Fated (29 page)

“What
do you want?” he bit out in a low voice, his eyes glittering as he watched me.

“You,”
I whimpered, my need making me desperate. “I want you.”

His
eyes darkened and his breathing became heavier, but he still didn’t release my
wrists. “What do you want me to do?”

“I
want you to touch me,” I whispered. Even though he often asked me these
questions, I felt a rush of intense desire every time he demanded that I put
into words what I wanted.

“Where?”

“I
want your mouth on my nipples,” I moaned, shifting restlessly. “I want you to
lick my pussy.”

“What
else?” he demanded, although his voice was strained and his face was harsh with
desire.

“I
want you inside me. I want you to fuck me.”

“Do
you want me to come inside you?” he bit out, although we had already stopped
using condoms ever since that night Michael had been admitted to the hospital.

“Yes.”

“Why?”
he growled, his expression primal.

“I
want all of you. I want you to fill me. I need to be yours in every way,” I
confessed in a rush, shaken by how much I meant it.

Caden
exhaled harshly as he let go of my wrists and quickly started unbuttoning my
shirt. When the slippery surface of the bottom two buttons evaded his fingers,
his impatience caused him to grab the edges of my shirt and pull them apart so
that they popped off. His ferocity fueled my desire even more, and I was barely
aware of the mewling sounds I was making when he pushed my bra up, freeing my
breasts that were already heavy and swollen with arousal.

I
arched my back when his mouth latched onto a hardened nub, my hands running
through his hair and tightening into fists when he scraped his teeth against
the aching tip. I lifted my hips, wanting to feel his erection against me,
hating the fabric between us.

I
released my grip on his hair as he paid the same attention to my other nipple
and slipped my hands beneath his shirt, running my hands over his muscular back.
I wanted to feel his hard chest against mine, so I grabbed the bottom of his
shirt and pulled it up.

“Take
off your clothes,” I whispered. Caden didn’t need to be asked twice. He quickly
sat up and allowed me to pull his shirt over his head. I watched with hungry
eyes as he stood and unfastened his jeans, pulling them down along with his
underwear. My eyes ran down his body, reveling in every hard plane of his
muscled arms, chest and legs, my gaze settling on his erect shaft that jutted
out intimidatingly.

The
corner of Caden’s mouth lifted. “I think you’re a little overdressed,” he said,
his voice husky. I sat up and reached behind me to unhook my bra, throwing it
to the floor to join his clothes. Then I quickly shimmied out of my jeans and
panties so that I was lying back on the bed with my elbows propped up as his
eyes roamed my body greedily.

He
picked me up as if I weighed nothing and laid me down so that I was pushed back
fully on the bed. His hands drifted down my waist and settled on my hips, the rough
pads of his fingertips as he stroked my hipbones feeling erotic.

He
then gripped my knees and pushed them up so that my legs were raised, spreading
them so that I was completely exposed to him as he kneeled before me. I felt no
shame, only hedonistic pleasure, as I was bared to him.

“Always
so wet and ready for me,” he murmured as he gazed down at me. His eyes drifted
up to my face, his jaw clenched. “Open yourself up for me.”

I
reached down and shamelessly offered myself to him, my breathing becoming labored
as he watched me. His hands gripped my thighs, holding them apart although it
wasn’t necessary because I wasn’t about to close them. His grasp tightened
almost painfully but I was oblivious to everything but his gaze and my pulsing
center.

“Touch
yourself,” he bit out, his voice growing more and more strained. I obeyed his
command, my eyes fluttering closed as I moved one hand to stroke my swollen
clit, feeling how slick it already was with my arousal. I moaned, my hips
lifting up and moving in a circular motion as I continued caress myself.

“Lauren.”
I opened my eyes at his husky entreaty. “Give me a taste of yourself.”

I
slid two fingers deep into myself, a choked cry escaping from my throat, and
then lifted it to Caden’s mouth. His eyes stared into mine as he grasped my
hand and pushed my glistening fingers into his mouth, laving them with his
tongue as he suckled on them. My breaths were growing so shallow that I was
having a hard time taking in a full breath, feeling transfixed by his piercing
gaze.

Suddenly,
as if he could take no more, Caden pulled my fingers out of his mouth and
gripped my inner thighs again, pinning them down so that they were flattened
against the bed, pushing my mound up. He leaned down and buried his face
between my legs and devoured my swollen flesh, sucking and licking relentlessly
until I screamed as a violent orgasm took control of my body, the sensations so
powerful that its intensity frightened me, causing me to shudder and convulse
uncontrollably.

When
I was finally able to open my eyes, Caden was watching me, his eyes gleaming
with intense satisfaction. He waited until my last shudder left me, and then
raised himself above me as he lifted my hips. He didn’t say a word as he sank
himself deep inside me, but his eyes never left mine, searing into me as I
cried out with intense pleasure. His grunts and my moans filled the room,
intermingling with the sounds of our bodies pounding into each other
relentlessly. He lifted my legs so that my ankles rested on his shoulders, the
angle allowing him to thrust so deeply into me that I felt wholly consumed by
him.

I
was amazed that despite the intensity of my last orgasm, I felt the stirrings
inside me again, and I whimpered as the sensations began to grow, unsure
whether I could take another violent climax. Soon, I became nothing but
nerve-endings as Caden continued to plunge his thick, hard shaft into me,
making me feel as though I was going to split apart. The sounds coming from him
became primal as he pushed me closer and closer to the edge, sweat dripping
from both our bodies as we strained towards completion.

I
cried out as I came in long shudders, feeling as if I were shattering into a
million pieces. I convulsed around him, causing his shaft to start jerking
violently inside me, his teeth bared as his face took on an expression of pain
mixed with pleasure.

For
a few moments, it felt as though we were suspended in time as we both climaxed
intensely, and I reveled in the feeling of him coming inside me. When he
collapsed on top of me, my arms went around him reflexively, my acute feelings
of desire turning into ones of love and protectiveness as I embraced him.

He
was panting against my neck, and we both tried to catch our breaths. Soon, we
were breathing more easily, and I felt him kiss my neck gently.

“It’s
always like this with you,” he murmured softly. “I’ve never wanted someone so
much. I’ve never felt this kind of passion with anyone else besides you.”

My heart
filled at his confession, and the words slipped out of my mouth without
thought. “I love you.”

I
knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life when I felt him stiffen. I had
foolishly thought my words would be the start of a new beginning. Instead, it
was the death knell of the end.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Caden
broke our embrace and shifted so that he was leaning over me, propped up on one
elbow. I clearly saw the panic on his face as he studied my expression, and my
mouth became dry. In that moment, I wanted to erase what I had just said, to
yank back the words and pretend they had never been uttered. But there was
nothing I could do, and I began to realize that, for the first time, I believed
that I owed it to myself to see where my confession would take us. I could no
longer hide my love for him, because I was no longer willing to cheat myself of
real emotions. I had spent most of my life clutching for them. Now that they
filled my heart, I wasn’t about to deny their existence.

Caden
leaned back until he was on his back, staring up at the ceiling. I pulled the
sheet over me, my nakedness suddenly making me feel vulnerable. Neither of us
spoke for a long time, the air between us so charged that it was almost
smothering.

Finally,
I couldn’t take it anymore so I broke the silence.

“Just
say it,” I said softly, feeling resigned. “Say whatever it is you have to say.
But at least tell me the truth.”

Caden
exhaled harshly. When he spoke, his voice was low and rough, but he didn’t look
at me. “I can’t say those words to you, Lauren. I care about you but…that’s not
somewhere I can go.”

I
summoned all my courage, determined not to skate around the issue anymore.
“Why?” I asked. “Is it because you just don’t feel that way about me, or is it
something else?”

There
was a long silence before he answered. “I care about you so much that it scares
me. I’ve already admitted my fear that I’m becoming obsessed with you. Allowing
myself to love you will tip me over the edge. We have to keep things where I
can control myself.”

Pain
cracked my heart and I sat up abruptly, clutching the sheet protectively around
me. “Caden, you’re not like your father! You’re not going to hurt me!”

He
lurched up, grabbing my shoulders as his eyes bored into mine. “Lauren, you
have no idea the thoughts that go through my head!” He closed his eyes as he
spoke through gritted teeth. “You didn’t see what I did to Joseph. I’m
surprised I didn’t put him in the hospital. I was so close to the edge. I was
consumed by the need to hurt him for touching you.” He spat out his next words.
“I was like an animal.”

“You
were just protecting me!” I cried out. “That’s different!”

When
Caden opened his eyes, they were full of resignation. “But who’s going to
protect you from me?” His expression turned grim as he continued to speak, his
voice dropping so low that I had to strain to hear him. “Do you know what I
would do to you if I found out you slept with someone else? That you betrayed
me? Do you want to take that chance? If we take this any further, if we start committing
ourselves to each other with words of love, you’ll never be able to escape me.”

“But
I don’t want to escape you,” I whispered fiercely. “And I would never cheat on
you.”

Caden’s
face tightened, his expression turning harsh. “Just the thought of it tears me
apart. It makes me want to go crazy.” He collapsed, dropping his head into his
hands. His voice was desperate as he continued. “But, my God! It shouldn’t mean
a death sentence for you! It shouldn’t mean me turning on you! But I’ve seen it
happen. I’ve seen what obsessive love can do to a person. My mother thought my
father loved her, that he would forgive her anything, even her infidelity.” His
body started trembling. “She was so surprised when he pulled out the gun, but
she still thought he wouldn’t pull the trigger. But I saw the look in his eyes.
I knew he was going to do it. I tried to stop him, but I couldn’t. He shot her
and then he looked at me. He told me to never become like him. Then he put the
gun to his head and pulled the trigger.”

Caden
was shaking badly and I wrapped my arms around him, trying to absorb his pain.
His words had been so raw and intense, as if he was reliving the moment as he
spoke about it. I wondered how often he replayed that horrific scene in his
head over and over again. How could a child recover from seeing something so
grisly? Could I blame him for his fears as an adult?

We
didn’t speak as I held him. His shaking slowly lessened until it stopped completely.
When he looked up at me, his eyes so full of pain and guilt for not being able
to stop something he had no control over, I had no words to say. I just pulled
him closer and we shifted so that we were lying down again, facing each other
as we embraced. I had no idea how long it was before I broke the silence.

“I
know you don’t believe me, but you’re not your father, Caden. You would never
do something as horrific as killing someone you loved. But I can’t force you to
see that. I can’t imagine what it must be like to witness something like that.
But I know you. And I know you’re incapable of committing that kind of act.”

“I
can’t risk it,” he said hoarsely. “Lauren, I’ve already crossed so many
boundaries with you. I’ve never had a woman sleep in my bed, let alone share my
space. Yet it felt natural with you, like it was a given with no thought
necessary. I thought I could control it, but I’m only tempting fate. I can feel
my obsession growing, my need to mark you and make you mine.” He took a long shuddering
breath before continuing. “Let me let go of you. For your sake.”

I
felt intense physical pain, as if my heart were actually bleeding, a gaping
hole where a heartbeat used to pulse. I reached up and caressed his cheek, not
knowing what to say or do to make Caden believe he was worth more.

“I
love you. I’m willing to take my chances with you, because I already know the
outcome. I know what kind of man you are, even if you don’t. Don’t I get a
choice in this? Because I choose you, Caden. Let me show you that you’re
wrong.”