From the Shadows (A Shadow Chronicles Novel) (17 page)

“You don’t want to do it,” Race said after a moment.

I looked at him. “It’s not so much that I don’t
want
to, Race,” I said. “It’s that I’m scared to. I certainly don’t think of you as anything like them, but I was raped by two vampires. Just the thought of having someone drink my blood makes me think of them, and it sickens me. And I’m scared of giving someone the power to end my life just by dying himself. I’m scared of having that power over someone else.”

“And to put the icing on the cake, now you have to deal with
knowing that if we don’t do this, there’s no telling when another chimaera will be born who can give werekind the chance to find mates among each other.”

I nodded silently, and he dropped onto the other arm of the now-useless piece of furniture on which I was perched. “No pressure, right?” he asked with a mirthless chuckle. The he sighed. “I’ll be honest with you, Jules, I’m not so sure I like any of that shit either. Don’t like the thought of drinking blood because no, I don’t want to have anything in common with the leeches. And I sure as hell can’t stand the idea of you dying just because I did.”

“The magic wants us to complete the bond. The longer we wait, the stronger it will fight to make us. There will be a lot of epic sex, no doubt of that, but if we don’t do the ritual we’re likely to have more episodes like the one we just did, blowing up at each other for no reason.”

“Going through with this will keep us from fighting over nothing?”

“So I’ve heard.”

Further discussion was put on hold when the contractor hired by the apartment manager showed up. Since there was more cleaning to be done, I set about it as Race helped him fix the door and the jam
b. When the door frame was finished and the contractor gone, when the apartment was as clean as I could get it, we gathered what little Race had to take with him and walked out, locking the new deadbolt behind us. We didn’t speak to one another as we walked down to ground level, located the Escalade in the parking lot, and headed for it. After stowing Race’s meager belongings in the cargo area with mine, we climbed into the front. I looked over my shoulder at Lochlan, who was fast asleep across the third-row bench seat, and smiled slightly at how peaceful he looked even though one leg and one arm was hanging over the edge. Then I looked at Race and my smile widened. Despite the tension that now existed between us, he was my mate. Just looking into his hazel eyes and seeing him look back at me lightened my heart.

Race grinned as well, and reaching for my hand, he lifted it to his lips and kissed the back of it. I gave his hand a squeeze and started to pul
l away, but he held me fast.

“Sweetheart, I’m
gonna need that hand to drive,” I said lightly.

“I kno
w,” he replied. “I just wanted to hold it a little longer.”

With a sigh he released my hand and I started the car.

***

By my calculations, w
e were set to arrive at Saphrona’s shortly before nightfall. Before pulling out of the parking lot, I glanced at the fuel gage and saw that Lochlan had prepared in advance for his return trip home by filling up the gas tank. Good, I’d thought, because it meant I wouldn’t have to stop for gas along the way—though I would have to stop at least once for Race and I to go to the bathroom. Lochlan, of course, was out cold, and wasn’t likely to wake until after the sun went down.

For the first hour or so of the trip Race and I were silent. I was sure he was reliving our last conversation in his head, going over it in minute detail. And why shouldn’t he? I’d told him that completing the bond we shared meant he’d have to drink my blood.
It was the only way to settle our tumultuous emotional states, the only way to enable our fellow shapeshifters to find mates with other shapeshifters. Not, as I’d said before, that there was anything wrong with mating with humans. After all, every living werekind I’d ever met had a human parent. I had a human parent, and so did Race. But the old stories I’d heard growing up, especially after I had started phasing, said that pair-bondings where both people were two-natured were something special. And nearly every one of my shifter friends had a secret desire to bond with another shifter.

Once again I thought of Atlas, the Titan of Greek mythology
who was said to bear the weight of the world. It was an incredible responsibility that had been laid at our feet, one that I was certain we would not take lightly. It was something we would need to discuss again at length, and both of us would have to be comfortable with it before considering going through with it.

Then it suddenly occurred to me to wonder what others would think, not only when they found out Race was a chimaera, but when they found out that we would have to perform the ritual in order for unmated werekind to be able to bond with other
weres. I felt a small measure of dread trickle down my spine when it hit me that some of the more hardcore beasties would try and force us to go through with it. They might even demand to watch, as had been done in days past when females were expected to be virgins on their wedding night, to make sure we did it right.
As if I’d let that happen
, I thought. No way was anybody going to watch me having sex.

Then an even more maddening thought
crept across my consciousness: That some of the Family leaders might try to force Race into bonding with another woman—or more than one, for that matter. Because even though he was metaphysically tied to me, Race could still potentially create a bond with one or more females by performing the blood ritual. The Family leaders might well want to force him into taking on more than one mate, especially if I refused to follow through.

“No fucking way.”

“What was that Jules?” Race asked.

I hadn’t realized I’d spoken aloud. Clearing my throat I glanced at him sideways. “I was, uh, just thinking of the potential ramifications of us not going through with the ritual,” I said slowly.

“Yeah, me too,” he replied. “Can I ask what you were thinking?”

“Just that there are some werekind who are pretty hardcore traditionalists
. They place a lot of value into following the old ways, like watching a first mating to make sure that the female is a virgin and that the blood ritual is performed.”

“Are you serious? They actually watch people having sex just to see if a girl bleeds?”
Race asked, his tone shocked.

I nodded. “Sometimes even when the girl is still a teenager, as sometimes our kind do bond that young. We begin phasing when we’re fourteen, which you already know, and though fairly rare, some shifters have been known to bond immediately after they begin phasing. Some of the Families insist that tradition must be upheld and the bonding performed right away, others will wait until the girl is at least sixteen. Others are decent enough to wait until the girls are eighteen, but even they admit it’s damn difficult to keep a pair of mates from consummating the relationship as the bond demands for long periods of time.”

“Which is probably why they make them do it, no pun intended, right away,” he surmised. “But how do they work this shit out when one of a mated pair is human, as they have been for the last three hundred years?”

“There are some communities—few, to be sure—in which werekind live openly amongst humans. These are usually small towns
of just a few hundred where the shifter population outnumbers the human population, and the humans are sworn to secrecy since no one is supposed to know we exist unless that person is a mate. These towns are also usually a few miles shy of the Middle of Nowhere so that the chance of outsiders discovering the truth is limited.”

“And when the human mates come from outside these places?”

I shrugged. “The places where our kind live openly are mostly run by traditionalists, and the humans living there do so with the understanding that if they or their children end up being a mate, they are required to submit to the traditional rituals. Traditional Families use that as a way to control who their offspring bond to, as if they can actually control it,” I explained. “On the occasions where one bonds with an outsider, I assume they either find a way to make it happen or they wait. I really couldn’t say how they manage those occasions, as I wasn’t raised in a traditionalist community.”

“But ther
e are other shifters back home?” Race pressed.

“Oh yeah,” I said with a nod. “My mother and I are part of a pack. We’re all either Siberian Huskies or Alaskan
Malamutes. And there are some nomads who don’t belong to any particular pack; a couple of German Shepherds, a panther, and an eagle or two. I think. Besides my mother and I, I’ve an aunt and an uncle who are shifters, and some cousins. Oh, and there’s a wolf pack in Dayton and another in Dublin, a Shepherd pack in Marysville, and a small pride of panthers in McConnellsville. Truthfully, nearly every major city in every state has some number of shifters, even if it’s only a few. I’m really surprised you never ran into any in Cleveland—I can understand my not meeting any in two weeks, but you’ve been there what, a few years?”

“I’ve been working for Vienna for just under two years, which is how long I’ve lived in Cleveland. But she and Merrick, her major-dumbass, kept me pretty busy doing this, that, and the other. I really didn’t have a life of my own.”

Race shook his head in wonder, or perhaps to dispel bitter thoughts of his former employer and her henchman. “Man… Would have been so great if only Mom would have known about the pack,” he said. “What about kids? I mean, can a shifter only have kids with their mate?”

I felt myself tense unintentionally. My mother had explained her situation to me, and I understood it. I’d accepted it. But it still didn’t take from me the fear that one day mine and Mark’s father might be devastated all over again if she were forced to leave him.
He’d already lost one wife to circumstances beyond his control—he shouldn’t have to suffer through it again.

“No,” I said somewhat stiffly.
“We can bear children with anyone who is human, and because of this—and the fact that only mates are supposed to know the truth about us—casual sex with outsiders is frowned upon. Remember what I said before: it’s rare we don’t pass on the shifting genes.”

“What about with other shifters?”

I shook my head. “Oddly enough, we actually can’t have children with others of our kind. Most of us who decide to experiment with sex before meeting our mates tend to do so with other shifters, given there’s no risk of an unplanned pregnancy. However, history says we can breed with our fellow shifters when there is a Beast Master.”

Race snorted.
“Great—as if we didn’t have enough pressure hanging over our heads to do this ritual.”

I glanced
over briefly. “Yeah. Just another meatball on the spaghetti pile.”

A long moment of silence passed. “What other potential ramifications were you thinking of?
” Race asked suddenly. “I’m assuming by you telling me about the traditionalists you meant that they might try and force us to do the ritual for tradition’s sake, not to mention the whole bonding and breeding with other shifters bit?”

Laughing without humor, I nodded. “There is that, yeah. But
it also occurred to me that should it become known that I am hesitant, there are some Family leaders who would insist you create a blood bond with one or more other females. For that matter, there are women who would be more than willing to throw themselves at you for the chance to be the mother of future generations.”

“Jules, are you worried I’m
gonna bond with some other woman?” my lover queried, turning to face me. “That I’m gonna let some fanatical alpha I don’t know from Adam force me into a relationship, sexual or otherwise, with somebody other than you?”

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance…and failing miserably. “It could happen, Race. The wolf alpha in Dayton is someone who might well push the issue. Hell, if he could relocate his pack and start a new open community he would probably do it—he’s one of those hardcore traditionalists I told you about. Kevin Tracey is
not
someone you mess with.”

“Baby, look at me.
Jules, please?”

I glanced over and saw that Race was holding out his hand to me. Needing the comfort of his touch, I joined my right hand with his.

“Juliette, it will never happen,” he said firmly. “No matter what you and I decide—and it is
our
decision—I’m not about to let anybody force me into doing anything I don’t want to do. I told you that I was through with being owned when I walked away from Vienna Silk and I meant it. I also meant it when I said that there would be no other woman for me but you. All this pair-bonding stuff might be new to me, and maybe I haven’t seen your face for sixteen years, but I already can’t even imagine myself with anyone else.”

When he said those words, his tone sure and sincere, I freely admit that I smiled the biggest, goofiest grin. And those seeds of love that had been planted opened and began to grow.

***

With about two hours left on our trip, Race and I decided to stop for a bite to eat. It felt a little weird to be leaving Lochlan alone in the Escalade but he was still dead to the world
, so it wasn’t as if he’d even know we weren’t moving, let alone not in the car with him.