Dreams (14 page)

Ellie felt completely confused. What did Spirit mean? From the way they kept alternating in her mind, she was sure he was trying to tell her there was a link between them all. But what was it? She thought hard
. I guess I helped Troy, Joe too, and I did all I could to help and comfort Merlin even though I wasn’t able to save him.

A clump of nettles came into her head again. It was as though she was in Spirit’s head, experiencing his feelings. She could feel the need for them. It was coursing through her, deeper than thought, completely instinctive…

Instinctive.
Ellie slowly drew in her breath as things started clicking into place. Of course! The times she’d helped Troy, Joe and Merlin, she’d simply gone with what her instincts were saying, but with Lucifer…

“I haven’t been,” she whispered. Her eyes widened as she thought back. Over and over again she had sensed that Lucifer wanted to be left alone and yet what had she done? She’d gone closer to him, tried to touch him. Time after time he’d used his body language to tell her to back off, but she’d been so caught up in doing what had worked with Troy that she’d ignored what Lucifer was telling her. How could she have been so stupid? No wonder he hadn’t wanted to connect with her. She’d read enough books on working with horses and seen Joe working with the youngsters enough times. She knew that one of the basic rules to get a horse’s trust involved proving that you could listen to them—and that meant responding to their signals. She hadn’t done that!

She remembered how she had once thought that she didn’t need horse-whispering techniques to help horses, because she could actually talk to them. Well, that only worked if they would speak to her and they wouldn’t do that unless they trusted her.

“
That’s
why you’ve been telling me to listen,” she breathed to Spirit. “I thought you meant I should listen when Lucifer talked to me, but you were telling me I should listen to him
before
he talked—that I should listen to what my instincts were telling me. That I needed to do that if I wanted him to talk.”

He snorted. She shook her head. The pictures he had sent to her suddenly made sense, the pictures showing her standing a little way off from Lucifer, doing nothing. She had thought she hadn’t been getting the message clearly, that she wasn’t understanding what she needed to do. But the truth was he’d been telling her that all she needed to do was simply watch, listen, respond and wait.

She was overcome with a wave of remorse. All this time she could have been helping Lucifer if she hadn’t been so carried away by what she thought she
had
to do. She’d let him go on being unhappy because she hadn’t moved on from the way she spoke to Troy. But they were such different horses. Troy loved people. He had sought out her touch and been keen to link minds. Lucifer was wary and reserved. Picasso too, she realized, as she remembered her difficulty talking to him when she’d tried a month ago. She could have kicked herself. She wouldn’t dream of riding every horse in the same way, so why had she thought that one approach would work when talking to them?

“I’ve been so dumb,” she said to Spirit. “I ignored everything I know.”

Only because you wanted to help so much
. There was no blame, just love.
You’re learning still.

I should have learned faster.

Mistakes happen
. She felt a blanket of calm wrap around her and pictures of Troy, Merlin, Joe and Picasso flowed into her mind. She knew what he was saying: be happy for the ways in which she had helped.

A lump suddenly formed in her throat. Whatever she did, Spirit only ever looked for the good.

I’ll try again with Lucifer
, she told him.
As soon as I can.

She felt Spirit start to send her a wave of encouragement, then suddenly he tensed, his head lifting.

Keyed into his emotions, Ellie instantly frowned. “What’s the matter?”

A single word jumped straight into her head from him.
Go!

Ellie blinked.
Go where?

To Lucifer.

Lucifer?
Fear gripped Ellie as she stared at Spirit.
What’s happening?

He needs you now.

Ellie’s heart turned a somersault as she remembered seeing Lucifer in the menage with Luke. What was happening? Not stopping to ask more questions, she turned and ran.

As Ellie ran up the slope to the menage she saw Lucifer plunging around wildly, fighting for his head, ears pinned back. Luke was sticking like glue to the saddle. “Oh no, you don’t!” He brought his whip down on the horse’s hindquarters with a loud smacking noise.

“Luke, don’t!” Ellie shouted.

Maddened, Lucifer reared up. Luke threw his weight forward.

“Luke!”

But Luke wasn’t listening; he brought his whip down again. With a squeal, Lucifer wrenched his head free from Luke’s restraining hands and bucked over and over again, great twisting bucks that even Luke with all his skill couldn’t sit on. On the third buck Luke fell forward on to the horse’s neck. The fourth sent him crashing to the floor. He hung on to the reins but, with a squeal, Lucifer pulled back, wheeled around and galloped straight at the fence.

“No!” gasped Ellie as Lucifer gathered himself and soared over the top pole, reins flapping and stirrups banging against his sides. He set off up the hillside at a gallop.

“Stupid horse!” Luke yelled, scrambling to his feet unhurt. “Come back!”

“Yeah, like that’s going to work!” shouted Ellie, fear for Lucifer racing through her. If his leg caught in the reins he’d crash down and maybe break a leg. Or what if he got on to a road? “How could you be such an idiot?” She swung around to Luke, eyes blazing. “Why did you hit him like that? Now look what you’ve done. Anything could happen to him—” She broke off, realizing there was no time for blame. They needed to act—and fast. They had to get Lucifer back. Her mind turned to action. “Look,” she said decisively. “I’ll go after him on Spirit. You take your motorcycle.”

Luke’s mind was already on the same tracks. “Yeah, I’ll go on to the road and if he comes through the trees, I’ll head him off.”

Ellie turned and ran back down the slope.

“What’s going on?” demanded Stuart as she grabbed Spirit’s bridle from the tackroom.

“Lucifer’s jumped the fence and gone into the woods. Ask Luke!”

Spirit was still waiting anxiously by the gate. Ellie threw his bridle on. “Come on, boy!” she said, vaulting on his back.

A few minutes later, they were cantering away from the yard through the woods. The track led upwards. The trees were thick in this bit of the wood, which Ellie hoped would work to her advantage because it meant Lucifer would probably have stayed on the path. There was no sign of the black gelding, though.

What if something happens to him?
she thought frantically, desperately trying not to think about what had happened to Merlin when he was hurt. “Come on, Spirit.” Clinging to his mane, she urged him on faster. He responded eagerly, mud splashing up around him.

After a few minutes, the track forked into two. Spirit came to a halt.
Which way?
Ellie felt sick. It was impossible to tell which way Lucifer had gone. The ground was churned up in both directions. There were no stray black tail hairs or useful clues. Whatever should she do?

Oh help, Spirit, help
, she thought, sitting back in dismay.

Spirit snorted, then set off resolutely down the right-hand track, breaking into a canter within a few strides. Ellie grabbed his mane to stop herself falling off. “You think it’s this way?” She ducked to avoid a branch. Spirit speeded up, swerving around a corner, almost catching Ellie’s leg on a tree.

“Steady, boy!” But she was relieved the track they were on led up the mountain and not down to the road.

Digging her knees into his side, she hung on like a limpet as Spirit raced up the hill. Three times Spirit chose the direction they should go in and then suddenly, as they climbed higher and the path became even narrower, he stopped. She clicked her tongue and nudged him with her heels. “Come on, Spirit!”

But Spirit refused to move. He pawed the ground.

Ellie hesitated. The path seemed completely clear. What was he telling her? Fighting the deep-rooted instincts pushing her forward to find Lucifer, she shut her eyes, took a few calm breaths and tried to connect with Spirit.

As her mind opened, Spirit sent a picture of the black gelding. She had a strong feeling that he was close and saw herself walking on up the track alone.

You want me to go on?

Yes.

But not with you?

She saw a picture of Lucifer and felt waves of antagonism coming from him. She realized what Spirit was telling her. For whatever reason, Lucifer hated other horses, and as long as she was with Spirit she didn’t have a chance of getting close to him.

Slipping off Spirit’s back, she hesitated. It felt wrong just leaving him. But after everything that had happened she knew she had to listen to him.

Go. I’ll wait. You can find him. You have the ability.

Putting her trust in him, Ellie continued up the hill on foot. Her legs felt shaky and worry made her clumsy. Where was Lucifer now? She pushed her way past the brambles that swung out over the narrow track, tripping on tree roots, breathing in the smell of the wet undergrowth and mud. She reached another fork. Where now?

Listen for him.

It was as though she had Spirit’s voice in her head, guiding her.

She paused. Taking a few deep breaths, she focused on feeling calm and still, then reached out with her mind, listening, waiting.

A feeling of sharp energy rolled towards her from the left.
Lucifer.
She didn’t know how she knew he was there; she just did. She followed what her intuition told her and headed to the left.

The path wound around a corner. And then she stopped. The black horse was in front of her, head down, grazing, reins by his hooves. She’d found him!

She fought the urge to run forward and grab him.
Be still. Be calm
. Focusing completely on the horse, blocking out other thoughts, she spoke to him softly. “Hey, fella. How are you doing? You’ve had a bit of an adventure, haven’t you?”

The gelding lifted his head abruptly. He stared, muscles tense.

“It’s OK,” Ellie murmured. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Lucifer continued to stare at her, his ears back. She could sense his desire to be left alone.

She eased off the pressure, taking a step back.

I want to help. I’ll listen if you want to talk.

She felt as if he was pushing her away further.

She responded by taking another step back and saw the surprise in his eyes. His ears flickered as though he wondered if she was really responding to him.

Is this far enough?

She waited. For a long, long moment Lucifer watched her, and then all of a sudden he put his head down and started to graze again.

Well, at least he’s not running away
, Ellie thought. She decided to wait it out. Patience, not impatience, was needed now. She breathed in and out, imagining her breath running all the way down her spine and into the earth. She wanted to be as calm and open as she could be. Closing her eyes, she imagined gathering together all the love in her heart and sending it through the air to Lucifer. He lifted his head for a second, still chewing a mouthful of grass as he looked at her. She met his gaze calmly.
I’m here to listen if you want to talk.

A picture entered her mind but it fleeted away before she could see it properly. All that she caught was the image of a young black colt, just a few days old, standing by the body of a mare, and she felt an immense sense of loss and confusion. She shut her eyes and a jumbled mix of images started to crowd through her brain: the colt, several years older, in a field, pressed against a barbed-wire fence, being attacked by a group of horses; the mare again, her body still on the ground; a man shouting, hitting…

Ellie let the pictures flow, not questioning or pushing, just accepting what Lucifer showed her. She began to see the pictures as if she was the colt, felt the kicks from the other horses coming from the side and in front, heard the sound of squealing in the air, the flattened ears and whites of the eyes, felt the bite of the barbed wire as it punctured her skin where she was pressed against it—felt the terror and confusion he had experienced…

Oh, you poor thing.
She could feel the pain resounding through her own body, her heart pounding, the fear streaming through her. The pictures slowed. Ellie waited, sending out love and sympathy. The pictures came, slower now, starting from the beginning.

She saw Lucifer as a very young foal and saw his mother, lying dead on the ground. She felt his bewilderment at the loss, saw him searching for milk and finding nothing until a lady came along, kind and warm-eyed, who brought milk in a bucket. Ellie felt his happiness as he grazed in a field, happiness that increased when the woman came and handled him and chatted to him.

Ellie could tell there were no other horses around. Just the woman and the empty field. But Lucifer was happy. She saw him grow older and stronger and felt two winters pass, then she saw him in a horsebox being taken away.

She saw him arrive at a yard. There seemed to be horses everywhere. She felt the excitement running through him and saw him being turned out, not knowing what to do or how to act. Never having been with other horses, he instinctively behaved as he had when little, but the other horses met his playfulness with laid-back ears and annoyed squeals. The behavior they would have put up with in a young foal was not acceptable in an almost fully grown young horse. She watched as he butted at them, prancing around, biting their necks. The other horses grew snappier. The tension built; there were bites and kicks, then suddenly he was being chased by a bay pony and several of the others. He was trapped by the fence. There were horses in front and the bay was kicking out, but the barbed-wire fence prevented him escaping. She felt the blows, the pain, the wire…

The pictures changed. He was in a stable being seen by a vet. They kept him in the stable for a while, but next time he was taken out to the field he didn’t want to go, biting and kicking as he was led there, with the rough male groom smacking and shouting at him.