Weaving a path through the throng, she scanned every face praying she'd stumble on to Lucia's. A few heads turned as she passed by and once or twice she thought she heard a comment. She was a stranger and she probably appeared stranger yet as she intensely scrutinized every person in the place. As she was about to give up, one final inspection produced a partial view of Lucia seated at the opposite end of the bar. A bit of clever maneuvering was all it took to get closer to her.
Lucia was whispering in the ear of a young, attractive woman with very short dark hair. An empty drink glass sat on the bar in front of her and she held another drink in her hand. Judging by the glassy sheen of her eyes and the manner in which she moved, Juliet was convinced she'd been drinking steadily since she got to the bar.
"Lucia." Juliet tapped her on the shoulder.
Lucia stared in disbelief as if she didn't recognize Juliet. "What are you doing here? How did you even think to look for me in this bar?"
"Paula and Kristen thought you might be here."
"They remembered this place?" Lucia's words ran together. "Are they here?"
"They're parking the car." Juliet wrapped her hand around Lucia's arm.
"Great. A group rescue."
"We were worried about you."
Lucia looked miserable. "I'm sorry I left, I really am, but you didn't need to come looking for me. I would have gone to the hotel later on."
"I know," Juliet said.
"Are you mad at me? Are they mad at me?"
"No one is mad, just concerned," Juliet said. Her next words were directed at the woman Lucia was with. "Would you mind? I need to talk to my friend in private."
The woman silently slid off the barstool and melted into the crowd.
"Thanks a lot," Lucia said. "I was getting somewhere with that one."
"I don't want you to get anywhere with her," Juliet said as she climbed up onto the vacant bar stool.
"Why the hell not?"
"I don't know, I just don't," Juliet said. "Please."
Lucia closed her eyes. "Then what
do
you want?"
"I want you to come back to the hotel with me."
Lucia opened her eyes and looked directly into Juliet's. "Why?"
"I care about you, that's why."
"I don't know how you can care about me after all I've done to you. You should hate me." Lucia ran her fingers through her hair. "Do yourself a favor and get away from me."
"I don't want to get away from you. I want to help you," Juliet said.
"A few more drinks will help me more than you ever could."
"And being with that woman?"
Lucia grimaced. "That might have helped, at least tonight."
"It's not going to work, you know."
"What's not going to work?" Lucia asked.
"Getting drunk and having sex with strangers."
"So far, it's been working okay." Lucia's head swayed.
"For one night, maybe."
"That's all I can give them."
"Don't you want more than that?"
Lucia appeared to give the question careful consideration. "It doesn't have to last any longer than that. It doesn't mean anything to me."
"I meant, don't you want more in your life?"
"I don't want any ties. I don't want anyone to know me."
"I don't believe you," Juliet said.
Anger sparked in Lucia's eyes. "Why the hell should you care?"
"I've asked myself that question, but I have no answer. I only know that I do," Juliet said. "Maybe being with a stranger helps you forget for a while, but when you get rid of your one-night stand and sober up, you're alone again wallowing in your grief."
"You think I wallow?" Lucia took a gulp of her drink and stared straight ahead. After a moment, she turned her head. "Don't you do enough for me without providing mental health services? I don't remember that being in your job description."
"Now you're making me mad," Juliet said sharply. "I'm not here as your employee and I was under the impression that we'd moved beyond this."
Lucia looked at her and said nothing.
"You need to deal with your pain if you ever plan to get better," Juliet said, thinking she might be getting through to Lucia at last. "I think you know that."
"I do know that."
Juliet rested her hand on Lucia's shoulder. "I'm not going to let you push me away. Your friends told me all about what happened to Devin."
"Of course they did. That's just great." Lucia squeezed her eyes shut. "Remind me to thank them if I ever speak to them again."
"Don't take it out on them. I made them tell me."
Lucia opened her eyes. "I'm not mad at them or you."
"I wish you had told me yourself. You could have, you know."
Lucia's voice was low and Juliet could barely hear her. "Don't you see? I couldn't talk about it. If I could have, you would have been the one I would have talked to."
"You once said you wouldn't talk to me about it. Especially not to me, you said."
"That was true then, but not anymore," Lucia said.
Juliet let her hand roam across Lucia's back as she pulled her closer.
Lucia wrapped her arms around Juliet as much as their positions allowed. Bringing her lips to Juliet's ear, she whispered, "Thank you for coming for me."
Juliet dissolved in Lucia's arms. She wanted to stay there forever, to be there for her, to comfort her and make her feel better. And she wanted to touch her.
PAULA'S VOICE, BREATHLESSLY announcing how relieved she and Kristen were to have found them, intruded into Lucia's consciousness. Reluctantly, Lucia pulled away from Juliet's embrace and acknowledged her friends. "Hello ladies."
"Sorry we took so long. We couldn't find a parking place," Paula said.
"How are you doing, Lucia?" Kristen asked.
"Not bad. I hear you two spilled my terrible story to Juliet."
"Don't be angry," Paula said. "We told her because she thought she could help if she understood what you went through. She cares about you."
"So do we," Kristen said.
"I know and I'm not angry at any of you," Lucia said. "I'm just plain angry." How much longer could she go on keeping everyone at a safe distance? Her grief, like some sinister black ooze, had seeped into every space, every cell, and had stained all the layers of her life. Because of it, her perceptions of the world had become more and more tainted until she'd lost sight of what mattered to her the most. These women were her friends. They cared about her and she needed to find her way back to them.
"We're just thankful that you're all right," Paula said.
"I'm sorry I ran out on you," Lucia told them. "I couldn't take it when I saw that the tree was gone and I--I lost it. It seems stupid, I know. It was just a tree."
"It wasn't stupid, not one bit," Kristen said.
"We'd do anything for you. I hope you know that." Paula put her arm around Lucia and then looked at Kristen as if exchanging an unspoken message. "We should go home. It's been a long day. Will you call us tomorrow before you leave?"
"I will," Lucia said. "Thanks for dinner and for everything else."
"I loved meeting you both and I hope I see you again," Juliet said.
"We loved meeting you," Paula said. "Take care of our friend."
"Lucia, please say it's not the last time we're going to see you," Kristen said.
"It's not. You have my word."
"We don't want to lose you," Paula said. "We love you."
"You won't lose me. I promise," Lucia said. "I'll be in touch."
AFTER PAULA AND Kristen departed, Lucia leaned on the bar and buried her face in her hands. She shook her head gently from side to side. Juliet also noticed that Lucia's hands were trembling. Taking one of Lucia's hands in hers, she tugged at it until Lucia uncovered her face. "We should get out of here."
"Hold on. Let me finish my drink." Lucia took a long swig and cringed.
"How many of those have you had?"
"I don't know. I wasn't counting."
Juliet pulled on Lucia's hand. "Come on, let's go."
Lucia slid off of her barstool and stood by Juliet, but as they started to walk she lost her balance and had to lean against Juliet's side. "I've had too much to drink."
"Just hang on to me." Juliet led Lucia away from the bar.
As they passed the dance floor, Lucia stopped and held Juliet so she couldn't move. "One dance and we'll leave." Without letting Juliet protest, she pulled her onto the dance floor, into an open space, and began swaying to the music.
Juliet was unsure of what to do so she danced. A thumping bass beat vibrated the floor and traveled from the bottom of her feet to the top of her head. As soon as the song ended they stood facing each other, breathing heavily. They hadn't moved yet when the lights dimmed and a slower song began to play. Juliet tried to step away, to get off the dance floor, but Lucia grabbed her and urged her into her arms.
Being held by Lucia stirred up exquisite sensations unlike any Juliet had ever known. Her body began to quiver and she wondered if Lucia was aware of it. Soft breasts pressed against hers while Lucia's warm breaths caressed her neck. The wonder of what she was feeling was all she knew, all she wanted to know.
"You smell so good," Lucia whispered.
Juliet's next breath caught in her throat as Lucia's hand slid beneath her shirt. One stroke of her bare skin and she was set on fire.
Her heart hammered so hard she was certain Lucia felt and heard every beat along with everyone within a ten-foot radius.
"What are you doing?" Juliet whispered in Lucia's ear.
"I want to know how you feel."
Juliet now understood how she should have felt when Andre or the other men she had dated touched her. There was no specific point where she left off and Lucia began. She was caught in a current of desire and she couldn't pull away.
Lucia moved her head until her lips were a mere inch from Juliet's. "I want to kiss you," she whispered. She moved the hand she'd kept on Juliet's bare back to the satiny skin of her midriff, her fingers resting just below Juliet's breasts.
Juliet felt her nipples constricting, her pulse pounding between her legs. She had to breathe in short, rapid bursts. She was more sexually stimulated than she'd ever been and it terrified her. The source of this intense desire was not only a woman, she was her boss and her friend. "I don't know how to handle this," she whispered back.
Lucia dropped her hands to her side and stepped back. "Jesus. What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldn't be touching you like that. I don't know what I'm doing."
"Don't worry about it."
"Don't worry about it?" Lucia shook her head. "Fuck."
"Let's just get out of here and go to our room. We both need to get some rest." The surge of desire Juliet had only moments ago faded as they exited the bar along with any evidence that Lucia would remember her actions the next morning.
THE INSTANT THEY stepped inside the hotel room Lucia took off running for the bathroom. Juliet heard her throwing up and when she failed to emerge after a reasonable amount of time, she went in to check on her. Lucia was sprawled on the floor in front of the toilet bowl. Kneeling on the floor alongside her, Juliet placed her hand on Lucia's shoulder. "Do you feel like you're going to be sick anymore?"
"I don't think so."
"See if you can stand up." Juliet helped Lucia to her feet and then guided her to the sink. She wet a washcloth with cold water and pressed it to Lucia's forehead.
Lucia moaned. "That feels good."
"Why don't you brush your teeth and I'll help you get into bed?" Juliet stood next to Lucia until she finished that task, aware of how small she seemed, how vulnerable. Was it resignation she was sensing? Was it defeat? Whatever it was, it was new.
Once they were next to Lucia's bed Juliet handed her the pajama top she'd slept in the night before. "Here, put this on."
Lucia stripped down to her panties, threw her clothes on the loveseat, and slipped the soft, cotton top over her head. "I've had a lot more to drink before, but I've never been that sick."
"You're upset. That's part of it."
"I've been upset before, too." Lucia pulled the covers down and got in bed.
"Try to sleep. You'll feel a lot better in the morning." One brief glimpse of Lucia's breasts had made Juliet's heart race like it had on the dance floor. She wasn't so naïve she couldn't interpret the signals her body was sending out. What she didn't know was where it would take her and what she would do about it when she got there.
Lucia peeked out from beneath the covers. "You've been so good to me and I don't think I can sleep unless I know things are okay between us."
"They are, trust me," Juliet said. "Now go to sleep."
With a sigh that sounded more like surrender, Lucia rolled onto her side away from Juliet. A few deep breaths later, she was quiet and apparently asleep.
While Lucia slept, Juliet showered and got ready for bed. Although tired, she felt too stimulated to sleep, so she tried to read. Before long the book slipped out of her fingers and startled her awake. She read a little more, but when the book fell a second time she set it on the night table, turned off the light, and closed her eyes. It had been an evening of revelations, the most startling one being the arousal she had experienced when Lucia touched her. That arousal still lingered and Lucia's words, "I want to kiss you", played over and over again in her mind.
Tomorrow, when she felt rested and her runaway emotions were under control, she'd try to make sense of her feelings for Lucia. Right now she was in no proper state to figure anything out. All she could think of was how that kiss would have felt. She fell asleep imagining it.
"NO! NO! OH, God, help me!" Lucia's screams pierced the stillness in the room.
Having been jarred out of a deep sleep, it took Juliet a second or two to shake off her transient disorientation and figure out where the screams were coming from. When she realized they were coming from Lucia, she jumped out of bed to check on her. "What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"