Dark Solace (23 page)

I understood at last why Serena’s offerings
of food hadn’t been touched. “You—?”

“Yes, I’m the reason. I told all the other
guards if they ate any of what you left out for us, I’d hurt them.
I was dying for a taste, but I knew it would make me sick. I was
already failing by then—”

I reached out and clasped his hand.

“—
But I’d be damned if any of them were
going to have something I wanted for myself, if I couldn’t have
it,” Lash said, eyeing me pointedly. “Ever.”

“I’ll make you one as soon as we get back,” I
offered. “What kind is your favorite?”

“No,” Lash said gently. “I meant what I said
to Titus, Sar. I care for you deeply, but Devlin’s my best friend.
When we go back, I’m going to keep you at arm’s length like I did
before. We won’t be like this again, unless you get pregnant again
and you need me. Now that you’re fixed, that’s unlikely.”

“It would just be a pie,” I said, stroking
his arm gently. “I make them for Danial’s guards all the time.”

“You know as well as I do that it’s not the
same with us as it is with his guards,” Lash said gently. “I need
to be just your guard again, not your lover.”

“Can you do that?” I stated skeptically. “See
me all the time, and know I’m with him, and not with you? That I’m
with Theo?”

“It’s not saying that it’s going to be easy,”
Lash said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll think about us together like
this. I’ll still want you as much as I do now. But its right. And
you know as well as I that it’s what we need to do, unless you want
to give up Theo.”

I looked at him, shocked.

“Devlin’s not going to let you have another
lover, Sar, not when he has to share you with two other men
already,” Lash said with something like regret. “Not even if it’s
me.”

He was asking me to give up my marriage. I
looked away from him.

“I know you love Theo. Can you leave him,
Sar? Tell him that you want me instead? Devlin would probably amend
your Oath to include me, if you would agree to drop Theo. Danial
probably wouldn’t care, so long as you kept seeing him the same
days you do now.”

That wasn’t true. Danial was still harboring
fantasies of the three of us together, and he would never consider
Lash a replacement for Theo. As much as I cared for Lash, I
couldn’t consider that, either.

“Don’t ask me to do that,” I said softly, not
looking at him. “Not after everything he and I went through to be
together. I’m sorry, but I have to think of Devon, Lash. My son has
to come first. I feel so hypocritical saying that after the last
two days, but—”

Lash pulled me close. “I am not asking you,
because I knew that this is what you would say. I understand, Sar.
I know you don’t love me. And it’s okay that you don’t.”

Now I felt like pond scum. “I didn’t mean to
hurt you—”

“Shh,” Lash said gently, kissing my lips.
“You haven’t. You saved me when no one else could have. And let’s
be honest, only Devlin would have. He is my only friend, next to
you. If you need something done like when I helped you before, you
let me know. I won’t hurt Devlin, but anything else.”

Being given carte blanche like this from Lash
took me aback. “Thank you.”

“Now kiss me,” Lash said, moving aside our
food wrappers. “Titus will be here soon, and there’s not much time
left. Don’t waste it talking about what we can’t have. In the
little time we have left together, I want as many memories of you
as we can make.”

Lash abruptly stopped. “Was that enough
chocolate? I could go out, and get you more—”

I looked at him and smiled, putting my finger
to his lips. “I’ve had enough food, Lash. But I will always want
more of you.” I leaned in and kissed him eagerly.

Lash put his arms around me, his forked
tongue delving deep. I sucked it gently into my mouth, then
caressed it with my tongue. Lash groaned, squeezing me tight, then
lay me back on the bed and began kissing down my chest, tickling me
with his forked tongue as he slowly worked his way down my
body.

“Then I’m going to give you more,” Lash
hissed tenderly. “As much more as you can take. You might be sore,
but if I do this, you’ll feel only pleasure.”

“Then turn your body around, and face the
other way,” I said softly. “I don’t want you left out.”

His eyes widened. “You don’t have to do that
for me,” Lash said quickly. “I don’t expect it.”

“You’re getting it anyway. Come here,” I
ordered, reaching for him.

Lash let out a anticipatory sigh, then
flopped onto his back, his penis already stiff. I moved down
between his legs and caressed it, kissing his swollen shaft. He
thrust up lightly, trembling. I licked up his length, then sucked
the tip, tonguing the opening.

Lash let out a loud moan, his hands clenching
the bed covers. “No one’s done that to me in years,” he hissed,
blissful. “Decades. God, it’s like heaven—”

“You said you wanted memories,” I said
sultrily. “If that’s all you want of me, then you’re going to get
the best damn ones I can give you.”

Then the only sounds were of him crying out
as I took him deeply into me.

* * * *

Titus arrived at midnight, just as he said he
would. Lash and I had finished having sex for what we knew would be
the last time a few minutes before. We were lying in bed, softly
kissing each other, our bodies entwined. Titus knocked, but we’d
already known he was close by from the black feeling that permeated
the room.

Lash turned to me, sadness in his dark eyes.
He put his hand on my cheek as he had earlier, and touched me
softly, caressing me with his fingertips. He brought me in for one
last kiss, then got up from bed, and pulled on his jeans. I wrapped
myself in the bed linens and got up myself, heading for the
bathroom. I’d known I’d have to shower before going home, but I was
damned if I was going to lose any time with Lash doing it.

Lash froze, his hand reaching for the door. I
froze behind him, clutching the bedclothes to me.

“Lash,” a familiar melodious voice called,
hot with anger.

Dev.
I shivered, wrapping the linens
around myself tighter.

“This whole corridor is rife with the scent
of sex and semen,” Devlin said, his fury, hurt, and disappointment
in each word. “I know Sar’s in there with you. Open this door
before I break it down.”

Lash looked at me, then indicated the
bathroom. I went in and shut the door most of the way, peeking
through the crack.

Lash put his hand on the door, but didn’t
open it. “Yes, I’ve been with her, Dev. I’m sorry—”

“You took her from me,” Devlin growled.
“What’s worse, she went. How long have you been plotting this
behind my back?”

Lash opened the door. Devlin’s words cut off
suddenly

“We didn’t,” Lash hissed. “I hope you can
forgive me when I explain.”

“You...you’re young—” Devlin gasped.

Lash went out of the room, closing the door
behind himself with a click. Titus appeared inside the room, then
quickly locked the door from the inside.

“Shit, Titus!” I swore at him. “Why didn’t
you warn us?”

“Devlin had a right to know,” Titus retorted,
his red eyes glowing. “Danial, Theo, and he got back an hour ago.
They didn’t call first, they just showed up. Leri hid in Danial’s
bedroom when she heard them, and called me. Devlin was the first to
reach her. He knew Leri wasn’t you the moment he kissed her. But he
covered for you, making a show of taking her/you to Hayden. Theo
and Danial protested, but I showed up by that time, and teleported
her to the car. Devlin came storming out a few minutes later. As
soon as we cleared Danial’s driveway, he asked us where the hell
you really were. He had called home, and he knew Lash wasn’t at
Hayden either, where he was supposed to be. When he asked me, I
told him the truth. He ordered me to take him to you.”

“He would have known tonight, anyway,” I
said, dismayed. “I just wish he hadn’t found us like this. It makes
it look like we were having an affair, that this was all just about
us having sex.” I shot him a furious look. “Why didn’t you tell him
the particulars?”

“That’s Lash’s job to explain,” Titus rumbled
softly, handing me my duffel bag. “Devlin’s seen what you did for
him. I doubt he’ll be angry about you saving him.”

Titus was making a point that Dev would be
angry about the sex. Reckless as it was, I didn’t give a damn. “I’m
going to shower. I’ll be out as soon as I’m done.”

I took a nice long shower, dried off,
conditioned my hair with what was left of the hotel conditioner,
and put on my last change of clothes. Throwing my dirty clothes in
with the others, I opened the door, and then stopped in my
tracks.

Devlin was waiting there, sitting on the edge
of the bed, his head in his hands.

I was suddenly afraid, worried to break the
silence, worried he’d erupt in anger.

“Come to me, Love,” he said brokenly, without
looking up.

He’d been crying. I dropped my bag and went
to sit beside him.

“I’m sorry for my accusation,” he said
softly. “He told me all of it, told me what you did for him. He
told me that you did it for me, because you knew what he meant to
me.”

“Yes, that’s true,” I admitted. “But he also
means something to me, Dev. I couldn’t let him die.”

“Must you save us all?” Devlin said tenderly,
hugging me tightly.

“It’s become habit now,” I said teasingly,
then kissed his tears away.

“I knew something was wrong with him,” Devlin
said heavily. “Especially when his scar wouldn’t heal. But he told
me he was fine, and when he and Titus took Ebediah, and Sola, he
was not injured at all, the only one who wasn’t. I told myself that
was proof that he was okay. I didn’t want to think that he might be
failing—”

“That doesn’t matter,” I said softly. “He’s
well again. That’s what matters.”

“Hold still,” Devlin said suddenly. He leaned
over and, with a twist of his head, he nicked my neck, opening two
short scratches that were little more than paper cuts. Devlin
licked me, and then grabbed a tissue, grimacing and gagging.

My blood obviously no longer tasted like
summer, even though I wasn’t turned. What had happened?

Dev wiped his mouth off, and ran into the
bathroom, still gagging. He emerged, still moving his mouth
distastefully.

“I’m sorry,” I said with a shrug. “It was the
only way.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Devlin said. He pulled
me to my feet, then kissed my cheek. “I love you for you, not for
the way you taste. And in time, your blood may taste of summer
again.”

I heard in his tone how much he wanted to
believe that. I hoped for his sake it was true. “What is in my
blood that tastes so bad? The demon blood?”

“Some of what made me grimace is the blood
replenishing medication you took,” he explained. “You must have
grabbed the red packets instead of the blue ones that Stephen
always prescribed for you. The red packets are made specifically
for vampire assault victims, and so are bitter tasting for a
reason, to discourage further attacks by making your blood bitter
tasting for at least a week after taking one. How many did you
take?”

“Seven or eight?” I offered. “I lost count.”
It wasn’t surprising Devlin knew the taste. He’d probably loved
playing the seductive vampire at the window through the years, and
I doubted he would give up a lover unless it was his choice.

“Titus said Lash took over half of your
blood,” Devlin said, hugging me tighter. “I’m glad you’re
okay.”

“Did you forgive him?” I said softly. “Do you
forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive,” Devlin said,
letting out a breath. “If you had told me, I’d have prevented you
from doing it, and then he would’ve died. He is like a brother to
me, Sar, and except for the past year, I’ve been closer to him than
I was to Danial.” Devlin kissed my cheek again. “I’m grateful to
you,” he said gently. “Very grateful you saved him.”

“Grateful enough to release me from my Oath
to you?” I said teasingly.

“Hell, no!” Devlin said, grinning at me. “In
fact I’m taking you back to Hayden with me tonight. Titus said you
still need to rest. Lash said you hadn’t gotten much sleep today,
or last night.”

Lash had indeed told him everything. I didn’t
reply. The silence stretched.

“Sar, he told me you were together, both when
you were saving him and after. He also said he wouldn’t be with you
again like that unless it was okay with me. I took him at his word.
He has never lied to me, and I don’t lie to him, ever.”

Devlin’s tone was carefully neutral, but I
was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “And?”

Devlin sighed. “And if there comes a time you
want him to share our bed, tell him. If he asks me, I’ll probably
say yes. He told me today he would never ask if I forgave him, but
that’s him feeling guilty. It’s obvious you both have chemistry.
But you need to know that I’ll make you take a new Oath to me, as
the price for including him. It will have some new wording, because
I would want assurances from you about certain things. But I will
include him, provided you do that.” He kissed my neck. “I’m not one
to deny you a lover you lust for, provided you don’t deny me my own
special privileges.”

There was no way in hell I was giving Dev an
Oath with more rights than he’d already wrested from me. I didn’t
reply.

Devlin looked hard at me. “Tell me that you
understand what I’m telling you, Love,” he said harshly.

He was telling me I’d better never take
liberties with Lash again without his knowledge. “I understand,” I
said, nodding. “I’m sorry you found us like you did. It sounds
lame, but I was heading home with Titus tonight to tell you
everything—”

“Titus is a demon,” Dev interrupted, annoyed.
“He gets pleasure in causing pain. I’m sure he took this
opportunity to hurt me. But that doesn’t matter.” He picked me up.
“Let’s go home, Love.”