I shut the door behind him, and he leans down to pet my dogs. “I like your place.”
“Thanks. I’ve had it for a little over a year now. It was hard to find something on this side of town with a yard.” I walk to the kitchen. Opening a cabinet, I reach for a vase but am unable to grab it.
“I’ll grab it,” Neil says from directly behind me. His breath brushes the hair on the top of my head.
“Thanks.”
I step away, and he easily grabs the purple vase and hands it to me. After filling it and placing the colorful assortment in the water, we head out to his SUV. He opens my door and helps me up, and then he rounds the hood and slides in his side.
“I thought we could try the new seafood place, if that’s okay.”
“Sure, sounds great.” I look out the window as the town passes us by, and the further I get from my house, the more my gut sinks. Not that I’m scared; it’s just that I don’t want this. I don’t want this guy. I want one who doesn’t want me back, and it sucks.
“So, are you from here?”
“Yeah.” I clear my throat and turn to look at him. He’s handsome. Strong jawline. Bright blue eyes and light brown hair. Plus, he’s a cop. “Born and raised. What about you?”
“I lived up north but applied for and got the job here four years ago.”
“Oh, cool.”
His hand slides over mine and gives it a squeeze. “I’m glad you agreed to do this. I’ve been looking forward to it all week.”
Instead of answering, I smile and try to hold my hand still, when I really just want to yank it away. He rubs his thumb along the top of my hand the entire way to the restaurant, and I breathe a sigh of relief when he finally removes it to park.
This is what Ty does to me. He makes me a mess around other men. It’s so difficult being intimate with anyone. Any boyfriend I had, I ended up breaking up with him because he just wasn’t Ty. It’s not fair of me; I realize this, so I’m really trying not to compare Neil to Ty.
The entire time we’re at dinner, I’m contemplating my life. Here I am with a sweet, nice, handsome man with a good, respectable job. He’s clearly interested in me and has been nothing but polite and charming. Instead, the only man on my mind is a dirty-talking thug.
Certainly, something is wrong with me. Maybe it’s some twisted version of survivor’s guilt or something. I mean, I did kill a guy, but it was only because he was going to kill Ty. Ty might act as if he belongs on the streets, but I know better. He doesn’t. He’s been my savior more times than I can count. He isn’t bad. He’s good … so, so good.
After two glasses of wine, I have water. Before I know it, Neil’s paying the bill and wrapping an arm around my waist to lead me outside. Either I did a splendid job of faking it, or he’s sick of me already. The ride back to my place is quiet, with nothing but the sound of the radio playing quietly.
He doesn’t hold my hand this time, and I silently wonder if I’m giving him a bad vibe. Can he tell I’m not really here with him? Can a man really sense when a woman is thinking about someone else? I don’t really care anymore, though.
I guess I’ll just be a spinster. I don’t need a man anyway; I have my dogs.
When we get to my house, he hops out, opens my door, and walks me up the front steps. When I dig my keys out of my purse, I stick it in the deadbolt and turn it but don’t open the door yet.
“Thank you for dinner. I had a nice time,” I lie. It’s not really him, though. It’s me. As phony as it sounds.
“Me too.” He steps closer and leans down to press a gentle kiss to my lips. “I’ll call you.”
I don’t have the heart to tell him no. “Okay.”
He nods at the door, waiting for me to go inside. I smile and open it, twisting the deadbolt after gently closing it.
“Hey, kiddos!” I rush to the back door to let my dogs use the bathroom, and put their food out while they’re doing their business. When they all run back in, I go to the bathroom and take a shower then tie my robe around my waist.
Stepping out onto my patio, I let the dogs out one more time, and then lock the sliding door behind me. Once I shut all the lights off, I head upstairs to my room.
As soon as I step foot over the threshold, a blood-curdling scream rips from my throat.
“How was your date?” Ty asks.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
“How was your date, Jessa?”
He doesn’t move from his seated position on the edge of my bed, but the timbre of his voice is enough of an indicator to tell me he’s pissed.
I swallow and avoid his eyes.
“Look at me,” he barks. My eyes make my way over to him. “How was your fucking date?”
Now that my nerves have calmed from seeing him, my anger begins to take hold. This is the guy who fucked me and didn’t so much as leave a goodbye note. Well, two can play that game.
“It was great.”
His brows snap together, and he stands. Shit.
“It was, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Drop the robe,” he demands, stalking toward me.
I move around him and dash to the other side of the room.
“Don’t play games with me. Drop the fucking robe.”
The veins in my neck throb, my stomach muscles tighten, and a rush of moisture rolls down my leg. “No.”
“No?”
“You left,” I point out, lowering my voice so he understands how pissed I am.
“Yeah. And now, I’m back. Drop the robe.”
He lunges forward and catches me, backing me up against the wall. His neck twists and turns as he looks at every centimeter of my face then rubs his thumb across my lips. A growl reverberates from low in his throat, and his mouth crashes against mine.
I press my lips together in a laughable protest, but he coaxes my mouth open with his tongue. I can’t resist him. It might make me weak, but he makes me feel good, so I don’t really care. His fingers untangle the knot in my robe, and he takes a step back as he opens it and lets it fall from my body. “So pretty,” he murmurs. “Fuck, you’re pretty.”
He steps forward, and at the same time his chest rubs against mine, he cups me between my legs. “He touch this?”
“No.”
“That’s right. Nobody else touches this but me.”
I should be so mad right now. I should kick him in the nuts. But I don’t. I freaking melt like a puddle of goo for him. All I’ve ever wanted is to be with him. To have him possess me in ways I’ve only dreamed.
His booted foot roughly kicks my legs farther apart, and then he drops to his knees. I plaster my hands against the wall to give myself some leverage. His tongue trails up from my inner thigh, and I watch as he licks the moisture there.
When he reaches the apex of my thigh, he sucks hard, causing my hips to arch off the wall. With one hand, he pushes them back and bites the lips of my pussy.
I cry out, and he chuckles, spreading me open for him. He does nothing but look at my most sensitive area that’s already throbbing. “Your pussy’s hungry tonight.” He stands up and walks over to my reading chair. Before he sits, he takes off his gray sweats. His long, thick, hard cock springs free, and another rush of moisture floods me.
Once he sits, he points at his lap, and I eagerly rush over to him. Putting a knee on either side of him, I begin to lower myself, but he stops me.
“This isn’t about you. You’ll fuck me ’til I come deep inside you, then you’re going to get up and take your fine ass to bed.”
“What?” I gasp. My thighs burn and shake in anticipation.
“You let another man touch you. Put his lips on you.”
I begin to crawl off him ’cause fuck him. I might want him, but I won’t let him dick whip me. Who is he to tell me who I can or can’t touch?
I’m a few inches away. Grabbing me with one hand by my hip, he pushes me down at the same time as he thrusts up and enters me fully.
“Oh, shit,” I pant.
“Ride me, but do not come,” he grits.
“Ty,” I whine, as I slide up.
“That’s right.
Ty.
I’m the one you’re fucking. Me, baby. Don’t forget that. Now, ride me.”
So I do. Like the slut I apparently am, I ride him hard, chasing the orgasm that’s
right there
. He holds my hips and guides me, and after a couple of minutes, I’m at the peak already. He pulls me flush with him, and I feel the release of his orgasm coat me as his fingers flex into my hips. I try to grind against him, but he doesn’t let me move. Damn it. My back begins to sweat, and tears brim my eyes. Fuck, he’s really not going to let me come.
Without a word, he stands up and gently tosses me on the bed. “Ty,” I whisper, rubbing my thighs together.
He pulls up his pants, reaches over in my nightstand, and pulls out my vibrator. “You don’t get to come on my cock tonight. Remember that next time you let another man touch you.”
Even in my intense state of arousal, I can feel the hurt in his words … I can see the pain in his eyes. I’d be just as mad if I saw him with another woman, so I can’t really blame him.
He leans over me and gently kisses the tip of my nose. “I’ll let you have this, though.”
He runs the tip of my bright pink wand between the swollen lips of my pussy, and I arch off the bed. When he switches it on, the hum of it hits me right where I need it. My walls clamp down around nothing, and I scream as the orgasm I thought he was going to deny me rushes through me, crashing against my core. I whimper, feeling a painful pleasure ripple through me. Getting some, but not quite enough.
“You need my cock, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I cry and reach for him, pulling him closer.
He frames my face with his hands, pushes his pants off again, and then slides into me in one smooth thrust. Nothing is better than he is; no vibrator even comes close to the feel of his smooth hardness inside me. We both moan, and I wrap my legs around him to pull him in even deeper. He rests his forehead on mine, and as we watch each other, he slowly but thoroughly makes love to me.
I gasp as another wave builds, and when it reaches its crest, we say the other’s name before it crashes down. Ty’s biceps shake, and my legs fall open as he slows his movements until he freezes above me.
Before I’m even all the way down from that high, his body heat vanishes, and he leans over and kisses me. I close my eyes for a moment of bliss, but when I open them, he’s gone.
Chapter 9
Ty
I’m sitting in a strip club … no, it’s not even a strip club. It’s a freaking brothel. Marco is on my left, and I subtly try to scoot my chair away from the woman giving him a blowjob. Her ass is right up in my face, and her stanky crotch makes the whiskey I’m drinking turn sour in the pit of my stomach.
“You want in?” Marco asks, pointing to said ass.
“I’m good.”
“Ahh, what? You get out, and suddenly, you’re too good for my girls?”
I chuckle a bit and run my finger along one of her ass cheeks. “Nah, man. You know your shit’s tight.” I smack her, and she emits a yelp around Marco’s dick.
“C’mere and sink that cunt on me.” He grabs her by the hair, and she squirms her naked body until she’s centered over him and then she sinks down like he demanded. Marco takes the cigarette out of his mouth and closes his eyes.
“Later, brother.” I stand and clap him on the shoulder.
“Next week.”
“You know it.”
I nod at the bouncer and head outside. Once I get around the corner, I dry heave against the brick wall. My truck’s just around the alley, and when I reach it, I get the fuck outta here and head back to my place.
I have my clothes off before I even reach the bathroom. I scrub my skin and allow the hot water to wash away some of the nastiness. Nothing seems worth dealing with this shit anymore, but I don’t have a choice. I wish I did, but that night six years ago took away my choices. Hell, before that, really. I don’t think my life was ever my own.
Marco likes control … He likes to feel like the fuckin’ king of a pretend palace. And even though we’ve had our … differences, he thinks he still has power over me, and for that reason, he keeps me alive.
Jessa’s the only pure thing in my life. Her sheer beauty is enough to make my dirty heart clean again. Shit, the last time I remember having a clear conscience was when I was, like eight. Growing up with a hooker for a mom skewed my perception of reality.
I was dragged into her world and haven’t been able to get out of it.
As I’m drying off, I hear my phone ringing. I walk out to the kitchen with a towel wrapped around my waist to answer it. “Yeah?”
“Seventh and Prospect. Midnight.”
The phone clicks off. I run my fingers through my hair and take a breath before getting dressed. I grab the duffel bag full of cocaine on my way out and slide the burner phone in my back pocket.
* * *
By the time I’m done, it’s almost 2:00 a.m., but I need to see her. I need to touch her and remind myself why I’m doing all this.
I park around the corner two blocks down. When I get to her house, I pick the lock on her back door and head straight for her room. I toss treats at the dogs and take my shoes off before I go up the stairs.
When I open her door, my dick turns to stone just by the smell of her room. Lavender.
Chucking off my sweats, I pull the covers up and slide beneath them while I pull her against me. I thrust my hips and press my dick between her ass cheeks.
A startled gasp leaves her mouth, but I whisper against her neck, “It’s just me.”
“Jesus. Don’t do that. You scared the shit outta me.”
“Sorry.”
She nestles back further into me and sighs. “I’m out of commission tonight.”
I continue rubbing my lips along her skin. She tastes so fuckin’ good everywhere. “It’s okay. I just wanna hold you.”
Her weight becomes heavier against me, and I flex my arms a little tighter to get her closer. I bury my face in her hair and close my eyes to sleep for a couple of hours.
When you’ve lived your entire life watching your back, sleep becomes a luxury. Good sleep is unobtainable, so when I wake up four hours later and the sun is starting to rise, I know I’m getting too comfortable with her. She brings me so much fucking peace that I don’t think straight when I’m around her.
The cool air hits my warm skin when I slide out of bed. I leave through the back door, feeling more rejuvenated than I have in years, after getting that much sleep.