Bittersweet Ecstasy (29 page)

Their kisses and caresses increased their great yearning for each other. Soon, they parted to remove their garments and to lie down together on her sleeping mat. They touched and enticed until they could no
longer restrain their ardor, and they united their bodies to share a blazing passion. They climbed higher and higher until they soared in ecstasy’s domain, releasing their tensions and claiming blissful pleasure. They gazed into each other’s eyes and smiled.

“You are my love and without you I am incomplete,” he murmured.

Tashina embraced him possessively and replied, “As I with you.”

“There is something I must tell you,” he began reluctantly. “I was chosen as a dog-rope wearer,” he revealed just above a whisper.

Tashina paled and trembled. Her gaze sought his, but he would not look at her. She stared at him for a time, absorbing his perilous existence for the next year. “You must refuse it, my love,” she urged.

“I cannot. I am a member of the Dog Men Society. I am a Cheyenne warrior. I am the son of war chief Windrider. I am a man. I must wear the sash until Mother Earth renews our lands once more.”

Tears began to ease down her cheeks. “I cannot lose you.”

His gaze finally met hers. “Until we join, I swear my second mother Sky Eyes will not make a new sash for my people and I swear, after we are joined, my wife Tashina will not. It is our way, my love, and I must follow my destiny.”

“I am your destiny, as you are mine. I could not survive without you. You are my life and my true love.”

“Do not weep, my love, and do not ask me to refuse my duty. If I must worry over you, I cannot guard my life, for my thoughts will be of you. Trust me, Tashina, and wait for me.”

“Wait for you?” she echoed in confusion.

“We cannot join until my duty is done. If the Great Spirit calls me, I cannot leave my new wife Tashina and
the child she might be carrying in the care of others. We are young and these days are filled with evils. We will join when we reach our summer campgrounds again. It is best this way. We must not unite our bodies again, for a child could come from such a union. Until the danger is past, we must return to how it was before we yielded to love.”

“We cannot, Soul-of-Thunder. It is a long time until Mother Earth renews her face again, and much happiness will be lost. If the Great Spirit calls your name, I wish to have our child to carry our love forever. Is your love not as strong as mine? Can you be near me and not desire me? Can you remain in your camp and never come to me?”

“To do such things is harder than wearing the sash,” he admitted.

“Then we must join quickly and seize all the happiness we can.”

Soul-of-Thunder looked at her and could not bear the thought of another man joining her if he was slain, another man raising his child. Yet, he felt it would be harder for her to accept the death of a husband and the father of her child than it would to accept the death of a twice lover. “I must think and do what is best for you, my love.”

“What you demand is not best,” she argued frantically.

“I will think again on this matter, for my head is not clear when I am with you. I do not think I could bear to see your face each time before I ride out to endanger my life in battle,” he told her, knowing he must leave the battlefield last each time, and a great war was near.

“Do you think it will be easier for us if we are separated, if I must live in dread of each sun, not knowing if you are alive? How can your head be clear knowing I have such fears and worries?”

“It is an honor to be chosen, Tashina. It is only one span of seasons.” He tenderly caressed her cheek, then hugged her against him.

“A span of one seasons and an honor which can take you from me forever, as my mother and grandparents were taken from me.”

“Your heart is filled with pain and you do not think as I do.”

“If we must sacrifice our life together for a span of seasons for you to fulfill your duty, then I will never think as you do. Why can you not become a member of our tribe after my father becomes chief? Then, we can join. We can be happy and safe, and share a mat each moon. Why must it be the female who leaves her people?”

“It is our way, my love. Have you forgotten, Sun Cloud is to become chief? My father told me this long ago.”

“My father and many others say he will not be voted chief. Sun Cloud is too young and he does not have my father’s prowess and wisdom.”

“It will not be so, Tashina. Bright Arrow sacrificed his right to follow his father long ago when he married a white girl and was banished.”

“I am worse than a white girl, Soul-of-Thunder; I am a half-breed. If we join, you will be banished and you will lose your right to be a sash wearer. If you love me, do this for us,” she implored him.

“My people’s laws and ways are not the same as those of the Oglalas. My father’s third wife Sky Eyes is white, and my people love and respect her. They do not call their children half-breeds, for they are from the seeds of Windrider, a great Cheyenne warrior and leader, and they grew inside the white shaman who saved our tribe from certain death. I do not care if your blood is half-white or all white, I love you. But I am not
Bright Arrow, and I cannot betray my duty and tribe.”

Tashina was disturbed by his words. “My father did not betray his people and duty. His people turned against him and sent him away.”

“No, my love,” he debated softly. “Bright Arrow was given a choice, and he chose your mother over his rank, his duty, and his tribe.”

“You would not risk all for your love, Soul-ofThunder?”

He knew he was trapped by her words. “I love you with all my heart and I wish you to be a part of my Lifecircle, but I could not become less than what I am to claim you and your love. It would destroy me, as it nearly destroyed your father. Have you forgotten?”

“I have not forgotten, for it is how we met. And I have not forgotten the reason he lost all, lives no more. He became a greater warrior for his troubles, and my people know this. He will be chief.”

Soul-of-Thunder looked worried. He realized, if there was a conflict over the chief’s bonnet, much pain and dissension would occur. Bright Arrow was a powerful warrior, but his friend Sun Cloud would make the best chief. For now, he would allow the matter to rest.

“It will be many days before I can return to see you, Tashina. We must not spend this short time fighting with words.”

Tashina decided there was one way to show him how powerful their love was, so she replied, “No, we must spend it making love, and pray it will not be for the last time.” She pulled his lips to hers, and soon drove all thoughts from his mind, except those of her.

Silver Hawk and Sun Cloud joined the group of men who were gathering around Chief Medicine Bear’s
tepee. The chief informed them of news which implied trouble and peril: two of his three sons—Magic Hail and Finds Water—had gone hunting yesterday, and they had not returned to camp. Early this morning, women gathering firewood had found their bloodspattered horses, roaming and grazing not far from camp. Alarmed, Medicine Bear was forming a party to look for them.

Something told Sun Cloud to accompany the band on its search. The horses’ tracks were traced to where two bodies lay dead on the rocky bank near a wide stream which was four miles from camp. Magic Hail and Finds Water had been shot with arrows, which no longer protruded from their chests and throats, striking Sun Cloud as very odd. Adding to his suspicion was the discovery that no other track or clue could be found near the slain warriors. A killer had appeared, carried out his evil task, concealed his trail, and then vanished. The way the bodies had fallen, neither had defended himself, suggesting a surprise attack. Or, Sun Cloud reasoned skeptically, the approach of one who was not a stranger to them. The only clues which suggested this dark deed was done by a foe, instead of a traitor, were their missing scalplocks—a one-inch circle of hair and scalp which was taken skillfully and then displayed on the victor’s clothing, possessions, or horse: a far different manner from what the white man called, and the way he practiced, scalping. Still, the missing scalplocks could be a trick to delude them, and they could have been discarded or buried nearby.

Chief Medicine Bear and his remaining son, Three Feathers, who was very ill and weak this morning, wailed in grief; they drew their knives and sliced mourning marks across their arms and stomachs. The crimson liquid looked dark as it seeped from the
wounds and rolled down reddish brown flesh to soak into tanned buckskins.

Silver Hawk drew his knife and cut two lines across one arm. Then he lifted his bloody knife skyward and declared, “The next blood on our knives must be that of the killers of our brothers. Look again, my friends; surely there is a track or clue somewhere to follow.”

Everyone searched again, but nothing could be found. Sun Cloud furtively watched Silver Hawk during this episode which put the clever warrior only two steps from the Blackfeet chiefs bonnet. If anything happened to Three Feathers, Medicine Bear should guard his back well!

The somber group transported the bodies to camp. Before they reached it, Three Feathers was doubled over with agonizing pains in his stomach and was swaying precariously on his mount. He was helped down and into the chiefs tepee. The shaman, Jumping Rabbit, was summoned. While War Chief Strikes Fire appointed another band to search the murder area again, the shaman tried to save the life of Three Feathers, and failed, removing another obstacle for Silver Hawk.

Chief Medicine Bear was filled with anguish at having lost his three sons within two days. Singing Wind, Redbird, Deer Eyes, and Silver Hawk tried to comfort him. “We are your children, our father. Do not be sad. We will care for you and love you,” Deer Eyes told him.

Sun Cloud glanced at the woman with a twisted foot and partially paralyzed face. She had been the shaman’s helper since age sixteen when her father Chief Brave Bear had been slain in battle. She was such a gentle and loving female, who seemed content in life to help others. He glanced at her older sister Redbird, who also lived with the shaman, and who had slept
upon the shaman’s mats without marriage or children since she was twenty-one. He did not know why Redbird refused to become the shaman’s second wife or to join another warrior, for she was a pretty female, a smart and strong one. Redbird seemed satisfied to be the shaman’s and his wife’s helper, and they seemed delighted to allow the female’s almost slavish assistance. From what he had heard, the shaman’s wife did not even mind Redbird sharing her husband’s mat. If tales could be trusted, the wife was overjoyed to have Redbird take that task from her body, as well as others.

Sun Cloud looked at Singing Wind, who was careful to keep away from him. As for Silver Hawk, the eye and ear could detect nothing suspicious in his manner, but Sun Cloud had a gut feeling that Medicine Bear’s three sons were dead because of his love’s brother. If only Brave Bear and Chela had lived, their four children would be different.

The small group went outside where most of the tribe was awaiting news of the chiefs remaining heir. Medicine Bear clasped arms with Silver Hawk and announced sadly, “Three Feathers is dead, and I claim Silver Hawk as my new son. When Medicine Bear walks with the Great Spirit, it is my desire for the son of Brave Bear to become chief of the Blackfeet. Come, we must lay my sons to rest.”

Just before entering Silver Hawk’s tepee to retrieve his belongings to head home, Sun Cloud overheard a curious and intriguing statement from Jumping Rabbit: “It was the will of
Napi
for Medicine Bear to select you as his son and our future chief.
Napi
knew of this evil which would strike our chief and his sons, and He warned you. The visionquest you shared with Bright Arrow six moons ago is coming to pass. You will soon be a great chief, as will he.”

Sun Cloud went to fetch his horse, then he would
return to Silver Hawk’s tepee for his things. He was puzzled by his brother’s concealment of such a vision, and he was worried over Silver Hawk’s helping it to come true. He must return home to hunt for those in need and to help Tashina complete the gifts for Gray Eagle and Shalee, to be given to White Arrow and his wife Pretty Woman. Too, he needed to do some serious thinking. Unable to locate Singing Wind to reason with her and to tell her goodbye, Sun Cloud mounted and rode from the camp.

Singing Wind leaned against the tree behind which she had been hiding from Sun Cloud. His slip of the tongue and his grim suspicions kept running through her mind, more so today with the sudden and mysterious deaths of all three of Medicine Bear’s sons and her brother’s selection as the next chief. Many times, Silver Hawk had implied his hatred and jealousy of Sun Cloud, and he wanted her to hate and mistrust her secret love. Lately, her brother had been pushing her rapidly and persistently toward Bright Arrow, saying the Oglala warrior would be chief
soon,
“when Gray Eagle rides the Ghost Trail,” which had come to pass unexpectedly in a curious ambush which had Sun Cloud thinking wildly. She recalled parts of her quarrel with Silver Hawk not long ago: “I must do all to help him obtain his rightful place. Think how your joining to Bright Arrow will prick Sun Cloud…. You must think and decide
quickly.”
She had noticed Sun Cloud furtively watching her brother that day, and she had tingled with alarm. She was angry with herself for allowing Sun Cloud’s doubts and charges to linger in her mind and to torment her. She scolded herself for even imagining that her brother, or any Blackfeet, could be that evil and clever.

As Jumping Rabbit and her brother headed for the chiefs tepee, the expression on Silver Hawk’s face as he
trailed the shaman seized her attention and curiosity. Most had already gone to the burial area, to await the ceremonial chief and tribal chief, but the two who had entered Medicine Bear’s tepee did not appear an escort to the death scaffolds. Suddenly she realized she had been edging stealthily toward the chiefs tepee. Making sure to take the side where the sun would not cast her revealing shadow on the skins, she listened as the shaman and Silver Hawk revealed the recent visionquest with Bright Arrow…