Read CARNAL, The Beast Who Loved Me Online
Authors: Victoria Danann
An older woman wearing a saffron-colored tunic, ambled out. “You eating?”
“Yes,” Carnal said. “There are two of us.”
The woman’s eyes swept over Rosie. “I see that. You eating outside?”
Carnal looked at Rosie. “Outside okay?”
She shrugged. “Sure. It’s nice enough.” She looked around thinking that either there were no other customers or all the other diners had opted for inside. It was on the cool side, but she was dressed for it.
“Pick a table,” said the woman. “I don’t suppose you want wine.”
When Carnal looked at Rosie, she smiled and nodded. “White. Chardonnay if you have it.”
“White?” The hostess, who had the air of a surly proprietor, practically guffawed. “Have you been asleep for a quarter century? Got red. You want it or not?”
Rosie looked up at Carnal. “What are you having?”
“Ale. Just like you serve a hundred times a day.”
“I’ll have the same, please,” Rosie told the woman.
“No wine. Just like I thought,” she grumbled.
As they sat down at a corner table, Rosie said, “I gotta tell you, if the food’s not better than the hospitality, you’re on the wrong end of persuasive.”
“Keep your shirt on. The fish things are worth it.”
“Is she acting like that because you’re hybrid, or because I’m here with you, or because she’s just an asshole?”
“One or three.”
“One or three what?”
“She either acts like that because I’m hybrid or because she’s an asshole. I don’t know which, but I’ve been here without you and it’s always the same. So it’s not because I’m here with a human.”
“Ah.” A teenage boy set down two mugs of ale with a big smile. She thanked him and, when he was gone, said, “So we know bad manners is not policy.” Carnal nodded, but didn’t smile. “Look. What I said about Serene, I wasn’t making a dig at your character. Where I’m from people forget things like that. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people. It just means they’re preoccupied.”
“Okay,” he said. “I guess I want you to think highly of me. Maybe I want that too much.” He looked away like saying that out loud was embarrassing.
“I do think highly of you, Carnal. That brings me to the other thing I wanted to talk about.”
He leaned back in his chair and took a swig of ale. “What’s that?”
“You.”
Rosie was not prepared for the wave of pure satisfaction that transformed Carnal’s expression from disengaged to delighted.
“You want to talk about me?”
She had to laugh at the look of pleasure on his face. “Yes. It’s your turn. Tell me everything, starting with why those four girls over there are peering around the doorway trying to get your attention.”
Carnal’s gaze followed the direction Rosie had indicated with a bob of her head.
“Don’t pay any attention to that. Humans act that way.” He took a drink of ale without looking at her.
“Some do. Undoubtedly. But not all.”
His eyes raised to meet hers. “Sorry. I… I’m so comfortable with you, I guess I forgot you’re part human. I didn’t mean to… you know.”
“Yes. Just like I didn’t mean to offend you when I asked if you’d told Serene we’d be out tonight.” She shook her head. “Regardless, I’m probably less human than you. Looks can be deceiving.”
Carnal studied her closely for a few beats. “Like I told you before, I’m not interested in the chicklets. At least not anymore. You’re what I want.”
“Change of subject. What’s your earliest memory?”
He looked away and swallowed. “Serene and I were in a space with a bunch of other females and their young. A… cage. A big one. A guard liked to make big noises and startle everyone. I remember she would pull me tighter into her body, when it would happen. To comfort me, I guess. To protect me, if she had to.”
Rosie was prepared that Carnal would cite something like that. Instinctively she knew he didn’t want sympathy from her. So she said, “How old were you?”
“Two, I think. I was three when Kellareal came for us. I didn’t have to live through abominations like my father and some of the others, but I do remember that there was one human who enjoyed tormenting the weakest of us. I have a lot of respect for the elders who endured much worse and are now going to try to set aside those feelings in the interest of peace.” He looked at her pointedly. “At your suggestion.”
“It is remarkable. I agree that taking the high road is admirable.”
“Taking the high road? I don’t know what that means.”
“Oh.” She smiled. “I think it’s an expression that originated in Scotland where there are steep mountains and deep valleys. Taking the high road was more difficult, just as doing the right thing is usually harder.”
“Serene was right. You’re a teacher.” Carnal smiled. “Anyway, we lived in tents while Newland was being built. My mother was already pregnant with Crave when we came here and he was born right after we moved into the Extant’s house. I was sure he was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened in the world. I ran all over telling everybody that I had a brother.”
Rosie’s eyes filled with empathetic tears when she saw that Carnal’s eyes were bright with moisture.
He shook his head. “That’s not what you want to hear about.”
“It is.” She was quick to offer reassurance. “I want to know everything about you. You’re fascinating, but you’re a mystery. If you want me to stay, I need to know what I’m staying for.”
“I’m fascinating?” His cocky smile always tugged at the corners of her own mouth.
“I have a feeling that’s not a surprise. You already know you are.”
Right on cue a young female voice said, “Carnal?” Rosie looked up to see one of the Farsuitwailian girls approaching the table. “Haven’t seen you for a while.”
“I’ve been busy.” He looked at Rosie. “And I’m going to be busy from now on. Forever.” He glanced at the girl. “Pass the word along. Okay?”
The girl looked at Rosie. “Because of her? She doesn’t look that special.”
Carnal turned around and faced the intruder. “Are you blind? It doesn’t get any more special than this.”
The hostess came out from the back. “Are you bothering my customers, chicklet? Go on now. Shoo. Shoo.” She began swinging a rag at the girl. “And don’t come back here unless you got money to pay for food.”
Rosie looked at Carnal. “I take back what I said about that woman. I think I like her a lot.”
Carnal laughed.
True to his word, the fish things were splendid. Rosie laughed through stories about Carnal and Crave getting into trouble all over Newland and, later, playing tricks on Charming. She saw the admiration he had for both his parents when he talked about them and what they’d accomplished.
When dusk grew heavy, the boy who kept the ale coming brought oil lamps. It would have been too cold to sit out, but a thick red ale warmed bodies with a glow that felt both invincible and immortal. For a time. Rosie wasn’t affected by alcohol, but enjoyed observing Carnal become more and more relaxed as the evening wore on.
“Can I ask you a question?” she said.
“You’ve been asking me questions for hours.”
“I know, but this one’s different. Do you not like Dandy?”
“Why would you think that?”
“You always say as little as possible and act like you want to get away as soon as possible.”
Carnal sat back and sighed. “She’s my brother’s Promise. Being around her reminds me that he’s… not here and that…”
“Makes you sad.” She finished the sentence for him. “That makes sense. I just wondered. We need to get a check,” Rosie said.
“What’s a check?” Carnal slurred.
“It’s the bill. So we can pay for dinner? Please tell me you have money.”
“Money? Noooooo. We don’t need money. Dinner is complimentary for Exiled. All part of the service.”
“A perk?” When he opened his mouth, she said, “Never mind.” She assumed that meant it was a gratuity in acknowledgement of the service Exiled provided in terms of defense of the city.
Rosie pushed her chair back and stood up. “Alrighty then.”
“Where you goin’?”
“We’re
going home, big fella. I’m not sure how yet. ‘Cause you’ve had too much ale to drive a motorcycle and it’s too far to walk.”
“First of all,” he waved,” I’m not drunk. Second of all… what was the question?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Come on.”
She held onto Carnal’s waist as they made their way back to the street. The market was deserted, the stalls closed for the night, and the avenue was just as quiet so far as Rosie could tell. She waited for Carnal to get on the bike in front of her, but while he was fumbling for the ignition, she got on and whisked them for a short ride through the passes. When Carnal looked up, they were sitting in front of the Extant’s house.
“See? I told you I’d get us here safe and sound,” he said.
“Yep. And here we are. Let’s get you inside. That ale must be really different from what we serve at the Commons because I’ve never seen one of you drunk before.”
Carnal almost fell down when he missed the first step at the porch.
“Shhhh. You’re going to wake everybody in the house.”
He laughed. “Stop acting like I’m drunk.”
“You
are
drunk.” He leaned toward her, his intent unmistakable. “No kisses when inebriated.”
“I’m not ineeeee…,” he seemed to stop and think for a few seconds before deciding to finish the sentence with, “…bated.”
“Uh-huh.”
She opened the door as quietly as possible, but Carnal sounded like a bull turned loose in a tea room. She noticed the kitchen light was on. She wouldn’t have expected it at that time of night. They’d talked for hours at the restaurant and it was late.
Heading toward the kitchen, she hoped Carnal would manage the stairs and get himself to bed.
She knew instantly when she reached the kitchen threshold that something awful had happened. Free, Serene, and Charming sat at the kitchen table. In front of them two objects sat on the table, an open box and a handwritten note. Serene looked like she’d been crying for a long time.
“What’s happened?” Rosie asked.
Free swallowed. “Someone put this in the side compartment of one of the builder’s bikes today, when he was in Farsuitwail meeting with Red.”
“What is it?” came a deep, raspy and demanding growl from behind her.
Rosie couldn’t believe the sweet, funny, tipsy Carnal she had helped inside a few minutes before was the same person who sounded so awake and angry. It was difficult to understand what he’d said, like his vocal cords had thickened. But apparently instantaneous sobriety was a side effect of seeing his family in crisis.
When no one answered immediately, he stepped around Rosie and looked in the box. It contained a blood-soaked rag. He picked it up, held it to his nose, sniffed, and dropped it like it was on fire before snatching up the note that lay on the table.
Rosie stood statue still and watched helplessly as a range of emotions played over Carnal’s face. He looked from Free to Serene, then at Charming before he crumpled the note in his fist, dropped it on the table, and turned away without a word. Rosie followed as he walked toward the front door.
“Carnal, stop! Where are you going? What’s happened?” He kept walking without acknowledging her. “You’re just going to leave? Stop and talk to me!”
He didn’t. He never broke stride. He left the front door standing open, got on his motorcycle, and rode away into the darkness.
Rosie stood motionless for a minute or two, staring out at the night, hoping he’d change his mind and come back. At some point, when she decided that was wishful thinking, she closed the door and turned back toward the kitchen.
“Will somebody tell me what’s wrong?” she asked, standing at the threshold, half afraid to step over.
“Someone sent us proof that Crave is alive,” Free said.