Even Angels Fall (39 page)

Upstairs is the bathroom and a large, double bedroom, with the decor very much following the same style as the rest of the house. Another bay window proudly displays the views outside and a huge, white, four poster bed takes up most of the floor space. Abbey is instantly charmed by the cottage and all its sweet little homely touches. Locally made ornaments and trinkets are set out proudly on display, along with large vases of fresh flowers, and various framed quotes of Irish poets and authors adorn almost every wall. It is perfect.

After what feels like a never ending day of packing, travelling and unpacking, Abbey is beyond tired. She stifles a yawn and is barely able to keep her eyes open as the time approaches 10:00pm. It has been such an exhausting few weeks and now that they are nestled away in the total peace and quiet of the Irish countryside, she can feel the lethargy taking over. Her mind has finally slowed down. It is no longer working overtime, trying to digest and process everything that she has been through and as a result, she feels as though she could sleep forever.

“Tired?” Alex whispers in her ear, startling her slightly. She is staring blankly out of the window into the darkness, nursing a glass of red wine in her hand as the log fire crackles and pops behind her.

“Yes…” She admits, “Exhausted, actually…”

“It’s been a long day… week… year…” Alex smiles forlornly and she nods in agreement, “I’m sorry it’s been such a struggle, Abbey…” He croons softly, placing her glass of wine on the windowsill and pulling her gently into his arms, “But it will get better…”

“I know. I think this trip will be good for us. It’ll give us a break from everything, we can get some perspective back… and we get to spend some time together…”

“Well, I’m definitely on board with the last part…”

Abbey reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses Alex softly but as she pulls away he holds her firmly in place, kissing her back ardently and leaving them both breathless.

“So, how tired are you exactly?” He grins against her mouth, and before she even has time to respond she is in his arms and half way up the stairs.

The following morning the sun shines brightly in the cloudless sky, piercing through the soft white curtains that are draped across the bedroom window. As Abbey stretches out lazily, her hand nudges something by her side and she rolls up onto her elbow in surprise, staring open mouthed at Alex who is still sleeping soundly next to her. His breathing is heavy and his eyelids flicker softly as he dreams. ‘What time is it…?’ She wonders to herself, instantly turning and glancing at the little vintage alarm clock sitting on the bedside table. 9:45am. Alex is still asleep and it is 9:45am. That is a definite first. Perhaps he got up in the night? She was dead to the world; it isn’t as if she would have noticed? But it doesn’t look like he has moved and he seems so peaceful and rested. Still amazed, Abbey carefully leans down and gives him a gentle kiss on the head before climbing out of bed and tiptoeing downstairs, trying her hardest not to disturb him.

It looks like another beautiful day outside and as Abbey stares up at the clear blue sky, her thoughts suddenly turn to home. It hardly seems fair that they get to be somewhere so beautiful when the others are separated, cut off, and no doubt struggling with the situation. She quickly reaches for her phone and types out a message, sending it to Lucy and Sophie. She tells them that they have arrived at their destination safely and both she and Alex are missing them all like crazy. It is the one thing she hates most about all this, being away from the rest of the group, and she hopes that they are keeping themselves safe and coping the best they can. Although deep down she is sure that they will be fine, it is still worrying, being so far away from them.

Eager for a distraction, Abbey mindlessly fills the kettle and sets out two mugs, placing a spoonful of coffee in each. They had only managed to grab a few things to eat and drink as they rushed out of the flat so will have to go shopping later and stock up, especially if they are going to be holed up here for weeks.

Her stomach grumbles loudly at the welcome thought of food just as Alex shuffles into the kitchen, yawning and scratching the back of his head. He is only wearing his boxers and Abbey takes a moment to appreciate the sight.

“Good morning…” She smiles and he winks as he leans down to kiss her, “You slept well?”

“I did…” He states, surprised, “A little too well… It’s weird. I’m not used to getting a full night; I can’t remember the last time I managed that…”

“Well, this is how normal people function Mr Insomniac, better get used to it…”

“I doubt one night will have cured me for good but I do feel better…” Abbey’s stomach rumbles loudly again and Alex smiles as he snakes his arms around her waist, nuzzling the side of her neck.

“Sorry…” She blushes, “I’m starving!”

“In that case how about we rustle up some breakfast and eat it in bed… spend the day curled up in that four poster…?”

“Hmmm, I like the way you think…” Abbey laughs as she prises herself out of his grip and slides across the room, opening the fridge to display it’s lack of contents, “But rustle up breakfast with what, exactly?”

“Oh yeah…” He frowns, scratching his head again.

“Sleep really doesn’t agree with you does it?” She laughs and he shrugs as his hair flops down over his eyes.

“Go get a shower so you feel more human, then we can go stock up on food and explore the town…”

“Is that the plan for today then?” He asks, pouting in mock disappointment.

“Yes, yes it is… now go…!” Abbey turns him in the doorway and slaps his bum as he walks back through to the living room, grumbling something under his breath.

“That’s sexual harassment you know…” He shouts as he rounds the corner to the stairs, and Abbey smiles to herself as she pours out the coffee, nervously checking her phone at the same time.

No replies.

If Abbey was asked to describe Ballycastle using just one word, it would have to be idyllic. It holds so much character, with its charming little houses and their perfectly manicured gardens, the picturesque marina and the friendly hustle and bustle of the Town Square.

After raiding the local supermarket and buying enough to feed a small army, Abbey and Alex spend the rest of the day strolling around, taking in the sights and familiarising themselves with the layout. It is all brand new to Abbey, but for Alex it is simply a case of reacquainting himself with his childhood home. She isn’t overly sure what effect - if any - it is having on him, as she never quite knows what Alex is thinking. He seems happy enough though, smiling and laughing, telling her tales of where he used to hang out with his friends, showing her his old school, and gasping out loud at various store fronts that have - rather unsurprisingly - changed in the last ten years. There is only a brief moment when his good mood falters and it occurs as they walk past the end of the street where Alex used to live with his Mum. Whether they happened across it by accident or on purpose she is unsure, but they do not venture down it. It clearly holds too many painful memories that Alex doesn’t wish to confront.

It is a completely different way of life in this little seaside town. Peaceful, quiet and relaxing, the pace is much slower here and it is in stark contrast to the manic chaos that they have left behind them in Leeds. It is something that Abbey could quite easily get accustomed to and she finds herself secretly hoping that this issue with Marcus will take at least a bit of time to get resolved, so that she can hide away in this welcome tranquillity for a while longer.

The view from the patio of their lovely little cottage is even more striking at sunset. The clouds are illuminated by the low lying sun and the ocean shimmers below. The ragged cliff edges frame the scene perfectly and behind them the huge, majestic Knocklayde mountain bears down on them, covered in an abundance of deep purple heather. The birds sing in the trees above and Abbey sighs with utter contentment as she rests between Alex’s legs - her back to his front - on a wooden sun lounger that they discovered propped up against the far side of the house. The outdoor fire pit is crackling beside them as they lay wrapped up in a large woollen blanket.

“Penny for your thoughts…” Alex asks, turning slightly to kiss the side of Abbey’s head.

“I was just thinking about how easy it seems here…” She answers, a little reluctantly, “Like the further away we get from home, the further we are from all our problems. It’s nice…”

“It is…” He agrees, “But you know we can’t just run away from everything. It doesn’t work like that…”

“I know. I know we can’t stay here forever…”

“Would you want to?” Alex asks, his voice rising in pitch as he is unable to hide his surprise.

“Live like this you mean? Me and you, with nothing and no one else to worry about… yeah, maybe I would…”

“There’s a big part of me that wants that too… but…”

“It’s OK…” Abbey shrugs, tilting her head to look at him, “You don’t have to say it. It isn’t just about you and me, I get that. We have the others back home… responsibilities and obligations…”

“Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t hide away with you forever if I could, Abbey Miller…”

“I know…” She smiles, taking hold of his free hand and locking their fingers, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything…”

“Is it hard for you, being back here… truthfully?” There is a long pause and Abbey holds her breath as she waits for Alex to answer.

“In a way… yeah…” He finally replies, “The last time I set foot in this town I was a completely different person… young and very naïve. I guess coming back here and the nostalgia of it all just brings it home…”

“Brings what home…?”

“I don’t know…” He sighs, wearily, “How much I’ve fucked up in my life I guess…” Abbey’s heart constricts and she turns in her seat so that she is lying on her side, resting her head on Alex’s shoulder. He stares down at her with eyes older than his years and she lifts his hand up to her mouth, kissing it gently.

“You can’t think like that. No one knows how their life is going to play out or what will get thrown at them. You had a pretty rough start…”

“I suppose… It doesn’t stop me from wondering what my Ma would think about all this. What she’d think of me… if she’d be proud…”

“I’m sure she is…” Abbey whispers sincerely, but Alex shrugs and shakes his head, seemingly unconvinced.

“You know we used to go for walks all the time. My Ma loved to walk…” His expression becomes almost childlike as he recalls a distant memory and Abbey pulls the blanket tightly around them, before curling up in his arms, “She used to take me to the top of Fair Head and we’d look out across the Ocean. On a clear day you can see right across to the coast of Scotland. She used to say that we were on top of the world… right at the very top… and no one could touch us…”

“She sounds great, you’re Mum…”

“She was. She was an amazing woman. She lived a hard life, struggled and fought like hell… but she finally found her peace here. It just never felt like enough for me. It was only one tiny part of the world and I wanted to see it all…”

“And now…?”

“And now, I think I understand her more…” He admits, “I think the reason my Mum loved it here so much is because of how isolated it can be. She adored small town life because it was so removed from all the drama and bullshit she’d managed to escape. With the exception of my dead beat Dad her life was pretty happy towards the end. Maybe that’s why she appreciated it so much… maybe you have to go through real struggle to realize that the quiet life ain’t so bad…”

“How did she die?” Abbey asks, unable to hide her intrigue any longer.

“A car crash…” Alex answers bluntly, but his eyes suddenly darken and Abbey can tell from his expression that there is clearly much more to the story. Her curiosity is burning, but something about his demeanour stops her from asking any further questions.

They lay there for several minutes in a reflective silence, listening to the rhythmic crash of the waves below them in the distance. Alex could never have predicted that his life would follow the path that it has. All those years ago, walking along the beach hand in hand with his mum, he had his whole future ahead of him. So much promise. Abbey can relate. Two years ago, if someone had told her how much her world was going to change she would never have believed them. She had it all planned out; her path, her future, it had all seemed so certain… and then everything unravelled in the blink of an eye.

If Alex’s mum hadn’t died when he was so young he never would have moved to Dublin with his uncle. He might never have lived in London and as a result he never would have crossed paths with Tom. It could have turned out so very different for all of them, if just one of those things had played out any other way. Just like if Ryan hadn’t taken his own life on that miserable night two years ago, Abbey wouldn’t be hiding out in Ireland with this beautiful, complicated, troubled man that she has fallen head over heels in love with. In fact she wouldn’t have the faintest idea that Alex even existed.

A sudden pang of sadness shoots through her chest at the thought and she quickly dispels it. It is scary how much he has come to mean to her and she can’t even begin to imagine her life without him. Especially now that they are so far away from home, cut off from their friends and everything they know. It feels like it is just the two of them against the world and for the moment at least, being here together is all that matters.