life. He took the mug out of my shaking
hand and placed it on the desk before
pulling me into his arms.
I stifled the wailing so as to not
frighten anyone in the office. My sorrow
came out in deep heavy breaths. I could
feel the Doc tremble as he held me
tightly, the stormy seas of emotion
sweeping through the room.
“It’s almost over, Violet. Hold on,
don’t let go. You’re almost there. I am
here now; you are not alone anymore.”
His hushed voice washed over me,
silencing the madness that loneliness
created.
“Violet, he doesn’t know.”
Shepard.
Looking up at him confused, I was
still too shaken to understand. “Doc, he
works for you, how does he not know?”
“He knows me as Balashov. He
believes he has been tasked with
recruiting you to work for me. That’s
why you’re here, remember?” Laughing
lightly before continuing, he knew my
neural processes were not working
effectively at the moment.
“It’s a beautiful day; we need to
walk, and you need some air. Let’s go
down to the river for a while. Go into
the washroom and get cleaned up, so as
to not distress the poor man. I will tell
him I wish to take you around Bern, and
will return in a while. He will be
pleased by this. Remember, he is my
employee, not my friend. He knows
nothing – do you understand?”
Nodding in agreement, I went
through the motions of what was taking
place. The small lavatory in his office
was nothing more than a toilet and small
sink. My reflection was once again a
stranger, yet not one I feared. The
woman staring back at me was someone
I always hoped existed. She was strong,
resilient, and loved. For the first time in
a while my heart held the seed of
something long forgotten. Hope. Hope
for a future, and a life. Hope to truly be
loved and love equally in return. Hope
that the past six years of hell had been
worth it.
Shepard was standing in the seating
area outside of the office, talking to the
Doc, buoyant at the news he was
receiving. He was getting the same thing
I was: hope. His eyes sparkled as they
took me in.
“Shall we?” The Doc raised his
elbow for me to loop through.
With a smile, I gently grasped the
crook of his arm and started to walk
towards the elevator, then stopped when
I heard Shepard call after me.
“I’m right here Violet.”
Giving a nod, I turned and
continued on. I caught the slight grin of
the Doc as we stepped in. Before the
doors closed, Shepard looked at me,
silently pleading me to say yes to what I
was being offered. The Doc patted my
arm in reassurance as we started to
descend.
“Is he as strong as me?” I quietly
asked. I could only pray for his sake he
was. The thought of destroying such a
beautiful soul pierced my very being.
“He’s stronger than you know,
Violet. Why do you think I chose him?”
He chose him.
An Audi SUV waited to take us to
the Old City of Bern. We stopped in
front of the Church of the Holy Ghost
and meandered on foot down the street
past Albert Einstein’s home and the
Samson Fountain.
The city was truly breathtaking. If I
were ever to disappear, surely it would
be a place like this. My hand remained
affectionately looped through the Doc’s
elbow as I took everything in. Neither of
us had any place to be at the moment
other than here. I had so many questions,
unsure of where to start. He knew I was
struggling to grasp reality, so he began
with what he knew to be my most
pressing question.
Shepard.
“How did he become a part of all
of this? How did you find him?”
He started to chuckle at my first
inquiry, peering at me in disbelief not at
the question, but at the circumstances.
“Of course, Violet we should start
there, since that is close to the beginning.
I took an interest in him when you started
to mention him frequently. I did my
homework on the chap and realized he
was valuable. He was smart, driven, and
most of all, would have no qualms
leaving the life he had in pursuit of
something bigger.”
“Is that why you chose me?” I felt
my brows scrunch together in thought.
“Partly, but now back to Shepard. I
knew if he cared for you, he would come
to your aid. You wouldn’t be alone.”
The light bulb clicked. He saw me
starting to put the pieces together and
continued speaking.
“I could not have predicted what
happened with his father. The only thing
I could do was send help to intervene on
both your behalves.”
A soft wind started to blow,
bringing the delicate scent of the water
to my nostrils. The sun warmed my face,
as if it were illuminating the shadows of
my understanding.
“Dr. Thomas,” I replied.
Our pace had slowed considerably
once we reached the river. Deep shades
of turquoise green snaked through the tan
buildings with terracotta tiled roofs.
Lush green trees dotted the hillside
before us as large colorful flags
decorated the streets all around.
“Yes, Dr. Thomas. While you were
in recovery, she told me the first thing
you said was Shepard’s name. He was
forbidden to see you. She saw him
sitting in the waiting room, only leaving
to use the facilities or get some water.
Your sister, Vivienne, was the only one
to show him any kindness.”
I couldn’t help but begin to cry
again. I knew this, she told me not long
ago. Just like he waited then, he was
waiting now. Once again, I was going to
leave him. Doc held the small of my
back and led me to a small bench on the
side of the riverbank. He handed me a
crisp white handkerchief that made me
laugh.
“People still carry these?” I smiled
as I gently blotted my wet face.
“One never knows when it will
come in handy.” With a weighted hand,
he placed it between my shoulder
blades.
“May I continue?” he asked
I simply nodded and continued to
blot.
“In the early hours of the morning,
Claira took Shepard back to see you.
She made sure you were thoroughly
sedated to prevent risk of you waking
and becoming upset. She let him come
and say good-bye. She knew you would
leave, because I sent her to get you.
Shepard has known for some time where
you were because of me. Because of
Claira, I was able to keep both of you
under my wing.”
Each piece snapped into place with
a loud crash. My hands covered my
mouth and I closed my eyes as I felt
shock come over me. He knew where I
was.
“The possibility of one day being
with you has kept Shepard going all of
this time. If he knew what I was having
you do, he would have intervened and
perhaps gotten both of you killed. I have
withheld the truth from him just as I have
from you, to keep you safe. When I
received notice from Beacon about your
family and what you were doing in the
lab, I knew I had to move quickly.”
“Not Alessa.”
His face darkened at his admission,
then widened as my body started to jerk
violently. The panic had finally seized
every nerve in my body. I was
subconsciously holding my breath for so
long that the world went sideways
before going dark.
Chapter 38 -
Wonderland
I started to rouse in the back of the
Audi as I heard the sound of doors open
then slam shut. The noise of aircraft all
around pierced through the confusion.
Upon realizing that I had awoken, Doc
opened my door and began to unsnap my
seat belt.
“We have to go now, Violet” His
voice was filled with urgency and
authority.
My arms and legs felt like lead
weights as if I were drugged. I must have
been drooling because he took a new
handkerchief to my mouth and gently
dabbed the corner. Throwing one of my
arms around his shoulder, he gently
lifted me out of the car and headed
towards the small jet that was being
prepared for take-off. As he slowly
walked up the small stairway, he once
again repeated the same words that
started this nightmare.
“What I am about to do is going to
frighten you, but I need you to trust me.”
All I could do was remain limp in
his arms like a mere rag doll being
carried by a child. Even if I wanted to
fight, there was nothing left in me to do
so. I was passed to a large man at the top
of the stairs, gently carried to a seat, and
strapped in. My head slumped over to
the side, only able to observe the
shadows of people as they came on to
the plane.
First I saw Doc, and then behind
him was Dr. Thomas, Alessa, and Mr.
Gladstone.
What the hell was going on? Small
whimpers started to escape my throat;
whatever was given to me must have
started to wear off. They stared at me
with pity and concern while talking
amongst themselves. The Doc got a call
from the pilot and walked towards the
cockpit. A few minutes later, he returned
and addressed the others.
“He’s here.”
Who’s here? I thought to myself,
still unable to speak or move. Even
opening my eyes took every bit of
concentration.
The shadows were cast into the
plane before the body entered. Another
large man entered dressed in jeans and a
grey thermal shirt with combat boots,
followed by the man who carried me
aboard, then one more.
Shepard.
No! This was not happening, this
was not real!
Once his eyes locked onto mine, he
went to lunge after me, but was
restrained by the muscular gentleman
who carried me aboard. Voices became
loud as Doc frantically worked to keep
him calm.
“I warned you about this, Shepard.
You need to keep it together or there
will be severe consequences, do you
understand? You have no idea what
she’s been through; she needs to rest.”
Claira came over to me and smiled
sweetly. Tilting my seat back so I was
lying in a more reclined position, she
looked at the man and told him to let
Shepard go. Motioning him to come near
to her, she lightly grasped his hand.
“Sit here by her, Shepard; you will
help her to calm down. She’s in shock
right now; I need to keep her sedated.”
Claira walked back to the front of
the plane and retrieved a small black
leather case, while Shepard gently
turned my head to face him. Holding
both sides of my face with his strong
hands, I could see the rage building in
his eyes. I was still unable to move,
despite the screams in my head. He no
longer cared that his employer was
sitting across from us. The moment I
arrived, all formalities went out the
window. Whatever happened to me
along the river must have scared Doc
enough to change his mind about him.
Damn, how long had I been out?
Claira came back over and lifted
my arm, revealing a heplock that was
taped inside of my elbow. A small
syringe removed some liquid from a tiny
glass bottle. She flicked the top a few
times to remove any air bubbles before
inserting the needle into the tube. My
eyelids grew heavy as the drugs coursed
through my veins. My skin started to feel
itchy with warmth.
Morphine.
I was going to be out for a while.
Just before going under, I heard his
sweet voice.
“I’m right here, Violet.”