Bittersweet Ecstasy (27 page)

When the warriors returned from their successful hunt and were passing out the game, many related the startling behavior of Sun Cloud to Bright Arrow and the other hunters. Mind-who-Roams joined the group and explained the matter to them, but many were dismayed.

Bright Arrow went to his tepee and found his brother asleep. He stood over Sun Cloud, watching him and thinking. He wondered why his father had told Sun Cloud to carry out this difficult task, rather than him. Recalling the displeasure of many of their people, he decided that had been Gray Eagle’s motive: to prevent the tribe from being angry with him. Even if this unusual request pained him and others deeply, he understood his father’s command. Soon, when Gray Eagle’s and Shalee’s bodies were claimed by the elements, there would be nothing left of them. No, he quickly corrected himself, there would be the legends they had created and left behind; they would live forever.

It was late afternoon when Sun Cloud awakened. He found Bright Arrow sitting on his mat near his tepee entrance, working on his weapons. When he sighed heavily and stretched to loosen stiff muscles, Bright Arrow turned and gazed at him, and Sun Cloud noticed something in that look which bewildered him, something distant and secretive which had never been present in his brother’s eyes before.

“They have told you of our father’s wishes?” he hinted.

“You have done as our chief and father commanded, as it should be. They are not dead, Sun Cloud; their spirits live all around us and within us, and they will guide us in the troubled days ahead.”

“It is true, my brother, but the doing was hard,” he confessed.

“Father knew this, and he knew you would obey. It is good. I leave with the next sun to bring my daughter home. Watch over our people and protect them. Hunt for those in need.”

“When you lost Wahea, how long did the pain and loneliness live within you?” Sun Cloud asked unexpectedly.

Bright Arrow’s head lowered while he grieved anew for his lost love. Finally, he replied, “Such feelings have not given me release. Many tell me, they will pass after many moons. Many say, it takes new happiness to drive away the old pains.”

“Then we must seek new happiness and peace.”

“First, we must seek to avenge our father and people, and to destroy our white foes. We will make plans when the council meets after three moons. There is much to do before we ride against our foes.”

“Yes, my brother, there is much to do,” Sun Cloud concurred. He did not know the thoughts and feelings which were running through his brother’s mind and body, for he assumed Bright Arrow had accepted their ranks long ago and would follow him as the new chief. It was sad to recall that his brother had sacrificed everything for a woman whom he no longer possessed, and he did not wish to refresh that shame.

Bright Arrow started to have a serious talk with his brother about the chief’s bonnet, but decided this was not the time. Perhaps Sun Cloud still believed he would
become the next chief, and he did not want to distress him further when he was consumed with grief. It was not good or easy to lose so much in such a short time span.

That next morning, Bright Arrow, Thunder Spirit, and Flaming Star rode out to bring Little Feet back to her family and people. Sun Cloud knew it would be late the next day before they reached home. It was good, he felt, that Bright Arrow had something to do to fill his thoughts and time. Determined to keep himself occupied, Sun Cloud gathered a small band and went hunting for fresh game.

When they returned, he found Singing Wind in the tepee of Bright Arrow. She looked up at him and waited for him to speak, for she knew how heavy his heart must be. Tashina had told her of the happenings in the camp since his parents’ deaths. She had planned to spend the night with Tashina and Bright Arrow, but that was not wise with Sun Cloud living in their tepee.

“I came to mourn for my second mother and father. I did not know Bright Arrow would be away,” she said for some inexplicable reason, just to make conversation in the quiet and suddenly small tepee.

“Where are the others?” Sun Cloud inquired, not wishing to see her brother today, but assuming he could not avoid it.

“I came alone,” she responded softly.

Sun Cloud frowned. “I do not know which grows larger in you, Singing Wind, bravery or foolishness. Our foes have declared war again.”

She had needed to see him, for it had been such a long time and she had been unable to forget their last encounter. She wanted to comfort him. Now that he was alone, surely he would be seeking a mate soon. She wanted to remind him she was alive and available!

“There is no danger, Sun Cloud. The soldiers will not
attack while they recover from their stunning defeat.”

“You are as clever and smart as you are brave and rash.” Suddenly he had the overpowering urge to sweep her into his arms and forget all of his anguish. Her lips called out to him to kiss them. Her expression entreated him to seize her and to make passionate love to her. He wanted to reach out his hand and run his fingers through her silky black hair. He needed to kiss those arresting eyes closed so they would stop enchanting him. He yearned to feel her warm flesh pressed against his. He could not understand where he found the strength and will to remain at this short distance from her, for she made him feel as weak and trembly as a newborn. “I am glad you came, for your beauty brings sunshine to the darkness of my heart. But it was still foolish, for our enemies cannot be trusted to behave as we believe.”

Singing Wind warmed at the sight of a tiny smile and at hearing his voice soften noticeably. “That is not a new trait for me, Sun Cloud, for you have scolded me for it for many seasons.”

“Then why do you keep it?” he teased, moving a little closer.

Singing Wind laughed. “Because it annoys you and makes you notice me,” she replied without thinking, for his nearness was destroying her poise and control. She had even forgotten about his parents, for their deaths did not seem real to her, nor to him yet.

He replied huskily, “You need no tricks to seize my eye, for you wickedly capture it each time you are near.”

“As quickly as I capture your anger and annoyance?” she probed.

Before he could respond or move any closer, Tashina returned with their food, for several of the women had joined forces to cook meals to share with those in need.
Reflecting on her grandmother, Tashina did not catch the currents which were passing between Singing Wind and Sun Cloud. She handed her uncle his food and placed the other container on the rocks which surrounded her campfire.

The food smelled delicious, and Sun Cloud realized his hunger. He devoured his meal as slowly as possible, but without delay so the women could eat. When he was finished, he thanked Tashina and left so the females could eat and talk privately, as women loved to do.

Singing Wind fretted over the way Sun Cloud had seemingly forgotten her presence after Tashina’s arrival. She could not help but wonder if he had only been teasing her again. When he did not return for two hours, she had to leave to reach her camp before dark.

“You must not ride out alone, Singing Wind. Stay with us until the sun returns. Little Feet will desire to see her old friend, and so will her father,” Tashina remarked with a secretive smile, as her father had mentioned this female too many times lately not to have an attraction for her. Besides, if she wanted to leave soon to join her love, she needed to help her father find a good mate, like Singing Wind.

Singing Wind’s mind retorted,
Stay with us until Sun Cloud returns.
No, she could not linger and appear to be chasing him! She had made the first move; now, it was up to him to make the next one. “I will be home safely before the night arrives. I do not wish others to worry. I did not tell them I was riding here. I will return in a few suns to visit you and Little Feet. Tell her my heart feels sorrow over her loss.”

Tashina related the news that Thunder Spirit had already spoken to her father for the hand of Little Feet in joining, and she revealed the secret love of each for the other.

Singing Wind felt a rush of envy. Her friend had just lost one man and now she was obtaining another, when she could not seem to catch just one. Perhaps it was because she was pursuing the wrong man! “Tell Bright Arrow I will be eager to see him again. I am glad the life has returned to him, and I pray this new sorrow does not destroy it once more,” she told Tashina in a softened voice which vexed and drove away the man who had been about to join them again.

Sun Cloud paced unnaturally by the river, then returned to his brother’s tepee. Singing Wind had left. “I will ride after her and take her home. She challenges danger too eagerly. I will speak with Medicine Bear, then return with the new day.”

That suited Tashina just fine, for she rarely had privacy, and this was a time when she needed it.

It took Sun Cloud over two hours to catch the bedeviling maiden, for she was riding swiftly to feel the wind racing through her hair and over on her skin. When she saw him, she slowed her pace. He scowled at her again, but she taunted, “See, the trick works each time. You are angry with me, and I have done nothing wrong, as usual.”

He eyed her tangled hair which made her appear a wild beauty. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were shiny with excitement. Her buckskin dress did not conceal her appealing figure, and he wanted to explore it, leisurely. He had to admit she was an expert rider, and she could defend herself against even odds. “You were wrong to leave before I could offer to ride with you.”

She was aware of the stimulating way he was studying her, as he had done earlier. But a frown still lined his handsome face. “To hear you scold me all the way to my camp? Or to protect me?”

Sun Cloud narrowed his eyes in frustration. “My
heart and head are not in the mood for battling words with you, Singing Wind. I wish only to see you reach home safely. I will remain in your camp till morning. I will not scold you again, if you behave.”

“It will be difficult, Sun Cloud, for good behavior is unknown to me. Perhaps it is because I had no mother and father to—” She halted instantly as she caught her words and their effect on Sun Cloud. “Forgive me. I did not mean to cause you fresh pain. It was a silly joke.”

Sun Cloud halted and dismounted, and she did the same. He walked to where thick grass grew in abundance beneath several trees which seemingly stood as guards near a lovely, but very small, pond and he leaned dejectedly against one. “I cannot believe they are gone, even though I have visited their death scaffolds. How can I be whole again until I have avenged their deaths? Tashina told me Mother died soon after Father, for Father’s spirit called to her. Even in death they could not be parted. The bluecoats are responsible for both losses.”

The Blackfeet princess came to stand beside him, where he was facing the water and staring at it. He seemed so vulnerable and human today, so reachable. “The bond between Gray Eagle and Princess Shalee was known to all. It is good she was not left to suffer without him, and it is good she is at his side in the afterlife. I do not remember my parents, but I have loved Gray Eagle and Shalee as much as I would have loved my mother and father if I had known them. I do not mean to annoy you when you are tormented by such losses. I will behave.”

Sun Cloud turned, placing his back against the trunk, and gazed at her, and his heart rate increased steadily. He looked at how her nose came to a pretty, round point and how it seemed tempted to turn up
slightly on the end. She was only seven inches below his six-foot-two height, making her a touch taller than most females. But those few inches gave her a longer and leaner middle, which he had viewed by accident while she was swimming, and legs as sleek as a matchless steed’s; Unlike so many females after passing twenty winters, no fullness had been added to her body; it had remained slender and shapely. He recalled how firm her breasts were and how dark the fuzzy place was between her thighs. As she had risen from the water that day, he had been stunned motionless by her beauty, and he had wondered suddenly why he had been resisting her magic and allure.

Yet, Singing Wind had more than exceptional looks and a passion-stirring body; she had strength and courage, more than a physical supply. She had emotional courage and stamina, for she was willing to accept the jests of others to await her true destiny. Most females joined soon after entering their womanhood, to prove their value and appeal to themselves and to others, he decided, having overheard many girlish talks about men and love and unions. Many were too eager to rush into a joining, as if it magically settled all things for them. Many thought they would have more freedom once they left their parents’ tepees. Many were eager to taste passion’s forbidden fruits.

Sun Cloud had not taunted her or replied. It was as if he were content to watch her and study her. Singing Wind was acutely aware of their heady solitude and of Sun Cloud’s intense scrutiny and warring emotions. She had witnessed enough bursts of desire to recognize the signs: rapid and deep respiration—which sometimes flared the nostrils like a winded stallion’s after a swift race—glazed eyes, tensed body, parted lips— which many licked frequently, either for relieving moisture or bold enticement—perspiration above the
mouth, and sometimes a flushing of the cheeks, as if the body were suddenly ablaze.

At this moment, she could tell that Sun Cloud was highly aware of her as a woman and was affected by it, but there was something different in his desire. His respiration was deep, but slower and quieter than in her past observations. His body was held in relaxed control, a quality of his warrior training and practice. His lips were slightly parted, but his teeth appeared to be lightly gripping the lower one near the left corner, and she could see those white teeth which were unstained and unbroken. But the most noticeable difference was in his gaze. It had a compelling power and tenderness which others had lacked. At last, she had discovered the difference between desire and lust.

Her hand reached out to graze his strong jawline, for she could not resist the impulse to touch his flesh. Her fingers trailed down his neck and across his chest, her senses consuming and admiring the soft hardness of his torso. He was leaner than most warriors, but he was strong and agile. His flat stomach was revealed by the way his rib cage ended prominently and sank in slightly. Except for where his muscles rose or tapered off, his skin was stretched snugly over his welldeveloped and well-toned frame, which was a rich and dark golden brown. His hair was the color of the darkest night, and he rarely wore it braided. His nose and lips were full, but not overly large. His brows were dark and well shaped, and his nearly black eyes were enslaving. He looked so much like his father; yet he was different.