Desperation of Love (11 page)

“Still with me?” he asks. I nod my reply because I don’t think I can speak right now. He chuckles and burrows his face in my neck, gently sucking me there as he slides his member inside of me. I gasp when he fills me completely. It’s been a while since I’ve been intimate with anyone so the feel of him inside me is both pleasurable and uncomfortable. He lifts his head until we’re face to face and he nuzzles his nose against mine. Not moving his hips, he allows me time to get acclimated to his size. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” I reply, loving the look of him right now. “I’m good.” I lift my head to capture his lips with mine. I can still taste myself on him, and I’m strangely turned on by it. Slowly, he starts to move his hips, and I swear it feels like I’ve died and gone to heaven. I lift my legs and wrap them around his waist, deepening the connection. He grunts his approval and increases his thrusts. I circle my hips, meeting his movements as the pleasure intensifies. The familiar buildup begins. It starts in my stomach, and as it grows, it travels outward, hitting each of my nerve endings and causing me to whimper mindlessly. He increases his thrusts, and I can tell he’s as close to the edge as I am. Somewhere in the distance, the sound of thunder vibrates, as our lips meet again, crashing together, capturing my cries as I shatter and Alex collapses on top of me. I cling to him tightly as he spills into me, not wanting to let go, trying to drag out every last piece of the connection between us. We lay there entwined together, coming down from the high and trying to catch our breath.

“Holy shit,” I say, as I finally regain my power of speech.

He lifts his torso slightly, allowing me to get lost in those honey brown eyes. He cracks a smile and places a kiss on my forehead. “I assume that holy shit is a good thing, because I think that was pretty fucking great.”

“That was pretty fucking great, babe.” He pulls out of me and rolls onto his back, taking me with him so that I’m lying partially on top of him. I let myself relax into him, reveling in the feel of him holding me and running his fingers through my hair. “Alex?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

He stops moving, and turns his head to face me. “For what, princess?”

“For waiting, even though I didn’t realize that’s what you were doing. I think it was the right thing.”

“You’re welcome,” he replies as he resumes stroking my hair. “Any regrets?”

“Nope. No regrets. I’m really happy,” I say, not quite believing that the words have come out of my mouth. Happiness is not a word that I associate with myself. Content, maybe, but never happy.

“That’s all I want for you.”

He always knows exactly the right words to shatter my immunity. I believe them when he says them, when he tells me what he wants for me, for us. He makes me want them too. “I think I’m finally starting to understand that.”

“Get some rest. It’s still early,” he says, giving me a gentle squeeze. I think I’ve just discovered what sex with complications is. To have the act be tangled up so deeply with emotion that the potential for heartbreak is too scary to even consider. I let the thought go and close my eyes. The feel of Alex’s arms and the sound of the rain lulls me back to sleep.

I hold onto Jordan as she falls back to sleep, unable to settle my thoughts long enough to do the same. I stare out at the rain as I stroke her hair, wondering how the hell she’s managed to make her way into my heart. I wasn’t prepared to give into her demand for sex this morning, but when she started talking about how special it would be, in this house where we first met, I lost the battle. How could I deny her at that point? And let’s be honest, I’ve wanted to have sex with her from the moment I met her. There’s only so much a man can take, and when she’s practically begging me for it, it’s fucking impossible to say no. That being said, I don’t regret it because it really was special. I think I’ve finally broken through some of her defenses. I’m not dumb enough to think that I’ve won the war, but I definitely won a huge battle with her this morning. I know her well enough to realize that she’s going to do something to push me away now. It may not be today, or next week even, but she’s going to get scared and do her best to fuck it all up. I just hope that whatever she does isn’t enough to drive me away for good. I’m willing to be patient, I’m willing to fight for her, but I’m only human. The only thing I know for sure is that I love Jordan more than I ever thought I could love anyone, and that thought alone scares the shit out of me.

I’ve been busy planning Elle’s baby shower. Her due date is quickly approaching, and I want to make sure that she has everything she needs. Besides party planning and working in the office, Alex and I have spent much of the last two weeks together. We haven’t slept apart since the day we made love for the first time, alternating between each other’s houses. Alex surprised me by clearing out space in his closet for me, and I gave him two drawers in my dresser. This was a huge step for me. Inviting someone into my space, giving him access to my life is something I’ve never done with anyone before. I did ask him to return my key, but he refused. Instead, he gave me a copy of his. Not quite what I had in mind but I suppose it’s a fair trade Truthfully, I like the idea of being able to come and go in his house as I please.

Alex left my house early this morning to go to the gym then meet with Victor and the construction crew at the new recording studio. According to Alex, everything in the space will be new and state of the art. He called a couple hours ago to let me know that he was picking me up. He said to dress comfortably and be ready at one PM. I finish curling my hair and throw on a tank top and jean shorts. I reach the bottom of the stairs just as my phone rings. I gaze at the caller ID and see my father’s number flashing on the screen.

“Hey, Daddy,” I say into the receiver.

“Hi, baby. I just wanted to check in. I haven’t heard from you in a while.” I realize I haven’t spoken to him in weeks. I’ve been too wrapped up in my time with Alex.

“Yeah, sorry, Dad. I’ve been really busy lately.”

“How’s that business of yours going?” The sound of the front door opening pulls my attention away. Alex comes strolling in with a sexy grin on his face. The sight of him gives me butterflies, and I have to focus to carry on the conversation with my father.

“It’s going really good, Dad. I’m swamped with work, actually. I’ve been thinking about hiring someone, but then I’d have to get an office, and I like working at home too much.”

“Jordan,” he says in his warning tone. He’s about to give me a lecture because he doesn’t quite grasp the fact that I’m an adult and can make my own decisions. It doesn’t matter how old I get, my dad has a way of always making me feel like I’m a little girl.

“Dad,” I reply in the same tone. Alex comes up behind me, wraps his hands around my waist, and puts his head on my shoulder. I lean into him, loving the feel of his arms around me.

“You have to do what’s best for your business, not what’s convenient for you. This is your future we’re talking about.”

“I know that, Dad, but let me enjoy my freedom for a little while longer, okay?”

“Okay, baby. I was hoping you might want to meet me for dinner tonight.”

“Uhh, sorry, Dad. I have plans today.”

“Oh, alright.” I can hear the disappointment in his voice, and it makes me feel guilty, but I already promised Alex I’d go with him. “Some other time, then.”

“Okay. How bout I call you next week and we’ll set a date?”

“Sounds great. Love you, Jordan,” he says.

“I love you too, Dad,” I reply before ending the call. I turn around in Alex’s arms and throw my hands around his neck, hugging him close to me. “Hi, baby,” I whisper, with a kiss.

“Hi,” he replies, a smile tugging at his lips. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah. My dad wanted to get together for dinner, but I told him I had plans.”

“If you want to go see your dad, you can. We can do this another day.”

“No, it’s fine,” I say, hugging him tighter. “I told him I’d call him next week to make plans.”

“Okay. You ready to go?”

“Yes. What exactly are we doing?” I ask, letting him go and cupping his face with my hands.

“You’ll see.”

I release his face and whine. “I want to know now.” I’ve never been good with surprises. I normally move heaven and earth to uncover them. Growing up, I never got a Christmas present that I hadn’t seen first.

He throws back his head and laughs. “Seriously? You sound like a brat. Let’s go,” he says, pulling my hands and tugging me out the front door.

Twenty minutes later, Alex pulls over on the side of a quiet country road. From what I can tell, there’s nothing around us for miles.

“What are you doing? Are we here? Are you going to kill me and dispose of my body here?” I look around, confused.

“Haha, you’re funny. We’re almost there. Put this on,” he says, handing me a blindfold.

“What?” I’m looking at him like he’s grown a second head as the blindfold dangles from my index finger.

“Just slide it over your head. You only have to wear it for a minute.”

“Alex.”

“Trust me, baby. I’ll reward you later,” he says with a grin.

I can’t help it. I smile at him. “Fine,” I say, sliding the blindfold over my eyes. I can feel the car move when he pulls back onto the road. We drive for a few more minutes then turn down a gravely road before coming to a halt.

“Stay there. I’ll come get you,” he commands. The deep timbre of his voice vibrates throughout my body, leaving me anxious for his touch. I hear the passenger door open and feel Alex’s breath on my neck, making my heart flutter. He takes my hand and helps me exit the car, wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me onto the dirt. We walk for a few minutes, and just when I think we’ll never get there, we finally come to a stop. Alex presses his body to my back, leaving his arms around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder. “Alright, princess. You ready?” he questions playfully.

I lean my body into him and nod my head. “I’m ready.” He releases his hold on me and I close my eyes as he removes the blindfold. My eyes flutter open and I inhale a sharp breath at the sight before me. My eyes start to burn with unshed tears as I take in the most romantic view I’ve ever seen. In the middle of a field stands what I can only describe as a teepee, made out of six large wooden sticks and draped in a sheer white fabric. There’s a beautiful blanket laid out on the ground with pillows scattered throughout. It’s finished off with a basket which I assume contains food. A single tear trails down my cheek as I struggle to speak. “What is all this?” I whisper.

“I just wanted to show you how you’ve single-handedly managed to emasculate me,” he says with a chuckle.

I throw my head back and laugh and elbow him gently in the stomach. “Way to kill the moment.”

“No, it’s a good thing,” he whispers in my ear, wrapping me up in his arms again. “Because now you know I’ll do just about anything for you.”

Oh my God, how do I even respond to that? There are no words that I can say to express how touched I am, how much his gesture means to me. The last few weeks with Alex have been like a reawakening for me. Pieces of me that were lost a long time ago are slowly making their way back to me. I know that it would have never happened without him. Alex will tell you he has no patience, that he wants what he wants when he wants it, but he’s wrong. He’s shown me nothing but patience since the day we met, taking the time to get to know me, and peeling back the layers until he got to my core, engraining himself into my world. Now I can’t picture my life without him in it. God, he’s smart. He knew exactly what he was doing this whole time, taking the road less traveled to get to me. “Alex, I don’t know what to say. This is straight out of a dream. I love it.”