Colour Series Box Set (26 page)

I close my eyes and try to get my breathing to even out as the fear creeps back up. Just as I think I may actually have a full blown panic attack Rowan reaches over me and pulls me against his body. He kisses my head and whispers on the exposed skin of my shoulder, “Goodnight Lauri, I love you.” Before I can answer him he’s asleep again. Being closer to him seems to calm my panic and not make it worse like I thought it would and sleep overtakes me quickly.

I wake up hot and the sun steaming in the windows onto my bed blinding me. I’m not a morning person today. I roll over and connect with Rowan’s very warm body. Then I see he’s awake and has been watching me sleep. That’s just creepy. Very creepy. I frown at him wondering what the hell he’s thinking. He has more than a little morning stubble on his face and I want to touch it. I pull the covers up feeling a little exposed and then I do reach over and run my had along his jaw. He’s smiling his cocky half smile at me. I have never actually woken up next to anyone before, I kind of like it, but it is also weird and uncomfortable. Rowan kisses me softly before his phone starts to buzz next to the bed.

I WOKE UP THIS
morning in Lauri’s bed; she was still asleep in my arms I was too afraid to move in case I woke her so I just lay there and watched her sleep. I know it’s creepy, in fact I felt totally creepy doing it. Watching someone I’m not about to kill sleeping is just strange and stalkerish.

The fresh tattoo on my side is hurting from lying like this but I still don’t move. I haven’t actually gone to bed with and woken up with anyone since Cassie and even then we never really cuddled or held each other. I’m in a whole new territory here. She felt so right sleeping next to me, her small body just fits with mine. Her ass is resting against my cock and my morning wood is loving it. I’ll have to move soon and go take care of that before she thinks I’m trying to force the sex issue. I’m not sure how I’m going to wait for her because my body reacted to her every move before I could touch her it’s only going to be worse now that I can.

I feel her waking up; oh thank god I can move. She pulls the covers up trying to cover her clothed body even more, hiding it from me. Then she runs her hand over my jaw. My dick reacts instantly and I’m rock hard, hidden only by the covers. I lean over and kiss her sexy mouth the soft groan that escapes her almost has me coming undone in my pants. Saved by my phone I hear the alert that a work message has come in and just like that reality bursts our little bubble.

I know that she’s aware that’s my work alert and I can see the almost disappointment in her eyes as I break our kiss. I press one softer kiss to her lips before I let her go. “I have to take that, I have to work today. I’m sorry.”

She forces a smile onto her face and I know she will battle this for a long time and she may never accept it I think she is battling harder with the fact that she does accept what I do and that is wrong. “It’s okay, don’t be sorry Rowan, I’ll be here when you get back. I promise. But right now I’m going back to sleep please close the curtains when you get up.”

I roll myself out of the bed. The situation in my boxers cannot be hidden at all. I try to discreetly adjust myself before I go to her side of the bed to close the curtains. As I turn to head to the shower I catch her looking, her bottom lip caught in her teeth and her eyes fixed on my Calvin Klein boxer briefs. I smile and carry on walking I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Well not yet. I know that she has never had a pleasant sexual experience and I want it to be right when she does I want her to be comfortable with me, with us. I need her to trust me completely first. She has to want it.

The last thing I feel like right now is working; I want to crawl back into bed next to her and touch her and hold her. Fuck I am not helping myself here. I turn on the shower to get hot while I look for some work clothes in my drawers. I toss a pair of Levi’s and a T-shirt on my bed and head back to the steamy bathroom. I instantly wish she was in the shower with me because I miss being close to her already, how am I going to survive today? This whole feeling thing is so new to me. I’m like a toddler with a new toy. I have no intention of letting her go now that she is mine. I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to have her in the shower with me her petite curves and the bright colours of her tattoo. I don’t dare imagine the things I want to do to that body. I want to show her the pleasures of being touched by the right hands. I want my mouth on every inch of her. Before I even realize what I’m doing I’m fisting my cock at the mere thought of making love to Lauri. I throw my head back as I release. Holy shit. If I can come like that just thinking of her I can only imagine what it will feel like to actually be inside her. I rest my head against the shower wall, how am I going to work today?

I force myself to get out of the shower and shave. As I wipe the steam off the mirror I’m met with my reflection and all I see is every single number on my chest. I don’t understand how I can love her and still be me. I’ll still be a killer, a murderer and bad man. Loving Lauri won’t take that away. I shake my head trying to rid myself of the thoughts creeping in and instead focus on today’s job. It’s not a hard job today, a simple house break in gone wrong to take care of a mouthy demanding mistress who is about to roll over and tattle to my clients very rich wife. I am not sure why people insist on wanting to tell why it is they what their victims dead. I really don’t care for me it’s a job I couldn’t give two shits who it is I am going to kill and why.

I make myself get dressed; I don’t dress up for jobs like this I need to look like any other guy on the street so jeans, a T-shirt and loafers are all I require. Oh and gloves. My work bag is packed and ready to go as it’s always in my office. I sneak a look in at Lauri before I leave, she has gone back to sleep and her body is draped over the pale green duvet. With the morning sun streaming through the curtains, her brightly coloured skin makes it hard for me to turn away. I want to go in there and touch the skin that lies exposed to me in nothing but a tank top and her boy leg undies my poor cock is ready to go again. I better get out of here. I should be home later this afternoon all going to plan I can spend some time with her then. I pull the door closed a little and bolt through the office to my car.

I turn my iPod on as soon as I pull out of the estate; music has a way of getting me in the right frame of mind to do a job. As Imagine Dragon’s blasts through the speakers I start to focus on the job I have to do. The drive passes quickly and I park my car in the dirty underground parking of the shopping centre adjacent to the block of flats where ‘mouthy mistress’ awaits her fate. I slip my gun into my belt and pull my T-shirt over it. A small back pack containing my gloves and the essentials I need to gain access and make this look like a robbery is all I take with me.

Before I actually break in, I knock, actually breaking and entering is hard work if she opens the door, I’ll be saved the effort. Well, what do you know mouthy and stupid she just opens the door for me, I’m guessing I am not the man she was expecting but I will take her, “Come in sexy.” So I walk right in and close the door before she notices that I am not who she was expecting and I see the fear and panic on her face. Strangely, she doesn’t scream or run just freezes in absolute fear right where she is. This is your funeral you should have worn more clothes, is all I can think as I aim the gun at her lingerie clad body and shoot one silenced shot right between her eyes, I don’t want or need her to suffer. I make quick work of her safe and make sure to take her phone, laptop and iPad before I leave again closing the door behind me. So simple. I dump her belongings in a bin near where I parked my car and then leave. It will in all honesty take days before anyone finds her; there is no CCTV anywhere. The cameras get stolen faster than they can put them up so no one bothers. I am pretty sure some low life walking through will find her things and take them before anyone thinks of returning them.

I get a sick satisfaction from my job. I know what I do is wrong and that a life shouldn’t be so easy to take but I enjoy doing it anyway. I was broken way too young to fix the way I view death. Mick raised me to separate my job and anything else, to be the nice guy people want to see in the light and a ruthless killer with no heart when they are not looking. Everyone has two faces, I just wear mine better than most.

I decide in the aftermath of my latest victim to stop by Callum’s office on my way home; it’s always good to have some sort of alibi, not that I would need it. So far I have yet to meet a police officer in this shit-hole; I have never been a suspect in a crime or even been to the police station. I’m invisible to them here, simply because I’m better than them. They’ve no resources and the crime outweighs the number of cops by too much for them to even try and keep up.

Callum’s latest secretary lets me through, he seems to go through them like loo paper these days, and he
can’t have a secretary and not bang her
he says. I think he should hire a gay man he would have less labour disputes and get more work done. He’s on the phone when I open his door, so I sit myself in a chair and put my feet on his desk.

He hangs up and shoves my feet down as he walks around the desk to sit next to me. “You have blood on your shoes Rowan; get them off my desk! Good god man that’s revolting.” In truth, I never even noticed the splatter of blood on my shoes until he said so. I should’ve changed in the car. He pours us each a scotch and after he gulps some of the amber liquid, he turns to me putting his feet on the desk cocky, asshole today. A silly smirk spreads across his hairy face; he needs a shave his beard is getting as bad as his hair. “So Lauri came to see me yesterday.” He says his tone poking fun at me. “She did?” I reply a hint of sarcasm in my voice. “Rowan, spill it you idiot what happened when she got home? I know all the mushy shit from her you can tell me the good bits.” The good bits, so that’s where his mind goes to, the gutter.

“There are no
good bits
Callum, you dick. She isn’t ready for that. You know she has only ever been raped right; sex and being beaten half to death have always gone hand in hand so no there are no good bits … yet. But I do love her, I mean really love her. And she loves me too, I am not so sure she loves all of me but she says she does. I kissed her and it turned my heart into a raging fire that I don’t think can ever be put out. Then I slept with her.” Callum cocks an eyebrow at me; I can see where he thinks this went. “Just sleep you pervert. Then I had to work and our little bubble popped.”

A smile spreads across Callum’s face and those evil green eyes have a light in them that I only see when he is up to something fun or forbidden. Callum’s my rock, my sounding board and above all he is brutally honest with me, always. “Rowan, you have loved that woman since she was a flirty little fifteen year old girl in the airport and you had to babysit her. You just never knew what love was until she moved into your house and was under your nose all the time. Do not break her Rowan. She’s different for you. Love is new for both of you just be careful. That’s all my friend be careful. She told me that you have the power to hurt her more than anyone because she loves you.”

His words slice into my heart, I never thought of the power I had over her only how much power she has over me. “I can’t change who or what I am Callum. I am afraid I will lose her because of it.” I spill my heart out to my friend while drinking his expensive scotch. “No Rowan, she loves you because of it. If you love her back she won’t leave. You and I both know you will never let her leave, even if she wants to.”

“Cal, did she tell you about the babies?” His scrunched brow and confused glare tells me she didn’t. He shakes his head and rubs his hands over his beard. “She said she still had secrets and I told her to tell you, so I am guessing that’s what she did.”

I wonder whether or not to share this with Callum but in truth it kept me up in the night and I am boiling over with anger the lengths Renzo went to hurt her both physically and mentally. Callum is the only person I can let that kind of steam off to.