Fast Forward (22 page)

Everyone stood by in silence as they awaited my response. I gasped on lifting the itinerary from the envelope, then leaned in towards the microphone.

“Wow, this is amazing.” I looked at the faces fixed on me. “It’s a four week European holiday! Oh Will, I’ve never been overseas, I’ve always wanted to go!” I hugged him.

“I know you have and I know you gave up your plans of modelling internationally when we started a family and then the business, so I thought it was about time we ventured out of the safety of our own country, see the world!”

I jumped up and down, excitement bubbling through my veins. The guests cheered again, Elaine shouting, ‘Take me with you!’ and Diora saying, ‘Come back safely, I’ll need you to babysit’, when one of the caterers approached, carrying the triple-layered model of a water fountain that was my birthday cake.

I hadn’t noticed its pure brilliance before, the white, almost silvery frosting embracing each layer and the dangling sprays of edible silver baubles acting as water streaming from the fountain took my breath away. It was a masterpiece. Elaine moved towards it with her mouth gaping, clasping her chest. She was practically having a coronary just looking at it.

The caterer placed the cake on a small table nearby and gestured for me to sit in front of it. The lone candle flickered backwards and forwards, as though unsure which direction to go … and then my heart stopped.

My cake. The time had arrived. The moment I’d been waiting for sat in front of me with an open invitation to my old life. Yet I was that flame, rocking backwards and forwards between two worlds.

“Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday dear Kelli,

Happy birthday to you!”

Forty or so voices filled the room but all I could hear was the ticking of my mind.

Tick, tock, tick tock, past, future, past, future …

“Aren’t you going to make a wish and blow out your candle?” Ryan asked.

I sat there, frozen, despite the flame tempting me with its inviting glow. I glanced around at all the people, my friends and family, urging me on, their love and support diffusing through every fibre of my being. Will … the words from his speech echoed in my mind and thoughts that I might feel the same way about him jumped around in confusion. At that moment, I was me and I was happy.

Could it be that good old William McSnelly had brought out the best in me? Rescued my heart from its Prada snakeskin enclosure and set it free? What about Diora and Ryan? If I went back and married Grant, they’d never exist. Their life would never happen. Diora’s baby would never happen. All day I’d known what I wanted, but now, with the opportunity waiting, I couldn’t decide. The life I’d planned or the life I’d glimpsed today?

I glanced around one last time, my friends and family clapping rhythmically and chanting, ‘Kel-li, Kel-li, Kel-li …’ and sucked in the deepest breath possible, air filling and expanding my lungs. The flame blurred under my focused glare and I blew out the air from my lungs as hard as I could. The scent of smoke and melted wax wafted in the air as I clamped my eyes shut.

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.”

–
Buddha

I kept my eyes closed as voices emerged around me, counting and clapping hands … one clap for each birthday. If they stopped at twenty five it meant I was back home. I kept my eyes shut tight as the count passed eighteen.
Was this it
, I wondered as they reached twenty five. Was I back? The counting continued. When I’d blown out the candles, I hadn’t wished to go back and I hadn’t wished to stay. I’d wished for the best possible life for me to unfold as it should. Taking another breath, my eyes inched open to a blur of smiling faces around me. Fifty!

“Happy birthday, Kelli!” The claps stopped their repetition and dispersed into a random cacophony. My eyes darted towards Will, snapping photos and to Ryan, thumping his lizard tail on the floor in rhythmic enthusiasm and Diora, seated on her pod in the Bliss Garden nearby, her smile radiating to space. I was home. Not home as I knew it, but home where my heart was.

“Speech, speech, speech, speech …” the crowd chorused and Ryan lifted me to my feet towards the microphone, while my mind struggled to think of what to say.

I tapped the microphone to check it was working. “Thanks, everyone, thank you so much. Wow, where do I start? It’s been an amazing day, I—”

“Uh-oh,” Diora called. Ryan leapt towards her with a gasp and his hands flew to his face as the giant origami lotus under Diora’s pod wilted from dampness. “My water broke!” An apologetic smile flashed across Diora’s face.

“My lotus broke!” Ryan knelt down at the dying flower’s side, then shot back up again. “Your water broke? Mum, Dad, her water broke! Where’s Jason?”

Dumbledore flew to his wife’s side. “Are you okay? Do you feel okay?”

She nodded, but rubbed her belly. “Well, I have been getting these twinges all day. Maybe they’re not just Braxton Hicks after all.”

My daughter was in labour! Talk about timing, my birthday speeches always seemed to get interrupted.

Will’s frozen shock quickly melted and he shot into action. “Right, Jason—you and I will help Diora into your car. Kelli—you grab a towel and some water just in case. Oh, and scissors!”

“What do you need scissors for?” I asked, although the same could have been asked of me earlier.

“The umbilical cord.”

“I don’t think things will progress that fast, the pre-natal classes told us it could be around twelve hours before the baby comes out,” Jason said.

“Owww,” Diora moaned. “I think I’m having a contraction.” Jason rubbed her back and waited for it to pass while I grabbed the supplies. Although, it took me a while to find the towel since there weren’t any in the bathroom. I couldn’t exactly bring the whole body-dryer thing-a-ma-jig with me. I eventually found one tucked away in a linen cupboard in the hallway and returned to my daughter’s side. The party guests hovered about trying to appear helpful.

“Mum, I want you to come with me. You’ve been through this, I need you with me,” Diora’s eyes pleaded.

“I’ll go too,” Will said. I’ll sit in the front while Jason drives and keep him calm. Honey, you can look after Diora in the back. Okay?”

“Okay.” I think. I’d never seen anyone in labour before. I’d only seen those horror shows they made us watch in school—the ones that make you never want to have children.

“You guys go, I’ll look after things here,” Ryan said, ripping off his lizard mask and gesturing to the stunned caterers. “Could we get coffees and teas all round, please and make sure everyone gets a slice of cake. Mum, quick, you just need to make the first cut on the cake! It’s bad luck to have someone else do it.”

I looked towards the cake, then back at Diora and back at the cake again. “Okay then.” I raced to the cake and a caterer handed me a large knife. As I pushed it through the firm yet yielding sponge, I made another wish. That Diora’s birth would go smoothly, and that she and the baby would remain healthy. Satisfied with my intention, I turned to Ryan. “Save me a piece, will you?”

“I’ll save you the biggest piece of all, Mum.” He smiled and I hugged him briefly before saying a quick thanks to all the guests and returned to where Jason and Will helped Diora towards the front door. My daughter needed me and I wasn’t going to leave her side.

“Do you need us to come too?” Marge called out after us as we walked down the front steps.

“Thanks Beryl, but I think she’ll be right with the three of us. We’ll call you with any news,” Jason said.

Beryl, so that’s my mother-in-law’s name. Beryl McSnelly. Poor woman.

“I reckon it’ll be a boy!” Homer called out, his belly taking up more universal space than Diora’s.

“No, Reg, it’ll be a girl, I tell you,” Beryl replied, before closing the door.

Reg McSnelly.

Diora stopped by the side of the car. “Oooh, my stomach’s tightening. God, this is weird. Oww …” She leaned forwards onto the car and I rubbed her back while Jason started up the engine. Will opened the passenger side door and lay down a towel, placing the scissors into the pocket behind the driver’s seat and the water bottle in the drink holder. Jason took a sip of coffee through the straw of his in-built coffee machine, before turning his head around.

“How’s it going?”

“Can’t … speak,” Diora panted through her contraction.

“I think this one’s just about done, then we’ll get in,” I said, as Diora’s face relaxed again. “Okay, in we go.” I helped her angle into the passenger seat and offered her a sip of water, which she pushed away.

“I don’t want any,” she said, a tear running down her face. “I’m scared, Mum. What if I can’t handle the pain?”

“Oh, sweetie,” Jason began. “Do you want me to come back there with you?”

“No! Just drive and get me to hospital. I need my mum,” she blurted and another tear escaped. “Sorry, hon, I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed.”

Jason extended his hand behind the seat and rubbed her knee before returning it to the steering wheel and driving down the road.

“You’ll be fine, I know you will,” I said, placing her hand in mine—which was a mistake.

“Argh!” Diora gripped my hand tighter than the SlimFX Magic Suit gripped my torso. “Ooohh, oww, eoww!” A series of primal moans flooded the car and after a couple of minutes, subsided. “Oh man, they’re getting worse!”

“It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s natural, your body knows what to do.” Fat chance my words were of any comfort. From all I knew—which was little—about childbirth, it hurt like hell. Worse than twenty broken bones all at once, I read somewhere. Forget about whether she could handle it, I didn’t know if I could watch her try to handle it.

“Should I ask for an epidural?”

“Definitely,” Will said.

“She should?” I asked.

“Honey, don’t you remember how much easier it was for you the second time around when you had an epidural with Ryan?”

“Um, that’s right,” I replied and looked at Diora. “But you should do what feels right for you. Ask the nurses what they think.”

Diora nodded and leaned back on the seat, closing her eyes, as if to conserve all her energy.

“Oh, what the hell?” Jason said, the car slowing down.

“What? What?” Diora’s head shot up.

“It’s just a slight build-up of traffic, that’s all. Don’t you worry, focus on yourself and I’ll focus on getting us to the hospital.” Diora didn’t see Jason silently mouth a profanity.

The car came to a stand-still, car horns beeped and voices yelled “Oh, c’mon!” and “Hurry up losers!” Jason’s fingers drummed impatiently on the steering wheel and the car spoke:

“This traffic incident was unexpected. Recalculating route …” And after a few minutes, “There is no alternate route suitable at this stage, go straight on. Estimated travel duration at current speed … three hours and thirty-seven minutes.”

“No!” Diora exclaimed, just before her stomach hardened into a tight lump and sweat beaded on her forehead.

Jason thumped his fist on the steering wheel. “This isn’t happening. No way!”

“Give it a few minutes, maybe it’ll ease up. Might have just been a truck spilling its load,” Will suggested.

“If we don’t get to hospital my wife will be spilling
her
load!” he replied.

“Take a deep breath, mate. We’ll get there, don’t you worry. We can always call an ambulance if necessary, but I doubt it will be.”

“Okay, okay, it’s all going to be fine. Yep, all’s good,” Jason said, mostly to himself. “There’ll probably be hours and hours to go yet anyway.”

“Don’t say that!” Diora cried.

“Oh, I don’t mean hours and hours, honey, just that there’ll be plenty of time to get to hospital.”

“I need to puke.” Diora leaned forwards, her cheeks bulging and a hand flew to her mouth.

“No, no, no! Damn, should’ve brought a bucket!” Jason turned to face us in the back seat, his eyes darting everywhere. “Try and hold it in. What can we use as a bucket?”

Diora had her own idea though and simply opened the car door and released her stomach contents onto the road. Thank God the car was idle or the cars behind would have needed high speed heavy duty windshield wipers. A kid about six in the car next to us saw the performance and his face scrunched up. An older kid about nine sitting next to him opened the window and said, “Awesome! There’s a puking fairy next to us!”

Diora closed the door, wiped her mouth on the towel and opened the window. “I need fresh air.” Her hand went to her belly and she circled it firmly as another contraction hit. “Yeow! Argh, orgh, igh, ugh …” Diora went through all the vowels for a bit of auditory variety.

“Bloody hell.” Jason revved his engine as though that alone would make the cars in front move, but it only annoyed the driver in front who stuck his hand out the window with his middle finger pointing to the heavens.

“Hey! My wife’s having a baby, you moron!”

He mustn’t have heard or cared, because he gave his finger another sharp prod to the sky.

“I’m going to see what’s going on.” Will opened his door and got out of the car.

“Will, what are you doing?” I pressed a button on my side of the car and the window slid down.

“Just taking a look.” He stood on his toes and peered forwards, but that mustn’t have been adequate because he climbed onto the front of the car and stood up, the sculpted calves of his red Superman boots over his blue legs visible through the windshield.

“Hey Mum, there’s Superman!” The kid in the car next to us stuck his head out the window and pointed at Will.

“He’s wearing a costume, he’s not really Superman, you know,” the older kid said to his brother.

“How do you know?” he replied. “I think he’s here to save everyone from the traffic jam.”

“Yeah right, as if!” The older kid crossed his arms.

Jason peered out the driver’s side window. “Can you see anything?”

“Well, what do you know? I was right! A truck’s spilt a pile of boxes and the contents have fallen out.”

“Why now? Why now, of all times, huh?” Jason’s forehead glossed with sweat and he took off his wizard’s hat.