Chasing the Music: For the Love of Music Book 0.5 (19 page)

Griffin shook his head and mouthed, “No.”

She cocked her head to the side and he could tell by her smile that she was going to make fun of him. “Awww… Don’t by shy. Come on. Bring out that little hottie of yours.”

Stacy stopped next to Griffin, clueless about what was going on. “Do we go?”

Dave rushed up behind them. “Go. Please. Just get out there.”

Griffin shook in anger. How could she take his song and screw it that way?

“Well, fine. You two won’t play?” Lita’s glare went from Griffin to the audience. “I need a kiss after that song. Who’s gonna give me a kiss?”

Griffin paused, his heart exploding, fury and sadness and frustration smashing around in him so fast he couldn’t think.

Lita glanced toward Chandler who waved his arms in a ‘no way’ signal and Lita stepped to the front edge of the stage, once again scanning the audience. “I bet one of you guys would give me a kiss. Someone needs a damn kiss after that song.”

Her head snapped toward Griffin again.

Dave grasped Griffin’s arm. “Just get out there for a minute before she does something colossally stupid. Please.”

Lita’s eyes were still on him. Daring him.

“Please,” Dave begged. “Before she embarrasses herself. Before she pulls some random guy off the floor and we need security to pull him back down.”

Griffin jerked away from Dave, fury pulsing in every step. She took his love song and made it horrible. That was pathetic and shitty and she knew it.

He grasped Lita’s shoulders and kissed her hard. Her body tensed against him before he pulled away. “That’s what you wanted, right?” he spat in her ear. “Lita always gets what she wants?”

Her eyes narrowed.

“How dare you ruin that song,” he growled. “How
dare
you.”

He’d hit her hard—it was all over the wide eyes and the slack in her face. He wasn’t going to feel bad. Not after that ridiculous display of hers.

Griffin turned and grinned at the audience, bowing low, begging his mind to shut out how many people’s eyes rested on him, probably in shock.

“And another shout out for some
random
crew member!” Lita yelled into the mic with a laugh. Griffin resisted the urge to flip her off on his way backstage.

She was off the deep end, and he had to shut off the part of him that wanted to take care of her when she was like this. Had to shut it off. For his sanity, maybe hers, and definitely Stacy’s.

He didn’t slow when he got backstage, but moved for the back door.

Stacy jogged to keep up. “Griffin? What’s going on?”

How was he supposed to answer that? “I have absolutely no idea.”

Stacy grabbed his arm, jerking him to a stop.

“Why you? Why did Dave ask
you
?” she yelled.

He threw his arms in the air. “Because I’m an asshole, Stacy. Because for whatever reason, Lita and I became friends, and now she’s pissed, and I have only half an idea as to why.”

“You
like
her. Like
really
, like her.” Stacy’s brows pulled together, and both hurt and anger flooded her eyes. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Everything in him stilled. Slowed. Dropped. “Because from day one, I’ve been trying not to like her. Because I came out here hoping to find whatever had faded between us.”

“And that’s something you should have talked to
me
about when it was happening, Griffin.” Her finger pressed into her chest. “Me. Not her. Not anyone else.
Me
.”

She was right. Of course she was.

All the anger in him turned into pure shittiness.

“I thought it was my problem.” He sighed as he leaned against the wall, Lita’s music still vibrating the building. At least she’d managed to continue the show. He’d hate to see what would happen to her if she hadn’t been able to.

Stacy took a long breath in, her chin trembling. “Of course you did. And you didn’t ask for help because you never do. Because you just work and work and think about everyone else.”

“Stacy.” He touched her cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She shook her head and backed away from his hand. “It’s gonna hurt for a while, but us splitting was a good thing. Better for you. And better for me.” Her jaw tensed. “Especially after this. I deserve better, Griffin.”

He stood silent. She was right. Of course she was right.

“I had the decency to tell you when things changed for me, Griffin. Remember that. And you didn’t.”

He wanted to find the perfect words, but there weren’t any. He’d messed up, and they both knew it.

“I’m gonna go.”

“Now? In the dark? I don’t think—”

“Shut up, Griffin,” she said with an odd frustrated frown. Maybe she didn’t know what to think. He certainly felt lost. “I’m going to get a hotel room, but I think we’re done.”

His head dropped. They were done. He just didn’t imagine he’d feel so heavy over it. “Can I drive you, or—”

“No.” She backed up. “I can do this on my own.”

And then she was gone, and he knew she was crying because he knew Stacy. But he also finally realized she could do a lot of things on her own, and that maybe he’d been holding her back, just like Ryker had said. And Stacy was right too—he should have talked to her.

He just wanted his day to be over. And maybe the next few as well. And he really wished he hadn’t stopped smoking because it would at least occupy his hands for a while.

Twenty-two

The crowd had loved Lita last night but she was paying for it.

Bridget had called twice and texted about eight times. Lita hit return on the call, not wanting to try and make out the numbers. It was like she was hung over, only without the drinking part. Or at least without
much
of the drinking part.

Something moved in her bed and she sucked in a breath sitting so fast the room spun.

“Hey.” Chandler rubbed his face. “They were out of rooms thanks to your concert. That’s why I’m here.” He smirked. “You looked surprised, so I thought I should remind you why you’re sharing your bed.”

She couldn’t focus.

“Lita?” Bridget’s voice came from her phone. “Lita?”

“Hey,” she said only her voice came out in a croaky whisper.

“Oh, hell. Your voice. Dammit. I’ll come with something hot,” Bridget said. “Don’t talk. To anyone. Save your voice.”

Her body shook as she set down the phone and she shivered and grabbed her blankets, jerking them around her more tightly.

“No way you can be cold in here,” Chandler said. “I’m dying it’s so hot.”

It’s because I’m not eating.

“It’s okay. Have to whisper so I can get my voice back.” The night before… What a disaster.

“I gotta get back to New York, but last night was something else, Lita.” He looked worried, but unlike Griffin he wouldn’t press it. “Just… I don’t know… Be careful with yourself.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her throat aching. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Chandler scoffed as he slid his pants on. “You’re not fine. Obviously. You know where to reach me, but I’m about the last person you should come to for any kind of real help.”

She nodded and Chandler sat next to her on the bed. “You’re a cool chick. Don’t forget it, okay?”

She pressed her palms to her eyes and all she saw was Griffin kissing Stacy. His hands gripping her hips, his mouth hard on hers… That’s not how you kiss someone you’re lukewarm about. She was such an idiot. Why had he played her? Why had he said it was weird with Stacy? Why had he let her in? Why had he let her tell him things she should have kept to herself? Was it funny to him to know things about her no one else did?

“Bridget’s on her way, right?” Chandler asked.

Lita nodded.

“Okay. I can’t miss my flight. Call if you need me.”

“Thanks, Chandler.” She pulled her blankets up and wished for warmth. For things to be different. To not care so damn much.

“You’re pathetic,” Ryker slapped the back of Griffin’s head. “We should be planning a welcome to bachelorhood party and getting you laid by some random hot girl and getting wasted and—”

Griffin let his eyes fall closed. They were heavy after his sleepless night, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. “Dude. You know that’s not me.”

Ryker grabbed Griffin’s shoulders with a grin. “But it could be.”

Griffin stood. “Come on. The driver gets pissed when we’re not there for bus take off.” And even if it made her furious, he was going to put soup on Lita’s bus.

The last thing Griffin saw of Memphis was Lita dropping the soup out the window and them pulling away.
Fine
. Griffin took his guitar, sat in a corner seat on the huge vehicle and started messing around.

Why did she have to ruin the song? Why? And why the hell had he kissed her? All it had done was piss Lita off, made him feel like shit, and made Stacy feel like shit. It was all just shit and his own stupid fault.

And to make matters worse, a few people had illegally video recorded her doing the song, and it had over a hundred thousand hits on YouTube in a day, which would have been awesome if she’d done the song the right way.

Griffin got an hour of peace before Ryker plopped next to him—his limbs hanging around a tired frame.

“What?” Griffin asked, awaiting the lecture he was sure would come.

“No one’s paying attention.” He gestured toward the crew lost in their own world on the bus. “You wanna talk?”

“I don’t know if I should,” Griffin answered honestly.

“You and Lita.” Ryker pushed back his hair. “Never saw that one coming.”

“Me either.” It was enough of an admission for both of them.

“Obviously didn’t end well…”

Griffin shook his head, still staring at his phone and watching the video of Lita singing his song on mute. Every move of hers had looked messy. Forced. “It never got started.”

“She sure has enough anger that it
could
have started. Or you should have at least gotten laid if you were going to have to face this kind of backlash.” Ryker jabbed him. “She fucked that song. Not cool.”

Griffin started to formulate some kind of response but instead changed tacks completely. After yesterday, he was pretty sure Lita wouldn’t let him near her, but she also wasn’t healthy, and someone needed to be watching out for her. “What do you think about Bridget?”

Ryker chuckled a little. “Ahhh Bridget. The loyal subject.”

“Here’s the thing,” Griffin started but then stopped. He didn’t know how to talk about Bridget without bringing up Lita’s eating. “It’s that—”

Ryker’s brows rose. “Everything you need to know about that relationship, you can get from the back story.”

Griffin turned in his chair to more fully face his brother. “Okay.”

“They used to play together. Sing together. Lita and her entered the battle of the bands as a duet, but Lita also entered a solo piece, which is what won. Her and Bridget were out on like round two at regional something or others. I don’t know how that all works.”

“Oh.” Griffin didn’t get any sign of malice toward Lita from Bridget. He knew they were close, but maybe there was enough jealousy for Bridget to let her friend fall when she wouldn’t otherwise?

“Lita got picked up by the xLx label, and no one even noticed the song she’d done with Bridget. Do with that what you will.” Ryker’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out, smiling when he looked at the screen and started tapping. “So, what’s up for you after this?”

“Go home. Help Mom. Teach kids to play music. I can’t… I can’t think past that right now.” Griffin’s fingers flew back up the neck of the guitar. The separation from Stacy was already enough of a change.

“You could get a job on another tour you know.”

Griffin nodded. “I’m feeling bad for Mom I guess. I know she’s lonely.”

“And she will be unless you’re gone long enough that she has to go look for friends.” Ryker smiled again and tapped his phone a few more times.

“Don’t put the blame on me. I already feel like shit.”

“You were arrogant enough to think that Stacy needed you. And you’re arrogant enough to think that Mom needs you. She doesn’t, Griff.”

“Maybe.” He sighed, staring at the guitar in his lap. “Lita’s going through—”

Ryker held his hand out. “Stop. Really.
Stop
. I don’t care how much you feel for her. Whatever she’s going through, she needs to get herself out of. You can’t save her. You can’t.”

Griffin rubbed his face, hating how powerless he sometimes felt. “I can’t walk away from her either.”

“You push at her, and she’s going to push back. The drink last night. The soup this morning. Seriously. Food? What is that?” Ryker asked.