End Game (11 page)

Collin actually looked like he was going to
cry. I didn’t know what to do because I could feel the tears trying
to escape my eyes. What the hell was Rayanne thinking? She needed
to give this guy another chance. Then it hit me! Rayanne isn’t as
fearless as she thinks. She is terrified of being hurt by him.

I leaned in and gave Collin a quick hug.

“She will be fearless again with you Collin.
I know I shouldn’t promise this, because Rayanne can think for
herself. I know her Collin, and that love is very much still there.
I promise. Just teach her to not be afraid anymore.”

“Thank you Hannah.”

“No problem.”

Before I could finish, I could hear my name
being called from down the block. I turned to look, and saw Zane
running towards me in his running clothes. Great! Exactly what I
was trying to avoid. I could not deal with Zane now. First, he
would want to know how I am, and second I have to deal with the
fact that everything he said to me is probably forgotten. I am
convinced he was suffering from head trauma.

“I am so glad I caught you before you started
running Hannah.”

Zane leaned into Collin and I could hear him
say, “Thanks man.”

“No problem Zane. I wanted to talk to her
about stuff anyway.”

“What the hell are you guys talking
about?”

“I had to take care of stuff at the house,
and I knew you would be running today, but I didn’t want you going
alone. So, I asked Collin to keep you occupied before I could get
here.”

I stood there stunned. What the fuck?

“I didn’t know that I needed babysitting. So,
Collin what was your fee for watching me?”

I am so angry right now, but at the same time
I can’t believe how bitchy I sound. I am oddly proud of myself. Old
me would have just sat back and said nothing about this.

Collin looks at me and he seems genuinely
hurt by what I said. I feel not so proud of myself right now.

“Hannah, I swear I really did need to talk to
you. I just really agreed with Zane that, maybe, you shouldn’t be
out running or walking to class by yourself right now. Jason still
goes to school here, and he knows that you were the one that got
him kicked out of the frat.”

How had I been so stupid to not think that
Jason wouldn’t be a problem? Everything Collin just said makes
sense. I am such an idiot.

“Collin I am so sorry. I never should have
said that to you. You and Zane are right. I am sorry for getting so
bitchy to both of you.”

Zane turned and took my face with his hands
and pulled close to his lips. He smelled so good. How can someone
smell so good so early in the morning?

“First, Hannah, I am glad that understand why
I didn’t want you to go anywhere alone for the next couple of
days.”

He slowly pulled me closer to him so his lips
where practically kissing my ear and the he whispered the next
part.

“Second, don’t ever apologize for sticking up
for yourself. It made me so damn proud of you. It also was the
hottest thing I have ever seen.”

What the fuck was that shit! Did Zane really
just say that to me? Okay, it’s worse than I thought. He has brain
damage. I just sat there staring at Zane. I must have looked like a
fool, because I am pretty sure I had my mouth wide open and no
sound was coming out. I don’t know how to handle this new side of
Zane I have been seeing.

Zane leaned into my ear and whispered, “Stop
over thinking everything Hannah.”

I don’t know how he always knows what I am
thinking, and why does his coffee and toothpaste breathe smell like
the sexiest thing I have ever smelled. I don’t even know if sexy
can be a smell. All I know is that Zane whispering into my ear, and
feeling his breathe on me, is doing things to my body that has
never happened to me before.

I want to scream, what the fuck, at the top
of my lungs. I am so confused by Zane, but I suck it up and try to
not over think it.

“Lets just get through all this stuff with
Jason and out of the way, and then you and I will have the talk
that we need to have.”

“What do we need to talk about?” I say it in
my most sarcastic voice. I know that we have a million things to
talk about. I feel like he has so many things to say to me. I don’t
get why he just can’t tell me now.

Zane starts laughing at me, “You know we have
a lot to talk about Hannah. I am just trying to wait for the best
time for it.”

“I was being a smartass Zane,” I smile my
biggest smile at him.

“I love seeing this new side of you Hannah. I
feel like everyday you peel this new layer back and learn this new
part of who you are. I am so thankful that you have let me back
into your life and that I get to see you grow.”

All of a sudden we hear Collin clear is
throat. I realize that this situation going on between Zane and I
was probably making Collin a little uncomfortable. I didn’t realize
how intimate and close Zane and I were to each other.

“Listen guys, I don’t want to interrupt
anything that is happening right now, but I thought that you would
want to know that Jason is walking toward us right now.”

Chapter
Seventeen

“Shit! Hannah, I want you to go with Collin, back
into your apartment,” Zane said in a stern tone.

I wanted to argue back with him, that I can
stand up for myself and confront Jason, but the look in his eyes
told me he was serious and not playing around. Quite honestly, I
was scared shitless about what Jason would say or do.

“I will go inside if you promise me that you
won’t do anything stupid. He isn’t worth getting into trouble over.
You have to promise me. Please.” I was trying to sound as calm as I
could, but my voice was cracking with the unshed tears I was trying
to hold in.

“I promise that I won’t do anything he
doesn’t deserve.”

“That doesn’t leave with me with a lot of
confidence, because he deserves to have the shit beat out of
him.”

Zane started laughing, hugged me, and then
kissed my temple. It was not the time to feel tingles all over my
body from that simple kiss, but I guess my body doesn’t realize
this.

The next thing I knew, Collin was pulling me
inside the building, and as I turned around, a confident and
unafraid woman came out.

“Hey Jason! I see your walking a little
funny. Hope your equipment can still work. Actually I hope you
can’t ever get it up again!” I screamed at him just as Collin shut
the door to my building.

I know he heard me, because I could hear him
screaming and calling me a stupid bitch.

“Hannah, I want to tell you that was a stupid
move, antagonizing him like that…but that was fucking
hilarious!”

Collin took me into his arms and hugged me.
It was a weird feeling, because he is a really good-looking guy,
but for the first time that hug made me feel like I had a
brother.

Just then, we heard the bathroom door open,
and Rayanne came out in only a towel. I felt Collin see her. His
whole body tensed.

“What the hell Hannah!” Rayanne screamed at
me.

I had to hold in a laugh, because it was the
silliest thing in the world for Rayanne to be jealous of this hug.
It also made me feel good that she thought I was competition.

What the hell is wrong with me? I should not
feel good that she sees me that way. She is my best friend, and I
would never in a million years, even if I liked him like that, do
anything with him.

“Rayanne shut up. You know nothing like that
would go on. Collin is hugging me because Jason is outside right
now with Zane.”

Collin let go of me and turned towards
Rayanne. “You would have been so proud of your girl here. I tried
to get her inside before he got near her, but Hannah just had to
dig in a little that he is walking funny today.”

“Oh my God, Hannah. I am so fucking sorry. I
know that you wouldn’t do anything with this douchebag
anyways.”

“Gee, thanks Rayanne. I can see that you
still see me the same way. How many times can I explain myself to
you?”

“I don’t know Collin. How about until you
start telling me the truth.”

Collin turned towards me and pulled me into a
hug.

“Hannah, I am going to check on how Zane is
handling Jason. If I don’t see you again today, I am totally up for
this weekend. Maybe I will get some ink too.”

Collin let me go, walked up to Rayanne, and
put her chin I his hand. I noticed she didn’t flinch or try to stop
him. Maybe this “getting them back together” idea wouldn’t be that
difficult.

“Rayanne, I can promise you that I am telling
you nothing but the truth, and I will keep telling you the truth
until you finally believe me. Honestly, I think you know I am
telling the truth, and what you feel for me is freaking you out. I
am here to say I am not giving up us. Oh…one more thing. I love the
towel look on you. I can’t wait to see you without it again.”
Collin said this and then gave Rayanne a wink.

I winced when I heard that, because I knew
Rayanne would not take that well, and I was right. The next thing I
knew she was slapping Collin across the face.

“Collin you need to get the fuck out
now!”

“I am leaving Rayanne! Just know that slap
has not stopped me. I won’t be giving up on us. Once you can be as
brave and ballsy as you like to make everybody believe you are, you
will finally be able to accept the fact that you love me.”

I stood there with my mouth hanging open. I
can’t believe I just witnessed this. Okay, I know that I said I was
not attracted to Collin, but damn that shit was hot. I don’t know
how Rayanne will see it, but at least I know he won’t give up.

Collin went to the door, turned around, and
smiled the biggest, cockiest smile I have ever seen.

“I will see you later Hannah. And Rayanne…you
can pretend you won’t see me later, but you and I both know you’ll
see me in your dreams.”

“You are a fucking asshole Collin!” Rayanne
screamed at the now closed door.

“I can’t believe that cocky asshole. How
could he think that I would want him back?”

I didn’t know what to say, because I had
never seen Collin act that way, and the truth was he was right. I
could tell Rayanne loved him and was terrified to admit it.

“Ray, I think he is trying to prove to you
that you still have feelings for him. I mean, if you really didn’t
care, I don’t think he would bother you so much.”

Rayanne stared at me for a minute. I wasn’t
sure if she was going to start crying, or beat the shit out of me
for saying that. I didn’t have to wait long before I got my answer.
Rayanne was suddenly on the floor crying her eyes out.

I ran over to her, and just grabbed her and
held her while she rocked back and forth. I had no idea what to say
to her. I just sat and listened to her cry.

“You know…I know that you are right. I do
still love him, but I hate him too. How can one person make me feel
more than I have ever felt in my entire life, Hannah? I am scared
of him. It’s easier to believe that he is lying to me than to face
my feelings for him. Now, even if I do say I believe him, I may
have ruined it forever. What do I do Hannah?”

“I can’t tell you what to do Ray, but I can
tell you that you haven’t lost anything. That man is so completely
in love with you that you could slap him and kick him in the balls
a thousand times, and he would still want you.”

Rayanne looked at me with tiniest smile on
her face and started laughing.

“I highly doubt that he would still want me
after I punched him in the balls a thousand times. Plus, how would
he be able to think after bashing his ‘brains’ in?”

I started laughing, and for some strange
reason mixed with the laughter, I start to cry. I’m not completely
sure why at this moment I feel like crying. Rayanne is the one that
went through something and somehow I decide I want to be
emotional?

“Hannah, honey why are you crying?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if it’s because
of dealing with Jason.” I tell Rayanne that, but I know deep down
inside it is jealousy that I have towards Rayanne, and what I know
she will have with Collin.

“Don’t hate me for saying this Rayanne, but I
think I am jealous of you and Collin. I can see that you two will
end up together, and I guess I so badly wish I had that. I hate
that I want that so much. I got away from my mother, and came here
to grow, be a better me. All I can think about is Zane and how much
I wish he looked at me the way Collin looks at you. I feel so weak.
I want to be independent and strong on my own.”

“Okay, well first, I am going to call you an
idiot.”

I looked at her and was completely confused.
“Why am I an idiot?”

“You’re a idiot for everything you just said.
Wanting someone to be there for you, to have your back, and love
you, even on your worst days, does not make you weak. Being able to
be honest with another person emotionally and physically takes
courage and guts. Look at me. I have no guts at all. Collin scares
the crap out of me, because I know that if we ever get back
together, I have to be brave, open up, and show him all of my real
flaws and insecurities.”

I take a minute to think about what Rayanne
just said. I never looked at being in love and needing someone as
making you strong. I only saw it as being too weak to take care of
you. I want to learn to love me, and depend on me, not another
person. I think I have a lot to think about on the subject of
love.

Rayanne and I both turned to look, as the
door to the apartment opened. Zane walked in and he didn’t have a
scratch on him. I hope it was because no fight happened, or that he
got all the punches in.

Rayanne and I wiped our eyes and got up from
the floor. We must have looked like a hot mess sitting there.