Forever Black (28 page)

I
put my key in the elevator and took it up to the penthouse. The door opened and
I stepped out looking for Connor. I didn’t see him in the kitchen, but I heard
talking coming from his office. I slowly took steps towards his office and
gasped for air at what I saw; Ashlyn had her mouth on his. Connor pushed her
away and was startled when he saw me standing there. The fear in his eyes was a
fear I had never seen before.

“Ellery,
this isn’t what it looks like.”

I
put my hand up and turned to walk away. I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt
constricted and I was starting to panic. That was until I heard her say, “See
Connor I told you she doesn’t love you like I can.”

Suddenly
rage replaced panic and it grew inside me at a rapid pace. I turned around and
walked towards her.

“Oh
shit,” Connor said because he was all too familiar with the look I was
displaying.

Ashlyn
stood there with her arms crossed glaring at me as I approached her.

“I
don’t think we’ve officially met, I’m Ellery, Connors girlfriend.” She eyed me
up and down and refused to shake my hand.

“Funny,
Connor said he didn’t have a girlfriend anymore when he had his hands all over
me.”

I
looked at Connor as he stood there speechless; his only movement was the slight
shaking of his head to let me know she was lying.

“He
said that?”

“Yeah
he did after he kissed me and told me that it was me he loved all along and you
were just a charity case he felt sorry for.”

Oh
no she didn’t!

Connors
eyes grew wide as he took a step back. Before I knew it, my fist left my side
and ended up right across her jaw line. She fell back on her ass and held her
jaw, staring at me like I was a lunatic. I bent down until I right in her face.

“My
advice to you is to crawl back into the whore hole you crawled out from and
never look at me or him again. If I even catch you looking in either of our
directions, I will pound my fist into you so hard that even a plastic surgeon
wouldn’t be able to fix you.” I turned on my heels and started to walk away.  

“You’re
a crazy bitch, do you know that?” she screamed.

Connor
came chasing after me and grabbed my arm, “Don’t you dare take another step.”

Was
he stupid or something? Did he really want to do this now when I was so full of
rage?

“Let
go of me Connor right now before you suffer the same fate as your whore over
there.” Me and my mouth, shit, did I just say that?

He
let go of my arm, “You’re angry right now so I will forgive that last
statement, but what I will not forgive is you taking another step and walking
out that door.”

“I’m
sorry Connor, but I can’t stay, especially now.”

Connor
pulled out his phone and called Denny to come and get Ashlyn out of the
penthouse. I started to walk away as he came up from behind me, grabbed me as
tight as he could and carried me upstairs to his bedroom, slamming the door
shut.

“Now
sit down on that bed and listen to me Ellery. I’m not playing games with you
anymore, and I know what you just saw hurt you more than anything else. You’re
going to sit there and you’re going listen to me.”

I
sat there as I swallowed hard, silently trying to plan my escape.

“Go
on then, explain to me who Ashlyn is and why you’ve been keeping your
relationship such a secret.”

He
paced back and forth across the room while running his hands through his hair.
“Ashlyn is Amanda’s twin sister.”

I
looked at him and shook my head, “Who the fuck is Amanda?”

He
took in a sharp breath, “Amanda is the girl who committed suicide after I broke
up with her.”

My
mouth fell open and I felt sick to my stomach. A thousand thoughts ran through
my mind. He was coming clean about her and I owed him that chance.

 “Keep
talking Connor, I’m listening.”

“Ashlyn
sought me out and came to my office about a year ago. She told me she had been
kicked out of her house and she didn’t have any money and no place to go. She
said that I owed her because it was my fault her sister killed herself.”

I
closed my eyes. I could hear the pain in his voice. How dare that woman do that
to him? I wanted to reach out to him, but I had to let him finish telling me
about her.

“I
took her to dinner. We talked, drank a lot and we had sex. You have no idea how
bad I regret that day.” He stood there shaking his head and looking down as if
he was ashamed for telling me.

I
got up from the bed and walked over to him, “Why didn’t you stop it after that
night Connor?”

He
sighed, “She kept talking about Amanda and making me feel guilty for what had
happened. I gave her a job at my company and we had an arrangement that we
would meet three times a week after work for sex, no strings attached.”

“Wait,
let me guess, she started falling for you and she wanted more.”

He
nodded his head. “Yes, she wanted me to stop seeing other woman and enter into
an exclusive relationship with her. I told her time and time again that I
wasn’t interested and that our arrangement was staying the way it was.” He
turned his back to me and took in a deep breath.

“She
threatened to do what her sister did if I didn’t succumb to her wants and
needs. It was that night at the club; the night you brought me home, that I
told her there was never going to be nothing more than sex between us.”

“Damn
it Connor, why the hell didn’t you just stop seeing her?” I yelled.”

He
turned to face me, “Because the next morning she called and apologized. She
said she would be happy to keep our arrangement the way it was as long as I
doubled her pay.”

I
shook my head in disbelief as the sickness settled into the pit of my stomach
and I had to sit back down on the bed.

“Are
you ok?” he asked as he took a few steps towards me.

I
put my hand up, “Don’t take another step and I mean it.”

I
closed my eyes for a moment to try and calm the clusterfuck that was going on
inside my head.

 “I
have one question for you and I want you to be honest. When was the last time
you slept with her?”

There
was no hesitation when he answered. “It was the night before I met you. I tried
to break things off with her several times since you and I met.”

“What
was she doing here and why were her lips on you?”

“I
called her and asked her to come over so I could tell her never to contact me
again and that what we had was long over. I told her I was in love with you. I
was paying her to stay out of our lives. That, of course, pissed her off and
she was going to try whatever she could to keep me. You just happened to walk
in when she was throwing herself at me.”

I
got up from the bed and headed for the door, “I can’t listen to any more of
this Connor, I’m sorry.”

“Ellery,
please, we need to talk about everything,” he pleaded.

“Why,
so we can hurt each other again with our words?”

 He
put his hand on my face as I backed away. “My illness is tearing us apart. You
can’t handle your emotions and neither can I. We just end up hurting each other.
I have a question for you and I want you to be totally honest with me, are you
trying to save me to erase the guilt you’ve harbored over the years about your
ex-girlfriend?”

Fuckity
fuck…I couldn’t believe I just asked him that. He stared into my eyes with his
cold eyes, like all the love he felt for me had just been erased, as if it
never existed.

He
closed his eyes. “I think it’s best if you go back to California and I stay
here.”

 He
turned around so he didn’t have to look at me. He gave up and it was my fault; I
pushed him to this point. Tears streamed down my face as I turned around and
walked out the door.

I
walked back to the hotel and grabbed my bag. As I was walking out a text from
Connor came through.
“My private plane is waiting for you to take you back
to California. Text Denny your location and he will pick you up.”

 The
heart wrenching pain reared its ugly head again as I didn’t respond back. I
called Denny and within 5 minutes he was at the hotel picking me up. I slid in
the backseat. He turned around and looked at me.

“I’m
sorry Miss Lane, but I’m going to tell you what I told Mr. Black, you two are
the most stubborn people on the face of this earth and you couldn’t be more
perfect for each other.”

I
gave a small smile. “We are a disaster together.”

He
pulled up to the private landing strip where Connors plane was waiting for me.
He opened the door and helped me with my bags.

“Do
not let your fear sabotage your relationship with Mr. Black,” Ellery. It’s not
fair to you or to him.” I kissed him on the cheek and entered the plane.

“Ellery,”
Mason smiled as he met me outside with a big hug. “How are you, we missed you?”
He knew the minute he saw the sadness in my eyes things were bad. “Not again”
he frowned. He walked me upstairs to my apartment. Peyton was calling so Mason
went back downstairs.

“Hi
Peyton,” I said.

“What
the fuck Elle? What is going on with you two? And why didn’t you call me?”

“I
was going to. I wanted to get back to California first. I’m sorry Peyton I just
can’t talk about it right now. How did you know?”

She
sighed, “I went to Connors place to give you something and he went off on a
tangent about you. I looked over and that driver of his was escorting some
chick out as she was holding her mouth yelling something about you and telling
Connor never to speak to her again. He told me you punched her, is that true?”

“Yeah,
I did punch that bitch square in the jaw and she deserved it.”

“That’s
my girl,” Peyton shouted. “Make things right with Connor, Elle. He loves you,
and you love him and sometimes people do stupid stuff.”

“I
know Peyton, but I’m not sure we’re good together as long as I’m sick.”

“Elle,
you’re overthinking things again. You don’t want things to be right because
you’re scared and I get that, but he’s scared to, and it seems to me that you
two don’t get that.”

“It
seems like every day I’m finding out something new about him and it’s driving
me crazy Peyton.”

“I
understand that Elle, but you need to realize that maybe he keeps some things
from you because he doesn’t want to hurt you.”

“But
not telling me hurts me even more.”

“Then
fucking tell him that; talk to him instead of yelling at him and storming out.”

“Peyton,
I have to go, we’ll talk later.”

I
crawled into my bed and cried myself to sleep, again.

The
days passed slowly as I threw myself into my paintings. One night I was putting
the final touches on my painting and I was on my 4
^th
glass of wine
when I decided I was going to call Connor. I missed him and I missed hearing
his voice and I wasn’t sure if we were even still together. It was nine o’clock
L.A. time so it was six o’clock New York time. I hit Connors name on my phone
and sat nervously as it rang. After the 3
^rd
ring it went to
voicemail. I was just going to hang up, but as soon as the beep sounded I left
him a message, “Hi Connor, it’s Elle, I just called to see how you’re doing and
how things are going, I guess you’re busy so I’ll talk to you soon, bye.”

I
poured another glass of wine and took a sip. I didn’t expect him to call me
back. When my phone started ringing and Connors name appeared on my screen, my
stomach twisted itself up and my heart started racing. “Hello,” I answered. His
voice was deep and low.

“Hey
Elle, I see you called?” Hearing his voice made me feel less alone. I grabbed
my wine and climbed on the bed.

“Hi,
yeah I was just wondering how you were doing.”

“I’m
ok, how are you?”

“I’m
ok; I was just finishing up a new painting.”

“I’m
sure it’s beautiful.”

I
smiled, “I could take a picture and send it to you if you want.”

“That
would be nice; I would like to see it.”

I
decided to go for it and try to carry on a normal, full on conversation.

“So,
what have you been up to?” I asked not fully aware if I wanted to know the
answer.

“Not
much, I’ve been working a lot. What have you been up to?” he asked me.

“Nothing
really, I’ve been doing a lot of painting.”

“How
are you feeling?” he asked.

“Ok
I guess.” What I really wanted to say was that I was feeling like fucking shit
because I miss him so much.

“I’m
sorry Elle, I have to get going, Cassidy and Camden are in the city and I’m
taking them to dinner, they should be here any minute.”