His eyebrow quirks up and he says in a cool tone, “If you’re done, you will be happy to know that I have roadside assistance. I pay for it every year, so this tow is going to cost both of us zero dollars. You are going to load on this bike. We are going to go to the auto parts store. We are going to buy a starter, and I am going to replace your old one.” The cool tone turns bitter. “Please, Stella, let me know if that is to your and Max’s standards. If not, please tell this rich boy how it’s done. And for the record, I do not like to be compared to Max …understood?”
I feel heat hit my cheeks because that is exactly how Max and I do it, except the bike. I’ve never seen Ty this serious and I am damn sure that I crossed a line. My voice is low. “No, that’s a good plan. I apologize for the Max comparison. I just didn’t think you would understand that I can’t afford to take it to a garage. And not to be mean, Ty, but with the way you grew up, I just assumed someone else serviced your cars.”
“Did you see the old car in the garage at my grandparents? I was raised doing that shit, Stel. It’s always been a hobby for my grandfather. He taught me how to be a man and a part of that was how to work on cars. It’s how we spent a lot of our time together and we both enjoyed it. We still do when he gets a new toy. He restores them and we enjoy the rebuild. Then he sells them and makes a fortune. And the cycle continues. I’ve not been as involved now that I have my own business, but I still go over and help him on a slow day.”
“Sorry for the misunderstanding.” Our conversation ceases as Ty talks to the tow guy. He hands him a twenty dollar bill and comes back over and slides on the bike. “You said zero dollars, so why did you give him cash?”
He pulls the helmet over my head and starts to fasten it. “So he would drop it in my lot while you and I go parts shopping. I didn’t want to follow him to my place just to turn around and have to leave again. Just saving us some time.” His smile is drop dead gorgeous which makes my face light up. “Come on, get on.” I comply, wrap my arms around his waist, and we are off.
We find the part and head back to his flat. My car is sitting and waiting and the tow guy is long gone. I lean over and watch Ty effortlessly get his hands dirty, and switch out my starter. He looks unbelievably sexy, sweating and repairing. When he wipes the sweat off his brow with the back of his hands, he leaves smudges on his perfect face. He’s so much more than meets the eye. His looks are what everyone sees, but I am seeing a more personal side as we stand here, and banter back and forth about his mechanical abilities.
He rescheduled his only client when I called. Fussing at him comes easy as I tell him not to jeopardize his business for me ever again. In the elevator, he pushes me up against the wall and I squeal at the sweaty and dirty hands that run up under my shirt. We decide that we are hungry, but Ty is filthy from being under my hood, so he goes and grabs a shower while I lounge on the couch reading on my phone.
I’ve been with this man sexually many times and in several different ways, but to see him free of clothes, completely bared to me, is jaw dropping…literally. My eyes fall in love with his hair that has no direction whatsoever. Those features have been perfectly placed on his face, and don’t get me started on the broad shoulders, thin waist and ripped abs. Good God, what’s below has my mouth watering. “Enjoying the show, Mrs. Avery?” I pull my eyes off his most intimate parts and back to his face as I watch a water drop fall from his hair to his chest.
“Yes.” My answer is simple and true. His shoulder and that intricate tattoo, now have my eyes full attention.
“Did you pick a favorite part?” He turns and my eyes fall again. Everything inside of me warms. His ass is hard and the two dimples above are beyond sexy. I finally see the tattoo ends far below the waist on his right ass cheek. I don’t know what to say. I’m speechless. He steps into his boxer briefs and disappears into the closet.
After packing Ty’s backpack, we jump on his bike and head out of the city. Considering we packed some simple turkey sandwiches, a bag of chips, along with a couple bottles of water, I’m pretty sure we are having a picnic.
The secluded lake is tranquil on this relaxing, sunny Sunday. We spread out the blanket and I complain that I got Ty’s not-so-well-put-together sandwich and he got mine. My tummy is happy to be full, and I’m content lounging in the shade while Ty and I laugh and poke fun at one another. Who knew that my car breaking down would lead to a day of no work and a picnic with Ty?
I do what I enjoy so much and lie under the shade tree, and once again I get to lounge with this perfectly beautiful man next to me. It feels like yesterday that I went out with him on that Sunday to do an engagement shoot. “You never answered my question earlier.” His voice startles me, and he continues to let his fingers play with the buttons on my shirt. The indirect touches to my skin are barely there, yet my nipples perk knowing he’s near.
“What question?” I open my eyes, and gaze up at his face. He’s looking directly into my eyes. His face is so soft and gentle. I feel my cheeks heat, and warmth fill my body that has nothing to do with sex. I feel like he’s looking into the depths of my soul, looking right through me, looking into me. Ty has dropped the mask, and I get to see the real him. The side I knew was there. The side that has feelings, and a heart, that just maybe, has a soft spot for me. I can’t help but reach to skim my fingers over his eyebrow, and down his cheek. It’s a quick and quiet moment, but it most definitely was a moment.
He continues to stare into my eyes and replies, “When I got out of the shower, I could feel your eyes on me. You said you were enjoying the show. Then I asked you if you had a favorite part. You never answered me.”
The smile I get is involuntary as I think of his naked physique. “Why do you ask? And as of right now, I don’t have one yet.”
“Maybe because you look all sexy relaxed, and I’m thinking about having you again. Would you like me to ask you for the third time?”
“No, I heard you the first and second time. To be honest, that was the first time you let me see all of you. Sadly, I don’t think I can answer because you don’t let me touch all of them.”
He scrunches his forehead. “You’ve seen all I have to offer, Stella. And, may I add, several times. If I’m not mistaken, you have touched me damn near everywhere.” I hold my breath. I have so many thoughts running through my head. I want to be more like Ty and just be able to open my mouth and speak without thinking, but it’s so damn hard for me. “I thought you’d gotten a little better at this, but obviously, not as good as I thought.” I look away to avoid the way he is studying my expression. “It’s obvious the gears are turning, and you’re thinking. Your eyes are avoiding mine. Just say it, Stella. Tell me what you’re talking about when you say you haven’t touched all of me.”
I turn to my side and tuck my arm under my head. He mimics my position while I lay silently. We are eye to eye. “Okay, but I really don’t think you want to hear my shit, Ty.”
“You’ve said that before, and it wasn’t true then, nor is it true now. Hit me with it.”
Lying quietly and finding the courage, my mouth starts to move, and thank goodness, my voice comes out with it. “I don’t really get to explore you. Every time we’ve been together, we’ve had some sort of clothes on. I get that it’s a line you don’t want to cross, but I’m not sure why. I mean you are pushing your most private parts into my most private parts. So I don’t get why our skin touching is such a big deal. If my body doesn’t do it for you… then why have sex with me?” I don’t stop. I pick a place on his face, and lock my stare. I can’t look into his eyes. I breathe out, “Kissing is a no-no. You’ve made that very clear, but we are having sex, so why not kiss my lips? I’ve assumed it’s because you are fucking me, casually, like you say. But it’s a real ego killer, Ty, that you don’t want to see me fully naked, have our skin touch, or put your lips on mine. Yet, you will thrust yourself into me and you seem to care, and make sure that I…um…get mine, you know?”
His look goes from shock to realization that he opened this can of worms, then finally to acceptance. “Do you have limits, Stella? I know you haven’t been with that many guys, but you have to have some sort of limits?”
My eyes dart down and I pick another spot on his shirt to stare at. “I’ve been with plenty of guys, Ty. It’s definitely nothing that I’m proud to lie here and tell you, but unfortunately, it’s the truth.”
He pulls up to rest on his elbow and looks like I just kicked him in the shins. “I thought that you hadn’t been with a man in forever.”
“That’s true. It had been one year and four months, but…I wasn’t always so tame. That span was by choice.” He doesn’t push. I tuck up close and now I am half on my side half on my back and flush against his chest.
Fuck it…this is me. He can like it or not.
“I had a boyfriend in high school who I loved.” I giggle and air quote the last part. “I was a sophomore and he was a senior. He was my first. We dated for a while and I finally gave it up to him. I was so sure he cared. About six months after we started having sex, I felt him pull away. So one night after our football game, I told him I was going to The Martin’s to stay the night, and watch movies. But really, Zoey and I went to the same party as him. I walked in and could just feel the tension. I knew. My suspicions were confirmed when I found him in the down stairs game room all over a girl that I cheered with on my varsity squad. It broke my heart. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to keep anyone, even though I gave myself to him. I don’t have to explain abandonment issues. You know, I wasn’t enough for my mom to love so I was sure that giving my boyfriend all I had was enough. That wasn’t true. So I…rebelled.” His face is somber and he brushes his fingertips over my forehead. I continue, “I went a bit crazy and explored my sexuality. I learned very quickly that my developed body had an effect on men. It made me feel powerful and sexy. So I used sex as a way to…I don’t know…feel wanted? Feel special? More than anything, it made me feel in control of my life when I spent so much of it feeling out of control, powerless and lonely. I know that’s stupid.” I take a deep breath after my confessions.
Ty grips my chin in his fingers, face full of compassion. “It’s not at all stupid! What happened after that?”
“When we went to college, I slowed down. It felt empty every time I was with someone. It felt good to be able to land a guy so easily, yet not so good when it was over, and he was no longer interested. So I concentrated on school and partied a bit less, but I was struggling. Financially, it was hard to maintain school and work a full time job. I got that same feeling of lack of control. I started to feel alone, and lonely and went a little crazy. So the cycle began again. I told you before that I just got tired of the bullshit. ‘You’re hot…You’re beautiful…that was great.’ All that shit is said in the heat of the moment. It means crap, you know? So, here we are.” I reach up and skim my thumb on his jaw. His eyes are filled with understanding and compassion. I know he knows how it feels to have a missing parent while growing up. Hell, he had two of them. “I didn’t want to be with anyone until I saw you. Now, here we are having an awkward conversation, and me vomiting my crazy life and feelings at you. I don’t know why, but I do this to you way too much. You should feel special though. Zoey is the only one that gets to hear all my shit that no one cares about.”
“I care, Stella. And I asked, didn’t I? So what, you thought sex was going to equal love?”
“When I was younger I did. Then, like I said, it was about control. Of course, now I know sex does not equal love. If I could go back, I would change a lot of my irresponsible decisions. This is not a story I want to have to tell my husband one day. ‘Hey, husband, when I was young, I was a slut’.”
“Shut up, that’s not true. You were young and confused.” He removes his eyes from mine and looks over me, seeming to be staring at nothing. “Sex with someone you love can be fulfilling, but you’re right, sex definitely does not equal love. And Stella, to set you straight, there are a lot of women who have had many partners. In this day and age, you are most likely not going to find a virgin wife. It was all done in your extreme youth and I can relate on the filling a void thing. So, tell your husband that I said he’s an asshole if he wants to judge you.”
I giggle with the vision of telling my non-existent husband that Ty thinks he’s an asshole. “Thanks, I just have a lot of regret in that department. You loved Lacey? Is she the one you loved and the sex was fulfilling?” Bold Stella here and questioning.
“I thought I loved her, but you didn’t answer my question. Do you have any limits?”
I smile because I didn’t answer him on purpose, and he really didn’t answer me.
This crap is hard to talk about.
“I rarely do oral sex. It’s very intimate and personal.” The blush on my face is ridiculous. “Your face and mouth are on the person’s most secret parts, and if you don’t know them, well, it’s kinda gross,” He falls back laughing. We’ve now changed position because I’m leaning up on my elbow and he’s still laughing on his back. I try to hide my smirk, but fail. “Um, are you done?”
“I think so.” But he’s not. Finally, he can breathe. “It’s just…you said you went a bit crazy in high school and again when you hit your twenties, but you just acted like oral sex was the most horrible thing you have ever heard of.”
I smack his chest because he’s still laughing at me. “Stop laughing! It’s just, if you don’t know the person, then how do you know they are, like, clean? Like, shower clean and not nastified. Not to mention, the other clean. I just don’t want to do that to some random man or let him do that to me either.”
The laughter stops and his face softens. “Good, I don’t want any random guy to do that to you either.” He grabs my hand and brushes my knuckles with his thumb. “This sex talk has me wanting to get on my bike and take you back to my place. We could shower really well, get all clean, and I can use my tongue on you since you are not some random chick. I don’t expect you to reciprocate, but I want to explore you now that I know your limits.” His shit-eating grin returns. “I seem to like to push you for what I want.”