Chasing the Music: For the Love of Music Book 0.5 (23 page)

“When did you find out that Griffin and Stacy had split?” Lita asked.

Bridget’s eyes didn’t move from her iPad screen. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s a simple question.” Lita watched her friend. Bridget knew how she felt about Griffin—or at least had an idea. Any good friend would have said something right away.

Bridget rolled her eyes. “Everyone knew. Stacy came out early to split with him.”

“I didn’t know.” She had been in hiding since the hospital, but still...

Bridged shrugged this time.

“You knew…” Lita felt her heart begin to race, her chest begin to squeeze. This was all the stress stuff she was supposed to be keeping under control. But how could she?

“I thought everyone knew.” But Lita could see it behind Bridget’s eyes—she’d kept it from Lita, she just couldn’t figure out why.

“So…” Lita started but bit her lip. Instead of continuing, she decided she’d ask Griffin and began typing a text.

Lita: Weird question: Heard Ryker bought you a girl for the night.

Her phone sounded almost immediately.

Griffin: So glad you asked. Gimme a sec to type.

Bridget’s hand clasped Lita’s. “What are you doing?”

Instead of answering, Lita countered with another question. “You sent pictures of Griffin with that girl. Why?”

“I thought you’d like pictures of our night out.” Bridget swallowed, her eyes seeming wary. “That’s all.”

Lita shook her head. She just didn’t trust her.

“I thought.” Bridget sat up straighter. “You might want to know what kind of guy you were falling for.”

Lita’s head rested off to the side.

Bridget’s hand rested on Lita’s knee. Was there something she wasn’t piecing together?

“Do you…like me?” Lita asked quietly.

Bridget’s hand slowly slid away. “We’re friends.”

“But do you like me?” Lita said slowly.

“Oh, God.
Really
?” Bridget rolled her eyes. “I’m nice to you so I have to
like
you? Oh. Right. Because
everyone loves Lita James
.”

Lita cringed as her friend’s words grew loud.

“Sorry. You’ve been weird, and I—” Lita fought for words. “What I actually meant was—Would you and I be friends if we met now? Would you like me enough to be my friend?”

“You’re so damn full of yourself!” Bridget stood. “I can’t even.” She threw her hands up in the air, both Apelu and Dave were now watching.

Lita just sat, stunned. “I want us to be friends,” she said. “Why is this a big deal?”

“Oh, right.” Bridget’s eyes widened again. “How much more praise do you need?”

Lita pressed her fingers to her temples, trying to remember breathing. “Maybe you’d like to leave the tour early.”

“What are you talking about?” Bridget asked, her hands now clutching her iPad.

Lita took another drink of the smoothie she’d promised her father she’d drink.

“It’s not like you could do this without me,” Bridget answered more slowly.

“It’s only another week.” It would be so much better if it were Bridget’s idea.

Bridget’s eyes were wary. Maybe she needed de-stressing as much as Lita did.

“Maybe…” Lita started. “Maybe it’s just that you need some space. I’ll happily pay you just like I would if you were with us. I don’t want to lose you as a friend, and I’m so worried that’s going to happen if we stay in such close quarters.”

“Are you
firing
me?” Bridget leaned forward.

Dave’s iPad now rested on the table, and even Apelu had sat up in his chair.

“Nope.” Lita slid further down, desperately clinging to anything that might keep her calm. “No. I just think if you don’t get some space from me, you might hate me forever because I’m such a mess.”

Lita knew it was the perfect thing to say because she knew Bridget. If she made it seem like she knew it was her fault, and not Bridget’s fault, it would be okay. At the same time, Lita understood that her friend walking off the tour would change things between them. But so had Lita’s win of the battle of the bands, and they’d shifted then and still been okay. Or maybe they hadn’t. Maybe Bridget had held onto that longer than she realized.

Maybe Bridget was in a place Lita didn’t understand.

Bridget stood and pushed open the door of the back cabin on the bus. “Whatever you think, Lita.”

“Have a nice rest at home.” Lita gave her friend a smile that felt genuine, even though it was partly forced.

A sense of accomplishment rushed through her. It was one thing to yell and push but it was another to make big things happen with a lot less.

Bridget slammed the door. Oh, well. Lita’s stomach fluttered in nerves, and all she knew to do was to keep breathing and hope the feeling didn’t get worse. She was worried about Bridget but she didn’t have the emotional energy to worry too hard. At least not yet. A text came back from Griffin.

I had no idea who she was until the end of the night. I sent her home to watch movies, and she made sure I found a cab back to the hotel. That’s it. I swear.

“I can find you someone for the last week,” Dave said softly.

“It’s just a week. I have a few ideas.” Lita closed her eyes, her insides wanting to dance in nerves. She concentrated on breathing and keeping herself calm. She was in need of a long break after this for sure.

Only now she had to talk to Griffin, and she really had no idea how to start that conversation. But there might be one or two more things she should do first…

PART IV

I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Death Cab for Cutie (2006)

I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You

The UB40 version
(1993)

Time In A Bottle

Jim Croce (1972)

And any other mushy, awesome love song that speaks to you.

Twenty-eight

Griffin groaned as he scanned his phone backstage in Washington, D.C. The press was rabid over Lita’s brief hospital stay. The pictures were damning. She looked like a skeleton, which wasn’t quite accurate and he wondered how much photo-shopping had been done. He itched to talk to her. To write her. Instead he was afraid to push—wanting her to worry about
her
before he tried to figure out what they were.

“Oh!” Ryker sat up so fast he nearly fell off the hotel room bed. “Lita put out her own statement!”

Griffin snatched his brother’s phone and hit play.

Lita’s pale, grainy face glowed from the phone light in a dark room.

“I know this recording is crap. I’m doing it on my phone in my hotel room.” Lita glanced around her and twisted the phone around to show the empty room. “I’m here alone. I wanted to ease the fears, but maybe I’ll end up doing the opposite. I’m not healthy. I’m okay, but not healthy. I’m suffering from exhaustion and malnutrition because I’m getting so stressed that I don’t eat. I’m not happy with the way I look right now because I know I’m too thin. I hope no girl looks at me and thinks my body is one they should want. I feel so fortunate that I had problems when I did because it’s a wake up call. I plan on finishing my tour as planned and then going into counseling after that. I hope that other girls out there get the help they need, and that’s… That’s it. I’m learning how to be as tough as I want to be.”

Her Youtube video stopped, and Griffin grinned. She was taking care of it. On her terms. Maybe she was finally starting to realize how strong she was.

Griffin rested against the backboard of the hotel, mindlessly flipping through channels, wishing he knew what he was going to do when the tour was over. Normally after getting the show partially set up, he tried to power nap before the concert, but he couldn’t shut off his brain to sleep. Ryker had no such problems, snoring from his side of the room. After talking to the rest of the crew, Griffin knew they were lucky to be in hotels as often as they were. Normally people slept on the small bus bunks.

Griffin and Stacy had talked once, but only because he forced himself to call. It’s not that he didn’t want to, or did want to… He felt like he should. He’d known Stacy for too long to give up on being some kind of friends or acquaintances. Since their conversation they’d exchanged a few casual texts. She’d passed her tests and would be working at the same salon as a stylist instead of front desk and whatever else she did. She’d moved in with Tina. He was still happy for her, but Ryker was right. The transition to casual friend had been way too easy.

A quick knock at the door pulled Griffin from his bed. Any kind of distraction was welcome.

“Oh good,” Ryker groaned as he rolled over slowly. “‘Cause I wasn’t gonna get up.”

Griffin slapped his brother’s foot on his way past and pulled open the door.

All the air left the room and his chest swelled.

Lita.

Griffin stepped back, rubbing a hand over his dark hair. “Um...come in.”

“I know we haven’t talked or…” Lita shook her head. “I need to get ready, but I have a business proposition for you.”

“Business,” he said, having
no
idea what to expect after not talking. Griffin let the door fall closed and followed Lita into the room.

She grabbed Ryker’s foot. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you leave now.”

“You can afford way more than a hundred.” Ryker pulled the blankets over his head.

“But can you afford to lose your balls?” she quipped holding the bill in the air.

He shot from the bed with a fake smile, batting his lashes and snatching the money. “Anything for you, Lita. Break a leg tonight.”

Griffin took the moment that Ryker and Lita exchanged looks to watch her. Her cheeks had more color and she stood with a strength he hadn’t seen on her since he first met her. And she was
there.

Lita turned to Griffin and Ryker wagged his brows behind Lita before pulling open the door and walking out.

She let out a long breath. “I thought this was going to be so easy, but with you…” Lita shook her head. “I can’t… I don’t know how to not be real with you.”

“Good.” Griffin smiled, enjoying seeing her flustered and trying not to be flustered himself. “You had a business thing?”

“Yeah, but I’m warning you now that I’m a pain in the ass, and you’ll hate me by the end of the week.” She folded her arms.

Griffin chuckled and sat, patting next to him on the bed for her to do the same.

“Why aren’t you yelling at me for being such a bitch?” she asked.

“You were protecting yourself. I get it. But it doesn’t mean I wasn’t pissed too. You sort of redeemed yourself by singing my song again the other night.” It had felt like way more than an apology.

She pressed her fingers into her eyes. “I wasn’t going to talk about any of this.”

“Any of what?” He touched her elbow, giving her a small tug and she let him lead her the two steps next to where he sat. She stayed standing, facing him.

“Me. You.” Her eyes found his, but only for a second. “How it felt to see you with someone you so obviously loved. How it felt to see you with…with…Stacy.”

“I do love Stacy, but not like…”

“I read the note you wrote. Very old-school of you.” She relaxed her arms until her hands sat on his shoulders.

Griffin used every bit of self-control he had to not set his hands on her hips as he stared at her stomach. She was so close. “And do you have any questions?” he asked.

Lita shook her head. “I trust you. I trust the way I feel around you. I’d have never told you all the things I did otherwise. But it’s part of the reason I was so angry when Stacy came. I felt stupid. No. Stupid doesn’t even
begin
to cover how I felt. I’m not even sure what it is between us…”

“But it’s good.”

Lita nodded, her eyes falling to the floor. “Bridget went home. I’m going to get help when I’m back in LA, but I couldn’t stop the tour.”

“I didn’t figure you would.” He ran a finger across the bands on her wrist. The smoothness of her winding his body up. “You look...good. Even just the week since the hospital.”

“Good?” She stepped closer, standing between his legs. “Is that all?”

This time he let his hands slide up her hips to her waist. “Way better than good.”

“I’m in need of a PA. You keep saying you like to take care of people.”

He nodded. “Habit.”

“So…”

“You want me to be your PA for the rest of the tour?” This time her eyes did find his, and he just stared. Watched. She felt less...frantic than before. It was probably equal parts him and her, but he’d take it.

She bit her lip. “I sent Bridget home, so...yeah.”