Breakable (22 page)

Chapter Twenty-Six

Before
prom night arrived it felt like it would be an achievement just to be there.
Like cymbals should crash and a choir should sing, heralding the moment I
walked in the door.

The
reality was anticlimactic. And frightening.

A
large wooden staircase climbed one wall of the foyer. It led to the staff room,
but tonight it was set up with a drop cloth for photographs.

At
its base a weary looking guy with a beard stood next to a tripod and a silver
umbrella thingy, shouting directions at the group of students on the stairs
throwing themselves around.

A
messy line of couples snaked around the room and all the way out the door.

Just
behind the photographer, the junior rec room crowd milled, their voices rising
in a concert of greetings when Dex and I joined them. A few even said my name –
then laughed.

I
scanned the crowd and found Mark standing next to an island of chignoned,
platinum hair.

Karyn.

I
couldn’t see her face, but the frown that furrowed Mark’s brow spoke volumes.
He leaned down and gestured, pointing back towards the parking lot.

Her
sleek roll of hair swung side to side and her hands danced in front of her.
Whatever she said, Mark stared at the roof – his favorite way to take a breath
when he was irritated. I stifled a smile. It faded quickly though, when I
realized whether they were fighting or not, he was still there with her.

Then
the crowd on the stairs filed down, stumbling over each other, the girls
shrieking and falling into the bannisters while the guys pulled each other into
headlocks.

Dex
laughed and called something to one of the guys, who swore good-naturedly and
took a slap on the arm from his girlfriend.

Everyone
looked so happy.

The
flustered photographer hunched over his camera, scowling. But soon he nodded,
waving us to the stairs.

I
gripped Dex’s hand and pulled him forward. No way would I stand at the front of
this picture where someone would make rude gestures behind me.

Unfortunately,
that meant we were the first ones in place. I ended up perched at the top on
the left. Everyone arranged themselves, trading places and nudging into gaps.
Dex stood next to me, but all his attention was on Finn.

Finn
had each arm flung over the shoulder of a girl. Had he brought two of them? I
only recognized one, which meant the other was either younger, or from outside
our school. They giggled and flirted with him while he preened and yelled at
the other guys, showing off. I couldn’t imagine what either of them saw in him.
Then he leaned into the ear of one, his lips brushing her hair.

I
don’t know what he said, but she colored and slapped his chest. Despite this
apparent protest, she immediately snuggled closer under his arm and beamed up at
him.

So
Finn had a pretty tongue when he decided to use it, huh?

I
felt eyes on me before I saw them.

At
the far end of the row, six or seven bodies away, Mark looked sideways and up,
staring at me. But his face went was blank. He didn’t say anything, or move,
but his eyes didn’t leave mine either.

When
I finally broke the gaze, my eyes slid over Karyn. Her gaze skittered away, and
she turned to face the front. Had she seen Mark and me staring? I hoped so.

Another
quick glance revealed she’d turned her back on Mark with her lips pressed tight
together and her arms folded.

Excellent.

“Okay,
okay everybody, eyes front please.” The bearded photographer clapped his hands
and we all turned to face him.

The
photographer’s raised voice had drawn the eyes of everyone in the lobby. Though
those in the crowd below continued talking, all eyes passed over us,
evaluating. Judging.

A
number of people looked at me, frowned, tapped friends or pointed. My stomach
twisted, then there was a burst of laughter from a group of girls at the front
and suddenly I was sure everyone in the foyer was laughing at me.

I
twisted around to see if someone had slid in behind me. But no one was there,
nothing was stuck to me.

“What’s
wrong?” Dex murmured, his eyes cutting between me and the photographer.

Everything.
“Nothing.”

The
laughter rose again. I held my breath.

Dex’s
arm slipped around my waist and pulled me close. He glanced down at me from the
side and winked, that radiant smile appearing on his face in response to the
photographer’s demand we all chant “Cheese!”

Pop
flash.

Pop
flash.

Pop
flash.

The
photographer’s head rose from his viewfinder, both hands waving us towards the
center.

“You
guys need to cram up a little better. You at the top, you’ve got too much
space. Push into your man and smile!”

I
leaned forward to look down the row and see who he was talking to. But he
growled and said “You! Gingernut! Shove in!”

Oh,
crap, he meant me. I huddled up to Dex and forced a beaming smile as Finn
muttered “Ginger Mutt, you mean.”

The
two girls tittered, my smile disappeared and the flash popped.

Dex
tapped Finn’s shoulder. “Not tonight, remember?”

Finn
glanced over his shoulder at Dex. I have no idea what had passed between them,
but Finn shrugged and turned back to the front in time for the next shot –
which I also missed for staring at Dex.

Remember
what?

Dex
didn’t meet my eye, so I was forced to pretend I hadn’t noticed, hug his arm
and get my lips curled up in time for the next picture.

“Okay,
everyone go nuts, this is your last shot! Ready? Three… two…”

Girls
shrieked and threw themselves into their dates arms. One guy did a handstand.
Arms flew, faces twisted and the photographer was about to take the shot.

Dex
looked at me and I did the only thing that came into my head: grabbed him by
the neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

Pop
flash.

And
from the gathered crowd a chorus of “Ooooo!” and wolf-whistles.

Dex
pulled back, smiling. I blushed, but didn’t care. A smattering of applause
rose.

It
wasn’t until I caught a look at Mark’s face – all tight and disapproving – my
own grin dissolved. Then that made me mad, so I waggled my eyebrows at Dex. His
eyes brightened. He pulled me into a dip and planted another kiss on.

The
applause turned into a roar.

As
Dex pulled me upright with a wink, Finn muttered something I didn’t catch. But
I didn’t care, because for once it felt like I’d done something right.

Fighting
a grin, I followed Dex down the stairs and along the hall. A couple guys
whistled and whooped at us. Dex chuckled and threw his arm over my shoulder as
we made it to the auditorium. “Nice move, Stellar.”

I
elbowed his side instead of responding, his nickname deflating me like a
pricked balloon. A few guys high fived Dex on our way out, and a couple girls
laughed and jostled me. I let myself smile. It felt good. Like I was a part of
something.

The
auditorium had been transformed, the cavernous space softened by white drapes
on the walls, scattered tables at every side, and flashing, colored lights.

As
we weaved between tables and bodies to a large, oval table at the back corner,
my good feelings vanished. Everyone laughed and joked with their friends. But
each girl I passed turned away to whisper to a friend, and every guy kept his
eyes fixed on whoever he spoke to.

No
one even wanted to acknowledge I was there.

The
only face I could have imagined smiling was Mark’s.

Unable
to help myself, I scanned the table until I found him, huddled in a corner with
Karyn. He stared at her while she talked.

I
sighed. I wouldn’t be able to rely on Mark’s help tonight. I really was in this
with Dex. 

Then
Karyn leaned into Mark’s arm and said something that made him smile. He nodded
and touched her hair. They looked so comfortable together.

Something
inside me trembled, then snapped.

He
wasn’t mine.

He
was never going to be mine.

As
a pop song started that was big on the radio right now, the entire crowd
trooped towards the dance floor. I grabbed Dex before he could move.

“What’s
up? Don’t you want to go dance?” He sounded irritated.

I
grabbed his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. Once he’d recovered from the
shock, his lips moved with mine. His arms became a prison, holding me tight.
His hands lingered over me and his breath sped up.

I
told myself this was what I’d wanted. This was what I’d been pining for. I
needed to forget about Mark and move on with Dex and stop wishing for what
could never be.

When
we came up for air, Dex shook his head and his eyes twinkled. “You look pretty
tonight, you know?” he said awkwardly. I grinned and shook my head. Dex’s arms
tightened. “No, I mean it. I’m glad it’s you. I’m glad I didn’t screw it up
last time.”

And
even though I kissed him again, all I could think was,
but you did.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I
drifted around the dance floor in the arms of a good-looking footballer. And no
one pointed or laughed. At least, not openly.

Dex
dropped his chin to smile at me as he squeezed my butt. He looked great. He’d
taken off his jacket and his shoulders definitely suited shirtsleeves. His tie
was already pulled loose to dangle on his chest. I had to hope the smile I
returned looked real. I was struggling not to walk out and go home.

Whenever
I’d envisioned this moment, I was in Mark’s arms. Our dancing was nothing more
than a prelude to more. We’d wrap ourselves together and only come up for air
when it was time to go.

Instead,
while the picture was right, I couldn’t find the joy. It was ridiculous. I was
dressed pretty, swaying in the middle of the dance floor, circled by Dex’s
arms, senses full of the sound of his quickened breath as it rushed past my
ear, his lips on my neck, his hands all over me. And even if the other eyes in
the room narrowed when they fell on me, so far they’d all moved
on
without a word.

I
had the most of the dance ahead of me, and plans for later. I should have been
ecstatic.

But
I was uncomfortable and awkward.

And
embarrassingly close to tears.

“You
thirsty?” Dex’s lips touched the skin under my ear, shocking me out of my
reverie.

“Yeah,
sure.” It had become my pat answer to everything.

Wanna
go to prom, Stacy? Yeah, sure.

Wanna
go to Finn’s beach house for a party? Yeah, sure.

Wanna
become the slut everyone already thinks you are?

Yeah…
sure…

We
broke apart, moving back to the table the crowd had claimed after the photos.
Dex tipped his head towards the drinks table. I just nodded and dropped into a
chair, grateful for a moment I didn’t have to fake being happy.

Watching
his flat, broad shoulders weave through the crowds, I wanted to slap myself.
Why couldn’t I get excited about this?

“Enjoying
yourself?”

The
voice was right, but the cold tone sank into my bones. I turned to find Mark
standing next to me, hair slicked back like some fifties gangster, jacket off,
tie already gone. He looked amazing.

Except,
he had his hands in his pockets and that little muscle at the back of his jaw
twitched.

“I’m
fine. What’s wrong with you?”

“We
need to talk.” Mark grabbed my arm and hauled me out of the chair, marching me
toward the door.

“What’s
your problem?” I yanked myself out of his grip, but kept pace with him.

His
jaw twitched again, but instead of answering, he stalked out the door into the bright
hallway, tipped his head to the left and led me into one of the darkened
corridors further down.

He
was taking me away from everyone else. Heat flushed my chest and pooled in my
belly. But he was supposed to do this with a dreamy, come-hither look on his
face. Not this hostile mask.

“Mark,
what’s–?”

We
pushed through the swinging fire doors and Mark whirled on me. “You told
someone, didn’t you?”

I
jerked back a step. “Told someone what?”

“About
the party. That the girls wouldn’t be alone.”

“What
are you talking about?”

Mark’s
eyes glittered in the dim light. He leaned in. “
Someone
told Terese’s
mom the truth. She’s picking Terese up right after the dance, and threatening
to tell the other parents the truth too. If they all find out, the party’s
ruined.”

I
frowned. “What’s that got to do with me?”

Mark
raked a hand through his hair. “Everyone in the group has been looking forward
to this forever. None of them has a reason to let the truth get out. So the
question is, who told?”

“And
you think it was
me
? You think I’d give up my first chance for a real
prom night for… for what?”

“You
don’t have to give yours up. Your mom doesn’t care, right?”

“That
isn’t… it doesn’t…” I sputtered. “I wouldn’t
do
that, Mark. Why would
you even think–?” I gasped. “Karyn said this, didn’t she!”

For
the first time, Mark looked uncertain. Then his hands closed to fists and he
fixed me with a frigid look. “It doesn’t matter who
said
it. It makes
sense. You’re the only one who’d want to ruin this for her. For Terese. For all
the girls.”

Except
Finn. Finn who’s jealous of Karyn sleeping with Mark. Finn who’d do anything
that suited him.

The
words were on the tip of my tongue. But the image of Finn, waving that letter
under my nose loomed large. I swallowed them and searched for something else to
say.

Mark
hadn’t looked away, was still determined to believe this lie about me. Why? He
was usually the only one who stuck up for me. But here he was, making
accusations, acting cold and angry.

This
was my future staring me in the face. When Mark turned. This is what it would
feel like.

I
wanted to grab his shirt and shake him, plead with him care more about me and
our relationship than whether or not he got his rocks off with Karyn. But as I
swayed toward him, he stepped back. His eyes held a heat I’d never seen before.
He was strung tighter than a spring ready to release.

What
was going on?

“Stace,
this wasn’t the time to get revenge, or whatever. You might not just ruin it
for Karyn and Terese. You might ruin it for all of us.”

“I
didn’t ruin anything!”

“Then
how did they find out?”

“I
don’t know!” Though I had a strong suspicion. “But I can’t believe you’d listen
to
her
over me!”

“Why
not?” Mark snapped. “You aren’t listening to me anymore. You’re gone all the
time and whenever I ask you where you were, you make up some excuse. You won’t
come anywhere when I invite you, but Dex snaps his fingers and suddenly you’re
there.” He muttered a curse. “You’ve changed, Stace. I don’t know what’s going
on with you anymore. So, yeah, maybe it makes sense you did this. Hell, I
remember what Dex was like before he left. Maybe you guys are in on this
together.”

“No!”
I snapped, shoving Mark in the chest so he stumbled back a step. “No! You don’t
get to treat me like they do! You’re my best friend. You’re the only one who…”
I closed my eyes, struggled for control. “No!”

Mark’s
mouth dropped open, his eyes wide. But I was beyond any kind of filter. The
fear of losing Mark and the anger at him for believing
Karyn
over me was
too great.

I
moved to shove him again, unable to find any other way to express how
pissed
off
I felt, but he caught my hands at the wrist, his face softening just
when I needed him to be angry so I could be angrier back.

“Stace–”

“No!
I didn’t do it, and you know it. I can’t believe you’re siding with them!”

“I’m
not
siding
, it just makes sense–”

“To
who
?!”

Our
eyes locked. Confusion flittered across his face. His grip on my wrists
tightened and for a second I thought he would pull me closer. But then he
swallowed and his gaze dropped to our hands.

“I
just can’t think of anyone else who’d want to,” he said softly. “It seemed
like… maybe you didn’t want me to…”

Oh,
gawd. He’d realized. He thought I’d done this so he couldn’t sleep with Karyn.

Heat
bloomed in my cheeks and I was grateful for the dark to hide my embarrassment.
Yanking my hands out of his grip I took a step back. Then another. The heat
spread to my chest and I was
mad.

And
terrified.

Mark’s
brow furrowed. “Stace–”

“I
didn’t do it. And even though I’d love to see all those girls get a taste of
their own medicine, I never would have done it because it would have hurt
you
,”
I admitted in a voice barely above a whisper.

Mark’s
face dropped in surprise. But then he swallowed. “I-I’m sorry… I just–”

I
fled. Because the truth was, even though I hadn’t told, there was a part of me
that hoped all their nights
were
ruined.

They
all deserved it.

Maybe
even Mark.