discuss, Violet?”
Chapter 36 - Can
You Hear Me Now?
I was unsure how late it was when I
finally crawled into bed. Shepard had a
small night light on, anticipating I would
be too intoxicated to find the bed in the
dark. I knew I wasn’t being quiet,
because I kept telling myself to stop
giggling. I swore at one point, I told
Shepard to shut up and go back to sleep,
but I can’t be for sure. I remember
watching him sleep for a while – how
his face twitched while he dreamed, and
how wonderful his perfect skin smelled.
I was sure if he were to wake and catch
me with my face in his elbow, he would
think I really did lose it.
Within my wine induced bubble, I
pushed as far as I could without waking
him. The day old growth along his chin
tickled my nose as I held my breath to
drag it down his neck. My fingers raked
delicately, back and forth inside his
forearm, drawing out goose pimples.
Finally, I could no longer stand it and
lightly kissed along the dark trail
beneath his navel, leading into his black
trunks. If I didn’t stop now, I never
would. Crawling back up to my side of
the bed, I rolled to my side and closed
my eyes. Just before I went to sleep, I
felt Shepard reach over and pull me
snugly against his chest and breathing out
a sigh.
I awoke the next morning, still
secure in Shepard’s vice grip embrace. I
must have let him hold me all night,
which kind of frightened me. Even if I
was drunk, I normally never slept well
with anything touching me, much less
someone else. I felt his erection pressing
into my back, so I decided to be a little
naughty and innocently wiggled against
him.
Tightening his grip even more, he
murmured into my ear, “If you’re not
going to finish what you start, you are
not allowed to do that.” Quickly flipping
me over, he used his knee to open my
legs and pressed his hips deeply,
instantly making me hot. As he twisted
side to side a little, he began to chuckle,
“It’s not nice, is it?”
Rolling off the bed and leaving me
flustered, he walked away into the
bathroom, whistling. Getting dressed
quickly, I tied my hair into a knot and
held up the stragglers with my
sunglasses. My aunt and uncle were
already awake with a light breakfast on
the table and fresh coffee made. Shepard
strolled down the stairs, looking
cheerful and mischievous. He walked
over to the fire place and picked up a
piece of a log from the small pile.
“Hey, I noticed you have a lot of
wood still. Was the winter not that bad
here?”
He then looked to me and winked
where I mouthed back, “I am going to
kill you.”
Coming up behind me, he leaned
down and whispered into my ear, “Not if
I kill you first.”
The stab in my chest momentarily
took my breath away, but I shook it off.
Our interactions had become nearly
effortless, as if we had never been apart.
I could tell by the way he was treated
here that my aunt adored him. As we
were saying our good-byes, she hugged
Shepard once again and told him he
needed to convince me to stay – that she
would like having family close by.
Smiling, he hugged my shoulder and
said, “I’m trying.”
Without hesitation, she looked at
him point blank and told him, “Try
harder.”
Both of us allowed the tears to flow
freely at the short time we were given.
Even being here for only a day, I could
see myself coming over often for coffee,
or having them over to Ingrid’s for
dinner someday. Shaking my head once
again, the thoughts were not allowed
room to grow today. As Shepard was
starting the car, I had the sudden urge to
drive and focus my mind on something
else. I had nothing to lose by asking, so I
did.
“May I take the wheel for a little
while?”
He looked at me briefly as though I
had three heads, and then turned the
ignition off. Letting out an exaggerated
breath, he held the door handle for a
moment before opening it and stepping
out. I hopped in the driver’s seat and
began adjusting the mirrors and seat to
be more comfortable. I suddenly felt like
a teenager as he began to explain things
to me.
“Okay, Violet, this is a
Maserati
MC Gran Tourismo, not a Honda. This
car tops out at three hundred kilometers
per hour. It goes from zero to sixty in
four point eight seconds flat. You have
to be careful.”
I smiled and played innocent,
knowing full well what this car was
capable of. I had never driven anything
as nice as this, yet when I was younger,
Connor used to drive his dad’s BMW
M3, and he would let me speed along I-
25 after parties. I followed his
directions and drove exactly the speed
limit until we reached the Autobahn. The
moment I saw the sign indicating there
were no restrictions on that portion of
the road, I hit the gas and began to
weave around the slower cars.
“Damn, Violet, slow down!” His
hand was gripping the dashboard while I
drove, laughing recklessly.
“Simmer down, don’t you trust
me?” Keeping my eyes focused on the
road, I could feel his eyes boring into
me, yet he didn’t say a word. Leaning
back, he watched as I maneuvered
through traffic with precision. I knew he
had had enough, so I pulled off at an exit
and handed him the keys before going to
the bathroom. By the time we reached
Interlaken, I could feel the fight between
us brewing even stronger. It was
temporarily subdued after arriving at the
base of the Alps in Lauterbrunnen.
The hills on the way in were dotted
with cows and small farms. A large train
station greeted us as we first entered the
small town before pulling off to the left
into our hotel. The side of the large
yellow building with red shutters read
Hotel Staubbach. Dark wood paneling
and floors lined the reception area and
led to the dining area and commons
room. They gave us one of the heavy,
old-style, metal skeleton keys for our
room. After dropping off our luggage,
we peeked around and walked by a
small ice maker and tea stand.
“I bet you did this on purpose!” I
slapped the side of his arm after
“casually” passing by the refreshment
table.
“What? I thought you would be
thrilled with an ice machine, one of
those American luxuries people take for
granted.” He opened the small lid and
popped one of the cubes in his mouth,
smiling.
I slapped him again, making the
cube fall out of his mouth and onto the
floor. “You are so full of it, but you’re
lucky because I do like this place.”
Bending over into mock bow, he
swept his arm across the expanse of the
room, “I’m glad princess approves of
her sleeping quarters for the night.
Heaven forbid it be some place beneath
her standards.”
I gave him a scornful look and
walked outside to look at the waterfalls
in more detail. The sky was crystal blue
without a cloud marring the view.
Majestic snow covered mountains
peeked through the valley opening, so
grand that it appeared fake. Everything
looked so perfect. Distracted by the
beauty, I was startled when Shepard
came up behind me and whispered in my
ear, “I’m glad you like it, I hoped you
would.” Wrapping his arms around my
waist, he rested his chin on my shoulder,
looking at the view with me.
“I do, thank you.” I nuzzled a little
against his cheeks in appreciation.
“Good, because you haven’t seen
anything, yet!” His arm tugged me
towards the car and we drove a short
distance away to a large parking lot.
Light shone brilliantly in his eyes.
He couldn’t contain how excited he was
– similar to how I felt in Ettal. He pulled
our coats from the trunk and a few
bottles of water, then led me to a ticket
booth where he chose two passes to the
Piz Gloria. Movie advertisements were
everywhere, indicating a portion was
filmed at the top where we were headed.
As we waited in line to board the tram,
Shepard opened one of the small
brochures and talked a little about each
of the stops. We would first go to the
small town of Gimmelwald, and then
Murren, before traveling all the way up
to the top of the Schilthorn Peak where
the Piz Gloria was.
As we slowly ascended the
mountain, the larger peaks came into
better view. “Oh my God, this is
indescribable.” My eyes were not big
enough to absorb everything they were
taking in. I couldn’t stop snapping
pictures with my phone so I could hope
to capture a fraction of how incredible
this sight was…the charm of the small
wooden buildings and the farmers who
sold their cheeses, and the quaint shops
that carried souvenirs. The farther up we
traveled
and
walked,
the
more
breathtaking it was. Although we were
up high, we didn’t need our jackets until
we left Murren. It was fascinating seeing
towns where there were no cars,
perched precariously on the sides of the
mountain, yet bustling with life. I was
convinced it would be impossible to
live there and be miserable. If there
were a heaven, I was right on its
doorstep.
Shepard was humored by my
delight. I couldn’t get over it all. I was
that annoying gawking tourist, moving at
a snail’s pace. He eventually had to
convince me to get back onto the tram so
we could make the last seating for
dinner. As we climbed even higher into
the snow, I rested my back against his
chest, sedated by wonder. I spent so
much time peering into a microscope; it
was nice to feel small for once. Our
dinner was relatively quiet as we
enjoyed each other’s company and the
stunning vistas.
“This is the kind of place you bring
someone when you want to ask them to
marry you.” While I was taking a bite of
chicken, right on cue, a man dropped to
his knees at the table next to us and
asked his girlfriend to be his bride.
I set my fork down to clap with the
rest of the other patrons while staring
blankly at the plate in front of me, no
longer hungry. Sensing my sudden
discomfort, Shepard asked for the check
and pulled his coat on. I stepped out onto
the overlook while he settled the bill and
waited for him to join me. He leaned
over the rail without speaking for a few
minutes.
“Violet, why did that bother you
back there?”
Rocking back and forth on my
heels, I just shook my head. “I don’t
know; it just did.”
I heard the audible exhale as he
debated on how to reply. “I know you
are not going to take the job, no matter
what they offer you.”
Turning to face him, I tilted my
head curiously. “Oh, how do you
know?”
Laughing under his breath, he
looked out again towards the east. “You
haven’t mentioned it once this week,
except briefly last night. You might be
here physically, but mentally you are a
million miles away. I feel like you are
going to walk out of my life and I never
stood a chance. At least I know it’s
genetic now.”
My blood started to boil in my
veins; I could feel my lips starting to turn
up into a snarl, ready to attack. “How
dare you! My grandma did what she