Chasing Rainbows (21 page)

"Really?" I asked; I was floored that he'd noticed me. Then, I tried to remember what I'd looked like my ninth grade year. It hadn't been impressive.

I was sure that Jake had dated tons of other girls before me, but I was somewhat stunned that he had been waiting for a chance with me, and now here I sat with him holding his hand. "Stalker," I teased, but he shook his head in denial, laughing.

"See, I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, I'm glad you did," I smiled at him. Later, I would definitely have to think about what he had just told me.

Kara chose that moment to slide into the seat next to me and place a shot glass directly in front of me. "To-kill-ya," she said giggling as Devon sat down beside her scooting a shot glass across the table toward Jake.

"None for me," he said, lifting his almost full beer to take a sip. "I'm driving."

"I'd better not either, babe," Devon replied looking at Kara. "I've already had two beers. I don't need a DUI. I'd be screwed."

"More for us," Kara declared with a smile, stretching past me to scoot Jake's shot glass in front of me. "Two for two," she said, as if we were having some kind of contest, and at her urging, I found myself clutching one of the shots in my hand.

"It will catch you when you least expect it," Devon warned, eyeing us both. It had already caught Kara, but I didn't feel like making a joke at her expense.

"You'll catch me, won't you babe?" Kara teased him and of course, Devon nodded his head yes. He was so whipped where she was concerned. "On three, Addie!"

Drawing in a deep breath, I met Jake's smiling eyes then distantly heard Kara cry out, "Three!" I glanced at her just to make sure she was going to do it, and then I threw back the shot draining it dry. Kara only grimaced, but I couldn't breathe and coughed and sputtered trying to catch my breath. It tasted awful! It wasn't anything like I'd expected. I was a wuss. Jake and Devon were laughing at me. Jake put his hand on my back and began rubbing slow soothing circles. Even that didn't help.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice concerned and I nodded, drawing in a deep gulp of air and wiping a tear from the corner of my eye.

"Another!" Kara cried, but I pushed the second shot glass toward her instead. There was no way I was taking another drink of that poison. My stomach still burned and my throat unfortunately was on fire.

Devon snagged the shot before Kara had the chance and offered it to some random guy who was walking past our table. Of course he accepted, not seeming too concerned about the consequences of taking a drink from a stranger. He disappeared among the crowd with Kara's drink happily in his hand. When I glanced at Kara, the other shot sat before her surprisingly empty.

"I'm cutting you off," Devon warned, but Kara just smiled. She gazed at him with secretive eyes as she batted her long mascara-coated lashes, and leaned in toward him and laid her hand against his broad chest. I could have sworn that I saw him tremble. Tonight, Kara was definitely in full siren mode.

"Come closer," she whispered in a sultry tone. It was uncomfortable just watching the heat simmering between the two of them. Devon leaned in as if he were in a trance and seemed unaware of Jake and mine's presence at the table. "I could say the same thing to you later, but I won't."

Warmth pooled in my cheeks as the underlying promise of her words penetrated my sluggish brain. I glanced away from the far too intimate scene before me. Kara didn't seem to mind that she had an audience. She was laughing at whatever Devon had whispered as a reply in her ear. I glanced over at Jake, but he didn't seem the least bit phased by the exchange. His eyes lingered on my face seeming to note the telling stain of red on my cheeks. I needed a moment to myself so I stood pushing in my chair. "I've got to go to the bathroom."

Jake began to rise, but I shook my head no so he remained in his seat. I could tell by his expression that he didn't like it one bit. "Don't fall in," Kara yelled, and I drifted from the table feeling Jake's eyes following after me.

Weaving my way through the crowd, I murmured sorry and excuse me at least a million times until finally, I saw the double doors that led down the hallway to the restrooms. I pushed open the door and glanced back over my shoulder to look across the club to where Jake, Devon and Kara sat at our table.

Tonight had actually been fun. It had been more fun than I'd expected, and Kara was right, Jake was not only smoking hot but also sweet. When I turned taking a step, I gasped as I plowed into an immovable wall of hard muscle. "Sorry," I muttered, my gaze flying upward. It was Chance, and the expression on his face was anything but welcoming.

"You following me?" he asked with a nasty smirk. He no longer resembled the guy I had once thought I was falling hard for. Even though I couldn't help it, I noticed that he looked good in his faded jeans and red T-shirt.

"No," I denied, feeling slightly offended by his attitude. Suddenly, I felt lightheaded. The tequila had obviously kicked in. "Are you following me?" I shot back, noticing the curl of his upper lip. He had the nerve to laugh. His eyes were like flecks of hard jade cutting me into tiny pieces.

"You wish," he arrogantly snapped. Then I noticed the blonde behind him slinking up the hallway wearing tight black leather pants and a purple halter top. She was heading straight for us.

"Who's that?" the blonde asked; her voice dripping with venom as her brown eyes shot daggers at me. She slid a slim possessive arm along Chance's waist, continuing to watch me through narrowed eyes.

"She's no one," he replied, and they began to walk past me.

His words stung. Without thinking, I grabbed his arm as his date walked through the double doors obviously expecting him to follow. It was either the tequila making me brave, or I was stupidly begging for him to hurt me even more. At that moment, I couldn't decide which one it was.

"What do you want, Addie?" he snarled, glancing from my face to my hand gripping his arm.

The blonde chose that moment to reappear. She wore a pout on her full lips and eyed me coldly. "Just give me a minute," Chance snapped short temperedly, the door closed once more behind her and it was only me and him.

"I want to know what's going on with us. What is wrong with you?" I asked him, watching his eyes narrow and his expression growing distant.

He laughed as if mocking me. His laughter made me feel small and somewhat insignificant. I couldn't believe this was the same guy who'd slept in my bed beside me. The one, who had held me in his arms and claimed me as his.

"There is no us, Addie. Surely, you're smart enough to have figured that out."

"Why?" I asked, hearing the quiver in my voice, and I hated myself for it. There was a burning in my chest and I blinked, refusing to cry in front of him, but I needed answers. So much had been left unsaid between us.

"I found your dirty little secrets," he said cruelly, and I let go of his arm when he tugged against my hand. I didn't understand what he was talking about. "Your nightstand drawer, Addie," he clarified, when I frowned with confusion.

I could feel myself paling beneath his hard glare, shutting down and crawling back inside myself to block him out. I turned away but this time; he grabbed my arm halting me in my tracks and made me stay. His grip was firm, almost painful, and I realized he wanted to hurt me just as badly as I'd obviously hurt him, but I didn't understand why. I'd never intended to cause him any pain, but he didn't care about my intentions. I'd been hurting myself long before I'd ever even met him. I didn't need anyone else to hurt me since I was a master at inflicting pain upon myself.

"Look at me, Addie. You wanted to know so look at me. I'm going to spell it out for you. My mom killed herself, and I don't need you or your fucked up shit in my life right now. I've got enough going on as it is without you adding to it. Understand?"

I nodded my head, floored by what he had admitted to me, and tried to tug my arm free from his grasp but he held firm. I wanted to run away and hide, but he wouldn't let me. "Stay the fuck away from me," he snarled, as he slammed his point home. "There is no us and there never will be."

"I understand," I whispered, now near tears.

Suddenly, the double doors opened. I was expecting to see Chance's date, but instead it was Jake this time, and he looked absolutely furious. "You didn't come back and I got worried," he said, eyeing Chance coldly. His eyes met mine and lingered on my face. His whole body tensed.

Chance let go of me and began to walk past us, but Jake grabbed his arm. "Jake, no," I pleaded, but he ignored me. His eyes now locked on Chance.

"Don't you ever touch her again," he warned him, and I flinched at the hard steely edge to his tone. There was no doubt in my mind, he meant business. He wanted to be my knight in shining armor but I didn't believe in fairytales. There was no one who could save me.

"Don't worry, I won't," Chance snarled, his expression filled with disgust. "She's all yours. I'm not in to self-mutilation."

I gasped at his words. He had just bared my soul open for anyone passing by to hear and had told the one person I didn't want to know; at least, not yet.

Jake's eyes immediately landed on mine as Chance successfully tugged his arm free from Jake's hold. He smirked at me, having delivered his parting shot with deadly accuracy, then stepped through the double doors disappearing inside the club.

Under Jake's intense gaze, I squirmed, and the scars on my legs began to tingle, and I feared even through the skimpy sequined dress which covered them now, he could see my shame. The reason, I hid. The reason, I ran.

"Addie," Jake murmured in disbelief, and I saw my truth reflected in his eyes. He took a step toward me and I did what I did best. I ran; fleeing down the hall. I couldn't breathe. I had to get out of there. I had to get away from him. I had no choice but to run.

He knew my secret. There was no possible way that he could have misunderstood what Chance had said. I heard him yell my name, but I kept on running; my boots clicked a steady rhythm keeping time with the frantic beating of my heart. I couldn't face him. I bypassed the bathrooms heading straight for the back exit. He shouted my name again, and behind me the echo of his footsteps rang against the concrete. He was chasing after me, so I ran faster.

Chapter seventeen

"
A
DDIE, STOP!"
J
AKE YELLED AS
I
BURST THROUGH
the back door and ran up the alleyway around the side of the building and almost plowed into the crowd that was still waiting to get in. From behind, strong arms wrapped around me. I staggered and almost fell — would have if it hadn't been for Jake holding me upright. He was pressed against my back like a second skin; the rapid rise and fall of his chest brushed against me. His harsh warm breath filled my ear. I realized, I was crying and I hated myself for not being able to control my emotions, especially around him. It was hard for me to breathe. Then a concerned voice asked, "Miss, do you need me to call the cops?"

In a daze, I lifted my head and gazed at the tall thin gangly guy wearing glasses. He looked on helplessly with an expression of concern while he shifted from one foot to the other, obviously uncomfortable.

Jake was still wrapped around me like a vine. "Answer him, Addie," he growled in my ear. He was as tense as a wire spring.

"No, it's alright," I said, as I sucked in a deep gulp of oxygen. Despite myself, I sobbed and bit my lower lip as I tried my best to keep the tortured sounds locked within me where they belonged. The stranger hesitantly nodded his head at me, but he shot Jake a vile look before he finally gave up and walked away.

"You can't run from everything, Addie," Jake murmured in my ear. "Promise me if I let you go, you won't run away."

As I turned my head, the stubble on his cheek scraped my skin. "I promise," I whispered, my voice trembling like crazy. Suddenly, I was free. I didn't look at him, but instead walked up the sidewalk, heading straight for his truck, aware that he followed after me.

"Is what Chance said true?" he asked, seeming uncertain as to whether he believed him or not. He now walked beside me; his hand captured mine. I didn't dare to look at him or even speak. I couldn't, I was too preoccupied by the prospect of my world crashing in around me. "You don't have to be afraid, Addie. You can talk to me. I'm not going to judge you. I just want to try and understand."

I stopped, standing beside his truck as I waited for him to unlock the door, but instead he stepped directly in front of me demanding my attention. His hands cupped my face giving me no choice but to look at him. "It's alright, Addie," he whispered; his eyes filled with some emotion that I was too afraid to contemplate or even try to understand.

He leaned in toward me, pressing his lips against the corner of my mouth. A soft moan escaped my lips. Nothing was alright. It would never be alright. He knew my secret and given time, he would turn on me just like Chance had. I pushed against his chest, suddenly feeling very angry with not only him, but myself.

"What do you want to know, Jake?" I asked, my voice sounding nasty even to my own ears. I pressed my hand against his chest and pushed him even harder. I wanted him to take a step back. I needed some space. It was hard for me to think with him standing so close to me. "Do you want to know what a psychotic little freak I am?" I taunted, watching his eyes narrow at my choice of words. He didn't answer, but instead stepped back and drew his keys from his front pocket and opened my door.

"Get in," he ordered, his voice firm but I didn't move, instead I stood there angrily staring back at him. I wanted his scorn; his disgust. I expected it. I wanted any other emotion than the one he was giving me right now. I didn't need his pity. If this was going to end, I wanted it to end on my terms.

"I'll ride back with Devon and Kara," I informed him stiffly, watching his expression harden at my words.

"Like hell you will," he muttered. Then the next thing I knew, my feet were no longer on the ground and I was wrapped up in his arms.