Friend-Zoned (25 page)

I was woken by Nik twice
during the night to make sweet, sweet love.
The first time I was on top. The second time he was on top and
realized that was the first time we’d done it missionary.
And it was mmm mmm good.
That way we could kiss and be firmly pressed together while doing
it.
It. Was.
Awesome
.
We’ve now been together a week. And it’s been wonderful.
I have no idea why I thought it would be bad if we slept
together.
Okay, so I was scared of becoming one of Nik’s many women but he’s
made it clear I’m the only one.
Yay!
I love him. I can say it
to myself easily now but I’m not ready to tell him yet. I’m quite
happy basking in the glow that is Nik.
The man is insatiable, which is good for me because I like sex with
Nik.
No, I
love
sex
with Nik.
I woke this morning and turned to look at my handsome man. And I
had a seriously hard time containing my laughter.
Nik had slept on his stomach with an arm under his pillow. His face
was pressed so tightly into the pillow that his lips had smooshed
and pursed together making his face look squished.
Seriously, cute.
So I did the only thing I could.
I grabbed his face and planted wet, smoochy kisses on his cheek,
eye and forehead while messing up his hair.
He groaned all the while but was smiling.
I smacked his butt, got out of bed and told him I was going to have
a shower. As expected, within a few minutes he’d joined me. So my
rendition of ‘Working 9 to 5’ somehow became a duet. Then we played
around in the shower.
It was
hot
.
Nik can really use his mouth. And I showed him I can use mine,
too.
This brings us to now.
I’m in Nik’s kitchen making crispy bacon and French toast for
breakfast. I’m making a lot because I don’t know when Ceecee and
Max will come home.
Nik has gone to shave and get dressed. It turns out I distract him
in the shower and he forgets what he needs to do in there.
Smiling to myself, I turn on the oven to keep our breakfast warm. I
look at the amount I made and cringe. I cooked enough to feed an
army.
Arms close around my waist and lift me. I yelp.
I turn to a chuckling Nik and push at his shoulder, “Dammit, Nik.
Every freakin’ time! You’re like a cat. I need to put a bell on
you.”
He’s dressed only in sweats so all his tattoos are on
display.
Yum.
With dancing eyes he
kisses the frown lines on my forehead and says, “Sorry, baby.
You’re just too easy.”
I sigh and ask, “Do you know when Max and Ceecee are getting
home?”
He looks at the oven clock which reads 9:37am. He replies, “Soon.
Keep the food warm and we’ll eat together. Even if they’ve already
eaten they’ll want food if you cooked it.” He squeezes my waist and
I smile at him.
My man is sweet as sugar. Lucky me.
He pulls me over to the closest sofa. We collapse onto it and
tangle together. I grab the remote and turn on the TV. We watch TV
for a while and chat.
I ask, “Does this feel weird to you?”
He tilts his head and says, “Nope, just the opposite. It feels
right.”
I whisper, “Yeah. I know. Isn’t
that
weird?”
He smiles big and responds, “I wanted you since I met you, baby.
From the first time I saw your ass in that sexy skirt.” I frown and
he chuckles. “The best thing that could’ve happened to us was you
insisting we be friends. Now I
really
know you. You never acted
like a woman trying to impress a man. You were my friend.” He
lightly flicks my nose. “My really good friend. And now that we’re
more its feels like it’s just an extension of our friendship. So,
no. it’s not weird. It’s amazing.”
Wow. See? Sweet.
I smile, lean
forward and peck his lips. I say quietly, “You’re too good for me,
Niki. I’ll never know what I did to deserve you but I’ll thank god
for it every day.”
He hugs me tighter and says, “Tell me about your family.”
I stiffen at this. I quickly relax and answer as vaguely as I can.
“Mom died a couple of years ago. No brothers of sisters. I’ve got
some aunts, uncles, and cousins in Cali and even more in Croatia.
Dad still lives in Cali. He’s pretty close with his sister and her
husband.”
He strokes my hair and asks curiously, “It must’ve been hard
leaving him. Why did you come to New York?”
I force a laugh and say, “Cali just wasn’t my scene anymore. It was
hard leaving Dad and Nat. Dad loves Cali, though. He’s got his
friends and some family there. He’s heavily involved with the
Croatian community. He has a life there.” I shrug lightly.
This is true. Dad, or Tata, is involved with the Croatian Club in
Cali. My dad has lived in America for about 30 years and still has
a heavy accent. This is because he’s friends with Croats, he works
with Croats, and he speaks more Croatian than he does
English.
Nik remains thoughtful. He knows I’m avoiding his question. Nik
isn’t dumb.
Before he can question me further I play with the fingers on one of
his hands and ask, “What happened to your Dad, Nik?”
He sighs and leans back further into the sofa. He smiles as he
explains, “Dad was awesome. Best dad anyone could ask for. He came
over from Russia, met and fell in love with Mom, a Mexican
immigrant, and never left. His name was Ilia.” He softens his voice
a little and holds me tight. “Dad was a good man. A really good
man, baby. He didn’t like all the small injustices of the world and
did whatever he could to fix ‘em. That’s how Ghost came to live
with us. Dad got through to him.” He sighs heavily and runs his
hand down his face as if he’s about to drop a bomb on me. And
does.
He says, “In saying that, my father was the vice president of the
Russian gang, Chaos. He was high up in organized crime,
baby.”
My mouth falls open and I whisper, “No.
Freakin’
. Way.”
He nods solemnly. “Yeah. Dad died of a heart attack. Just dropped
dead one day. I was recruited into Chaos shortly after. I did it so
I would have money to give my Mom. Max and Ghost wouldn’t let me
join alone so we all joined together and til I turned twenty, we
were enforcers for them.”
No
way!
That is crazy. I’m speechless at
the moment so Nik continues. “That’s this tattoo right here.” He
points to the tattoo on his upper arm that spells XAOC. “It’s Chaos
in Russian. Max, Ghost, and I all have them. The guys you met last
night, Alexei and Lev, are a part of the Chaos brotherhood.”
I’m silent a moment then ask quietly, “Did you ever kill
anyone?”
He smiles and shakes his head. He explains, “As enforcers we used
force to get our money
if
necessary. And yes, I’ve shot people but never to
kill. I’ve broken bones, baby. I’ve shot people and done that shit
without flinching.” He looks ashamed. “That is who your man is. A
street thug.”
No!
No way.
That isn’t the Nik I know.
The Nik I know is lovable, sexy and funny.
The Nik I know loves his niece so much he’ll do anything to keep
her happy. Even have a birthday cake and blow out candles when he
really doesn’t want to. The Nik I know takes his brother and
paraplegic niece into his home without question. The Nik I know had
no time for a childhood because he was too busy doing all the
things his dad would’ve done for his family.
That is the Nik I know. My Nik is
not
a street thug.
I lift my head and look right at him.
I startle him when I push at his shoulder a little too roughly and
blurt, “Nuh uh! You are
not
a street thug. You are an entrepreneur. You are a
family man. You are a
survivor
. And that makes you sexy as
hell. You are wonderful.” I stroke his cheek softly and say firmly,
“And I am proud that you’re mine.”
His eyes search my face and his brow furrows.
He whispers, “Fuck me.” Then he holds my face in his hands and
kisses me deeply.
After a few seconds of bliss I break away and place my forehead on
his.
I whisper, “I won’t have you talking about my man like that. My man
is big and strong and he’ll kick your ass.”
He blinks. Then bursts out laughing and squeezes me.
I smile big. I love when he laughs.
Still chuckling he says, “I love you.”
We both freeze.
My heart stops.
I have died. Just a little.
He cringes and says, “Too soon, huh?”
I smile and shrug. He sighs and pulls me into him. I’m wrapped in a
Nik blanket and it feels great.
Screw
soon!
I turn my head a little so our
lips touch. I hold his jaw with my fingertips and peck at his lips
one- two- three times.
Here goes
nothin’.
I close my eyes and whisper
against his lips, “I love you more.”
I feel his smile against my lips and he wraps me up tight.
Warmth washes over my body. I forgot what being in love with
someone felt like.
We stay tangled together until Max and Ceecee got home.
As soon as Ceecee comes through the door she yells out, “Tina!
Tina! Tina!”
Nik and I laugh into each other’s necks before separating. We both
stand and watch Ceecee come towards us wearing the most beautiful
crooked smile.
She looks happy. That makes me happy. I lean down and give her a
big hug.
I push her hair behind her ear and tell her, “We were waiting for
you to get home. I cooked breakfast for all of us.”
Max looks to the ceiling, throws his arms in the air and whoops. He
walks toward me and kisses me on the cheek and says, “I knew there
was a reason I liked you, T.”
Ceecee’s face has dropped. She replies quietly, “I already ate
breakfast with grandma.”
Max peeks in the oven and yells out, “French toast
and
bacon? You’re a
goddess, Tina.”
Ceecee’s face lifts a little. She whispers to me, “I
love
French
toast.”
I smile at her and offer, “Well how about this, you go ahead and
get yourself a piece and whatever you can’t eat, I’ll eat for
you.”
She smiles shyly and responds, “Okay.”
I bring the food over to the dining table and go back into the
kitchen. I peek out and see Max cutting Ceecee’s food for her.
Ceecee doesn’t look happy.
I call Max into the kitchen and say, “Max, honey, Ceecee is nine
years old. She doesn’t need you to cut her food for her
anymore.”
He frowns and returns petulantly, “I like cutting her food for her.
I’m her daddy.”
If there were dirt on the floor, he would’ve kicked at it.
Too cute.
I cup his cheek and ask, “You want her to be independent,
right?”
He sighs, “Right.”
I kiss his cheek and say, “Help her by allowing her to help
herself.” I hand him the syrup and butter to take to the table and
he skulks away.
We all sit and I look over to see Ceecee cutting a strip of
bacon.
She smiles big at Max and tells him, “See, daddy? I can do
it!”
I shoot him a smothered smile. He smiles and shakes his head at
me.
He responds ,“I know, angel. You’re not a baby anymore.”
Nik looks at us through narrowed eyes then winks at me.
We eat and when we finish the boys clear the plates. Ceecee and I
go to watch some TV.
Ceecee sits next the sofa in her chair and I sit on the edge of the
sofa with an arm around my little friend stroking her hair.
Still watching the TV, she says softly, “Is this what it’s
like?”
I’m immediately confused.
I ask, “What what’s like, angel?”
She leans her head on my shoulder and whispers, “To have a
family.”
I freeze.
Cue
waterworks.
I clear my throat to
steady my voice and turn my misty eyes away from her.
I say shakily, “Yes, angel. We are a family.”

Chapter Twenty
All good Bear’s go to
heaven

Monday morning at Safira
is busy for the first time in…ever.
We had a new shipment come in. It included a popular blazer worn by
one of Hollywood’s elite actresses and there is a crush of women
calling and showing up to the store to place orders or buy them.
This price of each blazer is close to two hundred dollars and I
ordered twenty of them so even though we’re extremely busy, I’m
mentally doing the nutbush.
I make my way over to Winnie’s and place a coffee order. I chat to
the young girl at the counter for a minute before making my way
back to the store.
Rawr
Raaawr
Crap. Damn. Poop! I forgot to
change the batteries in the doorbell sensor which is slowly
dying.
I glare up at it and turn and look to the counter and freeze.
There is another expensive flower arrangement on the counter. Nat
stands there glaring because on the opposite side of the counter
stands Omarr.
Oh,
Crudsickles.
He delivered them by
hand this time.
I mentally prepare myself then walk over. He turns and shoots me a
beautiful smile. There is no malice in his eyes like the last time
I saw him. He looks like a different man.
Nat disappears from the counter. I force a small smile and greet,
“Hello, Omarr.”
He looks good. He’s wearing black jeans, sneakers and a polo shirt.
His hair still styled in short neat dreadlocks. He walks over to me
and surprises me when he kisses my cheek.
He says, “Hi Tina, how are you beautiful?”
I flush.
I’m confused. Why is he here?
I respond quietly, “I’m fine thanks. How are you?”
He smiles and says, “I’m good but I’d be better if you’d come to
dinner with me tonight.”
My face falls.
What the heck? Didn’t he get the delivery of crushed flowers the
last time he tried this?
I put a hand on his arm and reply, “Omarr. I’m sorry. I’m with Nik.
We’re together.”
His eyes flash hatred and I’m immediately panicked.
He gently removes my hand from him and says, “You made the wrong
choice, mami.”
Now I’m getting pissed.
No I didn’t. Nik is good to me.
I stand taller and state, “No, Omarr. I made the best
choice.”
He shakes his head, looks up with sad eyes and replies “Tina, you
don’t know your man. He isn’t right. You should be with me. I’d
treat you like a princess.”
I’m fuming now.
I spit, “Why would I be with you and get treated like a princess
when Nik treats me like a queen. And like in a game of chess, the
queen protects her king.”
Take that,
Omarr!
Uh oh…he’s pissed now.
He shoots me an acid smile, “Wrong choice, babe.”
I’m on the verge of tears now. My neck is red and itchy as hell and
all I want to do is scratch it to death with a pen.
I whisper, “I could never be with you. You have hatred seeping out
of your pores.”
His eyes flash pain and he responds, “Maybe there’s a reason for my
hatred. Maybe you should ask your boy about
Marcus.”
Marcus? Who is
Marcus?
“Is there a problem here?”
This sounds terribly bored and coming from the store entry.
There stands Ghost leaning in the door frame.
He says to Omarr, “You lost?”
Omarr replies, “Naw, man. Just catchin’ up with a friend.”
Ghost looks my way than back at Omarr.
He says, “Friends don’t make each other look like Tina looks right
now.” He steps closer to Omarr and whispers, “Do I need to take
this to Uncle Jerm or are you going to let it go with some
dignity?”
Omarr stands taller, forces a smile, and responds “Naw, man. No
problems here. Just visiting.” Omarr turns to me and says, “Sorry I
upset you, Tina. Won’t happen again.”
And then he’s gone.
I walk backwards to the wall, put a hand on the wall, and place the
other on my chest. I think I’m having a panic attack.
Ghost walks towards me, puts his hands on my cheeks, and forces my
face to look into his.
Calmly he instructs me, “Breathe, Tina. Just breathe. Nice and
easy. There you go.”
I try control my breathing as Nat appears with an ice pack for my
flushed face and neck.
Ghost takes the ice pack from Nat and gently runs it along my neck
and cheeks.
He looks at her and says, “Thanks for calling.”
She nods but remains focused on me. I haven’t had a panic attack in
a year. I don’t feel like I’m in control of my own body and that
sucks. I definitely did
not
miss these.
Nat puts a hand on my forehead and whispers, “You’re safe. You’re
grounded. Calm yourself, babe.”
I nod and close my eyes. My heart won’t stop racing.
Nat comes closer to my ear and whispers, “Remember how Mia always
said
My
instead
of
I
so when she
would ask for something it would come out My want to watch a movie
or My want candy?”
I smile at the memory. I nod and my breathing slows slightly.
She goes on, “Or how she couldn’t say the letter
L
properly so she would
say Mia wants
yunch
instead of
lunch
?”
I chuckle. I’m sweating like a pig but I can breathe deeply now. I
nod.
Nat chuckles quietly, “Remember when she emptied a whole container
of baby powder on the couch and was throwing it around like
snow?”
I burst into laughter but it quickly dissolves into silent sobs. I
slide down the wall and sink to the floor. My body is
boneless.
Mia is gone. My precious baby. All I have are those memories.
Nat sits down next to me and holds my limp, shaking body. I feel
her body shake with mine. Mourning my daughter together. A true
friend feels your pain and knows nothing they say can compose you,
but a simple embrace can be worth more than any words ever
could.
Without warning I stand, take the flower arrangement, and walk out
the door. My blood boils and my breathing heavies. I shriek as I
throw into the street and watch as a car runs over it.
It was a two hundred dollar gift. Now it’s nothing but trash. Just
like the person who gave them to me.
I turn on the sidewalk to see Ghost and Natalie standing in
Safira’s entry smiling.
I close my eyes and breathe deep.
After gathering back what is left of my mind, I walk over to Ghost
and kiss his cheek. I kiss Nat’s right after.
I walk right into the stock room, close the door, sit on my desk
and sob.
***