Authors: Mary Clay
Tags: #caper, #cozy, #daffodils, #divorced women, #humor fiction, #mystery, #mystery humor, #southern humor, #womens fiction
Spike, who was outclassed by at least four
hundred pounds of muscle in comparison to his one-eighty of flab,
broke the impasse. “Red, I need a drink.” He literally dragged her
away.
“A lot of stupid people in the world. A
sorry case that has to pump themselves by putting others down,”
Sidney said. “Hope you don’t mind my intervention. I bristle at
prejudice. Encountered my share in this lifetime.”
Intervention. This lifetime.
Sidney
was well educated, had a great manicure, nice manners, and might
even believe in reincarnation. No run-of-the-mill biker, I
thought.
“We really appreciate it,” Ruthie said,
smiling up at Sidney and his friend.
“Absolutely. Thanks,” Penny Sue said, her
eyes following Red’s form through the crowd. “The nerve of that
woman!” She turned to us with outstretched arms. “Soap operas? I
haven’t seen one since college. Fake! I have a Harley Fat Boy,
don’t I?” She did the Vanna White hand sweep. “This is an authentic
Harley outfit, isn’t it?” She raised her foot. “These are Harley
boots. See the red flames?”
Sidney and his friend said, “Nice.”
“So, who’s the fake?” she rattled on. “Me or
Ms. Exhibitionist?”
The men started to back away. “We have to
meet someone about a bike.” Sidney dipped his chin. “You ladies
have a nice evening.”
The two men could not get away fast enough.
“Thanks, again,” I called as they left.
Penny Sue! Her self-absorption was downright
obnoxious. Ruthie said she couldn’t help it, because of strange
aspect as well as being a Leo. “Leo is ruled by the Sun. So, Leo
natives think everything revolves around them, like the planets
revolve around our Sun.”
Well, they need to consider someone else
sometimes. Since I was an Aquarius, ruled by Uranus, my ego was on
the outer edges of the solar system. And, Ruthie—a Pisces, ruled by
Neptune—was even farther out. Which, I guess, explained why we
followed Penny Sue like sheep. Most of the time, it was simply too
exhausting to oppose her. But this time she’d gone too far.
I put my hands on my hips. “Penny Sue, you
were rude to Sidney and his friend. They stuck their necks out to
help us, and you hardly thanked them.”
“I did so.”
“Yeah, a weak thanks followed by a litany of
your ego affronts. Really, you need to be more sensitive.” There,
I’d said it. I hoped her hormones were in sufficient balance that
she didn’t pull out the .38 and shoot me. Still, I’d had my fill of
walking on eggshells and salving her ego. She needed to buck up,
act like an adult, and not a spoiled child.
Penny Sue regarded me like I’d slapped her
in the face. Then, she put her hands over her eyes and started to
cry. “You’re right—I’ve been impossible. I don’t know why, but I
feel so strange. One minute I’m my old self, the next I’m a bundle
of doubts and inhibitions.” She looked up, mascara streaming down
her cheeks.
I wiped the makeup from her cheek, the same
way I’d wiped chocolate from my kids’ faces. Heavens, her hormones
were definitely in the tank. She needed help, and fast!
* * *
I could see
Ted at the far end of the
Pub’s front bar. We were late. It had taken a lot of wiggling and
nudging to get through the restaurant. I waved and caught his eye.
He visibly relaxed.
Penny Sue took Ruthie and me both by the
shoulder and gave us a serious look. “No mention of Rich, right?
This is our secret for now. Promise? Cross your heart and hope to
die, stick a needle in your eye?”
Gawd, she didn’t have to resort to childish
prattle. “Yes, I promise.”
“Me, too. For now,” Ruthie said.
We paused to plot our course through the
room. A circuitous route around the tables seemed the best bet.
Several minutes, innumerable jostles, and a bunch of sorry’s later
we reached Ted. He smiled invitingly as we wedged through the last
group of partiers.
“Geez,” Penny Sue said, straightening her
bustier that was turned half around, exposing a lot of skin even
for her. “Where did these people come from? All of New Smyrna must
be here.”
Ted flashed an easy grin. “Half a million
people from around the world are in the area, and the Pub is one of
the most popular spots.” He held up his mug of cola. “Can I get you
something? Water, soda? Sorry, that’s the limit of my orders since
I’m on duty.” Ted inclined his head to a man standing behind the
bar. I recognized the guy as the manager who’d waited on us
before.
“What’ll it be?” the man asked, as he wiped
the counter. Penny Sue, still shaky from her encounter with Red,
ordered Jack and Coke. Realizing one of us had to drive, Ruthie and
I went with diet sodas. The drinks arrived in a matter of
seconds.
“That manager is awfully nice. We met him
the last time we were here.”
Ted regarded me with amusement. “Manager?
That’s not the manager, he’s Gilly, the owner.”
Gilly, as in Gilly’s Pub 44? My cheeks
flamed. I’d made a snide remark to him about our waitress on our
last visit. If I’d known he was the owner, I’d kept my big mouth
shut. But how was I to know? In a place this big, who expected the
owner to wait on customers, other than a few regulars? Hopefully,
he didn’t recognize me. I turned my back to him and sipped my soft
drink.
“What do you think of Bike Week?” Ted asked
lightly, though I suspected he was working up to something big.
“Quite a melting pot,” Ruthie said.
“Ruthie’s being coy. Two good-looking men
have already flirted with her.”
“Excellent. What about you, Penny Sue?” I
noticed he pointedly didn’t ask me. Was he afraid of the
answer?
Penny Sue gulped her cocktail. “The only
thing I’ve encountered is a rude, redheaded exhibitionist.”
“The woman who did the striptease?”
“Yeah, flowers painted on her boobs.”
“Tattoos,” Ted corrected.
“Well, she’s a crude, rude ... person.”
“I thought you felt sorry for her deprived
childhood,” I said.
“I did before she started mouthing off.”
Ted appeared surprised. “What did she
say?”
“That I was a rich fake in my fancy clothes.
The nerve!” She waved her cup expansively. “I ask you, what’s wrong
with this outfit? It’s all Harley. Half the people in this place
are wearing Harley duds.”
Few people had on so much of it. One or two
pieces, maybe, but a whole outfit? I hadn’t noticed anyone with a
Harley emblem on every item of clothing. As far as I knew, Penny
Sue might even be wearing her Harley thong underwear.
“Is that all she said?” Ted asked. His tone
was very serious.
“Yeah, what’s wrong? Do you know her?”
“Her name’s Red, and she hangs out with a
rough crowd. A very rough crowd.”
The emphasis on
very
was
unmistakable. I felt a sinking sensation. Ruthie bit her
fingernail.
“I don’t know how you and she happened to
meet but, for the future, I’d avoid her at all costs. A minor
disagreement with her could escalate quickly.” He looked at Penny
Sue’s belt pouch. “Is your gun in there?”
She eyed him defiantly. “It’s holstered.
Perfectly legal.”
He gave her a hard look. “Don’t let it give
you a false sense of security. There are people here who would
laugh at a .38. And, don’t you dare touch it if you’ve been
drinking.” He frowned at her cup. She put it on the counter as if
it had suddenly developed cooties.
A burly guy, worming his way to the bar,
knocked me against Ted. He caught my hand to steady my soda. His
hand lingered, longer than necessary.
Uh oh.
“I hear y’all had an unfortunate experience
the other night. Something about a dead body next to Penny Sue’s
car and bullet hole in her license plate.”
I nodded meekly.
Ted put on his police face for Penny Sue.
“Your boyfriend, Rich, is implicated. He was seen with the dead man
and Red’s boyfriend the day before.”
“Red’s hooked up with Vulture?” Ruthie
blurted.
“What do you know about Vulture?” Ted shot
back.
“Not much, only that he’s a bad guy. Rumored
to be in a gang or cult of some kind.”
“He’s not just in a gang, he’s the leader of
the gang, and Red is one of his girlfriends.”
“She was flirting with every man she could
find,” Penny Sue said.
Ted took a swallow of his cola. “I didn’t
say she was his only girlfriend, just one of them. He has a whole
stable. These gang things tend to be communal. Actually, it’s often
the women who recruit new members through sexual favors.”
I thought of Red’s raunchy gyrations and
boob-rubbing come-on to Rich. Is that what she was doing,
recruiting him for the gang? But Rich told Penny Sue that Vulture
and the dead man were old friends. Was Rich already a member of the
group? I didn’t like this. Too many loose ends. Too many things
didn’t fit.
Ted checked his watch. “Ladies, I have to
go. Break time’s over.” He put down his mug and regarded us
soberly. “I encouraged you to go to Bike Week for the experience,
but that was before the murder and Penny Sue’s run-in with Red.
Under the circumstances, I think you should stay away. Chances are
nothing else would happen, yet you seem to be magnets for trouble
and dead bodies ...”
Hmm-m, that’s what Woody said.
“... I hope you’ll reconsider and lay on the
beach or go to Disney. Things have taken a bad turn, and I don’t
want you involved ” He winked at me. “Gotta go.” He stood, focusing
on Penny Sue. “I like you all and would be very upset if anything
happened to you.” Then he strode away.
I watched his muscular shoulders move
through the room. Perhaps it was his uniform or air of confidence,
whatever, the crowd parted before him. We’d had to claw, scrape,
and squeeze. He simply strode ahead, unimpeded. Was it like that
with the rest of his life? Surely not. I knew he had problems with
his ex-wife and children. Still, what a joy it must be to
walk—march—unopposed, to your own drummer. What did he have that I
didn’t? Male, sure. It was a male dominated world, even today,
although changing fast, according to Ruthie, with the new
generation of androgynous kids. No, I think the critical factor was
the confidence Ted exuded. Confidence, a deep certainty that your
goals would be met not matter what. Geez, it sounded like Ruthie’s
New Age dictum, “You create your only reality” or Penny Sue’s “What
Man can conceive, Man could achieve.” I’d have to give all of that
a little more thought.
Ruthie reached into her pocket and dropped a
twenty on the counter. “I’ve had enough for one night. Let’s go
home and think this through. I don’t like that stuff about Red.
And, if she’s really a right wing extremist, Sidney’s help—bless
his heart—may have added another complication.”
Even Penny Sue hadn’t thought of that one.
We thanked Bill and headed out the front door. The steady rumble of
motorcycles was deafening. We passed Ted in the crosswalk and he
was clearly pleased we’d taken his advice. He gave us all an
affectionate pat on the shoulder. My pat gave me a chill. I’d have
to think about that later, too.
Unlike the hoard streaming out of Publix and
into the Pub before, the shopping center was relatively calm. The
stores were closed, so the only activity was a trickle of primarily
middle-aged, out-of-shape partiers (like us) who’d had enough. We
walked in silence to the Mercedes that stood out as the only car in
front of the grocery store.
“Maybe one of you should drive,” Penny Sue
said contritely. Ted’s lecture had clearly hit home. She retrieved
the keys from her pouch belt and hit the trunk release when we were
in sight of the car. We took our purses from the trunk, then Penny
handed the keys to me and lowered the lid.
“Ah-h,” Ruthie choked out, pointing at the
car.
“Shit!” Penny Sue shouted.
My heart did a flip. “What?!”
I followed Ruthie’s finger. The center of
the second P in the PSP vanity plate was shot out! Suddenly feeling
light-headed, I backed away. “How could this happen in the middle
of a well-lighted parking lot? For godssakes, police were on the
street directing traffic. Wouldn’t they have heard something?”
“Well, someone did, and they didn’t!” Penny
Sue stomped—forget the whole Southern Belle charade, she was
hoofing it, big time—back toward the crosswalk and Ted. A convoy of
motorcycles rumbled by at that moment. The sound was deafening,
which explained how a gunshot could go undetected.
Penny Sue outlined what had happened. Ted
listened sympathetically, then shrugged. “This is the city, not my
jurisdiction. You need to report it, but no one’s going to do
anything about simple vandalism tonight. Resources are stretched
thin. Go home and I’ll come over as soon as my shift ends at
midnight.”
“Simple vandalism?” Penny Sue snapped.
“Someone took a potshot at my Mercedes!”
* * *
The message light on the answering machine
was blinking when we got home. What now? The first message was from
Ann. “Daddy called. He’s coming to Europe on business next month.
Isn’t that great? That would be the perfect time for y’all to meet
Patrick. Think you can make it?” So much for stalling the
engagement to give Ann time to come to her senses. Zack! He always
managed to screw things up, even when he wasn’t trying.
The second call was from Frannie May. Could
we make it for dinner tomorrow night? Penny Sue and Ruthie needed
to taste real Italian food. I checked my watch, quarter to twelve.
Too late to return the call.
“Decaf or diet soda?” Ruthie asked, holding
up a coffeepot in one hand and a soft drink in the other.
“Decaf. Make a whole pot. I’m sure Ted will
want some, too.” I peered around. “Where’s Penny Sue?”
“In her room, I think.”
I lowered my voice. “Do you think she’s
acting funny? All this crying and carrying on, she’s completely
discombobulated. I think we should encourage her to call her doctor
in Atlanta.”