CARNAL, The Beast Who Loved Me (39 page)

“Third, since you wiped the Rautt from existence and, therefore, from everyone’s memories except yours and mine, the Exiled have no idea why they are where they are or what they’re supposed to do. In the blink of an eye you wiped out decades of their own history. Is any of this getting through?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “What about the motorcycles?” He glowered at her. “Yes. Okay? I get it. It’s different.” She sounded miserable but belligerent at the same time. After a minute of processing, in a quieter voice, she said, “Can I change it?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

Kellareal sneered, having given up all pretense of being polite. “How do you think?”

Rosie took in a deep breath. “Go back in time.”

He continued to look at her as if he was speaking to her telepathically, but said nothing out loud.

Looking between the two of them, Litha asked, “Can you do that?”

Kellareal flicked a glance at Litha. “Yes. And no.”

“Stop with the riddles, angel! Spit it out!” Litha said.

He looked at Rosie. “You can, and should, undo what you did, but you can’t change Carnal’s fate.” She looked away. “And you need to do it fast, before somebody notices. Somebody we really don’t want to take notice.” When she didn’t respond, he said, “Rosie!”

“Yes! I understand!” she replied with just as much emotion.

“It’s not just you. If they find out that I’ve known about you… Well, it wouldn’t be good for either of us.”

“All right.” She looked at her lap. “I want a minute with my parents.”

Kellareal stood to leave. “I’ll be watching.”

“Fuck off,” Rosie replied.

And then he was gone.

“That’s my girl,” Deliverance said as he walked around the island. He gave Rosie a shoulder squeeze, wishing he had some magic to make the pain go away, but he knew all too well that even elementals have to endure a passage of mourning and time before scabs begin to form over the wounds of loss. He brushed a kiss on top of her head and then he was gone as well.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come for visits and… let you know what was going on with me.”

Storm said, “We love you. We worry about you. And we’d really appreciate it if you didn’t make a stranger of yourself.”

She nodded. “I’ll try to do better, but it could take some time to get over this. It hurts more than… more than anything, I guess. I didn’t imagine this in my future. But I guess nobody ever imagines something like this in their future.”

She accepted hugs from first Litha, then Storm.

“Do you know how to do this?” Litha asked.

“I haven’t done it before, or seen it done, but yeah. I think I do know.”

“You’re amazing,” Litha said. “Everybody makes mistakes, but not many people really try to fix them. I’m proud of you.”

“Love you, Mom.” Rosie made a valiant try for a smile, but couldn’t quite manage it.

“Please don’t just disappear,” Litha pled, but Rosie was gone.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Rosie stepped from the rose-streaked gray swirls of the passes onto the hill above the training field where she and Carnal had sat on the grassy promontory and talked the afternoon away. There was no one on the field. She imagined that the Exiled were still in a state of confusion as to what they were supposed to be doing.

Sitting cross-legged she concentrated on a visual for causing time to recede to a former state. The first image that popped into her mind was of making a sandwich at home in the villa kitchen by folding a single piece of bread over lunchmeat and cheese. She imagined time folding back on itself like that piece of bread.

All she needed was a crystal clear memory of the moment to which she’d return. She saw a flash of Carnal’s face when he’d been run through, but quickly pushed that aside. Kellareal had said she couldn’t change that, but he didn’t say she couldn’t have a little more time with Carnal. So she settled on a recollection that was as vivid in every detail and locked in on it until she felt something that could only be described as an inaudible ‘click’.

She opened her eyes when she heard Dandy saying, “You’ve been extra chirpy today.”

Rosie blinked, remembering the moment. “Chirpy? Really?”

“Uh-huh. And extra fast with your checklist. Does it have anything to do with the spectacle that I hear occurred yesterday?”

“What spectacle?”

“Carnal carrying you down the main way like a bride?
That
spectacle.”

Rosie threw her apron in the bin, smoothed back her hair, and surprised Dandy by rushing over to give her a big hug.

“What was that for?”

“For being my bestie.”

“What’s a bestie?”

Rosie grew serious. “A really good friend.” She looked toward the door. “Gotta go.”

“
Be careful, Roses.”

“Not a child, Dandy.”

She felt her mouth form those words without her brain being engaged, but when it came out that time, the second time, she felt positive that it was true. She wasn’t a child anymore. But there was valuable information in the exchange. She would need to concentrate and make her words and actions deliberate or else everything would proceed on auto and proceed as it had before.

That wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to live the day like it was her last as well as Carnal’s because, in many ways, it felt like it was. She was going to savor every second that Carnal still breathed.

He was waiting, as she knew he would be.

“What’s the plan?”

He grinned. “It’s a surprise.”

“I love surprises!” she said breathlessly as she threw him off guard by rushing in for her own version of a drive-by kiss.

When she pulled away, he said, “What was that for?”

“You look irresistibly kissable.”

He smiled like he couldn’t believe his good luck. “Does that mean you’re staying?”

“It means maybe. You have another day to convince me,” she said, feigning nonchalance.

“More than enough time. We’re taking the bike so you’ll need the riding clothes I gave you. How long will it take you to change?”

“Five minutes.”

She jogged to the house and up the stairs, not wanting to waste time. With a little magickal help, she was ready in three minutes. She hurried back downstairs, jumped off the porch, and swung onto the back of the motorcycle, glad to be close enough to Carnal to touch him again.

She wound her arms around his middle and held tight.

“You trying to squeeze the life out of me?” He chuckled.

Rosie’s breath caught at his choice of jest. “Is this too tight?”

He shook his head. “I’m just kidding. When it comes to you there’s no such thing as too close.”

On the way to the monster sheep pasture, Rosie leaned her cheek against Carnal’s back. She didn’t want sadness to be the overriding memory of their day together. She wanted it to be full of enough joy to last a lifetime, but she couldn’t keep thoughts of impending destiny away. Try as she might, she couldn’t keep a few tears from escaping.

He slowed and stopped. “We’re here.”

“Where?” she asked as she got off the bike, even though she knew exactly what was about to happen.

“Hey,” he said as he turned to look at her. “You been crying?”

“No.” She shook her head adamantly. “The wind got in my eyes.”

He looked unnerved by that. “I thought I was taking the wind for both of us.”

She put all her feelings for him into her responding smile. “No matter. What are we doing here?”

“Cider break.”

“It’s a nice spot. Cider sounds good.”

He looked pleased that she was enthusiastic about his date plan. He took the skin of cider out of one of the bike’s saddlebags and helped her over the fence.

“Watch where you step.”

She looked down, knowing there were piles of poop balls and knowing what made them. “What made these?”

“Sheep.”

“Nuh uh. Not this big.”

“This way. I’ll show you.”

When they topped the rise and saw the sheep, she said, “Monster sheep. They’re big enough to ride!”

He laughed. “Funny you should say that because that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”

“What?” She feigned ignorance.

“You pick one out for yourself. Then I’ll pick one and we’ll race.”

“What do I get if I win?”

He cocked his head. Clearly he hadn’t considered stakes. He stepped in to her, smiling, and came within inches of her face. Looking at her mouth, he said, “More kisses.” When she smiled like she liked that idea, he raised his eyes. “And no demon cheating.”

She laughed. “You think I might use my ability to get more kisses from you?”

He cocked his head. “How do I know that you haven’t already put me under a spell?”

Rosie’s smile faded as she looked at Carnal’s mouth longingly. “What kind of spell?”

He reached out and pulled her into his body. “The kind that makes you the center of my universe.” She buried her face in his neck and struggled to hold down the wracking sob that wanted to break free. “Hey. What’s this?” He pulled back, looking like he was struggling to come to terms with her sudden change of attitude towards him.

She forced a bright smile. “Okay. I’ll win fair and square. No demon cheating. What about a saddle and bridle?”

Carnal laughed. “You can be kind of prissy. You know that?”

“I’m picky about what I put between my legs.”

Carnal’s face fell as he considered the innuendo. “I’m… glad,” he countered. “So, which one is yours?”

Looking over the flock, she pointed to the biggest, the one Carnal had chosen the first time she’d lived that event. “That one.”

“Seriously? That’s the one I was going to pick!”

“Well then, you shouldn’t have offered me first choice.”

“
My mistake.” He smiled as he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward her choice of ride. “Sheep. This is Rosie.”

“You call that an introduction?” He lifted her onto the back of the sheep effortlessly.

Carnal chose the ewe who was runner up in the size contest.

“Okay,” he said. “Get two firm handfuls of wool like this.” He demonstrated the grip. Pointing to the oak sitting majestically up on the hill above, he said, “The first one to get to that tree wins.”

Rosie narrowed her eyes. “How many times have you done this? If you’ve been practicing, that’s a distinct advantage.”

“Life is so unfair,” he deadpanned.

“Did we talk about what happens if you win?”

“Yes, we did. Kisses.”

“Noooooo. That’s what you said I get if I win.”

“That’s the prize. Whoever wins. Go!” Carnal began goosing his sheep in the sides with his heels while telling it that there was magical grass at the top of the hill.

“Wait a minute. How do I make this thing go?”

He just laughed and kept going.

The first time she’d run the race with Carnal, he hadn’t stipulated no ‘demon cheating’. She nudged her sheep in the sides and, to her surprise, it took off after Carnal. She couldn’t have been more surprised when her sheep seemed to become interested in the competition. It broke out of its bone-jarring trot and began running toward the tree. She was almost left behind, but managed to hold on.

When the sheep reached the tree, they were neck and neck.

Rosie slid down off her sheep, then said, “Shoo. Go back to your friends. There’s no such thing as magical grass.” Actually there was, but she saw no benefit in broaching that subject. To Carnal, she said, “Guess it was a tie.”

Carnal looked disappointed. “I didn’t consider that possibility.” He brightened. “No.” He shook his head. “That was no tie. You were the clear winner.”