Beyond Tantra: Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex (25 page)

Is there any way to tell if you’ve managed to refine your Sexual Qi other than by how excited you get? What Mieke and I have both observed is that we can see the results the next day after a session where we both felt that the Sexual Qi was flowing well and where we consciously worked on Valley Orgasms. We’ve noticed that we are more alert, emotionally balanced and can even get more work done.

This happens so regularly and with such consistency that we are confident that there is a clear cause and effect in operation. The fact that Mieke healed herself by directing refined Sexual Qi to her reproductive system is, for us, the real ‘proof of the pudding’.

So that’s it in a nutshell. Generate / relax / circulate / direct Sexual Qi and then repeat. Each cycle refines and increases the Sexual Qi as you make your way up the orgasmic energy spiral.

Mieke and Stephan’s Story

For the first twenty years of our relationship we made love quite a lot (with four lovely children as the result!). We never talked much about our sex-life though, and we certainly never spoke while we were making love. Mieke felt that love-making was an ‘inner experience’ and that talking would be a distraction, and I thought that the whole point of the exercise was to get so excited that words would be superfluous. To top it off, we never did make much noise for fear of waking the children. So love-making tended to be a quiet affair.

When we started working on the Valley Orgasm technique we soon realized that we
had
to talk. Hand signals were just not going to do the trick when it came to the split-second timing needed to judge when to pull back from ‘the point of no return’. I also found it worked much better to simply ask Mieke what was nice or what she wanted, just like I had learned to do during the Yoni massage. So, slowly but surely, we discovered that it was OK to talk during love-making and that it didn’t ‘break the spell’ or ‘spoil the mood’. What was most surprising, however, was that we found that just the opposite happened.

One evening, during one of our Valley Orgasm practice sessions, I had reached the point where I knew that I was going to have to have a break. After a few months of practice I was getting to recognise the tell-tale signs of ‘excess Sexual Qi build-up’. Put quite simply, I would reach a point where any further stimulation, no matter how little, would lead to ejaculation. So I had learned that

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the best tactic at that point was to take a break and do something that did not involve Jade Stalk stimulation. So I stopped moving and let Jade Stalk rest in Yoni and then said to Mieke:

‘I think it’s time for a break.’

We both relaxed and circulated our Qi and let the Sexual Qi flow out into our bodies. It was lovely and relaxing. I then leaned back and looked at her and said:

‘Would Yoni like a little kiss?’

At that she exploded into a tremendous orgasm which, not surprisingly, meant that I too ejaculated from the squeezes and the orgasmic energy. It was one of the most powerful orgasmic surges we had ever experienced. That was of course wonderful, although it wasn’t quite what we had planned. What was most amazing, though, is that we realized at that moment that we hadn’t actually done anything physical at all. All I did was say something! It seems like that space of relaxation can be very powerful indeed.

Valley Orgasm Exercise

Goals

•

Learn how to create the right conditions for a Valley Orgasm

•

Practice refining and directing Sexual Qi

What you’ll need

Your Sacred Sex Space

Description

Both Partners:
Before you begin, give each other a back massage and, if you wish, a short Yoni and/or Jade Stalk massage. The idea is to relax your bodies and to get a bit of Sexual Qi flowing.

When you’re ready, move into a relaxed love-making position,
i.e.
one where you can stop moving and simply hold each other without having to tense any muscles. You also want to use a position where the man is not stimulated strongly. A ‘woman-on-top’ position can be a good one to try, but if you’ve been doing

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Beyond Tantra – Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex Morning and Evening Prayer you will probably have discovered the best position for you as a couple.

In the beginning, the important thing to watch is the excitement level of the man. Start working your way up to a ‘peak’ of arousal using the nine short, one long stroke method. Once you feel that you have reached about three quarters of the way to the ‘point-of-no-return’ stop, relax and circulate your Sexual Qi up your spines and down your partner’s front channel. If you are unsure when to stop you can use a small clock instead and stop after five minutes.

Now, go into the ‘valley’ by relaxing, synchronizing your breathing and not moving. If you want, you can hold each other but not too tightly as you want to leave room for the Sexual Qi to flow. This is the place where a Valley Orgasm happens. It may not happen the first time you do this, or even the tenth, but sooner or later it will. It can start as a small trembling or shaking that spreads its way from your bellies and works it ways all the way to the tips of your toes and fingers. It can also be an almost explosive energy that occurs when you least expect it. The important thing is that it happens ‘by itself ’,
i.e.
when you are not actively moving and stimulating Jade Stalk, Yoni or any other part of your body.

The wonderful thing about a Valley Orgasm is that you can relax into it and allow it to flood inside yourselves and between each other with full awareness.

This, then, is the point, in our experience, where the maximum healing

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effect of Dual Cultivation can take place. As the surge of Orgasmic Energy /

Sexual Qi flows through your body, take a deep breath together and ‘gather up’

the Sexual Qi with your mind. Exhale together and direct it to one of the following places:

• A place in your or your partner’s body that requires healing or strengthening. Agree ahead of time where this place is so that you can focus together on it. This is how we healed Mieke.

• Your Lower Tan Tien for storage.

• It is also possible to direct the Sexual Qi to a particular ‘thought’ or

‘wish’. This practice is well known in Western esoteric traditions as ‘Sex Magick’ and is outside the scope of this book. This practice should no doubt be undertaken with great caution and due consideration. There is a well-known Chinese curse: ‘May all your wishes be granted’!

Once the wave of a Valley Orgasm has subsided, you can begin your nine short, one long rhythm again. Alternate roles,
i.e.
let the man do the strokes for one series of nine times nine and then let the woman do the next series. All the time stay aware and watch that your peaks don’t get too high! Repeat the peak /

valley sequence as many times as you like.

When you get to the point where you decide to ‘go for it’, just let the Sexual Qi reach a climax. When you do, remember to circulate and store your Sexual

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Beyond Tantra – Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex Qi in your Lower Tan Tiens since, this is a precious, beneficial energy that you have worked on cultivating. Make the most of it.