Commitment (2 page)

“I know. I’ll be glad when things are settled…at least when
something
is settled,” Cassidy chuckled.

“How are things looking…if you don’t mind my…”

“Oh, not at all. Custody should be settled sometime shortly after the first of the year. You know…Chris…he just, well…he has no interest in seeing Dylan, but he seems to have every interest in making my life hell.” It was a fact. Congressman Christopher O’Brien found every excuse he could to postpone court appearances, dodge requests for information or signatures, answer phone calls, or meet with a mediator. Just as Cassidy had predicted, her ex-husband had no interest in resolving custody of Dylan in a timely, much less amicable manner. He had not called Dylan in several months. He had begun making pointed accusations about Cassidy to the press. The saving grace for Cassidy remained the fact that Dylan was not only unfazed by his father’s absence; he seemed to be relieved by it. “I’ll just be glad to have it over with,” Cassidy confessed.

“How about work?” Helen asked.

“Oh….it’s good. The kids are great,” Cassidy smiled.

“You miss teaching full time, don’t you?” Helen inquired knowingly.

Cassidy shrugged. She did miss teaching full time. There had been a great deal of press coverage since her abduction the previous spring. Most of it focused on her relationship with Alex. Then, there was the ongoing custody battle with the congressman. That increased her visibility again. The combination of everything made finding a full-time slot problematic. She had settled for a tutoring position. It was the kind of program Cassidy believed in. She spent three afternoons assisting teens who had dropped out of high school or had been forced out of a traditional classroom setting in preparing for their GED.

Cassidy sighed. “Sometimes. Sometimes I miss it. You know, with Dylan in school and Alex away so much lately…”

“I understand. I remember those days,” Helen interrupted her daughter-in-law. Cassidy looked at Helen inquisitively. “Oh, well,” Helen began as she filled the tea kettle. “Nicolaus was away so much. When Alexis and Nicky finally were in school,
well…there were days it certainly felt a bit lonely.” Cassidy offered her mother-in-law an understanding grin. “Well, it won’t be forever,” Helen winked.

“Helen?”

“Hmm?” Helen responded. Cassidy gently shook her head as if to clear a thought. “Cassidy? What is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

The older woman made her way to the table and pulled out a chair to face Cassidy. “It is something. What is it?”

Cassidy closed her eyes and took in a deep breath for courage. “It’s not just the distance.”

“Go on,” the older woman urged.

“I…..”

“Listen, Cassidy….whatever it is that is bothering you. Well, I think of you as a daughter. I know you have Rose, and I…”

“Alex and I have been…No one knows…but we’ve been trying for a while…”

Helen’s smile grew. The only surprise in Cassidy’s confession was that Alex and Cassidy’s efforts to conceive seemed to be something they wished to keep a secret. “I see,” Helen smirked slightly.

“We haven’t told anyone. We agreed, actually. I can’t believe I am telling you.”

“Are you worried? Cassidy, a few months…that is not long,” Helen reassured as the kettle’s whistle blew.

“No. I don’t know. It’s just…every time she seems so disappointed. Then she’s away. I don’t want to disappoint her,” Cassidy sighed.

Helen put down the tea in front of Cassidy and reclaimed her seat. She took a sip from her cup and gently set it aside. “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to listen to me.”

Cassidy looked up with tears in her eyes. Helen was determined to calm the younger woman’s fears. The past months had been filled with an odd mixture of great joy and incredible
sorrow. Cassidy had been held against her will and come close to death. The president had been assassinated. President Merrow was one of Alex’s closest friends, and it had been a devastating blow for her daughter. Alex was shot, which Helen suspected motivated her daughter to make a formal commitment to Cassidy and Dylan as soon as she could. And, after a wonderful celebration at their wedding; the family faced the untimely passing of her husband, Alex’s father. Helen sighed and offered her daughter-in-law a sad smile. “You have been through a lot, both of you. I never; I never thought Alexis would want a family. She has a family. I don’t think you could disappoint her if you tried,” she said, grasping Cassidy’s hand gently.

“I probably just did,” Cassidy said tacitly.

“No,” Helen giggled. “From your mouth to God’s ears. I know nothing. I am curious why you both want to keep it a….”

“Part of it is the custody battle. Part of it…well, I think she wants it to be a big surprise to everyone,” Cassidy explained.

Helen’s laughter filled the room, and Cassidy looked up sheepishly. “I’m sorry, dear.” Helen wiped her eyes. “Surprise?” Cassidy’s confusion was evident. “Cassidy,” Helen tried not to start laughing again. “Your mother started a family pool on your wedding day.” Cassidy’s eyes flew open. “Frankly, I hope it does take a little longer. I bet February for an announcement.” Cassidy opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. “Oh, come now; you know your mother,” Helen reminded her. Cassidy chuckled. “I love my daughter, but I hate to break it to her, this is not exactly earth-shattering news.”

“Don’t tell her that if it happens,” Cassidy said with a halfhearted smile.

“It will happen when it is meant to happen. That’s how life is,” Helen said plainly.

“I hope you are right,” Cassidy said softly.

“Just don’t be surprised if my daughter’s reaction is not what you expect
when
it happens.”

“What do you mean?” Cassidy asked.

“Well, don’t ever tell her this,” Helen said as she bit her lip. Cassidy nodded her agreement. “Her father fainted when he found out I was pregnant. Dropped like a sack of potatoes,” she laughed.

“You’re kidding.”

“No. I’m afraid I’m not.” Helen laughed heartily at the memory. She shook her head, and her voice dropped to a whisper. “He seemed to know. He was convinced it was a girl from the moment I helped him off of that floor.” Cassidy watched as Helen grew pensive. “He loved her.” Cassidy tried to conceal her misgivings, but Helen immediately saw the younger woman’s doubt. “Oh, I know. He could be hard; so hard, particularly on her.” She let out a strong sigh and stood. “Give me a minute,” she said as she excused herself from the room.

Cassidy sat silently pondering her mother-in-law’s words. She had only met Nicolaus Toles twice before his death. He was cordial but hardly warm. Cassidy had watched Alex struggle to comprehend her father’s sometimes vicious and always pointed criticisms. It was incomprehensible to her how any parent could be so cruel. She sipped her tea and pondered her memories of Alex’s father. She was lost in her silent contemplation when she noticed an envelope being placed in front of her. “What’s this?” Cassidy asked.

Helen let out a sigh and shrugged. “I don’t know,” she answered, sighing at the perplexed expression on Cassidy’s face. Helen reclaimed her seat and pointed to the envelope. “Alex found a letter addressed to me in her father’s desk. That was with it.”

“Does Alex know?”

Helen shook her head. “No. I don’t see how she could. It was inside, addressed to you.” Cassidy looked to Helen hesitantly. “He said in his letter that I should give it to you when I thought the time was right.”

Cassidy tugged at her bottom lip with her teeth as she pondered the paper in her hand. “Do you know what it….”

“I have no idea what it says, Cassidy. It’s his writing. It is addressed to you. Evidently, he felt there was something he needed to say.”

“I don’t understand,” Cassidy whispered.

Helen smiled. “Nicolaus was a complicated man. He wasn’t always that way.” She paused and shook her head. “You know, we were apart for the first few years of our marriage; almost entirely. I was so relieved when he came home, supposedly for good.” Cassidy studied the woman across from her. Helen’s eyes had taken on a faraway glaze. “When Alex came, well, I thought that would settle him.” Helen closed her eyes and exhaled forcefully. “It did; for a while.” Cassidy sensed the sadness in the older woman’s voice and instinctively took Helen’s hand. “Oh, Cassidy. Things sometimes change. You love someone, well…you learn to accept those changes; even when you don’t understand them. He always had other commitments. My commitment was always to him.” Cassidy offered an understanding smile. “I don’t know what is in there,” Helen said. “I expect there are many things I don’t know.” Helen saw Cassidy’s expression darken slightly. “Oh,” Helen chuckled. “I know more than he or Alex, or even you might think. You live with someone long enough, well…There are no perfect secrets, Cassidy.”

“Why give it to me now?” Cassidy asked.

Helen took a moment to regard the younger woman before her. She took a deep breath and then gently touched Cassidy’s cheek. “Oh, Cassidy. You and I are very much alike; I suspect. Alex will always have other commitments. She is very much like her father in that way.” Cassidy swallowed hard. “And you, well, your commitment is to your family. So is hers. She just has a different way of showing it. She is her father’s daughter, even if she would like to deny that. I’ll leave you for a while. Read it or
wait. I have no idea what it says. I know two things. Two things I have always known. Nicolaus loved me,” she paused.

“And?” Cassidy gently urged.

“And, he loved his children. No matter what he said or what he did.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “He loved them.”

Cassidy felt Helen place a gentle kiss on her forehead and watched her leave the room silently. She loved the older woman. Helen was quite different from her mother. She was more reserved and quiet, but Cassidy had grown to understand Alex’s mother. She giggled inwardly. “She’s a lot like you too,” Cassidy mused aloud. She often marveled at how much Alex looked like her mother. Cassidy had come to learn that Helen was also extremely sensitive and thoughtful. They were qualities Alex shared with Helen. They were qualities not everyone took the time to see in Alex. Cassidy loved the sensitive side of Alex. It gave her wife a sense of vulnerability. In its unique way, that made Alex the strongest person Cassidy had ever known. “Well,” she sighed. “Let’s see what you have to say.”

“Where are you off to?” the congressman asked.

“Why? Will you miss me?” Claire Brackett laughed. “You have that pretty blonde waiting for you at home. What’s her name, again? Shelly?”

“Cheryl.”

Claire Brackett shrugged. “You like those blondes; don’t you, Congressman?”

“Jealous?” he quipped.

“Hardly. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“So? Are you going to tell me or not?” he asked.

“I have a meeting with my father,” she answered as she buttoned her blouse.

“Do you think he suspects?”

The redhead let out an animated guffaw. “Suspects? What? That I am working with Dimitri?” O’Brien nodded. “No,” she continued. “I don’t think he
suspects
.”

“Your father is no fool, Claire.”

She turned to him slowly with a smile of satisfaction. “He doesn’t suspect. He knows.”

“And that doesn’t concern you?” O’Brien was puzzled by his lover’s apparent lack of concern. Admiral William Brackett was considered by many to be the most powerful presence in United States intelligence circles.

“Concern me? No. Why should it?”

“Think you might be a bit over-confident,” he chimed.

Claire chuckled. “Not at all. It’s useful to me.”

“If you say so,” O’Brien answered.

“Christopher,” she said, smiling as she slipped her arms through her leather coat. “I am no more on Dimitri’s team than I am on my father’s.” He looked at her skeptically. “I don’t care about their agendas.”

“So? Then why? Why side with Dimitri?” he asked.

“There are no sides, Congressman. You sound as if you think this is cops and robbers,” she mocked him. “No one is in this to protect anything or anyone but themselves.”

“I’m not certain your father would agree.”

“Developing a conscience?” she laughed. O’Brien’s expression hardened. “Be careful with that, Christopher. Don’t go getting heroic ideas now.”

“I know my role.”

“Yes. I suppose you do. I’ll see you,” Claire said as she reached for the door.

“When?” he asked.

“When it suits me,” she answered, closing the door behind her.