BROKEN (2 page)

A
djust
ing
the lens on his night vision goggles
for
a sharper image
, he
panned all the windows until he located her bedroom on the second floor.
 
Mitch hesitated for a moment before deciding to move in a little closer.
 
Sticking to the shadows, he made his way towards the house and ducked behind a tree not a hundred yards away.
 
He’d been camped in the woods overlooking the ranch for several days now, observing Jessie for the most part
,
but also keeping an eye on the ranch hands.
 
This was the first time he’d been able to get close to the house.

He had to admit she ran a tight operation and didn’t seem
to
mind getting her own hands dirty.
 
The light in her bedroom always flicked on well before dawn and she worked like a powerhouse until after the ranch hands had been fed dinner.
 
Once the dishes were washed and put away, Jessie
came
outside to sit on the porch swing until the sun went down.
 

It bothered him that she worked so hard, and it bothered him even more that she sat there night after night waiting for a man who would never show up.
 
He wished there was something he could do to ease her sorrow, but what he had to tell her would only make it worse
.  He
wasn’t quite ready to do that yet.

Mitch leaned against the tree trunk, casting his glance upwards just as Jessie opened the French doors and stepped out onto the balcony.
 
Air hissed from his lungs at the sight of her standing there in a sleeveless, floor length nightgown.
 
He was certain the gown wasn’t sheer, but with the light shinning from behind her, Jessie’s lithe form was clearly visible beneath the garment.
 
 
Every dangerous curve of her.
 

He’d only seen her with her hair pulled back, but tonight her golden curls cascaded over her shoulders making her look like a story book princess.
 
Adam hadn’t exaggerated; one gentle touch from Jessie Buchanan was probably all any man would need to feel whole again.

For a while she just stood there, occasionally lifting her face to the sky as if she was studying the stars.
 
Then her body seemed to tense.
 
S
he couldn’t possibly see him, not with the cover of night and the way he
’d
plastered himself against the tree, but suddenly
her head turned i
n his direction a
s if she knew he was there
.
 

Mitch froze, not moving, not even daring to breathe as she leaned over the rail, her eyes searching the darkness.
 
His heart reached out to
Jessie
when she straightened back up and covered her face with her hands.
 
He waited until she’d gone back inside, the gut-wrenching sound of her sobs following him long after he was out of earshot.
 

Surely Adam couldn’t possibly have known the anguish Jessie suffered during his long absences.
 
True, his brother was sometimes a little detached when it came to other people’s feelings, but it wasn’t intentional.
 
No doubt
,
Adam never even considered that she
would
feel any
differently than
he did; regret at having to separate and anticipation for the next brief visit.
 
Still, Mitch couldn’t help feel a little animosity towards Adam for being so blind to the emotional turmoil Jessie went through, especially since he knew how much his brother had cared for her.

Back at the camp, Mitch considered his options.
 
He could hide up here like a coward and let Jessie continue to have her hopes shattered every night when Adam didn’t show, or he could go tell her the truth and allow her to begin the healing process.
 
He didn’t want to tell her, didn’t want to be the one to break her heart, but what choice did he have?
 
Mitch rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
 
Maybe there was another option; one that would help them both put some closure on Adam’s death.

He knew how he would have felt if he hadn’t been with his brother right before he died.
 
It would have been infinitely harder to deal with if he hadn’t been able to tell Adam how much he loved him and how much richer his own life had been because of all the adventures they’d shared.
 
Jessie had been robbed of that.
 
She
would
never have those last few precious minutes with him, never hear the words Adam should have said to her when he had the chance.
 
Mitch could give that to her.

Jessie knew about him, but Adam had
never divulged that he and Mitch were twins.
 
“Someday we’ll give her the shock of her life and show up at the same time,” he’d laughed.

Mitch mulled over the idea of
showing up at
the ranch pretending to be Adam
. 
Jessie could have one last time with him.
 
He could give her the memories she deserved to have, give her a part of his brother Mitch knew had been held back.
 
He doubted Adam had ever told
Jessie
he loved her,
al
though he knew it was true.
 
And in the process, maybe Jessie could ease some of the ache in his own heart.
 

He could stay for a few weeks, give her a lifetime of memories, then slip out of her life forever.
 
Later, he could send one of his men to break the news to her that Adam was dead.
 
She would grieve, but at least she’d have those last days with him to comfort her.

He wandered to the edge of the tree line, staring down at the ranch and the light that was still burning bright in Jessie’s bedroom window.
 
She was all alone, and she was hurting.
 
He could pull it off, he was sure of it.
 
Hell, half the time the men in his outfit hadn’t been able to tell him and Adam apart.
 
Jessie would believe he was Adam because she
would
have no reason not to.
 
He tried to convince himself it was a selfless act, that he
would
be doing it only because she needed him, but
that
wasn’t entirely true.
 
Mitch needed her too.
 

“What do you think, Adam?
 
Do you want to kick my ass for even considering sleeping with your woman?”
 
He imagined Adam’s response and chuckled.
 
“Of course you do.
 
If she was mine, I’d want to rip your damn head off.”
 

He thought of Jessie as she’d looked standing out on the balcony, and the absolute grace with which she rode a horse.
 
Over the past several days he’d watched with pure admiration as she struggled with bales of hay that nearly outweighed her, watched her repair fences and herd cattle with a fierce determination that somehow made him feel proud.
 

“She’s everything you said she was, Adam, so I know you’ll understand why I have to go to her.
 
I just hope you can forgive me.”
 

He strode back to the camp and started packing his things, confident he was doing the right thing for all of them.
 
Despite
the momentary twinge of guilt he felt when he fired up the truck, Mitch maneuvered around the trees and headed down the hill towards the ranch.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                       
***

Jessie lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.
 
What had gotten into her?
 
She’d been worried sick for several weeks now, fearing the worst had happened to
Kincaid
.
 
Then inexplicably, she’d gotten this crazy idea in her head that he was here.
 
She
had
even gone so far as to convince herself he was down by trees watching her, waiting for her, and she’d almost raced downstairs to go to him.
 
When she realized how absurd she was being and that
Kincaid
certainly wouldn’t be hiding behind trees when he could be inside with her, she’d burst into tears.

It wasn’t like her to lose control of her emotions that way, but then her encounter with Del had thrown her off balance a little so maybe that was it.
 
She supposed she
would
have to deal with her foreman and his inappropriate behavior sooner or later because he was getting increasingly persistent about the notion she needed a man.
 

Jessie scowled.
 
Need a man!
 
She’d practically run the ranch on her own the last few years before her father died
,
and now she had full rein.
 
She was doing just fine, and even if she did decide she’d waited long enough for
Kincaid
,
it wouldn’t be because she was entertaining
romantic ideas about Del.
 
Not that there was anything wrong with him.
 
He was hard-working and would make a good husband for someone else, just not her.

Unfortunately,
Del wasn’t the only one questioning her reasons for remaining faithful to
Kincaid
.
 
She was close with all of her ranch hands, and one by one they’d all eventually asked her why she didn’t find someone who would stick around for more than a few weeks at a time.
 
It was none of their business, and she had no problem telling them so
,
even though she knew they only asked because they cared for her.
 
But Del was a different story altogether because he’d made it quite plain he was more than willing to fill the role.

As for why she allowed
Kincaid
to float in and out of her life, the answer was simple.
 
It was the only way she could have him.
 
He
had
never lied to her; right from the very beginning he told her he worked in Special Ops
,
and that if she wanted any kind of relationship with him
,
she had to accept that he would be gone more than he was there.
 

Jessie had jumped on it because she knew in her heart it was the best he could offer, just as she knew that was about as close to an admission of love as Adam Kincaid was ever going to get.
 
He’d made no promises beyond the one to be with her when he could and to remain faithful as long as they were together.
 
He hadn’t offered more and she’d made no demands.
 
Yes, she missed him terribly when he was gone, but Adam did more than make up for it when he returned.

Jessie closed her eyes, letting the images of the passion they’d shared fill her senses.
 
For the first few days after
Kincaid
returned, they rarely left the bedroom, but once the initial hunger for each other had been satiated, he worked the ranch right alongside her.
 
With her workload cut in half, she had time to go horseback riding with him and
have picnics down by the pond or just take a walk in the woods.
 
Those were the times she cherished most, because that’s when he opened up to her.

As much as
Kincaid
loved what he did for a living, it came with a lot of baggage.
 
He couldn’t give her specific details about the missions, of course, but that wasn’t what wormed its way into his mind and heart anyway.
 
It was the deaths that lay so heavily on his shoulders and preyed on him; those he
had
tried to save but
failed,
and the comrades who
lost their lives attempting the rescue.
 
And he worried incessantly about his brother and often had nightmares that Mitch got injured or killed.
 
Yet he was driven to go back, to keep trying to make a difference.