Losing Herself: Surrender

By

Alicia Roberts

Losing Herself: Surrender, Part 1

Copyright 2013 by Alicia Roberts

This
book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental.

Disclaimer: The material in this book is for mature audiences only and contains graphic sexual content. It is intended only for those aged 18 and above.

When
Emily Miller lands a prestigious internship at a hedge fund, she can’t believe her luck.

However,
Alpha Investments Ltd isn’t just any hedge fund – it’s owned by thirty-three year-old investor, Nathaniel Steele. Nate is known for his business acumen, and for his glamorous lifestyle.

The powerful billionaire could have any woman in the world, and
Emily can’t imagine him taking much notice of her. However, that all changes when Nate invites her up to his secluded private office…

Emily is torn between her longing for Nate and her fear of getting hurt.
Nate requires Emily to submit to him completely, and is surprised to find that she is more than a match for him in a battle of wits and will.

Losing
Herself is a 20,000 word tale of lust, surrender, passion, and of course – overpowering love.

Chapter One

The first three months hadn’t gone well.

Emily had always dreamed of living in New York City, but now that she was actually living here, the reality failed to measure up to the dream. Instead of feeling successful and glamorous, she felt naïve and out of place, and as the days went by without her landing a proper job, she was beginning to feel like a failure.

The only
work she’d managed to find was a thankless, part-time waitressing job at a greasy diner. Fortunately, her parents back in Wisconsin had agreed to help her out financially for a while, until she got a full-time job, so she wasn’t homeless, yet. But not earning real money meant that she was always pinching pennies and stressed about expenses.

Today, however,
things were different.

Today, she was here
- Alpha Investments Ltd. And today would be a good day, today would change her life. She’d make sure of it.

When the HR rep from
Alpha Investments had called her a while back about an internship position, Emily had been surprised. But she’d aced her way through two group interviews, and a day-long interview with various different people.

Now, two weeks later, she’d been called in for the final interview.
Emily was surprised that she’d made it to the final round. She was sure there were candidates who were much more qualified than she was. But she was determined that no matter what, this internship position would be hers.

After all, if she’d managed to come so far, why couldn’t she go all the way?

***

“We’re looking for people with critical thinking skills,” the HR director said, “And from our conversation, I can tell that you’ve got those skills.”

Emily flushed with pleasure. “Thank you, sir.”

“Please, call me Jim.”

“Of course. Thanks, Jim.”

Emily
wondered if she’d ever see Jim Walters again. He reminded her of George Costanza from Seinfield – short, balding, and good-humored. She thought the interview had gone well, but if it hadn’t, if she didn’t get the job, then she’d never see Jim again.

“Thanks for your time,” Jim said, interrupting her thoughts and standing up.

Emily followed suit and stood up too, and when he extended his hand, she shook it politely.

“If you can just wait
in Reception for a bit, Nate will be free in just a few minutes to talk to you,” he said.

“
Nate – Nate Steele?” Emily felt her heart stop beating, and the world stood still.

Jim smiled. “Yes,
he’ll be interviewing the final candidates to make sure they’re a good fit with our culture. He has the final say, of course.”

“Yes, of course,” she murmured.

After thanking Jim for his time, Emily left the room in a slight daze, and in the Reception area. As the minutes ticked by, her nervousness increased. So this was the final reckoning. It would all depend on what Mr. Steele thought of her.

She found herself kicking herself for not doing more research on the man in charge of the company.
Emily had read through articles and reports on Alpha Investments and the hedge fund industry in general. But when she’d Googled Nate Steele’s name, the articles that popped up were all about his personal life.

The
re were articles gossiping about which celebrities he’d been spotted with, which actress he might be dating at the moment. There were articles speculating about who he was dating at the moment, and there were photos of him – tall, well-dressed, with dark hair and tan skin. His eyes were dark and speculative, and he looked intense and brooding. Emily couldn’t help but admire the man’s good looks, before clicking on a website called Steelemyheart.com. It turned out to be a forum where women posted – in great details – about what they would like Mr. Steele to do to them. Emily giggled and switched off her laptop nervously, trying hard not to think about her potential boss that way.

Some of the women’s comments were very graphic and embarrassing.
Emily wasn’t a virgin, but sex had never lived up to the hype for her. The boys she’d slept with had been awkward and fumbling, and the only time she had orgasms were when she used her new vibrator on herself.

Although she’d
read only a few posts on Steelemyheart.com, later that night Emily had vivid dreams about what
she’d
like Nate Steele to do to her, and she woke up in the morning flushed and wet and horny.

After that,
Emily decided not to research Nate. She knew deep down that sex with Nate would be like nothing she’d ever experienced before, and she didn’t want to fantasize about the man who might be her boss. But now, she regretted not knowing more about him.

“Miss
Miller?”

The man’s voice broke her reverie and she looked up into the
dark eyes of a barrel-chested man. “Yes?”

“Please take the e
levator on the right up to the 41
st
floor. Nate’s waiting for you.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Emily stood up, wishing her voice didn’t sound so shrill and nervous, and walked over to the elevator quickly. She didn’t want to keep Mr. Steele waiting. Nate. That’s what everyone called him – he must like to have a casual work environment.

The elevator took a few seconds to go up, but it felt like an eternity to
Emily. During this time, she reflected on how suave and sophisticated all the women here seemed. They wore designer clothing, and were perfectly groomed and coiffed. Their perfect suits made her own outfit – purchased on sale – seem cheap, shiny and unflattering. She’d done her best with her makeup this morning, but she felt like she wasn’t really up to the standard here.

She
stepped out of the elevator and walked into the small lobby. There were three doors – the one on her left had a nameplate that said, “Robert Jones, CTO,” the one on her right said, “Maurice Bernhardt, COO,” and the one straight ahead said, “Nate Steele, CEO”.

Emily
gulped. Suddenly, this was all very real. It was make or break time for her, and she looked at the pretty blonde secretary who sat at the desk in the lobby.

“I’m
Emily Miller,” she choked out, feeling like an intruder. “I was asked to come up and see Mr. Steele?”

“Ye-
es?” the blonde drawled, looked bored. She had perfect skin – or was it perfect makeup? – and long, perfectly blow-dried hair. Her eyes were a steely blue, her cheekbones were high and her nose was perfectly-shaped.

Emily
felt ugly and awkward standing near her, and asked nervously, “Should I go in?”

The receptionist’s eyes were cold and unfriendly, and she looked
Emily up and down, taking in her off-the-rack suit and minimal makeup. Suddenly, she laughed shortly and said, “Sure. But I doubt you’ll live up to Nate’s standards.”

Emily
blushed furiously and walked determinedly up to the door. She knocked politely, and a male voice called out, “Come in.”

Chapter Two

The blonde receptionist’s taunt had thrown Emily off her game. She felt acutely aware of her Midwestern roots, of her lack of elegance and poise, and the plainness of her outfit. Why had she ever thought she’d fit in, in such a place? She felt as though that brief sentence had stripped her of her dignity, and she took a deep breath, trying to calm down and focus on the interview ahead of her.

Emily
opened the door and stepped into the room.

She was immediately overwhelmed by the size and elegance of the corner office. On one side were floor-to-ceiling windows that afforded a beautiful view, and on another wall
was an original Matisse. But what really took her breath away was the handsome man sitting behind the table, his eyes even more intense than she’d imagined. His gaze penetrated her soul, and a jolt of lightening ran down Emily’s spine and into her toes. She had the strange sensation that he knew she’d had an erotic dream about him, and that she wanted more than just a boss-employee relationship.

Nathaniel
Steele raised one amused eyebrow. “Don’t just stand there, come in.”

Of course.
She felt like such a fool. There was no way he could read her mind, or know about her erotic dreams.

“Thank you,” she said, and walked quickly towards the table.

Before she knew it, she was sitting down opposite him, and then she was kicking herself silently. Why had she thanked him? And why had she sat down before he’d offered her a seat? The man continued to look at her, an amused look on his face.

They stared at each other in silence for what felt like an eternity.
Nate looked amused, and Emily felt awkward and uncomfortable.

Finally,
Nate said, “Well, let’s get this interview over with. Might as well, since I’ve promised HR.”

Emily
gulped. Why did he sound so reluctant to interview her? She must have made a bad impression straight off the bat, and she wished she could turn back time and make a more dignified entrance.

Stop it
, she told herself.
You still have a chance. Ace this interview, and the job is yours. You can charm the socks off this man, you can do it.

Nate
was looking at her silently, and Emily decided to give it her best shot. She smiled at him, trying to look sophisticated and charming, and said, “I’m very happy to be talking to you today, Mr. Steele.”

Nate
laughed, and Emily relaxed for a split second, until he said, “We haven’t begun the interview yet. How do you know it’ll be a happy one?”

She frowned
slightly. Nate Steele was dark and cynical, and she’d probably made a fool of herself by sounding naïve and hopeful. But it was too late to take back what she’d just said, so instead, she replied, “This is a great opportunity and it would mean a lot to me if I got the internship.”

“Really?
And why is that?”

Nate
’s eyes didn’t miss a beat, and Emily tried her best to explain. She began to reel off a list of reasons why Alpha Investments was such a great company, and what a wonderful opportunity it was for a new intern.

“Stop.”
Nate interrupted her halfway through the spiel, and Emily took a deep breath, trying not to admire the way his face reflected the light from the window. Nate Steele had broad shoulders, and his face was a symphony of hard, angular lines, tanned skin, and dark hair that fell just the right way.