done—put their differences aside.

After my speech silence reigned supreme, broken only by my asking Lochlan if he wanted me to pull over so he could get behind the wheel—it was, after all, his car we were in. He declined politely. Hoping to lighten the tension that had drifted over our little group, I then remarked that I was surprised he was awake even though the sun had gone down—given how long he’d been up, he hadn’t really slept for long. Lochlan then reminded me that he had trained himself to be a night sleeper, so he didn’t require as many hours of sleep as his more nocturnally inclined brethren. The only reason he’d slept during the day at all, he said, was because his sleep schedule had been interrupted by the events of three weeks before.

Which I knew as the Day of Hell.

The closer we got to home, the more nervous I became. I hadn’t set foot there, hadn’t seen or spoken to my mother, in two weeks. My father, as far as I knew, thought I was visiting with friends I hadn’t seen since I’d left for my year in England. Mom might be a little peeved I was going to see Mark first, but no doubt she’d get a phone call from him or Saphrona and be there within minutes. Seeing my mother would be hard, especially given how much I knew she had likely worried about me. It would be my own fault of course, but I think deep down she’d understand my need to get away. So while she’d be mad at my not having told her where I was going, she’d be okay with why I left.

Mark, on the other hand… My brother was a Marine. As he had recently reiterated, Marines didn’t back down from a fight. I was sure that in his mind, I’d have been better off staying home and facing my demons where they lived. What I think he failed to grasp was that they lived in my head, and as such had gone with me even though I’d essentially run away. For that matter, it wasn’t even home I was running away from. It was all the concern for my welfare, the way he and Saphrona and Mom walked on eggshells whenever they were around me, as if talking about what had happened would be bad for me or set me off.

Um, hello! Talking about it was precisely what I
should
have been doing all along, not trying to forget it had even happened. That hadn’t worked out too well for me: Despite my excellent reputation at work, I knew that I was also known for being jumpy, and my reluctance to be touched—especially by men—had not gone unnoticed. I had nightmares every night that forced me to re-live the torture I’d endured, though each day following I’d act as if I was perfectly fine. Or I tried to. Who knows what kind of a basket case I’d have become had I not met Race and felt compelled to share my story with him?

In the end, going to Cleveland had been a blessing for me, in more ways than one. I’d finally acknowledged the attack. I had reunited with an old friend and that friend turned out to be my
soulmate. Learning some of what Race had been through the last sixteen years had prompted me to make the decision to return home. As I crossed into the city limits and headed for the rural district my nerves increased their jittering, but at the same time, I felt a sense of coming full circle. I was back where I belonged, and looking over at Race, I saw my feelings reflected in his eyes.

He looked back at me with a grin,
then turned his attention to our surroundings. “It looks almost exactly the same as when I left,” he said incredulously, “except it’s a lot bigger.”

I chuckled. “The wonders of a population increase, my dear. That and the fact that a certain vampire brought his business to town about five years
ago, and with it more jobs,” I said.

“Which vampire would that be?” Race asked.

“My father,” Lochlan replied.

“How…magnanimous of him.”

Lochlan chuckled. “Aye. Never hurts the economy to create new jobs.”

I cleared my throat as I turned a corner, and wiped my suddenly sweaty palms on my legs. “You all right there, Jules?” Race asked me.

“I’m fine. I think,” I said, then laughed nervously. “Aw hell, who am I kidding? Part of me is afraid Mark’s gonna scream at me again for scaring everyone, and part of me is afraid he’s gonna crack a couple ribs with his welcome home hug.”

“Well, I shan’t remind you, then, that you could have avoided both simply by informing your brother of your intentions before your departure,” Lochlan said in a light I-told-you-so voice.

I stuck my tongue out at him in the rearview, at which the vampire merely laughed.

The closer I got to Saphrona’s farm—especially when I turned onto her street—the more nervous I got about seeing my brother. I knew I really had no reason to be, or at least thought I shouldn’t. After all, Mark had already expressed his displeasure with me yesterday—surely he’d just be glad to see me? There was also Race’s reintroduction to our lives and his role in mine in particular…and the lives of all werekind. I shuddered as the Sword of Damocles swung ever closer to my head. Just being back in town seemed to increase the pressure I felt about the ritual.

“So, uh…” Race spoke up suddenly. “Think Mark will be happy to see me?”

“Sure—” I began, only to be interrupted by Lochlan.

“Happy to see you, certainly—being an old friend and all,” he said. “Happy to learn you’re shagging his sister, I am less certain of.”

“Lochlan!”
I cried out, looking over my shoulder to see that he was, of course, smirking. When I looked over at Race, I noted that he was actually trying vainly to hide a smile.

“
Heh, yeah… Don’t suppose you’re wrong about that one, bloodsucker,” he mused.

My already thrumming heart moved into a staccato rhythm as I turned up the long driveway of the Caldwell farm. Pulling abreast of the house, I noted that both Mark’s and Saphrona’s trucks were in the driveway. The doors to the brand-new barn—paid for by her father—stood open. I took a deep, steadying breath as I turned the engine off and pulled the keys from the ignition, blindly tossing them over my shoulder to their owner. I heard Lochlan catch them as Race reached over and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, then looking at each other, we seemed to mutually agree that it was now or never.